– Are you the puberty fairy? – The fuck did you just call me? – The puberty fairy? – Puberty fairy? I’m the hormone monster. I’m not a fairy. I mean sure I fuck around with
dudes but I’m not a fairy. You ever actually fucked a tomato? It’s like fucking a sneeze. – Wait you find a sneeze sexual? – I find everything sexual. – What about a chair? – Sit on it brother. – An airplane? – Big dick flying through the sky. – What about a button down shirt? – You mean a gaping butthole in ten clits? – What? – Survey says, two dicks down
sorry for the mixed metaphor. You know I’m all about jacking that stack living that horn dog life, whoop whoop. But this is pure compulsion you’ve taken something
beautiful and made it ugly. Cowabungaaaaaaaaaa! – This is great! – Gunning?! We talking about eating pussy? Too bad you lost your womb broom. – My womb broom? – Womb broom! Your mustache, it’s a
little term I picked up in the marines, Semper Fi. – Is that Caption Crunch? – I’d follow that guy to
the bottom of the ocean. – What? –
The point is, lets get out there and eat the other teams pussy. – Yeah.
– Hoorah! Rage! Rage! Fucking rage! Climb into the stands and beat his ass! – I’m going to fucking kill
them! Let me through please sorry, sorry, sorry,
let me fucking through. – Malice in the palace!
Ron Artest for life! – Nice lie baby. I mean the kid had no
idea that your aunt died years ago after a slow,
miserable battle with cancer. Ha ha, idiot. Not creepy, your honor. (muffled talking dicks) Ugh, I’m sorry I couldn’t find a sitter. One, two, three, uh I’m missing a dick everyone check their butts. (groans) It was in my own butt! You scared me. (muffled talking dick) Buddy, I’m not mad, I was just worried. Uh oh, Dickarus is flying
too close to the sun. I knew it was going to end badly! – You did? – Of course! You’re such a fucking dork! – I know. – Ugh, come here. (inconsolable crying) Okay, so here’s the key, Missy is at the base line. You’re gonna pass it down to
her, that’s asking her out. She’s gonna do a spin
move, that’s her saying yes and then that’s a dick. – Wow, I didn’t see that coming. – Oh, you wanna see it cumming? Yeah, give me a sec. (muffled talking) Sorry about that I had one of my dicks in my mouth, say yes. There’s only one way to make you shut up! (pleasurable moaning) Oh god!
– Garison, no! – Take it all killer! Take it all! Wow, okay, that depresses you. On the one hand we get to watch porn but on the other, we might have to eat cum but on the third hand, I’m looking at pre pubescent Nick and I don’t think his frosting factory is open for business yet but on the fourth hand, that fucker punched you in the face so he can eat a dick and a jizkit. – What do we do? – Press my nip, it’s the start button. This is the best night of my life! Sleepover! God dammit! Well, well, well, a hole ooh, and crotch level no less, mm yes please. I want you boys to meet
my fiance, Candice. She’s absolutely perfect I mean the only downside
is the dick splinters. Look your zit just came
more than you ever have. (evil laughter)
– Oh. – Andrew, I think the
mother and the sister are about to fuck. – Do you not know their names? We’re over here all the time. – Sorry, sorry, yes. Lexi and Rita are about to fuck. – So how would you guys like it if girls looked at your
dicks all the time? – That would be awesome! Here’s four of them, don’t
worry they’re not fighting, this is how they play. But you haven’t jerked
off in nearly 36 hours, that’s unprecedented! You’re picturing it and we’re talking about it.
– What? – I had to call back to the last episode. They’re binge watching it,
you’re binge watching it, right? Ooh, I can’t wait for
you to see the next one Jessi, discovers her vagina. It’s a very sex positive episode. She wants it, you should
take out your penis. – Oh Christ, please, just let me do this. – Okay well, I’m taking out my penis. Yeah, pretty soon I bet they’ll
all be swinging together. just a big ole fuck’n’suck. Maybe you can be the guy
who jerks off in the corner. Every orgy needs a witness, and baby wipes. (evil laughter) – Go away, you are not real you’re just some hormone
monster my brain created. – If I’m not real, then how come I’m sending blood to your sweet penis, right now. Who cares? Nick’s a baby. Let’s watch the sex scene
from “Dallas Buyers Club.” Oh, oh, oh, tell him to send a dick pic, girls love that especially
when it comes out of nowhere with like zero context. You don’t know what’s in that backpack. Ooh, I bet it’s filled
to the brim with dildos. – Hey, Andrew, do you
wanna play travel Scrabble? (evil laugher) – She wants it so bad. What is that? You smell that? (Sniffing) – I don’t smell anything. – That’s period blood. – Oh my god, you’re a really bad guy. – This is blood lust
Andrew, literal blood lust. – That’s right Maury, I can’t be tamed. – I never wanted to tame you! I just wanted to keep a toothbrush and a few spare dicks in your apartment. Oh Connie! – Like a show about a
bunch of kids masturbating? – Isn’t that basically just
like child pornography? – Holy shit, I hope not. I mean maybe if it’s animated
we can get away with it.