Beauty And Body Image | That’s What She Said


-Top mark. -We’re gonna kick it off
with our body shape and size and whether it is the size
we want it to be or not. -I have always
struggled with my size. I went through years of anorexia and this — this, you know,
roller coaster of weight. And it took a long time
for me to get comfortable. As a teenager,
it was that there was no positive conversation
around body image. It was always critique. -I mean, I probably could trim
a little bit off of some stuff. -I would like to be
a little curvier. -A little bit more toned. -I’ve lost
a little bit of weight. And I’m still trying
to lose weight. -For 10 years, I was on
this pursuit of changing myself. I was queen of gossip magazines. Like, I couldn’t leave
high school without going to the store
to buy one every day. I don’t do that anymore.
I just can’t do that because I know it’s a choice
that I have had to make. But then social media
doesn’t make it easy. Of course everyone posts
their most beautiful photo because you always want to
put your best face forward. -I think as a girl growing up, you’re always comparing yourself
to women in the media. And I would wonder, like, “Will I ever look like that
or be that pretty?” Or, “Would someone ever find me
that attractive or would want me like these people seem
to want these celebrities?” -I did celebrity retouching. So I got to see, like, people
that you see your whole life. And you think they look one way. Everything that you see
has been altered. And so, like, all the magazines,
all the media that you’ve looked at your whole life and thought,
“I — I’m not that.” They aren’t.
-They aren’t either. [ Laughter ] -It’s one of those things
where you can’t really blame one or the other. You can’t say,
“Oh, it’s the media. Oh, it’s the, you know,
people seeing the media.” Because at some point,
we demanded that. We wanted to see skinnier,
pretty people up there. The more we saw that,
the more we want to become that, and vice versa. -I want to talk
about the first time that we felt not good enough,
like, physically. -Probably around 13. -It’s, like, single digits. -Oh, I know. Fifth grade. -In fourth grade,
there was a play. We were doing “Helen Keller.” The boy I had a crush on
was playing the lead. I was understudy for the woman
playing his wife. And there was one time
when she was out sick. And I got to do it. And he had to catch me
when I fainted. And he stepped out of the way
and let me fall because he said
I was too ugly to touch. -Whoa.
-And it was just a stupid thing that a kid said in one instance
for no reason, you know? But damned if I didn’t think I was ugly
for the next 10 years. -I very vividly
remember at a dance convention, “I don’t look
like the rest of the girls. Therefore, I’m not good enough.” -I think that’s something
that’s natural to kind of compare yourself
to other people. It’s about knowing
the difference between “that’s something I want”
and “that’s something I need.” When you’re striving after that and you feel like you need
to have this to be perfect or to be who you want to be,
that’s where the issue comes. -You have some friends that,
like, they, like, they do. They just naturally have
a flat stomach. And, like, all you think about
is how you don’t have that flat stomach.
-Mmm. -But then you forget that, like, some of us have, like,
naturally have boobs. And their friend
who has a flat stomach is thinking about
how she doesn’t have boobs. Like, you know, we all —
It is that, like, that comparison,
“the grass is greener.” -There’s a — There’s a quote
that I always think about. And it’s, “Comparison is
the thief of joy.” -Best quote.
-It’s the best quote because what I do
is I give myself a check. Am I not joyful? And it’s almost 100% of the time because I’m looking
at other people, even in my own husband,
and being like, “He has this that I don’t have.” -I think that growing
and evolving and — and bettering yourself is great if it’s done in a really honest,
healthy, and loving way. -I, um, am trying now
to look myself in the mirror and notice something beautiful
about myself every day. And, like, verbally
acknowledging it and looking at myself
in the eyes, in the mirror and say, like,
“This — Like, I love the way
your hair is falling today.” And just speaking truth
into our own lives, I think,
acknowledging our own beauty and not being afraid to talk
about it is a very healthy step, at least for me. -I think I feel the most
beautiful when I’m naked because it’s just
like what it is, you know? And it’s unapologetic. Like, I have this big mirror
in front of my bed. And so, like,
as I’m getting into bed, I’m like, “We’re all right.” Like, “We’re — It’s all good.” -I feel the most beautiful when I’m being kissed
by the person that I love. -I feel the most beautiful, uh, when I’m making
a deep connection with someone. -In the morning.
It’s kind of weird. -When I, like, catch my husband looking at me across the room
when I’m with my friends. -I feel the most beautiful when I know that I’m
being authentically myself. -I-I think I feel
the most beautiful through the eyes
of my loved ones. -When I’m fulfilling the purpose
that God’s given me. -When I’m sharing a moment
of joy with someone else. And, like, having that, like,
deep, deep laughter. -I feel the most beautiful when someone else
is feeling beautiful because of
what I’m seeing in them. -My name is Natalie Patterson. And I wrote a poem called,
“Beautiful Body.” And I’m gonna share
it with you now. She said,
“You have a beautiful body.” And I could not comprehend
the words. It was the first time
in my entire life I had heard those words placed
together and directed at me. When I’m confused,
I take big ideas and break ’em
into smaller pieces, make them tiny enough
to fit my world into. You have a beautiful body. “You” meaning me, Natalie Patterson,
daughter of Joe Frank and Lynne. Meaning Midwest American
black girl with skin and eyes light enough
to confuse her own kind. Meaning my own kind
don’t recognize me. You have a beautiful body. “Have” implies ownership,
meaning I, Natalie Patterson own something I never paid for. Meaning some things are free. Meaning I didn’t earn it,
so I don’t know the value of it, might abuse
or take it for granted. You have a beautiful body. “A” meaning one. Meaning I, Natalie Patterson,
own a single thing, one irreplaceable thing
that does, indeed, die. You have a beautiful body. “Beautiful” meaning pleasing
or satisfying. Meaning I am appealing
and desirable. I didn’t know that. I’ve always been pretty with a,
“But if you only…” attached. Never been just beautiful
stated as fact. You have a beautiful body. “Body”
meaning physical structure, a place the spirit is held in. And I have never
held even my lovers long enough to be good at it. You have a beautiful body. So I will repeat these words
until I am no longer reluctant. Until they are no long
foreign in my mouth, I will repeat these words. I have a beautiful body. I have a beautiful body.
I have a beautiful body. Until ownership
becomes a privilege, until this skin
becomes a perfect home, weathered and worn over time, a perfect home
who’s walls I know well, who’s staircase and old floor
creak my favorite song, I am my own favorite song
that I’m — I’m just now learning
all the words to. But I want to sing you. I want to sing you
till the song sticks. I have a beautiful body. Period.

100 thoughts on “Beauty And Body Image | That’s What She Said

  1. I feel most beautiful when I'm authentically me. When I let my guards down and make a goofy face in the mirror, or sing at the top of my lungs, or dance wildly with joy. The whole time I know that it's all so imperfect in the eyes of society but I don't care because I'm imperfect, and that's what makes me beautifully me.

  2. I feel the most beautiful when one of my students compliments me. They're young kids who haven't learned to lie yet. Sometimes they look at me like a star. It makes me feel really special. 🙂

  3. I just watched both, that's what she said and thats what he said. I noticed that while they are both addressing these really important identity, gender and societal issues, they are also feeding into it. For example, in Thats What He Said, the men all gather in what looks to be a storage unit and close the door before they start talking. while in Thats What She Said, the women gather to talk in the kitchen or dinning room area. see where i am going with this?

  4. Natalie Patterson's poem most definitely made me burst into tears. I'm so thankful for these videos.

  5. SoulPancake just chose beautiful and pretty women, I don't feel represented in this round xD
    And wow at that poem, just wow. And it's true, she IS beatiful.

    My answer: Never.

  6. That was such an endearing poem from Natalie Patterson! It truely resonated with my heart; and I'm sure it touched many others equally 💕

  7. Beauty is an issue no matter: age, size, ethnicity, race or gender. I wish some of these people in the comments would see that, yes, there are issues at the table, but that isn't the point of this video. There are issues with how these episodes are played out, but if you focus on the message and not the flaws, I would hope that you would learn to love yourself. If you clicked on this video, there probably was or is a body issue you're working through and that should be what you are here to discover. Not the controversial political arguments that already surround the internet.

  8. Kelli's eyes are so beautiful!! But let us not forget what she quoted "Comparison is a thief of joy."

    I am most beautiful when I am around others that I may feel are more beautiful than I am and see what makes each of us uniquely beautiful.

  9. that's a wonderful concept and discussion .. wow.. the poem at the end was awesome @natalie Patterson!

  10. thank you for this video. all this video makes me more more positive and think im beatiful as i am 😂😂

  11. In response to that last question… I never really thought I had a body image problem…but I truly only feel beautiful when I can hear my stomach rumbling. Wow, dark af.

  12. that poem was so good ^_^ infact :0 everything here is good…

  13. Maybe this is just super normal and obvious but I feel the most beautiful when I'm either with people who love me and want to chill with me for who I am. That and when I'm at a convention in a room with hundreds of people that I have at least one small thing in common with.

  14. I am 12 and a half and I have felt bad with my body image since I was 7 and in 2nd grade and it makes me so sad and I just want to be like the beautiful young models that I will never be.

  15. Amazing!! That poem was brilliant, i feel most beautiful when i make people laugh, or when they are comfortable around me :)!! loved this video x

  16. I enjoyed your frank discussions with the men, but am disappointed with your panel full of women. If you can have a diverse group of men, why didn't you do the same for women?
    Are black women and other women of color not beautiful?

  17. im in love with Natalie's poem…that was amazing. thanks Natalie.

  18. All women are beautiful. But the beauty of Golriz is enchanting. She's breath-takingly beautiful to me.

  19. what a poem. I'm crying so much, so good. I too have a beautiful body.

  20. Amazed of the women in this video saying what they are saying when I find most of them REALY REALLY cute hehe :)… Great vid, as always with this channel.

  21. i come back to this video time and time again to remind myself of the beauty within and regain my sense of empowerment. thank you, soulpancake.

  22. Kelli reminds me of Emma Thompson for some reason. Maybe it's the brightness of the eyes

  23. I feel ugly because my little sister is so beautiful and I watch strangers approach us everyday to tell her that and I stand there never earning a compliment my parents tell her she's beautiful just like our older sister they yell at me for putting myself down in a joking tone but allow her to because apparently I believe it well now I do

  24. That poem is INCREDIBLE. I just never thought of my body that way, you opened my eyes. Thank you! I wish that every person who needs to hear those words will find this video.

  25. Made me cry. Made me happy. "I have a beautiful body." Yes, you do…and so do I. We all do. May take me time to believe that, but I know I'll get there. And when I do, that will be the time I'll feel most beautiful.

  26. As a man I already feel as I've gotten more towards my mid 20s the pressures to look good increasing and its hard I feel especially with social media these days but I feel its even worse for women…truly sad. And much of it is the media with images we can never live up to. People are generally more beautiful than we tell ourselves. Were r own worst critic. I think women especially r probably much more critical of their own looks than men r of their looks. It's sad but I hope we can all learn to love our bodies despite our perceived imperfections. I hope my gf doesn't feel this way n just incase she does I try to tell her how beautiful she is daily even though she expresses her doubts. We all need to hear this

  27. I LOVE this discussion HOWEVER, I'm a black woman. A beautiful dark brown melanin enriched black woman. WE, would like to be represented at the table!!!!! Include EVERY WOMAN. Include ALL. Represent the beauty of ALL women. WHY is it so difficult for these platforms to be DIVERSE!!! rolls eyes And do not try to mask it by saying the woman speaking poetry outside in the grass was "for us"

  28. I am 4:05 in and I just can't help thinking Everyone is sooo beautiful! Every single one of them.

  29. I had a man, a friend of my husband's, tell me that my hair, which is natural and grey, makes me look like I am 75 years old. Why in the world does someone think they can walk up to another person and spout off something like that? He has a right to his opinion but seriously, is he without a filter? It really bothered me. Even though most people have a positive response to my hair his comment really hit a sore spot. Maybe it was in the delivery?

  30. The video just ended and I realized that i’m watching soulpacake while eating a pancake hahah

  31. I feel the most beautiful when I am acting at my theater. I only feel hat way because I’m not me but I don’t notice the fact that I think I have don’t a flat stomach but that’s me I’m not begging for sarrow in the comments I’m saying I dont think I’m pretty I think I’m ugly I think I will never be amazing. I am simply mentally hurting myself I’m in class right now and I was eating a candy cane and I was watching a mussicly compilation and I spit the cane out because I thought I am not i ask u to hear my cry I don’t think I’m pretty and I can’t say I’m not because u don’t know who I am.

  32. Love the music at the beginning. Can someone please tell me where I can buy it?? Thanks so much!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  33. This video is very inspiring, and the poem at the end of it is remarkable thank you so much for writing this.

  34. "until the words don't feel foreign " now these words of u Natalie won't be foreign

  35. Wow. I believe every teen needs to see this video. Every teen needs to hear that poem. I needed it, just now I needed it, maybe everyday I'll remember it, to remind myself that my body is beautiful the way it is, simply beautiful.

  36. I remember when I was 11 years old I was at a swimming pool with a friend and there were these boys we were playing around with and some of them grabbed my friend and threw her in a pool with ice cold water which was only for rinsing your feet. And then they came for me and when they carried me to that pool I heard someone say: Oh look, now they throw the fat one in!

    I will never forget these words. They hurt so bad and haunt me still, 15 years later.

  37. I love women. I love being a woman. We're so majestic and beautiful and understanding and divine.

  38. Natalie Patterson, thank you so much for being such a beautiful, tremendously inspiring person! What a beautiful poem. Loved it ❤️❤️🖖🌹

  39. That poem was A M A Z I N G. Someone give me her Instagram account plz. How is she not a professional poet?!

  40. I feel the most beautiful when I make someone else feel that much more beautiful

  41. Her poem is beautiful. I feel the most beautiful when I am comfortable with everything around me, everything that touches me and everything that I hear, see, smell and touch.

  42. I had my middle school crush texting me that I'm ugly. honestly it's still in my head. its pretty hard. I just wanna say something that nobody accepts. not everyone is actually perfect just cause they feel perfect. but honestly I think what matters is you feel perfect the way you are. what im saying is….perfection doesn't make anything right. beauty is not gonna actually label us. love yourself!💖

  43. I had my middle school crush texting me that I'm ugly. honestly it's still in my head. its pretty hard. I just wanna say something that nobody accepts. not everyone is actually perfect just cause they feel perfect. but honestly I think what matters is you feel perfect the way you are. what im saying is….perfection doesn't make anything right. beauty is not gonna actually label us. love yourself!💖

  44. I had my middle school crush texting me that I'm ugly. honestly it's still in my head. its pretty hard. I just wanna say something that nobody accepts. not everyone is actually perfect just cause they feel perfect. but honestly I think what matters is you feel perfect the way you are. what im saying is….perfection doesn't make anything right. beauty is not gonna actually label us. love yourself!💖

  45. I had my middle school crush texting me that I'm ugly. honestly it's still in my head. its pretty hard. I just wanna say something that nobody accepts. not everyone is actually perfect just cause they feel perfect. but honestly I think what matters is you feel perfect the way you are. what im saying is….perfection doesn't make anything right. beauty is not gonna actually label us. love yourself!💖

  46. I had my middle school crush texting me that I'm ugly. honestly it's still in my head. its pretty hard. I just wanna say something that nobody accepts. not everyone is actually perfect just cause they feel perfect. but honestly I think what matters is you feel perfect the way you are. what im saying is….perfection doesn't make anything right. beauty is not gonna actually label us. love yourself!💖seasom

  47. Beautiful body
    She said you have a beautiful body
    and I could not comprehend the words. It was the first time in my entire life I have ever heard these words placed to together and directed at me when I’m confused I take big ideas and break em into smaller pieces. Make em tiny enough to fit my world into.
    You have a beautiful body. “You” meaning me. Natalie Patterson. Daughter of Joe Frank and Lynne. Meaning Midwest American black girl with skin eyes light enough to confuse her own kind. Meaning my own kind don’t recognize me.
    You have a beautiful body. Have implied ownership meaning I, Natalie Patterson own something I never paid for. Meaning some things are free. Meaning I didn’t earn it, so I don’t know the value of it. might abuse or take it for granted.
    You have a beautiful body. “A”meaning one. meaning I, Natalie Patterson, own a single thing. One irreplaceable thing that does, indeed die.
    You have a beautiful body. “Beautiful” meaning pleasing or satisfying. Meaning I am appealing and desirable. I didn’t know that. I’ve always been pretty with a “but if you only..” attached. Never just beautiful stated as a fact.
    You have a beautiful body. “Body” meaning physical structure. A place a spirit is held and I have never held even my lovers long enough to be at it.
    You have a beautiful body. So I will repeat these words until I am no longer reluctant. Until they are no longer foreign in my mouth. I will repeat these words. “I have a beautiful body. I have a beautiful body. I have a beautiful body.” Until ownership becomes a privilege. Until this skin becomes a perfect home, weathered and worn over time. A perfect home who’s walls I know well. Who’s staircase and old floor creak my favorite song, I am my own favorite song. That I’m just now learning all the words to but, I wanna sing you til the song sticks. I have a beautiful body. Period.

    Here’s the poem fully typed out and re-read. Enjoy 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

  48. omg that's crazy…my name is Nathaley too and I like poems too❤🤙

  49. I feel beautiful when I look in the mirror and in that mirror there are glasses, no makeup, my natural hair down, and no body thing to contour my shape.

    I feel beautiful because I am beautiful. No matter my size, my stretch marks, my "short comings." I don't need makeup or a corset or hair covering my face to be beautiful.

    I just need to be me to be beautiful.

  50. Lord knows I had a poor body image growing up and this is before social media. Always feeling like I wasn't beautiful enough or smart enough.

  51. I feel most beautiful when I make that first connection with a feral kitten/cat and know they saw something in me that caused them to override instinct; to trust enough to trust and take one step closer to love.

  52. Thumbs up for having a colorful group of girls even a Christian woman saying what makes her feel beautiful. Thank you!

  53. And yet one more source that tells us beauty is all that matters and that "not having boobs" is bad… Smh. So much for body positivity.

  54. This 'beautiful' obsession is ridiculous.
    Do something with your minds instead wasting energy
    obsessing over body image.

  55. I love this conversation, but why are the women seated at a beautiful table with food and the male videos are in a warehouse type place without food? That’s a problem!

  56. No one is perfect neither one has to be
    so love yourself before expecting the world to love you.

  57. Okay the spoken word/slam poem is cringe. And why is this all about body size and nothing about facial features??

  58. YALL DONT EVEN UNDERSTATED HOW MANY CHILLS I GOT DURING HER POEM🤩🤩

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *