Bo Burnham – what. (I Fuck Sluts) [Legendado PT-BR]

I think we should do a poem right now, if that’s okay. This poem is a little bit sappy, a little bit
romantic, so… get it out of the way now. And we will go back to the dirty stuff. Everyone loves a little late show or whatever. It’s called “I Fuck Sluts”. It’s not a role call, but thank you. Sluts, sluts. I fuck sluts. Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts. No “ifs”, “ands” and/or “buts”. I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice, but no good for nut-sucking. They’ll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking. But that’ll be easy with sleazy old
slut fucking. Boo to the nice girls. Praised be the slut-fucking! I have a list. A list?
Yes, a list of all the sluts I’ve missed. I never fucked or sucked these sluts
and thus my nuts are fucking pissed. So when I fuck the lucky slut,
my nut removes her from the list. Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my
nut-sucking suck it slut, slut-fucking bucket list. Yes, you hear the influences! Chaucer, Keats Pages are blank, I know it.
Why am I lying to you? Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond. They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones. Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their
brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash. Excuse me. But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart. These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart. They can talk about science, music or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart. But don’t trust these sluts, don’t. Don’t you dare.
They’ll force you to trust them, and love them and care. But then they’ll be gone and you’ll be aware
of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there. Thank you very much. So… he was lashing out with sexist language ’cause he had his heart broken. We all learned something.

71 thoughts on “Bo Burnham – what. (I Fuck Sluts) [Legendado PT-BR]

  1. What I love about this is that it's obviously set up as a joke but it is actual a genuinely sweet and sincere heartbreak poem. Love Bo!

  2. When my gf broke up with me I felt the same way I

    OK she dumped me…F you…

    Talk to old fwb to see if she wants to screw

    Screws until the hole in my heart is filled

  3. I love Bo's satire like this. It makes people laugh and think it's funny and then ends with calling the people who talk like this sexist. It's like, a clever trap. It's great.

  4. "Its called I fuck sluts"

    Girl screams

    "Its not a roll call, but thanks"

    😆💀 lmfao

  5. This poem is sooooo inappropriate lmfao but it's sooooo awesome…. I've been practicing this….. Lmfao. I have no life. But I'm getting there. Heheh

  6. Sluts, sluts, I'd fuck sluts, if I was Starsky or Hutch, or someone slick; like Lionel Hutz, who's really in to yellow buts! But I'm not, I'm just a guy, who isn't hot, so doesn't try to fuck some sluts, just on the fly. So im alone, think I'll go cry……

  7. Reciting this is my party trick… Well, it would be if I went to parties. It's just kind of my sad talent.

  8. the whole thing is great, but the pages is blank part and him turning the page after putting it on his head was the best part imo, that just killed me with laughter

  9. I read this poem my college's poetry night. It was amazing. Thanks Bo.

  10. Damn it, don't tell them about us nice sluts tearing holes in your heart by leaving you!!!

  11. That "they can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones" is such an underrated joke

  12. "Not a role call, but thank you." This joke was obviously improvised. God, I wish I was good at improv.

  13. I love how he says they can be skinny with big tits or skinny with small once.
    I guess Bo doesn't like fat girls

  14. bo burnham is brilliant he make you laugh and then strikes you when a good message or something sad, gets me every time.

  15. “I fuck sluts”
    “It’s not a role call thank you”
    I love that so much

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