Age of Empires two, the age of kings,
An RTS game in which you destroy things. The rise of an empire or the fall of a warlord,
From a bunch of crap archers to a mighty Mongol horde.
Fight your way through the battles of history’s past,
El Cid, Joan Of Arc, or Vlad the outcast. With all these expansions you could fight
on forever, There’s one thing they’ve neglected I’ll touch
on however. This voice acting’s pants, it’s truly atrocious!
Resi 1 even had something on this fellow he’s hopeless.
It’s like Microsoft hired a bloke from their office,
And lied about payment to maximise profits. Now enough on this man whose never heard Scottish,
There’s much better things in this game I’ll be honest.
From capture the relic to king of the hill, Who’m I kidding? Only death match, it’s time
to kill. I’ll play as the British, any patriot should,
With ‘Freddies’ and ‘Choppen’ we’ll beat the no good.
We’ve no time for cannons and no time for horses,
One million archers and the Bangmen Special Forces.
To avoid being hoisted by my own petards, I’ll hide them inside of these rams, warn
the guards. Now to battle we’ll go with our English heads
high, And the Bangmen? Well what can I say… you
will die. Now I’ll admit, we do seem to be being attacked
from all sources, Our problem? No defence against cannon or
horses. Fear not useless longbows, the Bangmen have
arrived! It would seem you’re all useless, the enemy
have survived. Our heroic attack’s been repelled it would
seem, Fear not nobel villagers I’ve left one last
scheme. The plans for this medieval weapon I’ve uncovered,
Now it’s truly our enemies turn to be buggered.