Heartbreaking | Spoken Word Poetry | Ahsante the Artist

I can’t say I didn’t see it coming
I knew for months that you’d go running They always do
People are never permanent They drop the other shoe I had months to disentangle
To emotionally prepare To block and barricade my heart
so that you wouldn’t see it bare But I care too much And it’s only but a scratch
A few stiches and it will be fine And because I did see it coming
I can’t say it hurt as much as it did last time I know that this isn’t about me
I know that it never is We both need room to grow
As you concluded after a thorough analysis of the situation No hesitation make the cut swift
re-open the wound that could barely heal puncture the abscess stinging the silence
scarring the proof that your absence is real I wish it just rolled off my back
But it still hangs in the air A sticky akward humidity
Sewating the small parts of you not there Cause I care too much But history repeats itself and
I figured then as I must now Some way to carry on without you
Although from here I can’t see how I can’t see beyond closed doors
And I can’t help the passing time So I hope your future’s lovely
And I’ll have to live with mine Hey, It’s Ahsante I care a lot about what I do, and I care a
lot about who I do it with But there are a lot of life circumstances
beyond your control, that can change either of those two things. I recently got the advice, particularly with
regards to the 9-5 world, to not care too much, because you get attached to things and you
want the company to do well and you have a vision for that, but because it’s usually
not your company, someone can take your project in a different direction, or take it away
entirely. Bloop you thought. I’ve also heard this about the world of
design, particularly as someone with an artistic background, when your designing something,
you put yourself into it and you become attached to it, it becomes your baby, but you have to be willing to let your brilliant
ideas go. Particularly when you’re working for a client,
if what you made isn’t what they need, you have to be able to scrap it and go back to
the drawing board. It may feel like your baby, but you can’t
do the mothering for someone else’s child. You can try, you can help, but ultimately
you don’t have custody That’s partially why I like having this
channel, and it’s completely independent and mine. So I can pour everything into it and it will
love me back, please love me back, please someone love me back. But there are very few things in life that
you can completely control. There are very few people in life that you
can control. (As an aside) Including yourself sometimes. If an idea isn’t completely yours and totally
for you, then as much as you may love it, you sometimes have to let it go. As hard as it is to let go of work and ideas
and creative projects, it’s even harder to let go of people you care about. But whether it’s a best friend moving away,
or a childhood friend that you’ve drifted apart from, or a significant other moving
on, there’s often nothing you can do about it but write cathartic breakup poetry. People come in and out of our lives. Buttons come and buttons go. Not caring to much is reasonable and logical
advice. It allows you to approach things in a level-headed
unbiased manner. It protects you from getting your heart broken
or your feelings hurt. But it’s also incredibly difficult advice
to follow. Because humans are in essence emotional creatures. We love to love and be loved and sing about
that love (almost bursting into song) and then listen to songs that have been sung about
love. And when you put your heart out on the line,
when you pour your soul into your work, when you emotionally invest in the people around
you, the result can be absolutely wonderful. And wonderful things and wonderful relationships,
even if temporary, can be worth the risk. It’s less logical but more satisfying, and
it’s why heartbreak is a part of being human. In the comments let me know, when you’ve
gotten your heart broken? Is it going to be a sad comments section? Or rather tell me the things that you love
to love. If you’re new make sure to subscribe so
you don’t miss new videos. As a note I’ll be taking a break from this
channel until 2018 but if you join my email club you will get another video this month,
it’s free to sign up and there will be a link in the description and in the video. As always remember to live spiritedly and
think creatively, and I will see you next time. What’s making me happy this week is all
of the lovely comments that I got on my last video, even when I was struggling to make
a video. Expressing that sort of creative struggle. That went well. Even the no video video went well so, thank
you guys. What’s also making me happy is that I finally
got Turtles All The Way Down from the library. Yes! This book has always had 100 people on the
wait list for it. Every time I’ve checked it’s always been:
you are blank out of 102 holds. So I finnally worked my way up, worked my
way up, worked my way up, and I got it. So I haven’t read it yet, but I’m looking
forward to it. What’s also making me happy is that I came
across a webseries by a group of Black Yale students, whoop! Increasing the visibility of Black students
on Yale’s campus, promoting diversity, and just featuring some profiles of notable Yale
students. So it’s always great to see other Black Ivy
Leaguers doing their thing. And if you want to check that out, I will
leave a link in the description. She said goodbye too many times before. And my heart is breaking in front of me, cause
I have no choice, ’cause I won’t say goodbye anymore.

26 thoughts on “Heartbreaking | Spoken Word Poetry | Ahsante the Artist

  1. It’s hard to let go of projects you care about. It’s even harder to let go of people you care about. But situations change, projects end, and people go in and out of our lives. Heartbreak is just a part of being human.

  2. "102 holds?!" My goodness! If it's that popular, it sounds like something that you, maybe, ought to buy.

  3. I love this. Im the kind of person that feels a LOT and have had a journey accepting and freaking loving that im an emotional cat that goes hard. Id much rather let myself love and feel what i feel than detach in case shit lets me down. 😘

  4. It's weird, I think I've gone through life not letting myself get too attached to friends with the knowledge that we probably wouldn't go to the same schools on the future and the feeling that everything was temporary. That didn't really change till like, my senior year of college last year when I realized that a lot of my close college friends actually wanted to keep in touch and that there's no reason that I can't move to the next stage of my life with from from previous times. I have had heartbreaking friend break ups before that involved middle school girls being very dramatic and not knowing how to communicate properly. I'm still trying to find a balance between letting friends that are taking more of me than they give back stick around too long and cutting off cool people before I get the chance to find out if we could be really good friends. I just finally finished my fall semester yesterday and instead of going home and holing up with my family I'm taking a short trip with my friends before the holidays to see Wicked and I'm realizing that there doesn't have to be heartbreak or drifting while everything is transition if I put in a little effort and let myself care as much as I want to

  5. "It's less logical, but it's more satisfying. And it's why heartbreak is a part of being human"
    This stuck very close to my core. When I was 9, I lost my mother to cancer. Because of that early heartbreak, I have always been guarded. I am hesitant to be anything but cold, logical, detached, and unfeeling. I was too young to stitch myself back up when mom passed away. All I could do was build a wall around my bleeding dragon of a heart and keep everyone away from my scorching pain.
    But over the past few years, my family and two closest friends have been carefully dismantling my wall. They have helped me to open myself back up to the world. I have accepted the pain of losing my mother, and I am prepared to have my heart broken again. I know now that I cannot hide from heartbreak without sacrificing emotion and human connection. I have chosen to live dangerously. And that is illogical, but it is also intensely satisfying.

  6. i often feel like that usually when I keep saying to myself i dont care i dont care its usually when I care the most but I guess we simply have to allow ourselves to care even if it hurts sometimes caring isn't all that bad especially if its about sth important for you sometimes we just need to cry before we smile or our tears will make us drown from inside

  7. Buttons come and buttons go. πŸ™‚ I kinda want that on a t-shirt. Also, and this is a slight tangent, but this video reminded me of how passionate I am about lots of different things (mostly social justice), and how it can get really draining when terrible things keep happening over and over and over. But at the same time, I would much rather be passionate about stuff and people and engaged in the world around me than not feel passionate about anything. Caring can get exhausting, but that's where self-care comes in. You are allowed to take a break.

  8. This video was really great and it was a sweet way of framing this artistic conflict.

  9. i got my heart broken a couple of months ago and it honestly felt like it was being ripped into pieces that could never be mended again, but here i am! stitched my own heart up this time – so i can be sure the strings will hold.

  10. Buttons come and buttons go…but where do they go. And how many spare buttons do we have scattered in various drawers throughout the house?

  11. Here's some love back! Your channel is great. πŸ™‚
    I appreciate your sage advice and brilliant poetry. Also, good luck with the stitches. Heartbreak is no fun.

  12. ahh I love this – especially the recognition that it's okay to care a hell of a lot!! also yes omg so lovely to see the now in color shoutout!

  13. Oh wow. That poem. Sheet. Thank you.
    ::loves you back::
    Honestly though… I'd say it's worth it. Like, I still miss friends I lost nearly 10 years ago. But it's worth it for all the happy times I've had with them. Even about projects, I don't think I'd still have quite the fond memories of some things I did if I hadn't been fully invested. But that might just be me, valuing some great memories more than a lot of painful ones. (Generally)
    So yeah, I love to love my friends. And at the same time I'm always paranoid I'm overdoing the love and being too clingy…
    Yaaaaaayyyyy library!!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ You just made me happy by saying that :3

  14. Buttons come and buttons go.

    It's a good advice for me. I have been getting a little attached to my 9-5 and for no reason I feel obligated to make things better there. It's because they pay me and are investing in me right now so that I can work better for them in future. So, if I take the investment and just leave later on, am I doing right? It took me some time to figure this out. I needed to go a step back and think in larger sense, I am taking from this world and need to give it back to the world, and not necessarily through my work in same organisation. Oh, I just intended to write 'buttons come and buttons go' and look what I ended up writing.

    Cheers to life!

  15. Absolutely loved this video, both the poem and the talk were great and really moved me. Got my heart broken a few months ago, but it still feels like it's happening again and again, now and then, when certain thoughts or memories come around the corner. But hey as you said, that's part of the experience of being human so I gotta find a way to live with it somehow! Thanks for everything you do

  16. I'm thrown off by the thumbnail because I don't know if "I could care less" in this context actually means "I could care less" i.e. caring some nonzero amount or "I couldn't care less" i.e. zero caring.

  17. A close friend recently moved away and we ended up having a falling out when we tried to arrange to meet up. I thought this was minor and our relationship was strong enough to get over that but when I messaged her again she said that she thinks it's better if we don't meet up. I don't understand why she would willingly throw away our friendship like that. It makes me think that I shouldn't be as free and open with people early on because I just get hurt.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *