For Anyone Who’s Been Told It’s “Just A Phase”



– [Both] I just got a Tumblr. I do not understand Tumblr. – Don't really know what a 'note' is. – Don't really like the
feeling of being followed. – [Both] By strangers. – Why do they call them 'followers'? – Can't we just be friends? – [Both] I have 81
followers, mostly strangers, and they send me messages that say, – Thanks for the reblog, but, – [Both] What's with all that
feminist spam on your feed? – I did not respond. – You were so pretty with your long hair. – [Both] Did you really
need a queer haircut? – I did not respond. – My grandmother, who's
been taking care of me since I was a kid, found out I'm gay. But she keeps telling me I'm
just going through a phase. It's really getting to
me, what should I do? – [Both] P.S., I like your poetry. Phase, noun: a distinct
period in a process of change or development. – I am seven years old
and leaving a play date from Samantha's house. I give her a kiss on the cheek and both of our mothers swoon. I am seven years old
and leaving a play date from Michael's house. I give him a kiss on the
cheek, and his mother says, – [Both] Now, that's enough of. Phase, verb: to introduce
in gradual stages. – I was 22 years old when
I began dating a woman for the first time. She pulled me in from the
starless, darkness I'd been drifting through and I
watched as all my insecurities burned up in her atmosphere. Her name is, – [Both] Phase, verb: to
remove in gradual stages. – In high school, I knew this painter. A cocksure comet with a confident, smarter-than-you smile that
showed no signs of burning out. A hopeful romantic, who
always wanted to exchange portraits for poems, and I'm
afraid if I write him one now, it will sound too much
like the suicide note that he did not leave, signed, – [Both] Phase, verb, the
process of waxing and waning. – [Girl] It takes the moon 29 days to orbit around the Earth. – [Both] Appearing to us only in fractions of it's full self. Phase, verb, to illuminate the darkness. – And what are we really ever doing? – [Both] If not constantly
trying to find a light, when they tell you your
love is just a phase, – Tell them you do not
like the word 'just.' – [Both] You are not 'just' anything. – Do not bury your demons on
the dark side of the moon. – [Both] Instead, phase
hate out of your sky. When they treat your love like an eclipse, – [Boy] Like it means learning to live in someone else's shadow. – [Girl] Like it deserves
to be black hole swallowed because it burns too bright to look at. – [Both] Do not let them. – Do not align yourself with someone else's access of expectation. – Do not fight your own pull. – [Both] Trust in your own gravity. We are closer to the stars
than they will ever be. – And if anyone ever tries to tell you that you love wrong. – If anyone waits for you to
backwards become yourself. – [Both] Treats your
queerness as anything other than the infinite universe
of beautiful possibilities that it is, tell them that you're sorry that they'd rather live in darkness than learn to love your light, learn to love your flicker,
flash of radiation, learn to love you full moon. – [Girl] And even on
the days when you hang just a sliver in the sky. – [Boy] When it feels like
you're holding on for dear life, to this rock, like you
are in a death-grip tango with the sun. – [Both] Hold on. Because I've seen people
I love starve themselves out of the sky. – Her name is Sarah. – Signed, Andrew. – [Girl] My starry-eyed girl
and her constellation kisses. – My man in the moon in his ghostly glow. – [Both] I still don't understand Tumblr, but I consider us friends. Thank you for sending us
your secret satellite. We promise it did not get lost in space. P.S., we hear you, loud and clear. (slow, dramatic music)

29 thoughts on “For Anyone Who’s Been Told It’s “Just A Phase”

  1. Thank you, for my heart of shattered glass might put itself back together in the world of phases, your words may help my soul stay true and the invitation of death may be less tempting than the joy of life. I know this poem will be lost in the sea of comments and teardrops of all of those who have been trying to fight and love in peace, but to those with the slim chance of reading this now, your hearts are your way-finders, stay true, and when they seem broken, remember the things that make you, you, and bare your love and mind proudly, because they are what makes the world turn round.

  2. Omg thank you! My parents keep on saying “it’s just a phase” and I really don’t think so like literally I like girls and I’m proud of myself

  3. They obviously have never tried tumblr
    Tumblr is like the gayest website ever

  4. Collection
    The City Hall Angel 
    likes the way I move in 
    an orange jumper with
    a sash that’s a tad
    loose and a dull trash
    spear. Every foam
    and wax paper cup,
    every aluminum can 
    that ever made me 
    throw up — I drop
    at his naked feet. He
    takes the spear from
    my trembling fingers.
    The point, now sharp,
    lingers for a moment
    then plunges over 
    and over, poking 
    connect-the-dot 
    portraits of the guy 
    I was in love with
    at the time of drinking
    or, if I was alone, 
    random wounds

  5. I have watched this video like once a month for the past 2 years! It still makes me cry every time!

  6. Playing drums was my phase. Anime was my phase. Greek mythology was my phase. I struggle to even call those phases, because they still stick with me to this day in some capacity. But I've always felt this way. I've always known I wasn't a girl. My disgust at dresses and skirts. When I'd play as Dan the warrior and never Danielle the princess. When I'd pick the boy characters in video games. When I avoided mirrors for years because the person looking back wasn't me. When the little boy at my brother's birthday party though I was a boy and I felt strange correcting him. When I got so excited over drawing someone who's gender I couldn't see. When I first heard of singular they. When I got so exited at the idea of people not seeing me as a girl or boy. When I screenshoted a picture of the nonbinary flag last August and decided to figure myself out. When I went to homecoming wearing a tie. When I came out to my trans best friend. When I started going to the gsa as Dan. When I cut my hair and saw myself in the mirror for the first time. When I came out to my parents. When I started seeing a psychiatrist. When my psychiatrist gave me a more certain diagnosis of gender dysphoria than my ADHD. When I got my first binder. This has been here my entire life. This isn't just a phase. My entire life cannot just be a phase. This won't pass, mom. I know you see a lot of your gender nonconforming teenage years in me, but this isn't the same as you cutting your hair as an act of rebellion. This isn't the same as you thinking that you'd never want to get pregnant. This isn't the same as your style of clothing as a teen. I've always been this way. It's just taken me fourteen years to find the words to describe it. And I'm sorry Lior can't have an older sister. I know having two girls was important to you. But I'm still gonna love Lior with all my heart, and if anything this has brought us closer.

  7. I came out to my dad=acceptance My mother=“it’s just a phase” She doesn’t know I’ve felt like this for 2 years and got a girlfriend.

  8. My family rather have a suicidal daughter than a happy son. This video got me threw these years and still does. To the people that need this, you're beautiful/handsome. You are wanted and needed. It may be terrible right now but at least it's not yesterday and your one day closer to whatever you want. I hope you have a good day. Goodbye.

  9. I've listened to this on and off for around a year. I love it more each and every time. <3

  10. If YOU k is it’s not JUST A PHASE its NOT don’t let ANYBODY tell you ”ITS A PHASE.”

  11. I love this I've been told this by my friends and this is just so beautiful I just can't stop listening to it 👬👭👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩

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