Dave Chappelle Finds Out His Son Smokes Weed | Netflix Is A Joke


You know how I know I’m getting old?
This is embarrassing, but… I was in my hotel room. I was– I’m not gonna lie,
I was jerking off. And I was really sweating it out. And this is when I knew I was old. I just gave up in the middle
like nothing even happened. I don’t like looking at my dick anymore. My dick looks distinguished. It’s old. An old-looking dick. It’s got salt-and-pepper hair
all around it. My dick looks like Morgan Freeman
in the ’90s. Without the dots. My dick narrates, “Dave pulled me out
and started jerking me around. Jerking me around. But not with the same vigor
as when he was young. He and I both knew
nothing was coming out.” I see my age in my children. I came home from the road,
this is not long ago. I’d been gone for– If you picture,
I was gone for weeks and weeks, and when I came back, nobody was home. Not one person in my family thought that maybe I’d like to see them
when I got back. They knew when I was coming back,
but they just weren’t… They just weren’t home. And that shit was a wake-up call. You know, like, when my kids were little, and the tour bus would pull up
to the house, these motherfuckers would spill out. “Dad is home. Hooray!” And they’d hug me and kiss me. And then, as the years went on,
they’d get less interested. “Hey, everybody, look,
it’s Mr. Promises back from the road.” But an empty house, that’s… That’s some cold shit. I went into my oldest son’s room.
I was like, “Hello? Hello?” He was gone. I’d never done this to him before,
but for some reason, I just did it. I just… I just looked through his shit. Just to see who this motherfucker
was becoming. I found these notebooks, and I started
going through the notebooks, and it was all this wonderful poetry
in them. It was his handwriting. I didn’t even know this nigga wrote poems. Then I look through his drawers,
and I open up his middle drawer… and I found this rolling paper. And I looked down
at them papers, like, “Oh… that’s where that poetry is coming from.” And that shit broke my heart. I mean, I smoke weed,
but I mourned my son’s innocence. And I cried a little bit… and I took his papers upstairs in my room. Rolled some weed
that I’d hid from the family. And I got really high. And then I got paranoid… so I put his papers back
how I found them… so he wouldn’t know what I was up to. This nigga won’t even know that
that happened till he sees this special. Yeah, nigga, I found your papers. He’s a cold motherfucker. This kid is only 16 years old.
Listen to what he did to me. This motherfucker calls me up… in the middle of the night.
It was one o’clock in the morning. He goes, “Dad, don’t be mad.” I knew something was terribly wrong. I said, “What’s going on?”
He said, “Listen, I’m fine. And don’t forget you told me to do this. I’m at a party, and my designated driver
had too much to drink. Me and my friends need you
to come pick us up.” I said, “Jesus Christ.
It’s one o’clock in the morning, nigga. I am shitfaced.” But then I figured fuck,
it’s better me than some kid. I might as well roll the dice
and go pick my nigga up. I said, “All right,
I’m coming to get you. Give me the address
and I’ll be right there.” And then he gave me the address,
and I was shocked. I said, “Son, you are not
gonna believe this, but… I’m at the same party, nigga.”

100 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle Finds Out His Son Smokes Weed | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. Dave Chappelle is a buck toothed ignorant trash talking bastard. He should go to prison for what he said against children who are tragically victimized by child molesters.. Children are innocent and should be protected by adults not subjected to being victims to pedophiles. Dave Chappelle is basically saying a child should accept being tormented in this manner which ultimately negatively affects them for their entire lives. Dave Chappelle is pure evil. He is a disgrace and his filthy mouth is criminal. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is comical. He is a sick individual whose buck to the mouth should be put in a muzzel. He should not be allowed to ever receive another stand up job. Who in the hell does this ignorant buffoon thinks he is anyway. I just don't understand how anyone can think what comes out of his trifling mouth. They must be gullible fools also. Dave Chappelle is a slimy disgrace of human life. What a waste of life he is.

  2. Hey Netflix. Why are you burying Dave's new special on your platform?

  3. Chappelle is the only person who could seamlessly transition from talking about him jerking off in a hotel room, to talking about the relationship btwn him and his children lmfao πŸ€­πŸ™ŒπŸ€£

  4. I'ma tell u like this, the only other comedian I might click on before Dave Chapelle (and it doesn't happen too often) is Richard Pryor.

  5. You see something I'm fluent in three languages came from working 14 hours see this honestly makes me laugh a lot this so much man I like it

  6. Cute. At the end he meets with his son and the boy says how'd you get here so fast? What? Just get in the car n! (I was at the same party) That's my rendition.πŸ˜‰β€οΈ

  7. One of the best, if not the BEST! Keeps it real and doesn't hold back. That's why he is amazing in this PR world! Hes real, just about everything else isn't!

  8. My dick looks like morgan freeman in the 90's without the dots fucking hilarious

  9. You know what else broke my heart but wasn’t surprising? Dave getting a zero from rotten tomatoes

  10. Dave Chappelle is on a whole other level of comedy. His delivery is unmatched and I expect a LOT of people to start copying and mentioning him just to have that connection. Amy Schumer gonna steal jokes. Taylor Swift gonna write a song called Sticks and Stones. Cardi B gonna be talking about sucking mens sticks and stones. Wendy Williams gonna be talking about getting stoned with a stick. Chris Rock is now Chris Sticksnstones. R. Kelly… R. Kelly.

    Its just amazing how everyone is talkin Kevin Kevin Kevil like that burnt McNugget is some kind of comedy god. No. Kevin is a black Rob Schneider. Hes mediocre. He repetitive. He takes every role available even if the role was like clothing in the mens department and did not fit him. I heard Kevin Hart wants to be Blade. BLADE. I assumed that he meant he wanted to evade taxes.

    I leave you with this. Chappelle is the man. Even if he DID hit puberty later in life and got the deep voice and shit goin on, he and IMO Eddie Griffin are hilarious. But, Chappelle is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. P.s. I just realized how black his name really is.

  11. I sometimes wonder "Is this bit based on true events or one of his great stories?" But this one felt real and the audience was not supposed to laugh, I stopped. Dave, just know that I was there with you that day in spirit… You passed the joint to my specter up stairs. Honestly, that's a fucked up to come home to no love.

  12. Dave Chappelle: "Muh dick!"
    applause HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Modern comedy, ladies and gentleman.

  13. Dave seems to be vaping a Juul. (He told an interviewer, Jon Stewart, in 2017 that he smoked cigarettes, so a Juul would be good harm-reduction smoking-quitting measure for him.) I hope he didn't put any of those unhealthful, respiration-harming marijuana capsules in it.

  14. 4:49 That smile looked like skinny chapelle was trying to escape. Looked like his old self for a second

  15. The only comedian i can watch special today, laugh my ass off, then watch it again next week and laugh just as much

  16. Am I the only human being on Earth that doesn't think Chappelle is all that goddamn funny? Since George Carlin died May no God bless and keep him I think stand-up comedy died with him. None of these fuckers now are particularly funny as they all grasp for the obvious and tired racially-motivated set up and punch lines. I don't really want to hear about black dudes, second-generation Korean women and fat Jewish lesbians telling the same old worn-out premise jokes that were probably told two or three generations a go by real comics like Buddy Hackett. Unfortunately for us most of those really filthy and hilarious routines were told in bars in Vegas and never recorded. My generation and the couple that follow such as namby-pamby millennials and so easily offended gen-xers and such have had it too easy in life and are just so full of shit We should all just go fuck ourselves.

  17. I love the way Dave takes his time…it’s not even jokes…it’s funny story telling. One the greats have done it like this Pryor, Murphy, Carlin just to name a few. Dave really is a genius at what he does.

  18. This is the first dave Chappelle video ive ever watched and im crying not even 2 minutes in. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  19. LMAO. That's too funny. Dave is just as hilarious as ever!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’¨πŸ’¨πŸ˜ŽπŸ’¨

  20. Chappelle is the example of what comedy should be. It is extremely powerful if done correctly, and Chappelle is as close to flawless as it gets.

    Always was a fan but never have I respected his work and the depth of it until I got a little older.

  21. I really didn't care too much for chappelle when he was younger but now that he's gotten older and uses material about his life experiences, I really like listening to him. I also like his deeper voice rather than that high shrill voice that he had. It kind of annoyed me, like he was trying too hard to be funny.

  22. Laughing my ass off!, The expression, the delivery. Dave Chappelle is the greatest of all time! Seriously folks, I'm a white guy pushing fifty just finished a blunt and literally my ribs hurt watching this! On top of that my friends , I got to get to work!

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