Crime and Punishment – Part 3



part three chapter I Raskolnikov got up and sat down on the sofa he waved his hand weakly to resume and to cut short the flow of warm and incoherent consolations he was addressing to his mother and sister took them both by the hand and for a minute or two gazed from one to the other without speaking his mother was alarmed by his expression it revealed an emotion agonizingly pointed and at the same time something immobile almost insane pulcheria alexandrovna began to cry after romanovna was pale her hand trembled in her brother's go home with him he said in a broken voice pointing to resume in goodbye till tomorrow tomorrow everything is it long since you arrived this evening Rodya answered pulcheria alexandrovna the train was awfully late but Rodya nothing would induce me to leave you now spend the night here near you don't torture me he said with a gesture of irritation I will stay with him cried resumed in I won't leave him for a moment bother all my visitors let them rage to their heart's content my uncle is presiding their crime and punishment three hundred and fifty five of nine hundred and sixty-seven how how can I thank you Pulcheria Alexandrovna was beginning once more pressing resumed Ian's hands but Raskolnikov interrupted her again I can't have it I can't have it he repeated irritably don't worry me enough go away can stand it come mama come out of the room at least for a minute Downie a whispered in dismay we are distressing him that's evident Mae and I look at him after three years wept pulcheria alexandrovna stay he stopped them again you keep interrupting me and my ideas get muddled have you seen lesson No Rodya but he knows already of our arrival we have heard Rodya that Pyatt her petrovich was so kind as to visit you today pulcheria alexandrovna added somewhat timidly yes he was so kind Dona I promised lesson I'd throw him downstairs and told him to go to hell Rodya what are you saying surely you don't mean to tell us Pulcheria Alexandrovna began an alarm but she stopped looking at Danya after romanovna was looking attentively at her brother waiting for what would come next both of them had heard of the quarrel from nastusya so far as she had Crime and Punishment 356 of 967 succeeded in understanding and reporting it and were in painful perplexity and suspense Dona Raskolnikov continued with an effort I don't want that marriage so at the first opportunity tomorrow you must refuse lesson so that we may never hear his name again good heavens cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna brother think what you are saying don't you romanovna began impetuously but immediately checked herself you are not fit to talk now perhaps you are tired she added gently I am delirious no you are marrying lesson for my sake won't accept the sacrifice and so write a letter before tomorrow to refuse him let me read it in the morning and that will be the end of it then I can't do the girl cried offended what right have you Danya you are hasty to be quiet tomorrow don't you see the mother interposed in dismay better come away he is raving razumihin cried tip silly or how would he dare tomorrow all this nonsense will be over today he certainly did drive him away that was so and crime and punishment 357 of 967 lesson got angry – he made speeches here wanted to show off his learning and he went out crestfallen then it's true cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna goodbye til tomorrow brother said dhaniya compassionately let us go mother goodbye Rodya do you hear sister he repeated after them making a last effort I am NOT delirious this marriage is an infamy let me act like a scoundrel but you mustn't one is enough and though I am a scoundrel I wouldn't own such a sister it's me or lesson go now but you're out of your mind roared resumen but Raskolnikov did not and perhaps could not answer he lay down on the sofa and turned to the wall utterly exhausted after romanovna looked with interest at resume in her black eyes flashed resumed ian positively started at her glance pulcheria alexandrovna stood overwhelmed nothing would induce me to go she whispered in despair to resume Ian I will stay somewhere here escort downy a home you'll spoil everything resumed Ian answered in the same whisper losing patience come out onto the stairs anyway nastusya show a light I assure you he went on Crime and Punishment 358 of 967 in a half whisper on the stairs that he was almost beating the doctor and me this afternoon do you understand the doctor himself even he gave way and left him so is not to irritate him I remained downstairs on guard but he dressed at once and slipped off and he will slip off again if youíre Tate him at this time of night and will do himself some mischief what are you saying and if dhoti are romanovna can't possibly be left in those lodgings without you just think where you are staying that blaggard Pyatt her pet Ravitch couldn't find you better lodgings but you know I've had a little to drink and that's what makes me swear don't mind it but I'll go to the landlady here pulcheria alexandrovna insisted ill beseech her to find some corner for dhaniya and me for the night I can't leave him like that I cannot this conversation took place on the landing just before the landlady's door nastusya lighted them from a step below resumed ian was an extraordinary excitement half an hour earlier while he was bringing Raskolnikov home he had indeed talked too freely but he was aware of it himself and his head was clear in spite of the vast crime and punishment 359 of 967 quantities he had imbibed now he was in a state bordering on ecstasy and all that he had drunk seemed to fly to his head with redoubled effect he stood with the two ladies seizing both by their hands persuading them and giving them reasons with astonishing plainness of speech and at almost every word he uttered probably to emphasise his arguments he squeezed their hands painfully as in a vise he stared out of dhoti are romanovna without the least regard for good manners they sometimes pulled their hands out of his huge bony paws but far from noticing what was the matter he drew them all the closer to him if they told him to jump head foremost from the staircase he would have done it without thought or hesitation in their service though pulcheria alexandrovna felt that the young man was really too eccentric and pinched her hand too much in her anxiety over her Rodya she looked on his presence as providential and was unwilling to notice all his peculiarities but though if dhoti are romanovna shared her anxiety and was not of timorous disposition she could not see the glowing light in his eyes without wonder and almost alarm it was only the unbounded confidence inspired by nastasia's account of her brother's queer friend which prevented her from trying to run away from Crime and Punishment 360 of 967 him and to persuade her mother to do the same she realized too that even running away was perhaps impossible now ten minutes later however she was considerably reassured it was characteristic of resume Ian that he showed his true nature at once whatever mood he might be in so that people quickly saw the sort of man they had to deal with you can't go to the landlady that's perfect nonsense he cried if you stay though you are his mother you'll drive him to a frenzy and then goodness knows what will happen listen I'll tell you what I'll do nastusya will stay with him now and I'll conduct you both home you can't be in the streets alone Petersburg is an awful place in that way but no matter then I'll run straight back here in a quarter of an hour later on my word of honor I'll bring you news how he is whether he is asleep and all that then listen I'll run home in a twinkling I have a lot of friends they're all drunk I'll fetch dasa move that's the doctor who is looking after him he is there too but he is not drunk he is not drunk he is never drunk I'll drag him to Rodya and then to you so that you'll get two reports in the hour from the doctor you understand from the doctor himself that's a very different thing from my account of him if there's anything wrong crime and punishment 361 of 967 I swear I'll bring you here myself but if it's all right you go to bed and I'll spend the night here in the passage he won't hear me and I'll tells awesome move to sleep at the landlady's to be at hand which is better for him you or the doctor so come home then but the landlady is out of the question it's alright for me but it's out of the question for you she wouldn't take you for she's four she's a fool she'd be jealous on my account of a floatie are romanovna and of you too if you want to know of a floatie are romanovna certainly she isn't absolutely absolutely unaccountable character but I am a fool to no matter come along do you trust me come do you trust me or not let us go mother said of dota romanovna he will certainly do what He has promised he has saved Rodya already and if the doctor really will consent to spend the night here what could be better you see you you understand me because you are an angel razumihin cried in ecstasy let us go nastusya fly upstairs and sit with him with a light I'll come in a quarter of an hour though pulcheria alexandrovna was not perfectly convinced she made no further resistance resumed Ian gave an arm to each and drew them down the stairs he crime and punishment 362 of 967 still made her uneasy as though he was competent and good-natured was he capable of carrying out his promise he seemed in such a condition ah I see you think I am in such a condition resumed Ian broken upon her thoughts guessing them as he strolled along the pavement with huge steps so that the two ladies could hardly keep up with him a fact he did not observe however nonsense that is like a fool but that's not it I am NOT drunk from wine it's seeing you has turned my head but don't mind me don't take any notice I am talking nonsense I am not worthy of you I am utterly unworthy of you the minute I've taken you home I'll pour a couple of pailful civ water over my head in the gutter here and then I shall be alright if only you knew how I loved you both don't laugh and don't be angry you may be angry with anyone but not with me I am his friend and therefore I am your friend too I want to be I had a presentiment last year there was a moment though it wasn't a presentment for you seem to have fallen from heaven and I expect I shan't sleep all night zossimov was afraid a little time ago that he would go mad that's why he mustn't be irritated what do you say cried the mother in punishment 363 of 967 did the doctor really say that asked if dhoti romanovna alarmed but it's not so not a bit of it gave him some medicine a powder I saw it and then you're coming here ah if you had come tomorrow it's a good thing we went away and in an hour's awesome of himself will report to you about everything he is not drunk and I shan't be drunk and what made me get so tight because they got me into an argument damn them I've sworn never to argue such trash I almost came to blows I've left my uncle to preside would you believe they insist on complete absence of individualism and that's just what they relish not to be themselves to be as unlike themselves as they can that's what they regard as the highest point of progress if only their nonsense were their own but as it is listen pulcheria alexandrovna interrupted timidly but it only added fuel to the flames what do you think shouted resumed in louder than ever you think I am attacking them for talking nonsense not a bit I like them to talk nonsense that's man's one privilege over all creation through error you come to the truth I am a man because I err you never reach any truth crime and punishment 364 of 967 without making 14 mistakes and very likely a hundred and fourteen and a fine thing too in its way but we can't even make mistakes on our own account talk nonsense but talk your own nonsense and I'll kiss you for it to go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's in the first case you are a man in the second you are no better than a bird truth won't escape you but life can be cramped there have been examples and what are we doing now in science development thought invention ideals aims liberalism judgment experience in everything everything everything we are still in the preparatory class at school we prefer to live on other people's ideas it's what we are used to am i right am i right cried resumed in pressing and shaking the two ladies hands oh mercy I do not know cried poor pulcheria alexandrovna yes yes though I don't agree with you and everything added up dhoti are romanovna earnestly and at once entered a cry for he squeezed her hand so painfully yes you say yes well after that you you he cried in a transport you are a fount of goodness purity sense and perfection give me your hand you give me yours too want to kiss your hands here at once on crime and punishment 365 of 967 my knees and he fell on his knees on the pavement fortunately at that time deserted leave off I entreat you what are you doing Pulcheria Alexandrovna cried greatly distressed get up get up said dhaniya laughing though she too was upset not for anything till you let me kiss your hands that's it enough and we'll go on I am a luckless fool I am unworthy of you and drunk and I am ashamed I am not worthy to love you but to do homage to you is the duty of every man who is not a perfect Beast and I've done homage here are your lodgings and for that alone Rodya was right and driving near Pyatt or petrovich away how dare he how dare he put you in such lodgings it's a scandal do you know the sort of people they take in here and you his betrothed you are his betrothed yes well then I'll tell you your fiance is a scoundrel excuse me mister resume in you are forgetting Pulcheria Alexandrovna was beginning yes yes you are right I did forget myself I am ashamed of it resume Ian made haste to apologize but but you can't be angry with me for speaking so for I speak sincerely and not because hum-hum that would crime and punishment 366 of 967 be disgraceful in fact not because I'm in him well anyway I won't say why I'd errant but we all saw today when he came in that that man is not of our sort not because he had his hair curled at the barbers not because he was in such a hurry to show his wit but because he is a spy a speculator because he is a skinflint and a buffoon that's evident do you think him clever no he is a fool a fool and is he a match for you good heavens do you see ladies stop suddenly on the way upstairs to their rooms though all my friends there are drunk yet they are all honest and though we do talk a lot of trash and I do too yet we shall talk our way to the truth at last for we are on the right path while Peter Petrovich is not on the right path though I've been calling them all sorts of names just now I do respect them all though I don't respect zametov I like him for he is a puppy and that bollocks awesome move because he is an honest man and knows his work but enough it's all said and forgiven is it forgiven well then let's go on this corridor I've been here there was a scandal here at number three where are you here which number eight well Lock yourselves in for the night then anybody in in a quarter of an hour I'll come back with news in hafen Crime and Punishment 367 of nine hundred and sixty-seven hour later I'll bring zossimov you'll see goodbye I'll run good heavens Danya what is going to happen said pulcheria alexandrovna addressing her daughter with anxiety and dismay don't worry yourself mother said dona taking off her hat and cape god has sent this gentleman to our aid though he has come from a drinking party we can depend on him I assure you and all that he has done for Rodia ah Dona goodness knows whether he will come how could I bring myself to leave Rodya and how different how different I had fancied our meeting house Ellen he was as though not pleased to see us tears came into her eyes no it's not that mother you didn't see you were crying all the time unhinged by serious illness that's the reason ah that illness what will happen what will happen how he talked to you Danya and number X 2019 said the mother looking timidly at her daughter trying to read her thoughts and already half consoled by downy as standing up for her brother which meant that she had already crime and punishment 368 of 967 forgiving him I am sure he will think better of it tomorrow she added probing her further and I am sure that he will say the same tomorrow about that F dou TR romanovna said finally and of course there was no going beyond that for this was a point which pulcheria alexandrovna was afraid to discuss dhaniya went up and kissed her mother the latter warmly embraced her without speaking then she sat down to wait anxiously for resume Ian's returned timidly watching her daughter who walked up and down the room with her arms folded lost in thought this walking up and down when she was thinking was a habit of a so TR romanovna sand the mother was always afraid to break in on her daughter's mood at such moments resumed in of course was ridiculous in his sudden drunken infatuation for if dhoti romanovna yet apart from his eccentric condition many people would have thought it justified if they had seen if dhoti are romanovna especially at that moment when she was walking to and fro with folded arms pensive and melancholy of dhoti romanovna was remarkably good-looking she was tall strikingly well proportioned strong and self-reliant the latter quality was apparent in every gesture though it did not in the least detract from the Grace and softness of her crime and punishment 369 of 967 movements face she resembled her brother but she might be described as really beautiful her hair was dark brown a little lighter than her brothers there was a proud light in her almost black eyes and yet at times a look of extraordinary kindness she was pale but it was a healthy pallor her face was radiant with freshness and vigor her mouth was rather small the full red lower lip projected a little as did her chin it was the only irregularity in her beautiful face but it gave it a peculiarly individual and almost haughty expression her face was always more serious and thoughtful than gay but how well smiles how well youthful light-hearted irresponsible laughter suited her face it was natural enough that a warm open simple hearted honest giant like resumen who had never seen anyone like her and was not quite sober at the time should lose his head immediately besides as chance would have it he saw dhaniya for the first time transfigured by her love for her brother and her joy at meeting him afterwards he saw her lower lip quiver with indignation at her brother's insolent cruel and ungrateful words and his fate was sealed he had spoken the truth moreover when he blurted out in his drunken talk on the stairs that praskovya Pavlovna raskin a coughs eccentric landlady would be Crime and Punishment 370 of 967 jealous of pulcheria alexandrovna as well as above dhoti romanovna on his account although pulcheria alexandrovna was 43 her face still retained traces of her former beauty she looked much younger than her age indeed which is almost always the case with women who retain serenity of spirit sensitiveness and pure sincere warmth of heart to old age we may add in parentheses that to preserve all this is the only means of retaining beauty to old age her hair had begun to grow gray and thin there had long been little crow's foot wrinkles around her eyes her cheeks were hollow and sunken from anxiety and grief and yet it was a handsome face she was dhaniya over again 20 years older but without the projecting under lip pulcheria alexandrovna was emotional but not sentimental timid and yielding but only to a certain point she could give way and accept a great deal even of what was contrary to her convictions but there was a certain barrier fixed by honesty principle and the deepest convictions which nothing would induce her to cross exactly 20 minutes after resume Ian's departure there came too subdued but hurried knocks at the door he had come back I won't come in I haven't time he hastened to say when the door was opened he sleeps like a top soundly crime and punishment three hundred and seventy one of nine hundred and sixty-seven quietly and God grant he may sleep ten hours Nastasia is with him I told her not to leave till I came now I am fetching zossimov he will report to you and then you'd better turn in I can see you are too tired to do anything and he ran off down the corridor when a very competent and devoted young man cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna exceedingly delighted he seems a splendid person after romanovna replied with some warmth resuming her walk up and down the room it was nearly an hour later when they heard footsteps in the corridor in another knock at the door both women waited this time completely relying on resumed Ian's promise he actually had succeeded in bringing zossimov zossimov had agreed at once to desert the drinking party to go to Raskin Oh coughs but he came reluctantly and with the greatest suspicion to see the lady's mistrusting resumed Ian in his exhilarated condition but his vanity was at once reassured and flattered he saw that they were really expecting him as an Oracle he stayed just ten minutes and succeeded in completely convincing and comforting pulcheria alexandrovna he spoke with mark sympathy but with the reserve in extreme crime and punishment three hundred and seventy two of 967 seriousness of a young doctor at an important consultation he did not utter a word on any other subject and did not display the slightest desire to enter into more personal relations with the two ladies remarking at his first entrance the desing beauty of FDR romanovna he endeavoured not to notice her at all during his visit and addressed himself solely to pulcheria alexandrovna all this gave him extraordinary inward satisfaction he declared that he thought the invalid at this moment going on very satisfactorily according to his observations the patient's illness was due partly to his unfortunate material surroundings during last few months but it had partly also a moral origin was so to speak the product of several material and moral influences anxieties apprehensions troubles certain ideas and so on noticing stealthily that if dhoti are romanovna was following his words with close attention zossimov allowed himself to enlarge on this theme on pulcheria alexandrovna anxiously and timidly inquiring as to some suspicion of insanity he replied with a composed and candid smile that his words had been exaggerated that certainly the patient had some fixed idea something approaching a monomania he zossimov was now particularly studying this interesting branch of Medicine crime and punishment 373 of 967 but that it must be recollected that until today the patient had been in delirium and and that no doubt the presence of his family would have a favorable effect on his recovery and distract his mind if only all fresh shocks can be avoided he added significantly then he got up took leave with an impressive and affable bow while blessings warm gratitude and entreaties were showered upon him and if dhoti are romanovna spontaneously offered her hand to him he went out exceedingly pleased with his visit and still more so with himself we'll talk tomorrow go to bed at once resumed Ian said in conclusion following Zasa move out I'll be with you tomorrow morning as early as possible with my report that's a fetching little girl of Doty romanovna remarked zossimov almost licking his lips as they both came out into the street fetching said fetching roared Rossum Ian and he flew it's awesome move and seized him by the throat if you ever dare do you understand do you understand he shouted shaking him by the collar and squeezing him against the wall do you hear let me go you drunken devil said zossimov struggling and when he had let him go he stared at him crime and punishment three hundred and seventy four of nine hundred and sixty-seven and went off into a sudden de foie resume Ian stood facing him in gloomy an earnest reflection of course I am an ass he observed sombre as a storm cloud but still you are another no brother not at all such another I am not dreaming of any folly they walked along in silence and only when they were close to Raskin coughs lodgings resumed Ian broke the silence in considerable anxiety listen he said you're a first-rate fellow but among your other failings you're a loose-fish that I know and a dirty one – you are a feeble nervous reg in a mass of whims you are getting fat and lazy and can't deny yourself anything and I call that dirty because it leads one straight into the dirt you've let yourself get so slack that I don't know how it is you are still a good even a devoted doctor you a doctor sleep on a featherbed and get up at night to your patients in another three or four years you won't get up for your patients but hang it all that's not the point you are going to spend tonight in the landlady's flat here hard work I've had to persuade her and I'll be in the kitchen so here's a chance for you to get to know her better it's not as you think not a trace of anything of the sort brother Crime and Punishment 375 of 967 but I don't think here you have modesty brother silence bashfulness a savage virtue and yet she's sighing and melting like wax simply melting save me from her by all that's unholy she's most pre possessing I'll repay you I'll do anything zossimov laughed more violently than ever well you are smitten to do with her it won't be much trouble I assure you you like to her as long as you sit by her and talk you're a doctor to try curing her of something I swear you won't regret it as a piano and you know I strum a little I have a song there a genuine Russian one I shed hot tears she likes the genuine article and well it all began with that song now you're a regular performer a Maitre Rubinstein I assure you you won't regret it but have you made her some promise something signed a promise of marriage perhaps nothing nothing absolutely nothing of the kind she is not that sort at all tried that well then drop her drop her like that why can't you crime and punishment 376 of 967 well I can't that's all about it there's an element of attraction here brother then why have you fascinated her fascinated her perhaps I was fascinated myself in my folly but she won't care a straw whether it's you or I so long as somebody sits beside her sighing I can't explain the position brother look here you are good at mathematics and working at it now begin teaching her the integral calculus upon my soul I'm not joking I'm in earnest it'll be just the same to her she will gaze at you in sigh for a whole year together I talked to her once for two days at a time about the Prussian House of Lords for one must talk of something she just side and perspired and you mustn't talk of love she's bashful too hysterics but just let her see you can't tear yourself away that's enough it's fearfully comfortable you're quite at home you can read sit lie about right you may even venture on a kiss if you are careful but what do I want with her ACH I can't make you understand you see you are made for each other often been reminded of you you'll come to it in the end so does it matter whether it's sooner or later there's the featherbed element here brother ACH and not only that there's an attraction crime and punishment 377 of nine hundred and sixty-seven here here you have the end of the world an anchorage a quiet Haven the navel of the earth the three fishes that are the foundation of the world the essence of pancakes of savory fish pies of the evening samovar of soft sighs and warm shawls and hot stoves to sleep on as snug as though you were dead and yet you're alive the advantages of both at once well hang it brother what stuff I'm talking it's bedtime listen sometimes wake up at night so I'll go in and look at him but there's no need it's all right don't you worry yourself yet if you like you might just look in once too but if you notice anything delirium or fever wake me at once but there can't be Crime and Punishment three hundred and seventy eight of nine hundred and sixty-seven chapter to resume ian waked up next morning at eight o'clock troubled and serious he found himself confronted with many new and unlooked-for perplexities he had never expected that he would ever wake up feeling like that he remembered every detail of the previous day and he knew that a perfectly novel experience had befallen him that he had received an impression unlike anything he had known before at the same time he recognized clearly that the dream which had fired his imagination was hopelessly unattainable so unattainable that he felt positively ashamed of it and he hastened to pass to the other more practical cares and difficulties bequeathed him by that thrice occur said yesterday the most awful recollection of the previous day was the way he had shown himself base and mean not only because he had been drunk but because he had taken advantage of the young girl's position to abuse her fiance in his stupid jealousy knowing nothing of their mutual relations and obligations and next to nothing of the man himself and what right had he to criticise him in that hasty and unguarded manner who had asked for his crime and punishment 379 of 967 opinion was it thinkable that such a creature as if Doty are romanovna would be marrying an unworthy man for money so there must be something in him the lodgings but after all how could he know the character of the lodgings he was furnishing a flat fool pickable it all was vacation was it that he was drunk such a stupid excuse was even more degrading in wine is truth and the truth had all come out that is all the uncleanness of his course and envious heart and would such a dream ever be permissible to him resume e'en what was he besides such a girl he the drunken noisy braggart of last night was it possible to imagine so absurd and cynical a juxtaposition resumed Ian blushed desperately at the very idea and suddenly the recollection forced itself vividly upon him of how he had said last night on the stairs that the landlady would be jealous of F dou TR romanovna that was simply intolerable he brought his fists down heavily on the kitchen stove hurt his hand and sent one of the bricks flying of course he muttered to himself a minute later with a feeling of self abasement of course all these infamies can never be wiped out or smooth it over and so it's useless even to think of it and I must go to them in crime and punishment three hundred and eighty of 967 silence and do my duty in silence too and not ask forgiveness and say nothing for all is lost now as he dressed he examined his attire more carefully than usual he hadn't another suit if he had had perhaps he wouldn't have put it on I would have made a point of not putting it on but in any case he could not remain a cynic in a dirty Slevin he had no right to offend the feelings of others especially when they were in need of his assistance and asking him to see them he brushed his clothes carefully his linen was always decent in that respect he was especially clean he washed that morning scrupulously he got some soap from nastusya he washed his hair his neck and especially his hands when it came to the question whether to shave his stably chin or not praskovya Pavlovna had capital razors that had been left by her late husband the question was angrily answered in the negative let it stay as it is what if they think that I shaved on purpose too they certainly would think so not on any account and the worst of it was he was so coarse so dirty he had the manners of a pot-house and and even admitting that he knew he had some of the essentials of a gentleman what was there in that to be proud of crime and punishment 381 of 967 everyone ought to be a gentleman and more than that and all the same he remembered he too had done little things not exactly dishonest and yet and what thoughts he sometimes had him and to set all that beside of dhoti romanovna confound it so be it well he'd make a point then of being dirty greasy pot house in his manners and he wouldn't care he'd be worse he was engaged in such monologues when zossimov who had spent the night in praskovya Pavlovna spar ler came in he was going home and was in a hurry to look at the invalid first resumed Ian informed him that Raskolnikov was sleeping like a dormouse zossimov gave orders that they shouldn't wake him and promised to see him again about 11:00 if he is still at home he added damn it all if one can't control one's patience how is one to cure them do you know whether he will go to them or whether they are coming here they are coming I think said resume in understanding the object of the question and they will discuss their family affairs no doubt I'll be off you as the doctor have more right to be here than i dot crime and punishment 382 of 967 but I am NOT a father confessor I shall come and go away I've plenty to do besides looking after them one thing worries me interposed resumed Ian frowning on the way home I talked a lot of drunken nonsense to him all sorts of things and amongst them that you were afraid that he might become insane you told the ladies so too I know it was stupid you may beat me if you like you think so seriously nonsense I tell you how could I think it seriously you yourself described him as a monomaniac when you fetched me to him and we added fuel to the fire yesterday you did that is with your story about the painter it was a nice conversation when he was perhaps mad on that very point if only I'd known what happened then at the police station in that some wretch had insulted him with his suspicions um I would not have allowed that conversation yesterday these mono maniacs will make a mountain out of a molehill and see their fancies as solid realities as far as I remember it was zametov story that cleared up half the mystery to my mind why I know one case in which a hypochondriac a man of 40 cut the throat of a little boy of eight because crime and punishment 383 of 967 he couldn't endure the jokes he made every day a table and in this case his rags the insolent police officer the fever and this suspicion all that working upon a man half frantic with hypochondria and with his morbid exceptional vanity that may well have been the starting point of illness well bother it all and by the zametov certainly is a nice fellow but him he shouldn't have told all that last night he is an awful chatterbox did he tell it to you and me and porphyry what does that matter and by the have you any influence on them his mother and sister tell them to be more careful with him today they'll get on all right Rossum Ian answered reluctantly why is he so set against this lesson a man with money and she doesn't seem to dislike him and they have into farthing I suppose but what business is it of yours Rossum Ian cried with annoyance how can I tell whether they've a farthing ask them yourself and perhaps you will find out crime and punishment 384 of nine hundred and sixty-seven fou what an ass you are sometimes last night's wine has not gone off yet goodbye thank your praskovya Pavlovna from me for my nights lodging she locked herself in made no reply to my Bonjour through the door she was up at 7 o'clock the samovar was taken into her from the kitchen I was not vouchsafed a personal interview at 9 o'clock precisely razumihin reached the lodgings at Baker if's house both ladies were waiting for him with nervous impatience they had risen at 7 o'clock or earlier he entered looking as black as night bowed awkwardly and was at once furious with himself for it he had reckoned without his host pulcheria alexandrovna fairly rushed at him seized him by both hands and was almost kissing them he glanced timidly out of dhoti romanovna but her proud countenance wore at that moment an expression of such gratitude and friendliness such complete and unlooked-for respect in place of the sneering looks an ill disguised contempt he had expected that it threw him into greater confusion than if he had been met with abuse fortunately there was a subject for conversation and he made haste to snatch it crime and punishment 385 of 967 hearing that everything was going well and that Rodya had not yet waked pulcheria alexandrovna declared that she was glad to hear it because she had something which it was very very necessary to talk over beforehand then followed an inquiry about breakfast in an invitation to have it with them they had waited to have it with him after romanovna rang the bell it was answered by a ragged dirty waiter and they asked him to bring tea which was served at last but in such a dirty and disorderly way that the ladies were ashamed resumed Ian vigorously attacked the lodgings but remembering lesson stopped in embarrassment and was greatly relieved by pulcheria alexandrovna squid showered in a continual stream upon him he talked for three-quarters of an hour being constantly interrupted by their questions and succeeded in describing to them all the most important facts he knew of the last year of Raskolnikov's life concluding with a circumstantial account of his illness he omitted however many things which were better omitted including the scene at the police station with all its consequences they listened eagerly to his story and when he thought he had finished and satisfied his listeners he found that they considered he had hardly begun crime and punishment 386 of nine hundred and sixty-seven tell me tell me what do you think excuse me I still don't know your name pulcheria alexandrovna put in hastily dmitri prokofitch i should like very very much to know dmitri prokofitch how he looks on things in general now that is how can i explain what are his likes and dislikes is he always so irritable tell me if you can what are his hopes end so to say his dreams under what influences is he now in a word I should like ah mother how can he answer all that at once observed Dania good heavens I had not expected to find him in the least like this dmitri prokofitch naturally answered resumed ian i have no mother but my uncle comes every year in almost every time he can scarcely recognize me even in appearance though he is a clever man and your three years separation means a great deal what am I to tell you I have known Rodion for a year and a half he is morose gloomy proud and haughty and of late and perhaps for a long time before he has been suspicious and fanciful he has a noble nature in a kind heart he does not like showing his feelings and would rather do a cruel thing than open crime and punishment 387 of 967 his heart freely sometimes though he is not at all morbid but simply cold an inhumanly callous it's as though he were alternating between two characters sometimes he is fearfully reserved he says he is so busy that everything is a hindrance and yet he lies in bed doing nothing he doesn't jeer at things not because he hasn't the wit but as though he hadn't time to waste on such trifles he never listens to what is said to him he is never interested in what interests other people at any given moment he thinks very highly of himself and perhaps he is right well what more I think your arrival will have a most beneficial influence upon him God granted me cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna distressed by resumed IANS account of Herodias and resumed ian ventured to look more boldly at f dou TR romanovna at last he glanced at her often while he was talking but only for a moment and looked away again at once if dou TR romanovna sat at the table listening attentively then got up again and began walking to and fro with her arms folded in her lips compressed occasionally putting in a question without stopping her walk she had the same habit of not listening to what was said she was wearing a dress of thin dark stuff and she had a white transparent scarf around her neck Rosa Mian soon crime and punishment 388 of 967 detected signs of extreme poverty in their belongings head of Toto Roman open have been dressed like a queen he felt that he would not be afraid of her but perhaps just because she was poorly dressed and that he noticed all the misery of her surroundings his heart was filled with dread and he began to be afraid of every word he uttered every gesture he made which was very trying for a man who already felt diffident you've told us a great deal that is interesting about my brother's character and have told it in partially I am glad that you were to uncritically devoted to him observed if dhoti are romanovna with a smile I think you are right that he needs a woman's care she added thoughtfully I didn't say so but I dare say you are right only what he loves no one and perhaps he never will resume Ian's declared decisively you mean he is not capable of love do you know if dhoti romanovna you are awfully like your brother in everything indeed he blurted out suddenly to his own surprise but remembering at once what he had just before said of her brother he turned as red as a crab and was overcome with confusion of dodea crime and punishment 389 of 967 romanovna couldn't help laughing when she looked at him you may both be mistaken about Rodya pulcheria alexandrovna remarked slightly piqued I am NOT talking of our present difficulty dona what Pyatt her petrovich writes in this letter in what you and I have supposed may be mistaken but you can't imagine dmitri prokofitch how moody and so to say capricious he is could depend on what he would do when he was only 15 and I am sure that he might do something now that nobody else would think of doing well for instance do you know how a year and a half ago he astounded me and gave me a shock that nearly killed me when he had the idea of marrying that girl what was her name his landlady's daughter did you hear about that affair asked of Dodie romanovna do you suppose pulcheria alexandrovna continued warmly do you suppose that my tears my entreaties my illness my possible death from grief our poverty would have made him pause no he would calmly have disregarded all obstacles and yet it isn't that he doesn't love us Crime and Punishment 390 of 967 he has never spoken a word of that affair to me razumihin answered cautiously but I did hear something from praskovya Pavlovna herself though she is by no means a gossip and what I heard certainly was rather strange and what did you hear both the ladies asked at once well nothing very special I only learned that the marriage which only failed to take place through the girl's death was not at all to praskovya Pavlovna slacking they say to the girl was not at all pretty in fact I am told positively ugly and such an invalid and queer but she seems to have had some good qualities she must have had some good qualities or it's quite inexplicable she had no money either and he wouldn't have considered her money but it's always difficult to judge in such matters I am sure she was a good girl after romanovna observed briefly God forgive me I simply rejoiced at her death though I don't know which of them would have caused most misery to the other he to her oh are she to him Pulcheria Alexandrovna concluded then she began tentatively questioning him about the scene on the previous day with lesson hesitating and continually Crime and Punishment 391 of 967 glancing at Danya obviously to the latter's annoyance this incident more than all the rest evidently caused her uneasiness even consternation resumed Ian described it in detail again but this time he added his own conclusions he openly blamed Raskolnikov for intentionally insulting Pyatt her Petrovich not seeking to excuse him on the score of his illness he had planned it before his illness he added I think so too pulcheria alexandrovna agreed with a dejected air but she was very much surprised at hearing resumen express himself so carefully and even with a certain respect about Pyatt or Petrovich of Totti romanovna too was struck by it so this is your opinion of piety Petrovich pulcheria alexandrovna could not resist asking can have no other opinion of your daughter's future husband resume Ian's answered firmly and with warmth and I don't say it's simply from vulgar politeness but because simply because of dhoti are romanovna has of her own free will deign to accept this man if I spoke so rudely of him last night it was because I was disgustingly drunk and mad besides yes mad crazy I lost my head completely and this morning I am ashamed of it crime and punishment 392 of 967 he crimsoned and ceased speaking after romanovna flushed but did not break the silence she had not uttered a word from the moment they began to speak of lesson without her support pulcheria alexandrovna obviously did not know what to do at last faltering and continually glancing at her daughter she confessed that she was exceedingly worried by one circumstance you see dmitri prokofitch she began I'll be perfectly open with dmitri prokofitch dona of course mother said if dhoti romanovna emphatically this is what it is she began in haste as though the permission to speak of her trouble lifted awake off her mind very early this morning we got a note from Pyatt or Petrovich in reply to our letter announcing our arrival he promised to meet us at the station you know instead of that he sent a servant to bring us the address of these lodgings and to show us the way and he sent a message that he would be here himself this morning but this morning this note came from him you'd better read it yourself there is one point in it which worries me very much you will soon see what that is and tell me your candid opinion dmitri prokofitch you know crime and punishment 393 of 967 rodia's character better than anyone and no one can advise us better than you can Danya I must tell you made her decision at once but I still don't feel sure how to act and I I've been waiting for your opinion resume e'en opened the note which was dated the previous evening and read as follows dear madam pulcheria alexandrovna i have the honour to inform you that going to unforeseen obstacles I was rendered unable to meet you at the railway station I sent a very competent person with the same object in view I likewise shall be deprived of the honour of an interview with you tomorrow morning by business in the Senate that does not admit of delay and also that I may not intrude on your family circle while you are meeting your son and if dhoti are romanovna her brother I shall have the honour of visiting you and paying you my respects at your lodgings not later than tomorrow evening at eight o'clock precisely and herewith I venture to present my earnest end I may add imperative request that rodion romanovitch may not be present at our interview as he offered me a gross end Crime and Punishment 394 of 967 unprecedented affront on the occasion of my visit to him in his illness yesterday and moreover since I desire from you personally an indispensable and circumstantial explanation upon a certain point in regard to which I wish to learn your own interpretation I have the honour to inform you in anticipation that if in spite of my request I meet rodion romanovitch I shall be compelled to withdraw immediately and then you have only yourself to blame I write on the assumption that rodion romanovitch who appeared so ill at my visit suddenly recovered two hours later and being able to leave the house may visit you also I was confirmed in that belief by the testimony of my own eyes in the lodging of a drunken man who was run over and has since died – whose daughter a young woman of notorious behavior he gave 25 rubles on the pretext of the funeral which gravely surprised me knowing what pains you were at to raise that sum here with expressing my special respect to your estimable daughter of DoDEA romanovna I beg you to accept the respectful homage of crime and punishment 395 of nine hundred and sixty-seven your humble servant feliz hen my to do now dmitri prokofitch began pulcheria alexandrovna almost weeping how can I ask Rodya not to come yesterday he insisted so earnestly on our refusing Pyatt or Petrovich and now we are ordered not to receive Rodya he will come on purpose if he knows and what will happen then act on if dhoti are romanovna decision resumed ian answered calmly at once oh dear me she says goodness knows what she says she doesn't explain her object she says that it would be best at least not that it would be best but that it's absolutely necessary that Rodya should make a point of being here at 8 o'clock and that they must meet I didn't want even to show him the letter but to prevent him from coming by some stratagem with your help because he is so irritable besides I don't understand about that drunkard who died and that daughter and how he could have given the daughter all the money which which cost you such sacrifice mother put enough dhoti romanovna crime and punishment 396 of 967 he was not himself yesterday resumed Ian said thoughtfully if you only knew what he was up to in a restaurant yesterday though there was sense in it to him he did say something as we were going home yesterday evening about a dead man in a girl but I didn't understand a word but last night I myself the best thing mother will be for us to go to him ourselves and there I assure you we shall see it once what's to be done besides it's getting late good heavens it's past 10:00 she cried looking at a splendid gold enameled watch which hung round her neck on a thin Venetian chain and looked entirely out of keeping with the rest of her dress a present from her fiance thought resumen we must start down iya we must start her mother cried in a flutter he will be thinking we are still angry after yesterday from our coming so late merciful heavens while she said this she was hurriedly putting on her hat and mantle Danya to put on her things her gloves as resumee unnoticed were not merely shabby but had holes in them and yet this evident poverty gave the two ladies an air of special dignity which is always found in people who know how to wear poor clothes resumed Ian looked reverently at Danya and felt proud of escorting her they crime and punishment 397 of 967 queen who mended her stockings in prison he thought must have looked in every inch a queen and even more a queen than at sumptuous banquets and levies my god exclaimed pulcheria alexandrovna little did I think that I should ever fear seeing my son my darling darling Rodya I am afraid dmitri prokofitch she added glancing at him timidly don't be afraid mother said dona kissing her better have faith in him oh dear I have faith in him but I haven't slept all night exclaimed the poor woman out into the street do you know Danya when I dozed a little this morning I dreamed of Marfa Petrovna she was all in white she came up to me took my hand and shook her head at me but so sternly as though she were blaming me is that a good omen Oh dear me you don't know dmitri prokofitch petrovin is dead no i didn't know who is marfa petrovna died suddenly and only fancy afterwards mama puttin down eeeh he doesn't know who marfa petrovna is ah you don't know and I was thinking that you knew all about us forgive me dmitri prokofitch I don't crime and punishment 398 of 967 know what I am thinking about these last few days I look upon you really as a Providence for us and so I took it for granted that you knew all about us I look on you as a relation don't be angry with me for saying so dear me what's the matter with your right hand have you knocked it yes I bruised it muttered resumed Ian overjoyed sometimes speak too much from the heart so that dhaniya finds fault with me but dear me what a covered he lives in wonder whether he is awake does this woman his landlady consider it a room listen you say he does not like to show his feelings so perhaps I shall annoy him with my weaknesses do advise me dmitri prokofitch how am I to treat him I feel quite distracted you know don't question him too much about anything if you see him frown don't ask him too much about his health he doesn't like that ah dmitri prokofitch how hard it is to be a mother but here are the stairs what an awful staircase mother you are quite pale don't distress yourself darling said dhaniya caressing her then with flashing eyes she added he ought to be happy at seeing you and you are tormenting yourself so crime and punishment 399 of 967 wait I'll peep in and see whether he has waked up the ladies slowly followed resumed in who went on before and when they reached the landlady's door on the fourth storey they noticed that her door was a tiny crack open and that too keen black eyes were watching them from the darkness within when their eyes met the door was suddenly shut with such a slam that pulcheria alexandrovna almost cried out crime and punishment for hundred of 967 chapter three he is well quite well zossimov cried cheerfully as they entered he had come in ten minutes earlier and was sitting in the same place as before on the sofa Raskolnikov was sitting in the opposite corner fully dressed and carefully washed and combed as he had not been for some time past the room was immediately crowded yet nastusya managed to follow the visitors in and stayed to listen Raskolnikov really was almost well as compared with his condition the day before but he was still pale listless and sombre he looked like a wounded man or one who has undergone some terrible physical suffering his brows were knitted his lips compressed his eyes feverish he spoke little and reluctantly as though performing a duty and there was a restlessness in his movements he only wanted a sling on his arm or a bandage on his finger to complete the impression of a man with a painful abscess or a broken arm the pale somber face lighted up for a moment when his mother and sister entered but this only gave it a look of more intense suffering in place of its listless dejection the light soon died away but the look Crime and Punishment 401 of 967 of suffering remained and zossimov watching and studying his patient with all the zest of a young doctor beginning to practice noticed in him no joy at the arrival of his mother and sister but a sort of bitter hidden determination to bear another hour or two of inevitable torture he saw later that almost every word of the following conversation seemed to touch on some sort place and irritate it but at the same time he marveled at the power of controlling himself in hiding his feelings in a patient who the previous day had like a monomaniac fallen into a frenzy at the slightest word yes I see myself now that I am almost well said Raskolnikov giving his mother and sister a kiss of welcome which made pulcheria alexandrovna radiant at once and I don't say this as I did yesterday he said addressing resumed in with a friendly pressure of his hand yes indeed I am quite surprised at him today began zossimov much delighted at the ladies entrance for he had not succeeded in keeping up a conversation with his patient for ten minutes in another three or four days if he goes on like this he will be just as before that is as he was a month ago or two or perhaps even three this has been coming on for a long while now crime and punishment 400 and 967 and perhaps your own fault he added with a tentative smile as though still afraid of irritating him it is very possible answered Raskolnikov coldly I should say to continued zossimov with zest that your complete recovery depends solely on yourself now that one can talk to you I should like to impress upon you that it is essential to avoid the elementary so to speak fundamental cause is tending to produce your morbid condition in that case you will be cured if not it will go from bad to worse these fundamental causes I don't know but they must be known to you you are an intelligent man and must have observed yourself of course I fancy the first stage of your derangement coincides with your leaving the university you must not be left without occupation and so work in a definite aim set before you might I fancy be very beneficial yes yes you are perfectly right I will make haste and return to the University and then everything will go smoothly zossimov who had begun his sage advice partly to make an effect before the ladies was certainly somewhat mystified when glancing at his patient he observed unmistakable mockery on his face this lasted an instant however pulcheria alexandrovna began at once thanking crime and punishment 403 of nine hundred and sixty-seven zossimov especially for his visit to their lodging the previous night what he saw you last night Raskolnikov asked as though startled then you have not slept either after your journey ACH Rodya that was only till two o'clock Danya and I never go to bed before two at home don't know how to thank him either Raskolnikov went on suddenly frowning and looking down setting aside the question of payment forgive me for referring to it he turned to zossimov I really don't know what I have done to deserve such special attention from you I simply don't understand it and and it weighs upon me indeed because I don't understand it I tell you so candidly don't be irritated zossimov forced himself to laugh assume that you are my first patient while we fellows just beginning to practice love our first patients as if they were our children and some almost fall in love with them and of course I am NOT rich in patience say nothing about him added Raskolnikov pointing to resume e'en though he has had nothing from me either but insult in trouble Crime and Punishment 404 of 967 What nonsense he is talking why you are in a sentimental mood today are you shouted resumen he had had more penetration he would have seen that there was no trace of sentimentality in him but something indeed quite the opposite but if dhoti are romanovna noticed it she was intently and uneasily watching her brother as for you mother I don't dare to speak he went on as though repeating a lesson learned by heart it is only today that I have been able to realize a little how distressed you must have been here yesterday waiting for me to come back when he had said this he suddenly held out his hand to his sister smiling without a word but in this smile there was a flash of real unfeigned feeling dhaniya caught it at once and warmly pressed his hand overjoyed and thankful it was the first time he had addressed her since their dispute the previous day the mother's face lighted up with ecstatic happiness at the sight of this conclusive unspoken reconciliation yes that is what I love him for resumen exaggerating it all muttered to himself with a vigorous turn in his chair he has these movements while he does it all the mother was thinking to herself what generous impulses he has and how crime and punishment 405 of 967 simply how delicately he put an end to all the misunderstanding with his sister simply by holding out his hand at the right minute and looking at her like that and what fine eyes he has and how fine his whole faces he is even better-looking than down eeeh but good heavens what a suit how terribly he's dressed Vasia the messenger boy in FNAC Ivanych his shop is better dressed could rush at him and hug him weep over him but I am afraid oh dear he's so strange he's talking kindly but I'm afraid why what am I afraid of Oh Rodya you wouldn't believe she began suddenly in haste to answer his words to her how unhappy Dania and I were yesterday now that it's all over and done with and we are quite happy again I can tell you fancy we ran here almost straight from the Train to embrace you in that woman ah here she is good morning nastusya she told us at once that you were lying in a high fever and had just ran away from the doctor in delirium and they were looking for you in the streets you can't imagine how we felt I couldn't help thinking of the tragic end of lieutenant put in kick off a friend of your father's you can't remember him Rodya who ran out in the same way in a high fever end Crime and Punishment 406 of 967 fell into the well in the courtyard and they couldn't pull him out till next day of course we exaggerated things we were on the point of rushing to find Peter Petrovich to ask him to help because we were alone utterly alone she said plaintively and stopped short suddenly recollecting it was still somewhat dangerous to speak of Pyatt her Petrovich although we are quite happy again yes yes of course it's very annoying Raskolnikov muttered in reply but with such a preoccupied and inattentive air that dhaniya gazed at him in perplexity what else was it I wanted to say he went on trying to recollect oh yes mother and you too Danya please don't think that I didn't mean to come and see you today and was waiting for you to come first what are you saying Rodya cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna she too was surprised is he answering us as a duty Danya wondered is he being reconciled and asking forgiveness as though he were performing a rite or repeating a lesson I've only just waked up and wanted to go to you but was delayed going to my clothes I forgot yesterday to ask her nastusya to wash out the blood I've only just dressed crime and punishment 407 of 967 blood what blood pulcheria alexandrovna asked an alarm oh nothing don't be uneasy it was when I was wandering about yesterday rather delirious I chanced upon a man who had been run over a clerk delirious but you remember everything resumed Ian interrupted that's true Raskolnikov answered with special carefulness I remember everything even to the slightest detail and yet why I did that and went there and said that I can't clearly explain now a familiar phenomenon interposed Sasa move actions are sometimes performed in a masterly and most cunning way while the direction of the actions is deranged independent on various morbid impressions it's like a dream perhaps it's a good thing really that he should thank me almost a madman thought Raskolnikov why people in perfect health act in the same way to observed dhaniya looking uneasily at zossimov there is some truth in your observation the latter replied in that sense we are certainly all not infrequently like madmen but with the slight difference that the deranged are somewhat matter for we must draw a line crime and punishment 408 of nine hundred and sixty-seven a normal man it is true hardly exists among dozens perhaps hundreds of thousands hardly one is to be met with at the word madman carelessly dropped by his awesome move in his chatter on his favorite subject everyone frowned brass conic offset seeming not to pay attention plunged in thought with a strange smile on his pale lips he was still meditating on something well what about the man who was run over interrupted you razumihin cried hastily what seemed to wake up oh I got spattered with blood helping to carry him to his lodging by the way mama I did an unpardonable thing yesterday I was literally out of my mind I gave away all the money you sent me to his wife for the funeral she's a widow now in consumption a poor creature three little children starving nothing in the house there's a daughter too perhaps you'd have given it yourself if you'd seen them but I had no right to do it I admit especially as I knew how you needed the money yourself to help others one must have the right to do it or else crave a chiens si vous and it's pas contents he laughed that's right isn't it Dona no it's not answered dhaniya firmly crime and punishment 409 967 bah you two have ideals he muttered looking at her almost with hatred and smiling sarcastically to have considered that well that's praiseworthy and it's better for you and if you reach a line you won't overstep you will be unhappy and if you overstep it maybe you will be still unhappy err but all that's nonsense he added irritably vexed at being carried away I only meant to say that I beg your forgiveness mother he concluded shortly and abruptly that's enough Rodya I am sure that everything you do is very good said his mother delighted don't be too sure he answered twisting his mouth into a smile a silence followed there was a certain constraint in all this conversation and in the silence and in the reconciliation and in the forgiveness and all were feeling it it is as though they were afraid of me Raskolnikov was thinking to himself looking askance at his mother and sister Pulcheria Alexandrovna was indeed growing more timid the longer she kept silent yet in their absence I seemed to love them so much flashed through his mind Crime and Punishment 410 of 967 do you know Rodya Marfa Petrovna is dead Pulcheria Alexandrovna suddenly blurted out what Marfa Petrovna Oh mercy on us Marfa Petrovna svidrigaïlov I wrote you so much about her aah I remember so she's dead oh really he roused himself suddenly as if waking up she died of only imagine quite suddenly pulcheria alexandrovna answered hurriedly encouraged by his curiosity on the very day I was sending you that letter would you believe it that awful man seems to have been the cause of her death they say he beat her dreadfully why were they on such bad terms he asked addressing his sister not at all the contrary indeed with her he was always very patient considerate even in fact although seven years of their married life he gave way to her too much so indeed in many cases all of a sudden he seems to have lost patience then he could not have been so awful if he controlled himself for seven years you seem to be defending him Danya crime and punishment 411 of nine hundred and sixty-seven no no he's an awful man I can imagine nothing more awful dhaniya answered almost with a shudder knitting her brows and sinking into thought had happened in the morning pulcheria alexandrovna went on hurriedly and directly afterwards she ordered the horses to be harnessed to drive to the town immediately after dinner she always used to drive to the town in such cases she ate a very good dinner I am told after the beating that was always her habit and immediately after dinner so is not to be late in starting she went to the bathhouse you see she was undergoing some treatment with beth's they have a cold spring there and she used to bathe in it regularly every day and no sooner had she got into the water when she suddenly had a stroke I should think so said zossimov and did he beat her badly what does that matter puttin down eeeh hum don't know why you want to tell us such gossip mother said Raskolnikov irritably as it were in spite of himself crime and punishment 412 of 967 ah my dear I don't know what to talk about broke from pulcheria alexandrovna why are you all afraid of me he asked with a constrained smile that's certainly true said Dania looking directly and sternly at her brother mother was crossing herself with terror as she came up the stairs his face worked as though in convulsion ACH what are you saying dona don't be angry please Rodya why did you say that dona pulcheria alexandrovna began overwhelmed you see coming here I was dreaming all the way in the Train how we should meet how we should talk over everything together and I was so happy I did not notice the journey but what am I saying happy now you should not Danya happy now simply in seeing you Rodya hush mother he muttered in confusion not looking at her but pressing her hand we shall have time to speak freely of everything as he said this he was suddenly overwhelmed with confusion and turned pale again that awful sensation he had known of late past with deadly chill over his soul again it became suddenly plane and perceptible to him crime and punishment 413 of 967 that he had just told a fearful lie that he would never now be able to speak freely of everything that he would never again be able to speak of anything to anyone the anguish of this thought was such that for a moment he almost forgot himself he got up from his seat and not looking at anyone walked towards the door what are you about cried razumihin clutching him by the arm he sat down again and began looking about him in silence they were all looking at him in perplexity but what are you all so dull for he shouted suddenly and quite unexpectedly do say something what's the use of sitting like this come do speak let us talk we meet together and sit in silence come anything thank God I was afraid the same thing as yesterday was beginning again said pulcheria alexandrovna crossing herself what is the matter Rodya asked if dhoti romanovna distrustfully oh nothing i remembered something he answered and suddenly laughed well if you remembered something that's all right I was beginning to think muttered zossimov getting up from the sofa it is time for me to be off I will look in crime and punishment 414 of 967 again perhaps if I can he made his bows and went out what an excellent man observed pulcheria alexandrovna yes excellent splendid well educated intelligent Raskolnikov began suddenly speaking with surprising rapidity and a liveliness he had not shown till then I can't remember where I met him before my illness I believe I have met him somewhere this is a good man too he nodded at resume in do you like him Danya he asked her and suddenly for some unknown reason laughed very much answered dona foo what a pig you are resumed Ian protested blushing in terrible confusion and he got up from his chair pulcheria alexandrovna smiled faintly but Raskolnikov laughed aloud where are you off to I must go you need not at all stay zossimov has gone so you must don't go it's the time twelve O'Clock what a pretty watch you have got dhaniya but why are you all silent again I do all the talking crime and punishment 405 967 it was a present from marfa petrovna answered dona and a very expensive one added pulcheria alexandrovna aaaah what a big one hardly like a ladies I like that sort said Dona so it is not a present from her fiance thought resumed in and was unreasonably delighted I thought it was lessons present observed Raskolnikov no he has not made dona any presence yet aaaah and do you remember mother I was in love and wanted to get married he said suddenly looking at his mother who was disconcerted by the sudden change of subject in the way he spoke of it oh yes my dear pulcheria alexandrovna exchanged glances with Danya and resumed in home yes what shall I tell you I don't remember much indeed she was such a sickly girl he went on growing dreamy and looking down again quite an invalid she was fond of giving alms to the poor and was always dreaming of a nunnery and once she burst into tears when she began talking to me about it yes yes I crime and punishment 416 of 967 remember I remember very well she was an ugly little thing I really don't know what drew me to her then I think it was because she was always ill if she had been Lambie or hunchback I believe I should have liked her better still he smiled dreamily yes it was a sort of spring delirium no it was not only spring delirium said dhaniya with warm feeling he fixed a strained intent look on his sister but did not hear or did not understand her words then completely lost in thought he got up went up to his mother kissed her went back to his place and sat down you loved her even now said pulcheria alexandrovna touched her now yes you asked about her no that's all now as it were in another world and so long ago thing happening here seems somehow far away he looked attentively at them you now at you from a thousand miles away but goodness knows why we are talking of that and what's the use of asking about it he added with annoyance and biting his nails fell into dreamy silence again crime and punishment 417 of 967 what a wretched lodging you have Rodya like a tomb said pulcheria alexandrovna suddenly breaking the oppressive silence I am sure it's quite half through your lodging you have become so melancholy my lodging he answered listlessly yes the lodging had a great deal to do with it I thought that too if only you knew though what a strange thing you said just now mother he said laughing strangely a little more and their companionship this mother and this sister with him after three years absence this intimate tone of conversation in face of the utter impossibility of really speaking about anything would have been beyond his power of endurance but there was one urgent matter which must be settled one way or the other that day so he had decided when he woke now he was glad to remember it as a means of escape listen Danya he began gravely and drill II of course I beg your pardon for yesterday but I consider it my duty to tell you again that I do not withdraw from my chief point it is me or lessen if I am a scoundrel you must not be one is enough if you marry lusin I cease at once to look on you as a sister Rodya Rodya it is the same as yesterday again pulcheria alexandrovna cried mournfully and why do crime and punishment of 967 you call yourself a scoundrel I can't bear it you said the same yesterday brother Danya answered firmly and with the same dryness in all this there is a mistake on your part I thought it over at night and found out the mistake it is all because you seem to fancy I am sacrificing myself to someone and for someone that is not the case at all I am simply marrying for my own sake because things are hard for me though of course I shall be glad if I succeed in being useful to my family but that is not the chief motive for my decision she is lying he thought to himself biting his nails vindicated Li proud creature admit she wants to do it out of charity too haughty Oh base characters they even love as though they hate oh how I hate them all in fact continued Danya I am marrying Peter Petrovich because of two evils I choose the less I intend to do honestly all he expects of me so I am NOT deceiving him why did you smile just now she too flushed and there was a gleam of anger in her eyes all he asked with a malignant grin within certain limits both the men are in form of Pietra petrovitch's courtship showed me at once what he crime and punishment 419 of 967 wanted he may of course think – well of himself but I hope he esteems me – why are you laughing again and why are you blushing again you are lying sister you are intentionally lying simply from feminine obstinacy simply to hold your own against me you cannot respect lesson I have seen him and talked with him so you are selling yourself for money and so in any case you are acting basely and I am glad at least that you can blush for it it is not true I am not lying cried Dona losing her composure I would not marry him if I were not convinced that he esteems me and thinks highly of me I would not marry him if I were not firmly convinced that I can respect him fortunately I can have convincing proof of it this very day and such a marriage is not a vileness as you say and even if you were right if I really had determined on a vile action is it not merciless on your part to speak to me like that why do you demand of me a heroism that perhaps you have not either it is despotism it is tyranny if I ruin anyone it is only myself I am not committing a murder why do you look at me like that why are you so pale Rodya darling what's the matter crime and punishment 420 of 967 good heavens you have made him faint cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna no no nonsense it's nothing not fainting you have fainting on the brain hum yes what was I saying yes convincing proof today that you can respect him and that he esteems you as you said I think you said today mother showrodeo pie at her petrovitch's letter said dona with trembling hands pulcheria alexandrovna gave him the letter he took it with great interest but before opening it he suddenly looked with a sort of wonder at Dona it is strange he said slowly as though struck by a new idea what am I making such a fuss for what is it all about marry whom you like said this as though to himself but said it aloud and looked for some time at his sister as though puzzled he opened the letter at last still with the same look of strange wonder on his face then slowly and attentively he began reading and read it through twice pulcheria alexandrovna showed marked anxiety and all indeed expected something particular crime and punishment 421 of 967 what surprises me he began after a short pause handing the letter to his mother but not addressing anyone in particular is that he is a businessman a lawyer and his conversation is pretentious indeed and yet he writes such an uneducated letter they all started they had expected something quite different but they all write like that you know resume e'en observed abruptly have you read it yes we showed him Rodya we consulted him just now Pulcheria Alexandrovna began embarrassed that's just the jargon of the courts resume e'en put in legal documents are written like that to this day legal it's just legal business language not so very uneducated and not quite educated business language pioneer Petrovich makes no secret of the fact that he had a cheap education he is proud indeed of having made his own way of dhoti romanovna observed somewhat offended by her brothers tone well if he's proud of it he has reason I don't deny it you seem to be offended sister at my making only such a crime and punishment 422 of 967 frivolous criticism on the letter and to think that I speak of such trifling matters on purpose to annoy you it is quite the contrary an observation apropos of the style occurred to me that is by no means irrelevant as things stand there is one expression blame yourselves put in very significantly and plainly and there is besides a threat that he will go away at once if I am present that threat to go away is equivalent to a threat to abandon you both if you are disobedient and to abandon you now after summoning you to petersburg well what do you think can one resent such an expression from lesson as we should if he he pointed to resume in had written it or is awesome move or one of us and no answered dhaniya with more animation I saw clearly that it was too naively expressed and that perhaps he simply has no skill in writing that is a true criticism brother I did not expect indeed it is expressed in legal style and sounds coarser than perhaps he intended but I must disillusion you a little is one expression in the letter 1 slander about me and rather a contemptible one I gave the money last night to the widow a woman in consumption crushed with treble and not on the pretext of the funeral but simply to pay for the funeral and not to the daughter a crime and punishment 423 of 967 young woman as he writes of notorious behavior whom I saw last night for the first time in my life but to the widow in all this I see a too hasty desire to slander me and to raise dissension between us it is expressed again in legal jargon that is to say with a too obvious display of the aim and with a very naive eagerness he is a man of intelligence but to act sensibly intelligence is not enough it all shows the man end I don't think he has a great esteem for you I tell you this simply to warn you because I sincerely wish for your good dhaniya did not reply her resolution had been taken she was only awaiting the evening then what is your decision Rodya asked pulcheria alexandrovna who was more uneasy than ever at the sudden new businesslike tone of his talk what decision you see Pyatt her Petrovich writes that you are not to be with us this evening and that he will go away if you come so will you come that of course is not for me to decide but for you first if you are not offended by such a request and secondly by dawnia if she too is not offended you think best he added drill crime and punishment 424 of 967 dhaniya has already decided and I fully agree with her Pulcheria Alexandrovna hasten to declare I decided to ask you Rodya to urge you not to fail to be with us at this interview said dona will you come yes I will ask you to to be with us at 8 o'clock she said addressing resume in mother I am inviting him to Danya well since you have decided added pulcheria alexandrovna so be it I shall feel easier myself I do not like concealment and deception better let us have the whole truth pyat er petrovich may be angry or not now crime and punishment 425 of 967 chapter 4 at that moment the door was softly opened and a young girl walked into the room looking timidly about her everyone turned towards her with surprise and curiosity at first sight Raskolnikov did not recognize her it was Sofia semyonovna Marmeladov he had seen her yesterday for the first time but at such a moment in such surroundings and in such a dress that his memory retained a very different image of her now she was a modestly and poorly dressed young girl very young indeed almost like a child with the modest and refined manner with a candid but somewhat frightened looking face she was wearing a very plain indoor dress and had on a shabby old-fashioned hat but she still carried a parasol unexpectedly finding the room full of people she was not so much embarrassed as completely overwhelmed with shyness like a little child she was even about to retreat oh it's you said Raskolnikov extremely astonished and he too was confused once recollected that his mother and sister knew through lessons letter of some young woman of notorious behavior he had only just been protesting against lessons calumny and declaring that he crime and punishment 426 of 967 had seen the girl last night for the first time and suddenly she had walked in he remembered too that he had not protested against the expression of notorious behavior all this passed vaguely and fleetingly through his brain but looking at her more intently he saw that the humiliated creature was so humiliated that he felt suddenly sorry for her when she made a movement to retreat in terror it sent a pang to his heart I did not expect you he said hurriedly with a look that made her stop please sit down you come no doubt from Ivanovna allow me not there sit here at Sonia's entrance resume in who had been sitting on one of Raskin Oh coughs three chairs close to the door got up to allow her to enter Raskolnikov had at first shown her the place on the sofa where zossimov had been sitting but feeling that the sofa which served him as a bed was too familiar place he heard Lee motioned her to resume IANS chair you sit here he said to resume e'en putting him on the sofa Sonia sat down almost shaking with terror and looked timidly at the two ladies it was evidently almost inconceivable to herself that she could sit down beside Crime and Punishment 427 of 967 them at the thought of it she was so frightened that she hurriedly got up again and in utter confusion addressed Raskolnikov I have come for one minute forgive me for disturbing you she began falteringly from katerina ivanovna and she had no one to send katerina ivanovna told me to beg you to be at the service in the morning at my trough oniy of sky and then to us to her to do her the honor she told me to beg you Sonya stammered and ceased speaking I will try certainly most certainly answered Raskolnikov he too stood up and he too faltered and could not finish his sentence please sit down he said suddenly want to talk to you you are perhaps in a hurry but please be so kind spare me two minutes and he drew up a chair for her Sonia sat down again and again timidly she took a hurried frightened look at the two ladies and dropped her eyes brass Khanna coughs pale face flushed a shudder passed over him his eyes glowed mother he said firmly and insistently this is Sofya semyonovna Marmeladov the daughter of that unfortunate mr. Marmeladov who was run over yesterday before my eyes and of whom I was just telling you Crime and Punishment 428 of 967 pulcheria alexandrovna glanced at Sonia and slightly screwed up her eyes in spite of her embarrassment before rodia's urgent and challenging look she could not deny herself that satisfaction downy agaist gravely and intently into the poor girl's face and scrutinized her with perplexity Sonia hearing herself introduced tried to raise her eyes again but was more embarrassed than ever I wanted to ask you said Raskolnikov hastily how things were arranged yesterday you were not worried by the police for instance no that was all right it was too evident the cause of death they did not worry us only the lodgers are angry why at the body's remaining so long is hot now so that today they will carry it to the cemetery into the chapel until tomorrow at first Katerina Ivanovna was unwilling but now she sees herself that it's necessary today then she begs you to do us the honor to be in the church tomorrow for the service and then to be present at the funeral lunch she is giving a funeral lunch crime and punishment 429 of 967 yes just a little she told me to thank you very much for helping us yesterday but for you we should have had nothing for the funeral all at once her lips and chin began trembling but with an effort she controlled herself looking down again during the conversation Raskolnikov watched her carefully she had a thin very thin pale little face rather irregular and angular with the sharp little nose and chin she could not have been called pretty but her blue eyes were so clear and when they lighted up there was such a kind leanness and simplicity in her expression that one could not help being attracted her face and her whole figure indeed had another peculiar characteristic in spite of her 18 years she looked almost a little girl almost a child and in some of her gestures this childishness seemed almost absurd but has Katerina Ivanovna been able to manage with such small means does she even mean to have a funeral lunch Raskolnikov asked persistently keeping up the conversation the coffin will be plain of course and everything will be plain so it won't cost much katerina ivanovna and I have reckoned it all out so that there will be enough left and Katerina Ivanovna was very anxious it should crime and punishment 430 of 967 be so you know one can't it's a comfort to her she is like that you know I understand I understand of course why do you look at my room like that my mother has just said it is like a tomb you gave us everything yesterday Sonia said suddenly in reply in a loud rapid whisper and again she looked down in confusion her lips and chin were trembling once more she had been struck at once by Raskin aah coughs poor surroundings and now these words broke out spontaneously a silence followed there was a light in down his eyes and even pulcheria alexandrovna looked kindly at Sonia Rodya she said getting up we shall have dinner together of course come down eeeh and you Rodya had better go for a little walk and then rest and lie down before you come to see us I am afraid we have exhausted you yes yes I'll come he answered getting up fussily but I have something to see too but surely you will have dinner together cried resumed in looking in surprise at Raskolnikov what do you mean Crime and Punishment 431 of 967 yes yes I am coming of course of course and you stay a minute you do not want him just now do you mother I'm taking him from you oh no no and will you dmitri prokofitch do us the favor of dining with us please do added dawnia resumed and bowed positively radiant for one moment they were all strangely embarrassed goodbye Rodya that is till we meet I do not like saying goodbye goodbye nastusya ah I have said by again pulcheria alexandrovna meant to greet Sonia too but it somehow failed to come off and she went in a flutter out of the room but if dou TR romanovna seemed to await her turn and following her mother out gave Sonia an attentive courteous bow Sonia in confusion gave a hurried frightened curtsy there was a look of point of discomfort in her face as though of DoDEA romanovna skirt assay and attention were oppressive and painful to her Dona goodbye called Raskolnikov in the passage give me your hand give it to you have you forgotten said Dania turning warmly and awkwardly to him crime and punishment 432 of 967 never mind give it to me again and he squeezed her fingers warmly down ei smiled flushed pulled her hand away and went off quite happy come that's capital he said to Sonia going back and looking brightly at her God give peace to the dead the living have still to live that is right isn't it Sonia looked surprised at the sudden brightness of his face he looked at her for some moments in silence the whole history of the dead father floated before his memory in those moments heavens Dona pulcheria alexandrovna began as soon as they were in the street I really feel relieved myself at coming away more at ease how little did I think yesterday in the train that I could ever be glad of that I tell you again mother he is still very ill don't you see it perhaps worrying about us upset him we must be patient and much much can be forgiven well you were not very patient pulcheria alexandrovna caught her up hotly and jealously do you crime and punishment 433 of 967 no Dania I was looking at you too you are the very portrait of him and not so much in faces in Soul you are both melancholy both morose and hot impaired both haughty and both generous surely he can't be an egoist Danya what is in store for us this evening my heart sinks don't be uneasy mother what must be will be dhaniya only think what a position we are in if Peter Petrovich breaks it off poor pulcheria alexandrovna blurted out incautiously he won't be worth much if he does answered Anya sharply and contemptuously we did well to come away pulcheria alexandrovna hardly broke in he was in a hurry about some business or other if he gets out and has a breath of air it is fearfully closed in his room but where is one to get a breath of air here the very streets here feel like shutup rooms good heavens what a town this side they will crush you carrying something why it is a piano they have got I declare how they push I am very much afraid of that young woman – what young woman mother Sofya semyonovna who was there just now crime and punishment 434 of 967 why have a presentment Danya well you may believe it or not but as soon as she came in that very minute I felt that she was the chief cause of the trouble nothing of the sort cried Dona in vexation what nonsense with your presentiments mother he only made her acquaintance the evening before and he did not know her when she came in well you will see she worries me but you will see you will see I was so frightened she was gazing at me with those eyes I could scarcely sit still in my chair when he began introducing her do you remember it seems so strange but Pyatt her petrovich writes like that about her and he introduces her to us to you so he must think a great deal of her people will write anything we were talked about in written about – have you forgotten sure that she is a good girl and that it is all nonsense God granted maybe Petrovich is a contemptible slanderer dhaniya snapped out suddenly Pulcheria Alexandrovna was crushed the conversation was not resumed crime and punishment 435 of nine hundred and sixty-seven I will tell you what I want with you said Raskolnikov drawing resume into the window then I will tell Katerina Ivanovna that you are coming Sonya said hurriedly preparing to depart one minute Sofia semyonovna we have no secrets you are not in our way have another word or two with you listen he turned suddenly to resume Ian again you know that what's his name Porfiry Petrovich I should think so he is a relation why added the letter with interest is not he managing that case you know about that murder you were speaking about it yesterday well resume Ian's eyes opened wide he was inquiring for people who had pawned things and I have some pledges there – trifles a ring my sister gave me as a keepsake when I left home and my father's silver watch they are only worth five or six rubles altogether but I value them so what am I to do now I do not want to lose the things especially the watch I was quaking just now for fear mother would ask to look at it when we spoke of down his watch it is they Crime and Punishment 436 of 967 only thing of fathers left us she would be ill if it were lost you know what women are so tell me what to do I know I ought to have given notice at the police station but would it not be better to go straight to Porfiry what do you think the matter might be settled more quickly you see mother may ask for it before dinner certainly not to the police station certainly to Porfiry resumen shouted in extraordinary excitement well how glad I am let us go at once it is a couple of steps we shall be sure to find him very well let us go and he will be very very glad to make your acquaintance often talked to him of you at different times I was speaking of you yesterday let us go so you knew the old woman so that's it is all turning out splendidly oh yes Sofya Ivanovna Sofya semyonovna corrected Raskolnikov Sofya semyonovna this is my friend resumed in and he is a good man if you have to go now Sonia was beginning not looking at resume Ian at all and still more embarrassed let us go decided Raskolnikov I will come to you today Sofya semyonovna only tell me where you live crime and punishment 437 of 967 he was not exactly ill at ease but seemed hurried and avoided her eyes Sonia gave her address and flushed as she did so they all went out together don't you lock up asked resumed Ian following him onto the stairs never answered Raskolnikov I have been meaning to buy a lock for these two years people are happy who have no need of locks he said laughing to Sonia they stood still in the Gateway do you go to the right Sofya semyonovna how did you find me by the way he added as though he wanted to say something quite different he wanted to look at her soft clear eyes but this was not easy why you gave your address to polenka yesterday polenka oh yes polenka that is the little girl she is your sister did I give her the address why had you forgotten no I remember my father speak of you only I did not know your name and he did not know it and now I came and as I had learned your name I asked today where does mr. Raskin akov live I did not know you had only a room to goodbye I will tell Katerina Ivanovna Crime and Punishment 438 of 967 she was extremely glad to escape at last she went away looking down hurrying to get out of sight as soon as possible to walk the 20 steps to the turning on the right and to be at last alone and then moving rapidly along looking at no one noticing nothing to think to remember to meditate on every word every detail never never had she felt anything like this dimly and unconsciously a whole new world was opening before her she remembered suddenly that Raskolnikov meant to come to her that day perhaps at once only not today please not today she kept muttering with a sinking heart as though in treating someone like a frightened child mercy to me to that room he will see oh dear she was not capable at Instant of noticing an unknown gentleman who was watching her and following at her heels he had accompanied her from the Gateway at the moment when resumed Ian Raskolnikov and she stood still at parting on the pavement this gentleman who was just passing started on hearing Sonja's words and I asked where mr. Raskin akov lived he turned to rapid but attentive look upon all three especially upon Raskolnikov to whom Sonia was speaking then looked back and noted the house all this was done in an instant crime and punishment 439 of 967 as he passed and trying not to betray his interest he walked on more slowly as though waiting for something he was waiting for Sonia he saw that they were parting and that Sonia was going home home where I've seen that face somewhere he thought find out at the turning he crossed over looked round and saw Sonia coming the same way noticing nothing she turned the corner he followed her on the other side after about fifty paces he crossed over again overtook her and kept two or three yards behind her he was a man about fifty rather tall and thickly set with broad high shoulders which made him look as though he stooped a little he wore good in fashionable clothes and looked like a gentleman of position he carried a handsome cane which he tapped on the pavement at each step his gloves were spotless he had a broad rather pleasant face with high cheekbones in a fresh color not often seen in Petersburg his flaxen hair was still abundant and only touched here and there with gray and his thick square beard was even lighter than his hair his eyes were blue and had a cold and thoughtful look his lips were crimson he was a remark ly well-preserved man and looked much younger than his years Crime and Punishment four hundred and forty of nine hundred and sixty-seven when Sonia came out on the canal bank they were the only two persons on the pavement he observed her dream eNOS and preoccupation on reaching the house where she lodged Sonia turned in at the gate he followed her seeming rather surprised in the courtyard she turned to the right corner bah muttered the unknown gentleman and mounted the stairs behind her only then Sonia noticed him she reached the third storey turned down the passage and rang at number nine on the door was inscribed in chalk capernaum move tailor bah the stranger repeated again wondering at the strange coincidence and he rang next door at number eight the doors were two or three yards apart you Lodge at Capernaum moves he said looking at Sonia and laughing he altered a waistcoat for me yesterday I am staying close here at Madame restless how odd you looked at him attentively we are neighbors he went on gaily I only came to town the day before yesterday by for the present Sonia made no reply the door opened and she slipped in she felt for some reason ashamed and uneasy Crime and Punishment 441 of 967 on the way to Porfiry's resumed ian was obviously excited that's capital brother he repeated several times and I am glad I am glad what are you glad about Raskolnikov thought to himself know that you pledged things at the old woman's – and was it long ago I mean was it long since you were there simple hearted fool he is when was it cough stop still to recollect two or three days before her death it must have been but I am NOT going to redeem the things now he put in with a sort of hurried and conspicuous solicitude about the things I've not more than a silver ruble left after last night's accursed delirium he laid special emphasis on the delirium yes yes resumed Ian hastened to agree with what was not clear then that's why you were stuck partly you know in your delirium you were continually mentioning some rings or chains yes yes that's clear it's all clear now hello how that idea must have got about among them here this man will go to the stake for me and I find crime and punishment 442 of 967 him delighted at having it cleared up why I spoke of rings in my delirium what a hold the idea must have on all of them shall we find him he asked suddenly oh yes resumed Ian's answered quickly a nice fellow you will see brother rather clumsy that is to say he is a man of polished manners but I mean clumsy in a different sense he is an intelligent fellow very much so indeed but he has his own range of ideas he is incredulous sceptical cynical he likes to impose on people or rather to make fun of them his is the old circumstantial method but he understands his work thoroughly last year he cleared up a case of murder in which the police had hardly a clue he is very very anxious to make your acquaintance on what grounds is he so anxious oh it's not exactly you see since you've been ill I happened to have mentioned you several times so when he heard about you about your being a law student and not able to finish your studies he said what a pity and so I concluded from everything together not only that yesterday zametov you know Rodya i talked some nonsense on the way home to you yesterday when I was Crime and Punishment 443 of 967 drunk I am afraid brother of you're exaggerating it you see what that they think I am a madman maybe they are right he said with a constrained smile yes that is who know that I said and there was something else too it was all nonsense drunken nonsense but why are you apologizing so sick of it all Raskolnikov cried with exaggerated irritability it was partly assumed however I know I know I understand believe me I understand once ashamed to speak of it if you are ashamed then don't speak of it both were silent resumed Ian was more than ecstatic in Raskolnikov perceived it with repulsion he was alarmed to buy what resumed Ian had just said about Porfiry I shall have to pull a long face with him – he thought with a beating heart and he turned white and do it naturally – but the most natural thing would be to do nothing at all carefully do nothing at all no carefully would not be natural again oh well we shall see how it turns out we shall see directly is it a crime and punishment 444 of 967 good thing to go or not butterfly flies to the light my heart is beating that's what's in this gray house said resume Ian the most important thing does Porfiry know that I was at the old hags flat yesterday and asked about the blood I must find that out instantly as soon as I go in find out from his face otherwise I'll find out if it's my ruin I say brother he said suddenly addressing resumed in with a sly smile I have been noticing all day that you seemed to be curiously excited isn't it so excited not a bit of it said resume in stung to the quick yes brother I assure you it's noticeable why you set on your chair in a way you never do sit on the edge somehow and you seem to be writing all the time you kept jumping up for nothing one moment you were angry and the next year face looked like a sweetmeat you even blushed especially when you were invited to dinner you blushed awfully nothing of the sort nonsense what do you mean but why are you wriggling out of it like a schoolboy by Jove there he's blushing again what a pig you are Crime and Punishment 445 of 967 but why are you so shamefaced about it Romeo stay I'll tell of you today ha ha ha I'll make mother laugh and someone else to listen listen listen this is serious you fiend rasam ian was utterly overwhelmed turning cold with horror what will you tell them come brother foo what a pig you are you are like a summer rose and if only you knew how it suits you a Romeo over six foot high and how you've washed today you cleaned your nails I declare something unheard of I do believe you've got pomatum on your hair bent down Pig Raskolnikov laughed as though he could not restrain himself so laughing they entered Porfiry petrovitch's flat this is what Raskolnikov wanted from within they could be heard laughing as they came in still guffawing in the passage not a word here or I'll brain you resumed and whispered furiously seizing Raskolnikov by the shoulder Crime and Punishment 446 of nine hundred and sixty-seven chapter VIII Raskolnikov was already entering the room he came in looking as though he had the utmost difficulty not to burst out laughing again behind him resumed and strode in gawky and awkward shamefaced and read as a peony with an utterly crestfallen and ferocious expression his face and whole figure really were ridiculous at that moment an M plea justified raskin a coughs laughter Raskolnikov not waiting for an introduction bout to porfiry petrovitch who stood in the middle of the room looking inquiringly at them he held out his hand and shook hands still apparently making desperate efforts to subdue his mirth and utter a few words to introduce himself but he had no sooner succeeded in assuming a serious air and muttering something when he suddenly glanced again as though accidentally at resume e'en and could no longer control himself his stifled laughter broke out the more irresistible the more he tried to restrain it the extraordinary ferocity with which razumihin received this spontaneous mirth gave the whole scene the appearance of most genuine fun and naturalness resumed and strengthened this impression as though on purpose crime and punishment 447 of 967 fool you fiend he roared waving his arm which at once struck a little round table with an empty tea glass on it everything was sent flying and crashing but why break chairs gentlemen you know it's a loss to the crown Porfiry Petrovich quoted gaily Raskolnikov was still laughing with his hand in Porfiry petrovitch's but anxious not to overdo it awaited the right moment to put a natural end to it resumed in completely put to confusion by upsetting the table and smashing the glass gazed gloomily at the fragments cursed and turned sharply to the window where he stood looking out with his back to the company with a fiercely scowling countenance seeing nothing Porfiry Petrovich laughed and was ready to go on laughing but viously looked for explanations zametov had been sitting in the corner but he rose at the visitors entrance and was standing in expectation with a smile on his lips though he looked with surprise and even it seemed in credulity at the whole scene and at Raskolnikov with a certain embarrassment zametov unexpected presence struck Raskolnikov unpleasantly I've got to think of that he thought excuse me please he began affecting extreme embarrassment Raskolnikov crime and punishment 448 of 967 not at all very pleasant to see you and how pleasantly you've come in why won't he even say good morning Porfiry Petrovich nodded at resume in upon my honor I don't know why he is in such a rage with me I only told him as we came along that he was like romeo and proved it and that was all I think pig ejaculated resumen without turning round there must have been very grave grounds for it if he is so furious at the word Porfiry laughed oh you sharp lawyer damn you all snapped resume in and suddenly bursting out laughing himself he went up to Porfiry with a more cheerful face as though nothing had happened that'll do we are all fools to come to business rodion romanovitch raskolnikov in the first place he has heard of you and wants to make your acquaintance and secondly he has a little matter of business with you bah zametov what brought you here have you met before have you known each other long what does this mean thought Raskolnikov uneasily zametov seemed taken aback but not very much so why it was at your rooms we met yesterday he said easily Crime and Punishment 449 of 967 then I have been spared the trouble all last week he was begging me to introduce him to you Porfiry and you have sniffed each other out without me where is your tobacco Porfiry Petrovich was wearing a dressing-gown very clean linen and trodden down slippers he was a man of about five and thirty short stout even to corpulence and clean-shaven he wore his hair cut short and had a large round head particularly prominent at the back his soft round rather snub nosed face was of a sickly yellowish color but had a vigorous and rather ironical expression it would have been good natured except for a look in the eyes which shone with a watery mawkish light under almost white blinking eyelashes the expression of those eyes was strangely out of keeping with his somewhat womanish figure and gave it something far more serious than could be guessed at first sight as soon as porfiry petrovitch heard that his visitor had a little matter of business with him he begged him to sit down on the sofa and set down himself on the other end waiting for him to explain his business with that careful and over serious attention which is at once oppressive and embarrassing especially to a stranger and especially if what you are discussing is in your opinion of far too little crime and punishment 450 of 967 importance for such exceptional solemnity but in brief incoherent phrases Raskolnikov explained his business clearly and exactly and was so well satisfied with himself that he even succeeded in taking a good look at Porfiry Porfiry Petrovich did not once take his eyes off him resumed in sitting opposite at the same table listened warmly and impatiently looking from one to the other every moment with rather excessive interest fool Raskolnikov swore to himself you have to give information to the police Porfiry replied with the most businesslike air that having learned of this incident that is of the murder you beg to inform the lawyer in charge of the case that such and such things belong to you and that you desire to redeem them but they will write to you that's just the point that at the present moment Raskolnikov tried his utmost to feign embarrassment I am not quite in funds and even this trifling sum is beyond me I only wanted you see for the present to declare that the things are mine and that when I have money that's no matter answered porfiry petrovitch receiving his explanation of his pecuniary position coldly but you can if you prefer right straight to me to say Crime and Punishment 451 of nine hundred and sixty-seven having been informed of the matter and claiming such and such as your property you baked on an ordinary sheet of paper Raskolnikov interrupted eagerly again interested in the financial side of the question oh the most ordinary and suddenly Porfiry Petrovich looked with obvious irony at him screwing up his eyes and as it were winking at him but perhaps it was Raskin a coughs fancy for it all lasted but a moment there was certainly something of the sort Raskolnikov could have sworn he winked at him goodness knows why he knows flashed through his mind like lightning forgive my troubling you about such trifles he went on a little disconcerted the things are only worth 5 roubles but I prized them particularly for the sake of those from whom they came to me and I must confess that I was alarmed when I heard that's why you were so much struck when I mentioned tis awesome of that Porfiry was inquiring for everyone who had pledges resumed Ian put in with obvious intention crime and punishment 452 of 967 this was really unbearable Raskolnikov could not help glancing at him with a flash of vindictive anger in his black eyes but immediately recollected himself you seem to be jeering at me brother he said to him with a well feigned irritability I dare say I do seem to you absurdly anxious about such trash but you mustn't think me selfish or grasping for that and these two things may be anything but trash in my eyes I told you just now that the silver watch though it's not worth a cent is the only thing left us of my father's you may laugh at me but my mother is here he turned suddenly to Porfiry and if she knew he turned again hurriedly to resume Ian carefully making his voice tremble that the watch was lost she would be in despair you know what women are not a bit of it I didn't mean that at all quite the contrary shouted resumed and distressed was it right was it natural did I overdo it cough asked himself in a tremor why did I say that about women Oh your mother is with you Porfiry Petrovich inquired yes when did she come crime and punishment 453 of 967 last night Porfiry paused as though reflecting your things would not in any case be lost he went on calmly and coldly I have been expecting you here for some time and as though that was a matter of no importance he carefully offered the ashtray to resume Ian who was ruthlessly scattering cigarette ash over the carpet Raskolnikov shuddered but Porfiry did not seem to be looking at him and was still concerned with resume Ian's cigarette what expecting him why did you know that he had pledges there cried resumed in Porfiry Petrovich addressed himself to Raskolnikov your things the ring and the watch were wrapped up together and on the paper your name was legibly written in pencil together with the date on which he left them with her how observant you are Raskolnikov smiled awkwardly doing his very utmost to look him straight in the face but he failed and suddenly added I say that because I suppose there were a great many pledges that it must be difficult to remember them crime and punishment 454 of nine hundred and sixty-seven all but you remember them all so clearly and and stupid feeble he thought had pledges and you are the only one who hasn't come forward Porfiry answered with hardly perceptible irony I haven't been quite well I heard that too I heard indeed that you were in great distress about something you look pale still I am NOT pale at all no I am quite well Raskolnikov snapped out rudely and angrily completely changing his tone his anger was mounting he could not repress it and in my anger I shall betray myself flashed through his mind again why are they torturing me not quite well Rossi Mian caught him up what next he was unconscious and delirious all yesterday would you believe Porfiry as soon as our backs were turned he dressed though he could hardly stand and gave us the slip and went off on a spree somewhere till midnight delirious all the time would you believe it extraordinary really delirious you don't say so Porfiry shook his head in a womanish way crime and punishment 455 of 967 nonsense don't you believe it you don't believe it anyway Rask on a cough let slip in his anger but Porfiry Petrovich did not seem to catch those strange words but how could you have gone out if you hadn't been delirious resumed Ian got hot suddenly what did you go out for what was the object of it and why on the sly were you in your senses when you did it now that all danger is over I can speak plainly I was awfully sick of them yesterday Raskolnikov addressed Porfiry suddenly with a smile of insolent defiance I ran away from them to take lodgings where they wouldn't find me and took a lot of money with me mr. Samet off there saw it I say mr. zametov was i sensible or delirious yesterday settle our dispute he could have strangled zametov at that moment so hateful were his expression and his silence to him in my opinion you talk sensibly and even artfully but you were extremely irritable zametov pronounced dryly and the Cottam fomitch was telling me today put in porfiry petrovitch that he met you very late last night in the lodging of a man who had been run over and there said resume in weren't you mad then you gave your last penny to the widow for the funeral if Crime and Punishment 456 of 967 you wanted to help give 15 or 20 even but keep three rubles for yourself at least but he flung away all the 25 at once maybe I found a treasure somewhere and you know nothing of it so that's why I was liberal yesterday mr. zametov knows i've found a treasure excuse us please for disturbing you for half an hour with such trivialities he said turning to Porfiry Petrovich with trembling lips we are boring you aren't we oh no quite the contrary quite the contrary if only you knew how you interest me interesting to look on and listen and I am really glad you have come forward at last but you might give us some tea my throat's dry cried resumed in capital idea perhaps we will all keep you company wouldn't you like something more essential before tea get along with you Porfiry Petrovich went out to order tea Raskolnikov thoughts were in a whirl he was in terrible exasperation the worst of it is they don't disguise it they don't care to stand on ceremony and how if you didn't know me it crime and punishment four hundred and fifty seven of nine hundred and sixty-seven all did you come to talk to nakatome fomitch about me so they don't care to hide that they are tracking me like a pack of dogs they simply spit in my face he was shaking with rage come strike me openly don't play with me like a cat with a mouse it's hardly civil porfiry petrovitch but perhaps I won't allow it get up and throw the whole truth in your ugly faces and you will see how I despise you he could hardly breathe and what if it's only my fancy what if I am mistaken and through an experience I get angry and don't keep up my nasty part perhaps it's all unintentional all their phrases are the usual ones but there is something about them it all might be said but there is something why did he say bluntly with her why did Sam it off add that I spoke artfully why do they speak in that tone yes the tone resumed Ian is sitting here why does he see nothing innocent blockhead never does see anything feverish again did Porfiry wink at me just now of course it's nonsense could he wink for upset my nerves or are they teasing me either it's ill fancy or they know even zametov is rude is zametov rude changed his mind I foresaw he would change his mind he is at home here while it's my first visit Porfiry does not consider him a visitor sits with his crime and punishment 458 of 967 back to him they're as thick as thieves no doubt over me they were talking about me before we came do they know about the flat if only they'd make haste I said that I ran away to take a flat he let it pass I put that in cleverly about a flat it may be of use afterwards delirious indeed hahaha he knows all about last night he didn't know of my mother's arrival had written the date on in pencil you are wrong you won't catch me there are no facts it's all supposition you produce facts even isn't a fact but delirium I know what to say to them do they know about the flat I won't go without finding out what did I come for angry now maybe is a fact fool how irritable I am perhaps that's right to play the invalid he is feeling me he will try to catch me why did I come flashed like lightning through his mind Porfiry Petrovich returned quickly he became suddenly more jovial your party yesterday brother has left my head rather and I am out of sorts altogether he began in quite a different tone laughing to resume Ian was it interesting I left you yesterday at the most interesting point who got the best of it Crime and Punishment 405 nine of 967 oh no one of course they got on to everlasting questions floated off into space only fancy Rodya what we got onto yesterday whether there is such a thing as crime I told you that we talked our heads off what is there strange an everyday social question Raskolnikov answered casually the question wasn't put quite like that observed Porfiry not quite that's true razumihin agreed at once getting warm and hurried as usual listen Rodion and tell us your opinion I want to hear it I was fighting tooth and nail with them and wanted you to help me I told them you were coming it began with the socialist doctrine you know their doctrine crime is a protest against the abnormality of the social organization and nothing more and nothing more no other cause is admitted you are wrong there cried Porfiry Petrovich he was noticeably animated and kept laughing as he looked at resume in which made him more excited than ever nothing is admitted resume e'en interrupted with heat crime and punishment 460 of 967 I am NOT wrong I'll show you their pamphlets everything with them is the influence of environment and nothing else their favourite phrase from which it follows that if society is normally organised all crime will cease at once since there will be nothing to protest against and all men will become righteous in one instant human nature is not taken into account it is excluded it's not supposed to exist they don't recognize that humanity developing by a historical living process will become at last in normal society but they believe that a social system that has come out of some mathematical brain is going to organize all humanity at once and make it just in sinless in an instant quicker than any living process that's why they instinctively dislike history nothing but ugliness and stupidity in it and they explain it all as stupidity that's why they so dislike the living process of life they don't want a living soul the living soul demands life the soul won't obey the rules of mechanics the soul is an object of suspicion the soul is retrograde but what they want though it smells of death and can be made of india-rubber at least is not alive has no will is servile and won't revolt and it comes in the end to their reducing everything to the building of walls in the planning of rooms and passages in a fallon story the fallon story is ready indeed crime and punishment 461 of 967 but your human nature is not ready for the fallon story it wants life it hasn't completed its vital process it's too soon for the graveyard you can skip over nature by logic logic presupposes three possibilities but there are millions cut away a million and reduce it all to the question of comfort that's the easiest solution of the problem it's seductively clear and you mustn't t think about it that's the great thing you mustn't think the whole secret of life and two pages of print now heat is off beating the drum catch hold of him do laughed poor theory can you imagine he turned to Raskolnikov six people holding forth like that last night in one room with punches a preliminary no brother you are wrong environment accounts for a great deal in crime I can assure you of that oh I know it does but just tell me a man of 40 violates a child of 10 was it environment drove him to it well strictly speaking it did Porfiry observed with noteworthy gravity a crime of that nature may be very well ascribed to the influence of environment resumed ian was almost in a frenzy oh if you like he roared I'll prove to you that your white eyelashes may very well be ascribed to the Church of even the Great's crime and punishment 462 of 967 being 250 feet high and I will prove it clearly exactly progressively and even with a liberal tendency I undertake to will you bet on it done let's hear please how he will prove it he is always humbugging confound him cried resumed in jumping up and gesticulating what's the use of talking to you he does all that on purpose you don't know him Rodion he took their side yesterday simply to make fools of them the things he said yesterday and they were delighted keep it up for a fortnight together last year he persuaded us that he was going into a monastery he stuck to it for two months not long ago he took it into his head to declare he was going to get married that he had everything ready for the wedding he ordered new clothes indeed we all began to congratulate him there was no bride nothing all pure fantasy ah you are wrong I got the clothes before it was the new clothes in fact that made me think of taking you in are you such a good dissembler Raskolnikov asked carelessly you wouldn't have supposed it wait a bit I shall take you in too hahaha no I'll tell you the truth all these questions about crime environment children recall to my mind an article of yours which interested me at the crime and punishment 463 of 967 time on crime or something of the sort I forget the title I read it with pleasure two months ago in the periodical review my article in the periodical review Raskolnikov asked in astonishment I certainly did write an article upon a book six months ago when I left the university but I send it to the weekly review but it came out in the periodical and the weekly review ceased to exist so that's why it wasn't printed at the time that's true but when it ceased to exist the weekly review was amalgamated with the periodical and so your article appeared two months ago in the latter didn't you know Raskolnikov had not known why you might get some money out of them for the article what a strange person you are you lead such a solitary life that you know nothing of matters that concern you directly its effect I assure you Bravo Rodya nothing about it either cried resumed in today to the reading room and ask for the number two months ago what was the date matter though I will find it telling us crime and punishment 464 of 967 how did you find out that the article was mine it's only signed with an initial I only learned it by chance the other day through the editor I know him I was very much interested I analyzed if I remember the psychology of a criminal before and after the crime yes and you maintained that the perpetration of a crime is always accompanied by illness very very original but it was not that part of your article that interested me so much but an idea at the end of the article which I regret to say you merely suggested without working it out clearly there is if you recollect a suggestion that there are certain persons who can that is not precisely are able to but have a perfect right to commit breaches of morality and crimes and that the law is not for them Raskolnikov smiled at the exaggerated and intentional distortion of his idea what what do you mean right to crime not because of the influence of environment resume Ian inquired with some alarm even no not exactly because of it answered Porfiry in his article all men are divided into ordinary and extraordinary ordinary men have to live in submission crime and punishment 465 of 967 have no right to transgress the law because don't you see they are ordinary but extraordinary men have a right to commit any crime and to transgress the law in any way just because they are extraordinary that was your idea if I am not mistaken what do you mean that can't be right resumed Ian muttered in bewilderment Raskolnikov smiled again he saw the point at once and knew where they wanted to drive him he decided to take up the challenge that wasn't quite my contention he began simply and modestly yet I admit that you have stated it almost correctly perhaps if you like perfectly so it almost gave him pleasure to admit this the only difference is that I don't contend that extraordinary people are always bound to commit breaches of morals as you call it in fact I doubt whether such an argument could be published I simply hinted that an extraordinary man has the right that is not an official right but an inner right to decide in his own conscience to overstep certain obstacles and only in case it is essential for the practical fulfillment of his idea sometimes perhaps of benefit to the whole of humanity you say that my article isn't definite I am ready to make it as clear as I can perhaps I am right in in punishment 466 of 967 thinking you want me to very well I maintain that if the discoveries of Kepler and Newton could not have been made known except by sacrificing the lives of one a dozen a hundred or more men Newton would have had the right would indeed have been in duty-bound to eliminate the dozen or the hundred men for the sake of making his discoveries known to the whole of humanity but it does not follow from that that Newton had a right to murder people right and left and to steal every day in the market then I remember I maintained in my article that all well legislators and leaders of men such as Lycurgus Solon Mohammed Napoleon and so on were all without exception criminals from the very fact that making a new law they transgressed the ancient one handed down from their ancestors and held sacred by the people and they did not stop short at bloodshed either if that bloodshed often of innocent persons fighting bravely in defense of ancient law were of use to their cause it's remarkable in fact that the majority indeed of these benefactors and leaders of humanity were guilty of terrible carnage in short I maintain that all great men or even men a little out of the common that is to say capable of giving some new word must from their very nature be criminals more or less of course otherwise it's hard for crime and punishment 467 of 967 them to get out of the common rut and to remain in the common rut is what they can't submit to from their very nature again and to my mind they ought not indeed to submit to it you see that there is nothing particularly new in all that the same thing has been printed and read a thousand times before as for my division of people into ordinary and extraordinary I acknowledge that it's somewhat arbitrary but I don't insist upon exact numbers I only believe in my leading idea that men are in general divided by a law of nature into two categories inferior ordinary that is so to say material that serves only to reproduce its kind and men who have the gift or the talent to utter a new word there are of course innumerable subdivisions but the distinguishing features of both categories are fairly well marked the first category generally speaking our men conservative in temperament and law-abiding they live under control and love to be controlled to my thinking it is their duty to be controlled because that's their vocation and there is nothing humiliating in it for them the second category all transgressed the law they are destroyers or disposed to destruction according to their capacities the crimes of these men are of course relative and varied for the most part they seek in very varied ways the destruction of the crime and punishment 468 of nine hundred and sixty-seven present for the sake of the better if such a one is forced for the sake of his idea to step over a corpse or wade through blood he can I maintain find within himself in his conscience a sanction for wading through blood that depends on the idea and its dimensions note that it's only in that sense I speak of their right to crime in my article you remember it began with the legal question there's no need for such anxiety however the masses will scarcely ever admit this right they punish them or hang them more or less and in doing so fulfill quite justly their conservative vocation but the same masses set these criminals on a pedestal in the next generation and worship them more or less the first category is always the man of the present the second the man of the future the first preserve the world and people at the second move the world and lead it to its goal each class has an equal right to exist in fact all have equal rights with me and vive la guerre eternal till the New Jerusalem of course then you believe in the New Jerusalem do you I do Raskolnikov answered firmly as he said these words and during the whole preceding tirade he kept his eyes on one spot on the carpet crime and punishment 469 of 967 and and do you believe in God excuse my curiosity I do repeated Raskolnikov raising his eyes to Porfiry and do you believe in Lazarus rising from the dead I why do you ask all this you believe it literally literally you don't say so from curiosity excuse me but let us go back to the question they are not always executed some on the contrary triumph in their lifetime oh yes some attain their ends in this life and then they begin executing other people if it's necessary indeed for the most part they do your remark is very witty thank you but tell me this how do you distinguish those extraordinary people from the ordinary ones are there signs at their birth I feel there ought to be more exactitude more external definition excuse the natural anxiety of a practical law-abiding citizen but couldn't they adopt a special uniform for instance couldn't they wear something be branded in some way for you know if confusion arises in a member of one category imagine ease crime and punishment 470 of 967 that he belongs to the other begins to eliminate obstacles as you so happily expressed it then oh that very often happens that remark is whittier than the other thank you no reason to but take note that the mistake can only arise in the first category that is among the ordinary people as I perhaps unfortunately called them in spite of their predisposition to obedience very many of them through a playfulness of nature sometimes vouchsafed even to the cow like to imagine themselves advanced people destroyers and to push themselves into the new movement and this quite sincerely meanwhile the really new people are very often unobserved by them or even despised as reactionaries of grovelling tendencies but I don't think there is any considerable danger here and you really need not be uneasy for they never go very far of course they might have a thrashing sometimes for letting their fancy run away with them and to teach them their place but no more in fact even this isn't necessary as they castigate themselves for they are very conscientious some perform this service for one another and others chastise themselves with their own hands they will impose various public acts of penitence upon themselves with a crime and punishment 471 of 967 beautiful and edifying effect in fact you've nothing to be uneasy about it's a law of nature well you have certainly set my mind more at rest on that score but there's another thing worries me tell me please are there many people who have the right to kill others these extraordinary people I am ready to bow down to them of course but you must admit it's alarming if there are a great many of them at OU you needn't worry about that either Raskolnikov went on in the same tone people with new ideas people with the faintest capacity for saying something new are extremely few in number extraordinarily so in fact one thing only is clear that the appearance of all these greats and subdivisions of men must follow with unfailing regularity some law of nature that law of course is unknown at present but I am convinced that it exists and one day may become known the vast mass of mankind is mere material and only exists in order by some great effort by some mysterious process by means of some crossing of races and stocks to bring into the world at last perhaps one man out of a thousand with a spark of Independence one in 10,000 perhaps I speak roughly approximately is born with some independence and with still greater independence crime and punishment 472 of 967 one in a hundred thousand the man of genius is one of millions and the great geniuses the crown of humanity appear on earth perhaps one in many thousand Millions in fact I have not peeped into the retort in which all this takes place but there certainly is and must be a definite law it cannot be a matter of chance why are you both joking razumihin cried at last there you sit making fun of one another are you serious Rodya Raskolnikov raised his pale an almost mournful face and made no reply and the unconcealed persistent nervous and discourteous sarcasm of Porfiry seemed strange to resume and beside that quiet and mournful face well brother if you are really serious you are right of course in saying that it's not new that it's like what we've read and heard a thousand times already but what is really original in all this and is exclusively your own to my horror is that you sanctioned bloodshed in the name of conscience and excuse my saying so with such fanaticism that I take it is the point of your article but that sanction of bloodshed by conscience is to my mind more terrible than the official legal sanction of bloodshed you are quite right it is more terrible Porfiry agreed crime and punishment 473 of 967 yes you must have exaggerated there is some mistake I shall read it you can think that shall read it is not in the article there's only a hint of it said Raskolnikov yes Porfiry couldn't sit still your attitude to crime is pretty clear to me now but excuse me for my impertinent I am really ashamed to be worrying you like this you see you've removed my anxiety as to the two grades getting mixed but there are various practical possibilities that make me uneasy what if some men or youth imagined ease that he is a Lycurgus or Mohammed a future one of course and suppose he begins to remove all obstacles he has some great enterprise before him and needs money for it and tries to get it do you see zametov gave a sudden de foie in his corner Raskolnikov did not even raise his eyes to him I must admit he went on calmly that such cases certainly must arise the vain and foolish are particularly apt to fall into that snare young people especially yes you see well then what then smiled in reply that's not my fault so it is and so it always will be he said just now he nodded at resume in that I sanctioned bloodshed society is too well protected by prisons banishment crime and punishment 474 of 967 criminal investigators penal servitude their end number ex 2019 s no need to be uneasy you have but to catch the thief and what if we do catch him it's what he deserves you are certainly logical but what of his conscience why do you care about that simply from humanity a conscience he will suffer for his mistake that will be his punishment as well as the prison but the real geniuses asked Rossum Ian frowning those who have the right to murder oughtn't they to suffer at all even for the blood they've shed why the word OTT it's not a matter of permission or prohibition he will suffer if he is sorry for his victim pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence in a deep heart the really great men must I think have great sadness on earth he added dreamily not in the tone of the conversation he raised his eyes looked earnestly at them all smiled and took his cap he was too quiet by comparison with his manner at his entrance and he felt this everyone got up well you may abuse me be angry with me if you like Porfiry Petrovich began again but I can't resist crime and punishment 475 of 967 allow me one little question I know I am troubling you there is just one little notion I want to express simply that I may not forget it very good tell me your little notion Raskolnikov stood waiting pale and grave before him well you see I really don't know how to express it properly it's a playful psychological idea when you were writing your article surely you couldn't have helped hehe fancying yourself just a little an extraordinary man uttering a new word in your sense that's so isn't it quite possibly Raskolnikov answered contemptuously resumed and made a movement and if so could you bring self in case of worldly difficulties in hardship or for some service to humanity to overstep obstacles for instance to rob and murder again he winked with his left eye and laughed noiselessly just as before if I did I certainly should not tell you Raskolnikov answered with defiant and haughty contempt no I was only interested on account of your article from a literary point of view crime and punishment four hundred and seventy six of nine hundred and sixty-seven Fuu how obvious an insolent that is Raskolnikov thought with repulsion allow me to observe he answered dryly that I don't consider myself a muhammad or a Napoleon nor any person egde of that kind and not being one of them I cannot tell you how I should act oh come don't we all think ourselves Napoleon's now in Russia Porfiry Petrovich said with alarming familiarity something peculiar betrayed itself in the very intonation of his voice perhaps it was one of these future Napoleon's who did for Elena Ivanovna last week zametov blurted out from the corner Raskolnikov did not speak but looked firmly and intently at Porfiry resume Ian was scowling gloomily he seemed before this to be noticing something he looked angrily around there was a minute of gloomy silence Raskolnikov turned to go are you going already Porfiry said amiably holding out his hand with excessive politeness very very glad of your acquaintance as for your request have no uneasiness right just as I told you or better still come to me there yourself in a day or two tomorrow indeed crime and punishment 477 of 967 shall be there at eleven o'clock for certain we'll arrange it all we'll have a talk the last to be there you might perhaps be able to tell us something he added with a most good-natured expression you want to cross-examine me officially in due form Raskolnikov asked sharply oh why necessary for the present you misunderstand me I lose no opportunity you see and talked with all who had pledges evidence from some of them and you are the last yes by the way he cried seemingly suddenly delighted I just remember what was I thinking of he turned to resume Ian you were talking my ears off about that Nicolai of course I know I know very well he turned to Raskolnikov that the fellow is innocent but what is one to do we had to trouble Dimitri to this is the point this is all when you went up the stairs it was past seven wasn't it yes answered Raskolnikov with an unpleasant sensation at the very moment he spoke that he need not have said it then when you went upstairs between 7:00 and 8:00 didn't you see in a flat that stood open on a second storey do you remember two workmen or at least one of Crime and Punishment 478 of 967 them we're painting there didn't you notice them it's very very important for them painters no I didn't see them Raskolnikov answered slowly as though ransacking his memory while at the same instant he was racking every nerve almost swooning with anxiety to conjecture as quickly as possible where the trap lay and not to overlook anything no I didn't see them and I don't think I noticed a flat like that open but on the fourth storey he had mastered the trap now and was triumphant I remember now that someone was moving out of the flat opposite a lion ivanovna's I remember I remember it clearly some porters were carrying out a sofa and they squeezed me against the wall but painters no I don't remember that there were any painters and I don't think that there was a flat open anywhere no there wasn't what do you mean razumihin shouted suddenly as though he had reflected and realized why it was on the day of the murder the painters were at work and he was there three days before what are you asking foo have muddled it Porfiry slapped himself on the for it deuce take it is turning my brain he addressed Raskolnikov somewhat apologetically it would be such a great thing for us to find out whether Crime and Punishment 479 of 967 anyone had seen them between 7:00 and 8:00 at the flat so I fancied you could perhaps have told us something I quite muddled it then you should be more careful resumed Ian observed grimly the last words were uttered in the passage Porfiry Petrovich saw them to the door with excessive politeness they went out into the street gloomy and sullen and for some steps they did not say a word Raskolnikov drew a deep breath Crime and Punishment 480 of nine hundred and sixty-seven chapter six I don't believe it I can't believe it repeated resumed Ian trying in perplexity to refute raskolnikov's arguments they were by now approaching bay kale if's lodgings where pulcheria alexandrovna and dawnia had been expecting them a long while resume Ian kept stopping on the way in the heat of discussion confused and excited by the very fact that they were for the first time speaking openly about it don't believe it then answered Raskolnikov with the cold careless smile you were noticing nothing as usual but I was weighing every word you are suspicious that is why you weighed their words him certainly I agree Porfiry's tone was rather strange and still more that wretch zametov you are right there was something about him but why why changed his mind since last night quite the contrary if they had that brainless idea they would do their utmost to hide it and conceal their cards crime and punishment 481 of 967 so is to catch you afterwards but it was all impudent and careless had facts I mean real facts or at least grounds for suspicion then they would certainly have tried to hide their game in the hope of getting more they would have made a search long ago besides but they have no facts not one it is all Mirage all ambiguous simply a floating idea so they try to throw me out by impudence and perhaps he was irritated at having no facts and blurted it out in his vexation or perhaps he has some plan he seems an intelligent man perhaps he wanted to frighten me by pretending to know they have a psychology of their own brother but it is loathsome explaining it all stop and it's insulting insulting I understand you but since we have spoken openly now and it is an excellent thing that we have at last I am glad I will own now frankly that I noticed it in them long ago this idea of course the merest hint only an insinuation but why an insinuation even how dare they what foundation have they if only you knew how furious I have been think only simply because a poor student unhinged by poverty in hypochondria on the eve of a severe delirious illness note that suspicious vain proud who has not seen a crime and punishment 182 of 967 soul to speak to for six months in Rex and in Boots without soul ace has to face some wretched policeman and put up with their insolence and the unexpected death thrust under his nose the IOU presented by chiba Rev the new paint 30 degrees Ryo more in a stifling atmosphere a crowd of people the talk about the murder of a person where he had been just before and all that on an empty stomach he might well have a fainting fit and that that is what they found it all on damn them I understand how annoying it is but in your place Rodya I would laugh at them or better still spit in their ugly faces and spit a dozen times in all directions I'd hit out in all directions neatly – and so I'd put an end to it damn them don't be downhearted it's a shame he really has put it well though Raskolnikov thought damn them again tomorrow he said with bitterness must I really enter into explanations with them I feel vexed as it is that I condescended to speak to Zam it off yesterday in the restaurant damn it I will go myself to Porfiry I will squeeze it out of him as one of the family he must let me know the ins and outs of it all and is for zametov crime and punishment 483 of 967 at last he sees through him thought Raskolnikov stay cried razumihin seizing him by the shoulder again stay you were wrong have thought it out you are wrong how is that a trap you say that the question about the workman was a trap but if you had done that could you have said you had seen them painting the flat and the workman on the contrary you would have seen nothing even if you had seen it who would own it against himself I had done that thing I should certainly have said that I had seen the workmen in the flat Raskolnikov answered with reluctance and obvious disgust but why speak against yourself because only peasants or the most inexperienced novices deny everything flatly at examinations if a man is ever so little developed and experienced he will certainly try to admit all the external facts that can't be avoided but will seek other explanations of them we'll introduce some special unexpected turn that will give them another significance and put them in another light Porfiry might well reckon that I should be sure to answer so and say I had seen them to give an air of truth and then make some explanation crime and punishment 484 of 967 but he would have told you at once that the workman could not have been there two days before and that therefore you must have been there on the day of the murder at eight o'clock and so he would have caught you over a detail yes that is what he was reckoning on that I should not have time to reflect and should be in a hurry to make the most likely answer and so would forget that the workman could not have been there two days before but how could you forget it nothing easier is in just such stupid things clever people are most easily caught the more cunning a man is the less he suspects that he will be caught in a simple thing the more cunning a man is the simpler the trap he must be caught in Porfiry is not such a fool as you think he is an a then if that is so Raskolnikov could not help laughing but at the very moment he was struck by the strangeness of his own frankness and the eagerness with which he had made this explanation though he had kept up all the preceding conversation with gloomy repulsion obviously with a motive from necessity Crime and Punishment 485 of 967 I am getting a relish for certain aspects he thought to himself but almost at the same instant he became suddenly uneasy as though an unexpected an alarming idea had occurred to him his uneasiness kept on increasing they had just reached the entrance to bake a lie EV go in alone said Raskolnikov suddenly we'll be back directly where are you going why we are just here I can't help it in half-an-hour tell them say what you like I will come with you you too to torture me he screamed with such bitter irritation such despair in his eyes that resumed Ian's hands dropped he stood for some time on the steps looking gloomily at Raskolnikov striding rapidly away in the direction of his lodging at last gritting his teeth and clenching his fists he swore he would squeeze Porfiry like a lemon that very day and went up the stairs to reassure pulcheria alexandrovna who was by now alarmed at their long absence when Raskolnikov got home his hair was soaked with sweat and he was breathing heavily he went rapidly up the stairs walked into his unlocked room and at once Crime and Punishment 486 of 967 fastened the latch senseless terror he rushed to the corner to that hole under the paper where he had put the things put his hand in and for some minutes felt carefully in the hole in every crack and fold of the paper finding nothing he got up and drew a deep breath as he was reaching the steps of bakei lives he suddenly fancied that something a chain a stud or even a bit of paper in which they had been wrapped with the old woman's handwriting on it might somehow have slipped out and been lost in some crack and then might suddenly turn up as unexpected conclusive evidence against him he stood as the lost in thought in a strange humiliated half senseless smile straight on his lips he took his cap at last and went quietly out of the room his ideas were all tangled he went dreamily through the Gateway here he is himself shouted a loud voice he raised his head the porter was standing at the door of his little room and was pointing him out to a short man who looked like an artisan wearing a long coat in a waistcoat and looking at a distance remarkably like a woman he stooped and his head in a greasy cap hung forward from his wrinkled flabby face he looked over fifty his little eyes Crime and Punishment 487 of 967 were lost in fat and they looked out grimly sternly and discontentedly what is it Raskolnikov asked going up to the porter the man stole a look at him from under his brows and he looked at him attentively deliberately then he turned slowly and went out of the gate into the street without saying a word what is it cried Raskolnikov why he there was asking whether a student lived here mentioned your name and whom you lodged with I saw you coming and pointed you out and he went away it's funny Porter – seemed rather puzzled but not much so and after wandering for a moment he turned and went back to his room Raskolnikov ran after the stranger and at once caught sight of him walking along the other side of the street with the same even deliberate step with his eyes fixed on the ground as though in meditation he soon overtook him but for sometime walked behind him at last moving on to a level with him he looked at his face the man noticed him at once looked at him quickly but dropped his eyes again and so they walked for a minute side by side without uttering a word Crime and Punishment 488 of 967 you were inquiring for me of the porter Raskolnikov said at last but in a curiously quiet voice the man made no answer he didn't even look at him again they were both silent why do you come and ask for me and say nothing what's the meaning of it brass Khanna coughs voice broke and he seemed unable to articulate the words clearly the man raised his eyes this time and turned a gloomy sinister look at Raskolnikov murderer he said suddenly in a quiet but clear and distinct voice Raskolnikov went on walking beside him his legs felt suddenly weak a cold shiver ran down his spine and his heart seemed to stand still for a moment then suddenly began throbbing as though it were set free so they walked for about a hundred paces side by side in silence the man did not look at him what do you mean what is who is a murderer muttered Raskolnikov hardly audibly you are a murderer the man answered still more articulately and emphatically with a smile of triumphant hatred and again he looked straight into Raskin a coughs pale face and stricken eyes Crime and Punishment 489 of nine hundred and sixty-seven they had just reached the crossroads the man turned to the left without looking behind him Raskolnikov remained standing gazing after him he saw him turn around fifty paces away and look back at him still standing there Raskolnikov could not see clearly but he fancied that he was again smiling the same smile of cold hatred and triumph with slow faltering steps with shaking knees Raskolnikov made his way back to his little Garret feeling chilled all over he took off his cap and put it on the table and for ten minutes he stood without moving then he sank exhausted on the sofa and with a weak moan of pain he stretched himself on it so he lay for half-an-hour he thought of nothing some thoughts or fragments of thoughts some images without order or coherence floated before his mind faces of people he had seen in his childhood or met somewhere once whom he would never have recalled the belfry of the church @v the billiard table in a restaurant and some officers playing billiards the smell of cigars in some underground tobacco shop a tavern room a back staircase quite dark all sloppy with dirty water and strewn with eggshells and the Sunday bells floating in from somewhere the images followed one another whirling like a hurricane some of crime and punishment 490 of 967 them he liked and tried to clutch it but they faded in all the while there was an oppression within him but it was not overwhelming sometimes it was even Pleasant the slight shivering still persisted but that too was an almost pleasant sensation he heard the hurried footsteps of resume e'en he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep resume e'en opened the door and stood for some time in the doorway as though hesitating then he stepped softly into the room and went cautiously to the sofa Raskolnikov heard nastasia's whisper don't disturb him let him sleep he can have his dinner later quite so answered resume Ian carefully and closed the door another half-hour past Raskolnikov opened his eyes turned on his back again clasping his hands behind his head who is he who is that man who sprang out of the earth where was he what did he see has seen it all that's clear where was he then and from where did he see why has he only now sprung out of the earth how could he see is it possible hum continued Raskolnikov turning cold and shivering and the jewel-case Nikolai found behind the door was that possible a Crime and Punishment 491 of 967 clue you miss an infinitesimal line and you can build it into a pyramid of evidence a fly flew by and saw it is it possible he felt with sudden loathing how weak how physically weak he had become I ought to have known it he thought with a bitter smile and how dare die knowing myself knowing how I should be take up an axe and shed blood I ought to have known beforehand ah but I did know he whispered in despair he came to a standstill at some thought no those men are not made so the real master to whom all has permitted storms to lone makes a massacre in Paris forgets an Army in Egypt wastes half a million men in the Moscow expedition and gets off with a jest at Vilna and altars are set up to him after his death and so all is permitted no such people it seems are not a flesh but of bronze one sudden irrelevant idea almost made him laugh Napoleon the pyramids Waterloo and a wretched skinny old woman a pawnbroker with a red trunk under her bed it's a nice hash for porfiry petrovitch to digest how can they digest it it's to an artistic a Napoleon creep under an old woman's bed ugh how loathsome at moments he felt he was raving he sank into a state of feverish excitement the old woman is of no crime and punishment 492 of 967 consequence he thought hotly and incoherently the old woman was a mistake perhaps but she is not what matters the old woman was only an illness I was in a hurry to overstep I didn't kill a human being but a principal I killed the principal but I didn't overstep I stopped on this side I was only capable of killing seems I wasn't even capable of that principal why was that fool resuming abusing the Socialists they are industrious commercial people the happiness of all is their case no life is only given to me once and I shall never have it again I don't want to wait for the happiness of all I want to live myself or else better not live at all I simply couldn't pass by my mother's starving keeping my ruble in my pocket while I waited for that happiness of all I am putting my little brick into the happiness of all and so my heart is at peace haha why have you let me slip I only live once I too want I am anaesthetic Laos and nothing more he added suddenly laughing like a madman yes I am certainly a louse he went on clutching at the idea gloating over it and playing with it with vindictive pleasure in the first place because I can reason that I am one and secondly because for a month past I have been troubling benevolent Providence calling it to witness that not for my own fleshly lusts did I crime and punishment 493 of 967 undertake it but with a grand and noble object haha thirdly because I aimed at carrying it out as justly as possible weighing measuring and calculating of all the lice I picked out the most useless one and proposed to take from her only as much as I needed for the first step no more nor less so the rest would have gone to a monastery according to her will haha and what shows that I am utterly a louse he added grinding his teeth is that I am perhaps vile er and more loathsome than the louse I killed and I felt beforehand that I should tell myself so after killing her can anything be compared with the horror of that the vulgarity the abjectness I understand the Prophet with his saber on his steed Allah commands and trembling creation must obey the Prophet is right he is right when he sets a battery across the street and blows up the innocent and the guilty without deigning to explain it's for you to obey trembling creation and not to have desires for that's not for you I shall never never forgive the old woman his hair was soaked with sweat his quivering lips were parched his eyes were fixed on the ceiling mother sister how I loved them why do I hate them now yes I hate them I feel a physical hatred for them I can't bear them near me I went up to my crime and punishment 494 of 967 mother and kissed her I remember to embrace her and think if she only knew shall I tell her then that's just what I might do she must be the same as I am he added straining himself to think as it were struggling with delirium ah how I hate the old woman now I feel I should kill her again if she came to life poor Eliza Veda why did she come in it's strange though why is it I scarcely ever think of her as though I hadn't killed her Liza vada Sonya mental things with gentle eyes dear women why don't they weep why don't they moan they give up everything their eyes are soft and gentle Sonia Sonia gentle Sonia consciousness it seemed strange to him that he didn't remember how he got into the street it was late evening the twilight had fallen in the full moon was shining more and more brightly but there was a peculiar breathlessness in the air there were crowds of people in the street workmen and business people were making their way home other people had come out for a walk there was a smell of mortar dust and stagnant water Raskolnikov walked along mournful and anxious he was distinctly aware of having come out with a purpose of having to do something in a hurry but what it was he had forgotten suddenly he stood still and saw a man standing crime and punishment 495 of 967 on the other side of the street beckoning to him he crossed over to him but at once the man turned and walked away with his head hanging as though he had made no sign to him stay did he really beckon Raskolnikov wondered but he tried to overtake him when he was within ten paces he recognized him and was frightened it was the same man with stooping shoulders in the long coat Raskolnikov followed him at a distance his heart was beating they went down a turning the man still did not look round does he know I am following him thought Raskolnikov the man went into the gateway of a big house Raskolnikov hastened to the gate and looked in to see whether he would look round and signed to him in the courtyard the man did turn round and again seemed to beckon him brass conic off at once followed him into the yard but the man was gone he must have gone up the first staircase Raskolnikov rushed after him he heard slow measured steps to flights above the staircase seemed strangely familiar he reached the window on the first floor the moon shone through the panes with a melancholy and mysterious light then he reached the second floor ba is the flatware the painters were at work but how is it he did not recognize it at once the steps of the man above had died away so he must crime and punishment 496 of 967 have stopped or hidden somewhere he reached the third storey should he go on there was a stillness that was dreadful but he went on sound of his own footsteps scared and frightened him how dark it was the man must be hiding in some corner here wide open he hesitated and went in it was very dark and empty in the passage as though everything had been removed he crept on tiptoe into the parlor which was flooded with moonlight everything there was as before the chairs the looking-glass the yellow sofa and the pictures in the frames a huge round copper red moon looked in at the windows it's the moon that makes it so still weaving some mystery thought Raskolnikov he stood and waited waited a long while and the more silent the moonlight the more violently his heart beat till it was painful and still the same hush suddenly he heard a momentary sharp crack like the snapping of a splinter and all was still again a fly flew up suddenly and struck the windowpane with a plaintive buzz at that moment he noticed in the corner between the window and the little cupboard something like a cloak hanging on the wall why is that cloak here he thought it wasn't there before he went up to it quietly and felt that there was someone hiding behind it he Crime and Punishment 497 of 967 cautiously moved the cloak and saw sitting on a chair in the corner the old woman bent double so that he couldn't see her face but it was she he stood over her she is afraid he thought took the ax from the noose and struck her one blow then another on the skull but strange to say she did not stir as though she were made of wood he was frightened bent down near and tried to look at her but she too bent her head lower he bent right down to the ground and peeped up into her face from below he peeped and turned cold with horror the old woman was sitting and laughing shaking with noiseless laughter doing her utmost that he should not hear it suddenly he fancied that the door from the bedroom was opened a little in that there was laughter and whispering within he was overcome with frenzy and he began hitting the old woman on the head with all his force but at every blow of the axe the laughter and whispering from the bedroom grew louder and the old woman was simply shaking with mirth he was rushing away but the passage was full of people the doors of the flat stood open in on the landing on the stairs and everywhere below there were people rows of heads all looking but huddled together in silence and expectation something gripped his heart his legs were routed to thee Crime and Punishment 498 of 967 spot they would not move he tried to scream and woke up he drew a deep breath but his dream seemed strangely to persist his door was flung open in a man whom he had never seen stood in the doorway watching him intently Raskolnikov had hardly opened his eyes and he instantly closed them again he lay on his back without stirring is it still a dream he wondered and again raised his eyelids hardly perceptibly the stranger was standing in the same place still watching him he stepped cautiously into the room carefully closing the door after him went up to the table paused a moment still keeping his eyes on Raskolnikov and noiselessly seated himself on the chair by the sofa he put his hat on the floor beside him and leaned his hands on his cane and his chin on his hands it was evident that he was prepared to wait indefinitely as far as Raskolnikov could make out from his stolen glances he was a man no longer young stout with the full fare almost whitish beard ten minutes passed it was still light but began to get dusk there was complete stillness in the room not a sound came from the stairs only a big fly buzzed end Crime and Punishment 499 of 967 fluttered against the windowpane it was unbearable at last Raskolnikov suddenly got up and sat on the sofa come tell me what you want I knew you were not asleep but only pretending the stranger answered oddly laughing calmly arkady ivanovitch svidrigaïlov allow me to introduce myself

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