A Slam Poem to Bacon (with Nick Offerman)

hi I'm Nick Offerman and here's some slam poetry about something that's close to my heart sleep breaks via skillets is I startle like a Goldilocks bear i bumble out of bed and mumble who's been cooking in my kitchen I listen my nostrils widen I'm stricken it's bacon fork knife spoon trash here's my fork knife spoon again attached to my body or as I like to say my bacon eater because the world is split into two halves the bacon and the bacon Eagles utensils don't make the bacon sweeter it's breakfast crunch another bunch then lunch before I know it it's been three days I smile my lips bacon glazed I'm correct I'm finished life has diminished down to its grizzly-bear Nestle's the bacon and me the bacon in i I'm ready to die I've bacon

44 thoughts on “A Slam Poem to Bacon (with Nick Offerman)

  1. Using this for my 7th grade language arts class. They LOVE it! Great use of onomatopoeia with ‘sizzle’ and ‘crunch.’

  2. Shit director not letting the tail of the bongo sustain die before saying cut… That is legit first day film school taught shit.

  3. Anything… can be a slam… poem… if you say it… like this!

  4. I came her beacause, i told siri to do a country exent and shee sent me here

  5. *Turns the poem into a wicked hot girl or boy relative to who is watching*


  6. tell us more about your life via internet plsss
    we are alll so curious!!!!

  7. That's his gimmick, he reserves his laugh so when does laugh your laughing at the sight of the man of men is laughing.

  8. "Anything – Can be a slam poem – If you say it like this." – Leslie Knope /watch?v=0-3ctfy1M2s

  9. Funny, but the bongos would get it disqualified in an actual slam. (I'm the manager of an NPS team.) 😉

  10. If you don't find this funny, you obviously don't watch parks and rec

  11. The fact that he kept Ron Swanson's moustache and didn't laugh after they said cut makes it all that much better.

  12. Came here after I saw the video – Conan O'Brien Reviews "Hitman: Absolution"

  13. *sobbing hysterically* That was beautiful!!! The only trace of comedy I could try to find in this was thinking of his Parks and Rec character doing this, but I was blinded by the truth in his words. I was genuinely impressed…. MAN, I WANT SOME BACON!!!

  14. I am literally shitting in my pants and eating the shit.

  15. As a slam poet and a bacon lover, I really want to cover this at a slam.

  16. This is the last thing I ever expected Nick Offerman to do. Even if it is about bacon.

  17. i love how at the end the people in the back laugh and he stays completely serious

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