Dylan Garity – “Friend Zone” (Button Poetry First Readings)


The first time I ever danced with a girl
she leaned in close and asked me: why are your arms so stiff?
Dancing with you is like dancing with a mannequin If they made mannequins super bony
and with very sweaty palms. And to be fair, my palms were sweaty
and simultaneously ice cold I was, and continue to be, a miracle of physics. Who knew that adult hands could be supported
by wrists that a five-year-old
or baby duck could easily snap. This may be part of why I spent my teenage
years absolutely failing with women.
In middle school, I would ask girls who I liked how much they weighed
to see if I weighed more. Numbers made me excited!
I loved math! I used to think this meant everyone else loved
math, too! In high school, I became intimate
with the friend zone. With one girl, I spent so many years in the
friend zone I didn’t even realize I was in it.
She was from Sweden. so I guess it was literally Stockholm syndrome.
I would come over to her house and help her with calculus
and I would comfort her and tell her how she was beautiful
or how her boyfriend was a dick or how integrals are related to derivatives
Eventually, I spent so much time in the friend zone that
I grew to think of it as some kind of magical home away from home some lush forest
filled with unicorns and elves and puppies none of whom were getting laid. I was on an adventure!
Constantly uncovering new questions about this mystical place: Are you in the friend zone if they’re sleeping
with other people and NOT telling you about it?
Are you in the friend zone if they tell you they could
totally see marrying you in fifteen years? Why would you marry me in fifteen years if
in fifteen years I’ll still be a virgin because you never slept with me? A few months after my first girlfriend and
I broke up, I heard she lost her virginity to the next
guy she dated. At the time, I thought of this as a betrayal,
not her choice. As if she owed me something. A newspaper column once defined the friend
zone as follows: She discusses her love life with him and has
the “audacity” to ask his advice on it. He performs favors for her. He does everything
a boyfriend would do — but without the benefits.” as if the only reason to be a good friend
or a decent f***ing human is if you get something in exchange. The problem is, when I started
thinking of myself as a savior, I ended up thinking of myself
as a savior with a salary You put in your hours as a nice guy
and sex is just a living wage but sex is not a transaction.
Sex is not a handshake to close some deal. That girl did not “owe” me anything. Last year, I heard that her home was broken
into in a neighborhood known for sexual assaults. Nothing happened to her. We all know the statistics.
Your rapist is more likely to be someone you know.
The boogie man, the stranger in the alley, is real,
but less real than we are. We all know the statistics.
but we don’t know how to accept that we can be part of the problem. You cannot kill a monster
until you are willing to see it in the mirror. Until you recognize its shape in your own
skin.

100 thoughts on “Dylan Garity – “Friend Zone” (Button Poetry First Readings)

  1. ironic that im watching this when i literally got put in the friend zone yesterday

  2. "You cannot kill a monster
    Until you are willing to see it in the mirror,
    Until you recognize its shape in your own skin.."

  3. It's so amazing to hear the support from the audience, it makes me cry. Where I live no one supports like that!

  4. FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM FAVOURITE POEM

  5. this is the first spoken word i ever saw, like two years ago, and ever since i have been HOOKED BITCH

  6. bless this man.. it always warms my heart to see that not all guys are like that.

    last year I cut ties with my friend who always tried to, and did so, get sexual with me. he called me frigid and a tease for 'leading him on' – as if caring for and loving someone was an exclusive road to sex..

  7. I WANT TO MARRY HIM. NOT IN 15 YEARS – NOW. I was kind of mad at first, but then…..

  8. Every good poet needs a good hype man like the dude in the backround here

  9. FUCK I WAS DEADASS ABOUT TO CALL THE DUDE UP FOR THE WHOLE FRIEND ZONE THING WHEN THE POEM BECAME THIS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AMAZING THING

  10. That took a hard left literally down a dark alley and it was magnificent.

  11. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this coming out of the mouth of a man.

  12. just came across this now but I have no words…by far one of the best poems I've ever heard!

  13. Really glad this wasn't some guy complaining about not getting laid, well done

  14. Gotta love that guy who's keeping the entire audience's hype.
    "GO HARD!"
    "LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO"
    "FUCK YEAH"

  15. This is quality poetry. I wonder how many times he edited it before he go to this point?

  16. This seems to contradict the older saying "We shouldn't be careless with the hearts of others, and shouldn't waste time with those who are careless with ours"

  17. right when it ended i kept yelling FUCK YEAH (this is such a great poem)

  18. I loved that one guy in the crowd that was getting increasingly more hype during the poem and yelling come on

  19. I keep coming back to watch this video. I love this. I wish I could make several people watch it

  20. I love how this poem changes. How his expression changed through the reading. I love it.

  21. It's been two years since I first found this poem and it's still as good as I remember

  22. This is why I don’t like nice boys or bad ones because nice is different from being a decent fucking human being

  23. Yo I thought this was gonna be some poem about the "friemdzone" and how he hates that every girl who sees him doesn't want sex but baby gave me chills YES

  24. i thought he was gonna get upset about the girl not fucking him and then it did a complete 180 and i was so shook good job man

  25. It's been five years and I still think about this poem all the time.

  26. Wow so mindblowing, first i thought it would be one of the theme when women being seen only as sexual purposes.. But then, he twist the ending so beutifully, he didnt hide behind the gentelman mask only: he tell the truth the way he see first, his mistake and the way he find the actual answer. So beautiful. And the last phrase really hit my heart core (╥_╥) Really beautifull

  27. To me the friendzone is when you give your whole heart to someone and they deny you access to theirs. Tell you they wish they could find someone like you, while you're sitting there wondering why they can't just love you.. when you're practically dating but the word friend tears a hole in your heart and rips the ground from underneath your feet. I know in reality, those who cannot return another's love are hurt too. I've been on both sides, and know it has nothing to do with sex

  28. Oh look. Another white guy making insecure jokes that arent funny and acting like women owe him pussy if hes "nice"

  29. I love poems that make me laugh and then tell me to start thinking and stop laughing

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *