2018 Writers Guild Awards – Tina Fey & Robert Carlock with presented the Herb Sargent Award

and now ladies and gentlemen the presentation of the herb sergeant award [Applause] good evening mosy you know me as tracy Jordan a ridiculous character I play on television and most of the week at Benihana that dude I'm told is hilarious but what you probably don't know is that my real name is Ciccone is austere Morgan Hennessy I'm actually a classically trained thespian I played a fellow in Othello Othello and Othello's day-out thesis and Midsummer's uptown Saturday Night's Dream I was a commanding presence on the stage then I met Tina Fey in Robert kala and they introduced me to a broad a little fellow named Tracy Morgan Tracy is a ridiculous character who runs down a freeway in his underwear yelling I am a Jedi now what the is a Jedi I asked them and they said trust me now trusting Tina and Robin is not easy thing to do because they do look like two white Devils who are up to no good but anyone actors producers writers executives because of a trusted film has not been disappointed and I know I haven't but it's been one of the best relationships of my life they will do anything for you although they won't give you a kidney I know I've asked them many times I thought we were here to present the herb Sargent award together I'm not Tracy aren't your corneas wait you're Tony's oh okay Tracy Tracy you don't have to pretend you're someone else to impress these people they're just writers wait they all just writers I mean who cares what they think and I'm at least married to Amanda Peet [Applause] yeah a few of them but they're out of the ceremony in LA they do two T's that's the craziest thing I've ever heard in my mind I've heard me say some things like hold on give me a second to find my character Lippe was each week like shocked weak heavy is the head that eats the crayons I love this cornbread so much I'm gonna take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant that's the kind of stuff Tina Roberts having to say don't know most of you I don't know what most of it means but I love it yes Tracy that is the kind of comedy that we've come to expect from Gina Fey and Robert Carla that's true okay Tracy are you done now can I get serious here for a minute I wish I were taller so I could really see this prompter but I'm not so okay all right I'm gonna get serious here Tina I'm gonna start with you because frankly I've known you longer where are you okay there I've known you longer and probably along the way in our theater days I've I've probably seen you naked and I can't say the same for Robert though it's not for lack of trying Tina it's impossible for me to touch on all your achievements your contributions to comedy your mentorship your position as a role model both to men and women and to me I fit into one of those categories your ability is to come up with a joke at lightning speed your brain is a magic joke machine the likes of which I've never witnessed there's your ability to improvise to write sketch award-winning sitcoms hit screenplays and now Broadway yes when I think of you I think how everything you touch turns to comedy gold and that is true but that would give the impression that all you do is touch and it is actually your hard work your amazing brain and I'm sure here you would make some German work ethic reference but I'll need you to punch this up before air oh this isn't going to air okay well I can't make this all about Tina though because this award is for Tina and Robert together I don't have strong personal feelings for Robert because he wouldn't want me to Tina wrote that joke what can I say about Robert Carlock he is a fellow Masshole a Harvard man and a Harvard man he looks like he belongs at an Illuminati meeting at Goldman Sachs but due to some unknown giant unknown childhood trauma he decided to go into comedy and we are luckier for it Tina and Robert separately wrote some of the most memorable sketches SNL has ever known Robert wrote all the NPR sketches including the classic sweaty balls [Applause] Tina wrote Angus that's right sweaty balls in Colonel Angus I'm trying to say they're both juvenile perverts and together they did Weekend Update with Tina as anchor and Robert producing which was just many the first of their many collaborations for seven seasons the two of them ran the greatest to come of all time 30 rock after that they could have retired and rested on their laurels if Lauren hadn't kept all the money and most of the laurels [Applause] but they chose not to they just went out and created another classic show unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt yeah not to mention NBC's great news the movie whiskey-tango-foxtrot and a line of very flammable athleisure wear for JCPenney okay together they have created their own sitcom language a blink and you'll miss it rapid fire rhythm where the throwaway line is as funny as the joke you were supposed to hear the serial is allowed to live in the same space as the real with Tina and Robert in the sitcom world they've combined their comedy forces into something wonderful and unique when you put car lock and fade together you're going to get a heady mix of sharks robots and feminism and genuine heart which is something people don't give them enough credit for I truly admire you both so much for your inspiring talent your whacked-out sensibility your ability to create your own genres and on top of it all you're both nice people who are really generous of spirit I am so happy for all of your success is well-earned and most deserved and Tracy and I are honored to be able to present you with this award you know I think I speak for a lot of folks out there when I say there's been a pleasure to not only say their words but to be around a genius I love them so much Robert came to see me after the accident and Tina did too and I love you for that thank you so much I meant a lot to me I mean I love him so much I'm going to take him back back behind a middle school get him pregnant oh brother sister to the face Robert Carlock [Applause] I insist I said to Tina I'm the man I go first and she said going first means you're opening for me and I was like wait I don't what this is amazing my original plan it's late we're all drunk right come on no one wants to be here but you have to wait 14 at a talk so I can do whatever I want this says acceptance exit okay my original plan I I had this amazing idea when they win this award this incredible honor was offered to us last August my amazing idea was in light of the fact that I've been yoked to this dum-dum for about 20 years was oh I'm gonna thank all these women I've worked with and that'll be so woke and amazing and now it's just boring and you can't do it so I'm just gonna cut my grandmother and my mother from the speech even though there were artists and writers and and and I'm gonna jump right to Tina I guess and and and say in all sincerity I can't believe how lucky I am to get to use spend her goodwill to write nonsense and my stupid ideas because she's the one who gets attacked every time which is just works so great for me Tina Fey should be on a postage stamp and not just because that means she'd be dead which and then I could take a break or something because you can't take a break a syndication is it's not it's not what it used to be this is a woman that like our popular culture owes like Bossypants and Mean Girls and these are things that are just used as like shibboleths and what she did on on Weekend Update and 30 rock which should just start up again because we I think we need 30 rock it's just remarkable that I am is fortunate enough to be her partner and to get to work with and and for her and I'm so lucky and the other one I wanted to thank is my wife Jen Rogers which is a very boring name but and you don't know her you know I think applaud for because you don't know her but you do know Tina Fey so let's just put this in context which is to say that Tina Fey is an American treasure right compared to general she's just like a pile of garbage okay and that's to take nothing away from her but just like a kiddie pool full of old pasta sauce and use diapers and like peel-and-eat shrimp just in the Sun is Tina again amazing but compared to my wife and you don't you know no sorry you people like here right – you know we can agree here Jen like up here okay you stink and I'm one of you guys are amazing you remembers the Writers Guild of America you've been nominated for awards and I consider myself I'm just trying to get laid guys I consider myself in that group an auntie know we can all agree is great and then Jen Rogers but compared between a star so hard to communicate Jen Rogers imagine Tina is just like a flaming pile of and then my wife is a normal human being thank you thank you the Writers Guild of America I have to contractually thank Lorne Michaels even though he's done very little god bless america [Applause] yes I also want to say thank you to the Writers Guild of America East for this incredible honor I feel like the Gayle Lee of comedy yeah yeah damn yeah Gail if you want to come up here as well and be a part of this I would welcome that um I would say thank you so much to Tracy and to Rachel for being here as the great Caroline Manzo once said you are my fam boogly anyone who messes with my family messes with me and I love you both looking around tonight I am reminded of how hard I worked to get out of this room so like just had my teeth fixed and I look at people shoot lasers at my face and just did so many squats and yet you know right now I'm like Lady Bird right near the end I feel like I understand that this room will always be the best part of me Robert and I met over 20 years ago as writers a Saturday Night Live again contractually obligated to thank Lauren but Lauren has only given us everything we have and and taught us how to to live our lives and how to be loyal employers who foster creativity but he also likes to teach you that the producing is about discouraging creativity which is true but we first collaborated together on Weekend Update and so this is a particularly meaningful honor for us to receive the herb Sargent award because herb as you know pioneered The Weekend Update segment he was the first person to do it they created the segment he and Chevy and you know long before there was a Daily Show long before Trevor Noah could roll footage and bat his beautiful doe eyes herb was in the woods with Chevy just carving out the fake news format and so Robert and I are really proud to be a part of that heritage and and I wish that herb had trademarked the term fake news because his family would be so rich also on a side note herb Sargent I are from the same town we're both from Upper Darby Pennsylvania I met herb over here over the years and that was always so inspiring to me to know that he was from there to us as Upper Darby as me herb Sargent Cheri Oteri Todd Rundgren Jim Croce and Jamie Kennedy so the thrill line you might be picking up on is were little dirt baggy you wouldn't want us on your side in a parking lot fight aah deep Delco for always um when I first started hosting up date with Jimmy Fallon Lauren explained to me that in his experience that people who are on Weekend Update become well-known faster than the rest of the cast because they say their name every week during the segment you say hi I'm Tina Fey and here are tonight's top stories and that is the only reason that you may know me more than you know Robert we have the same skill set we have the same work ethic we are equally beautiful women I just had the good fortune to say my name on TV every week for seven years then Robert went to LA to work on friends and when I needed help to get the 30 rock pilot up on its feet and shoot it he offered to come back and help for a week and we are now 11 years into that week and I'm continually grateful 30 rock was the greatest thing that ever happened to me or was done to me those relationships work incredibly meaningful to me everything that we learned in the process and I will I will never forget it and I can't imagine at 47 like I'm confident saying it it's gonna be the best time of my life don't say my real age I just keep committing to it and then it'll be to it um and I will say this about Robert that there are so few people that I work with that you know in comparison to whom I can be the warm one the good cop and so that is a real gift that he's given me and I am one of the few people that on all it knows that under his patrician New England exterior that he is actually a very loving person and a loving father to James and Cassie and Rena sand to to a wonderful husband to Jen Rodgers who I agree and his assessment of we're all pieces of next to Jim Rogers and you know he's a he's a great American and an upstanding person and I think that is worth noting if you have a meeting with Robert when you get there he will never be just getting out of the shower shower shower himself on his own time you are safe you know and I think that that is just how low the bar is now that we that is why we're getting this award because we never made any one who works for us look at our genitals thank you you

17 thoughts on “2018 Writers Guild Awards – Tina Fey & Robert Carlock with presented the Herb Sargent Award

  1. Check out the tall babe handing the trophy out to the celebrities…

  2. The best speeches. Fact!!
    30 Rock was awesome, I miss that kind of shows❤️

  3. These are the genious behind Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I can't. I just. I'm crying

  4. "Everything you touch becomes comedy gold" this is exactly how I feel about Tina Fey

  5. The irony of that badly written title is funny enough on it's own.

  6. I'M high and i thought this said the Bob Saget award. Then I got emotional.

  7. And the reference to Loren being a VERY greedy Ahole is quite accurate. IJS

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