How can I love those who have hurt me?


I used to be a doormat I lived a lifetime as a doormat and it still rears its head and I truly believe that what makes a doormat is when you are super sensitive super empathic and you also have very low self esteem so the combination of being an empath and having really low self esteem can truly make you what I call a downtrodden empath so then and that’s what makes you a doormat so when you are a doormat a people pleaser and then you follow spiritual conventional spiritual teachings which is exactly what I used to do it can and this is what I want to look at yeah it can turn you into a true doormat so I still get letters from people oh and by the way as I’m speaking I’d love for you to tell me not only where you’re from where you’re tuning in from but also do you relate to being a doormat do you relate to being a people pleaser and being a super impact now a people pleaser is somebody who worries more about what everyone else thinks what everyone else wants and what pleases everyone else than themselves a people pleaser is someone who’s unable to say no even at the cost of your own energy your own time you find it hard to say no because you don’t want to displease other people you don’t want to disappoint other people that is what a doormat is and that is the person I used to be probably my entire life so I wasn’t that smart because I literally had to die to to learn that I didn’t have to be that but I digress and I know all of you tuning in are probably a lot smarter anyway we talk spiritual teachings and teach us that we need to love people unconditionally it’s very spiritual to love people unconditionally because we are all connected and love another is the same as not loving yourself in theory yes that is correct in spirituality that is correct but let me get into this a little bit deeper from a different angle so I get people very often writing to me saying that they’ve been hurt they’ve been hurt very badly by people by a spouse a partner someone else but they’re trying to forgive them they want to forgive them they want to love them that person unconditionally so people ask me they write to me and they say please help me to love them unconditionally help me teach me how I can still love them unconditionally teach me how I can forgive them because I’m still in pain I’m still in I’m still hurting so here’s the thing with me I always start by saying you have to love yourself unconditionally if you are connected which we are we are connected to everybody we are an expression of God all of us are it starts with loving yourself unconditionally so if you can love yourself unconditionally then you know so the first thing to do in order to love yourself unconditionally though is to take care of the pain and the hurt that you are feeling within yourself and to heal that and not be so concerned about forgiving them and trying to love them unconditionally that will come later I’ll get to that in a minute so the so step number one would be in not judging yourself for not loving them unconditionally for having hurt you and also you to not judge yourself for not being able to forgive them yet don’t judge yourself for that what you need to do is you need to learn to love yourself unconditionally and the way to love yourself unconditionally is by not judging yourself by acknowledging to yourself like you are your own little child that I have been hurt I need to soothe my pain I need to do what it takes to take care of myself first I know a lot of people who still try to appease the person who has hurt them who still try to make them love them they say oh my god what am I supposed to learn and they still go after them saying trying to love them unconditionally and forgive them so that those people will still love them back but no no no no that is what makes you a doormat don’t worry about loving other people unconditionally that’ll come later and I’ll tell you how to get to that the first thing that your first step is to love yourself unconditionally here’s another area that’s a minefield for so many of you that are impacts and people pleasers social media social media so when you post something imagine this you get like ninety nine positive responses but you get one negative response are you the type of person to focus on that negative response and make that and allow that negative response to spoil your day that one critic out of a hundred and you focus on that critic than you think how come they don’t love me I’m gonna make them I’m gonna love them unconditionally until they love me and your whole focus goes on them and what happens those as you’re focusing on their negative response your energy levels go down and you spend your whole day focusing on that negative response and you feel worse and worse about yourself and you turn yourself into a doormat so here’s how you love yourself last week I spoke about imagining that you’re a light bulb and I spoke about how if you are a light bulb and if you haven’t seen last week’s video after you finish this video please go back and watch last week’s video because I speak about your energy and about recharging your battery so if you imagine that you are a light bulb and you’re a light bulb that runs on a rechargeable battery every times something drains your battery like when somebody hurts you when someone hurts your feelings when someone doesn’t treat you with love or respect and or someone doesn’t show you affection or when you focus on that critical that criticism on social media all these things drain your battery as your battery gets drained that light bulb gets dimmer and dimmer and dimmer if you allow yourself to love yourself your only job is to love yourself as you love yourself what you are doing is you are charging your battery and I’m going to tell you how to do that in a moment but as you charge your battery your your light gets brighter and as your light gets brighter you brighten it up for everyone else around you and because we’re all connected they feel the brightness of your light and so unconditional love means other people being lit by your light you don’t physically have to go and spend your energy saying I go to work at loving that person unconditionally I go to work at forgiving that person no no no no that’s the old paradigm that’s the paradigm that drains your energy and your battery all you have to do is charge your own battery so that your own light shines bright so that you don’t even have to think about the people you don’t even have to figure out how do I love them how do I forgive nothing just by your life being bright you are going to enlighten the people around you you won’t discriminate because you will be having fun charging your own battery that’s all you have to do is find your joy and your passion to charge your own battery and I’ll be more specific about that in a moment but your only job is to shine your own inner light so others get lip or get illuminated by your light you won’t discriminate because you’re so focused on your inner world and shining your life you don’t care who gets touched or enlightened or illuminated by your life just like the Sun the Sun doesn’t choose the dust Sun the Sun doesn’t say oh that person didn’t forgive me so I’m not gonna shine my light on them no you’re just gonna focus on shining your light now here’s how I do it and I’m gonna share this with you this is my mantra and my mantra is I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me that’s my mantra and I write that everywhere so I would love for you to adopt it as your mantra I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me when I only engage with people who are loving and appreciative towards me it charges my batteries so when I’m on social media I engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me when I create these videos I created for the people who are loving and appreciative towards me I everything I do is because it’s for the people who are loving and appreciative towards me because they charge my batteries and for me creating and sharing these videos brings me a lot of pleasure it also feeds me and nourishes me from the inside but I hear back from you that it helps all of all of you it helped so many of you and of course there will be people who will be angry or annoyed or who will click dislike or do that thing but that’s okay that’s more about where they are of course there will be critics but I’m not going to focus on them because that will discharge my battery and when my battery goes down my light goes dim and it affects me and also all the people who I encounter all the people who I create videos for so it’s really as simple as that so you know the first step is just to know to recharge your batteries recharge your batteries that’s all you have to do step two is to make the commitment that you will only engage with people who are loving and appreciative towards you and then step three is to realize that because we are all connected when you are charged when your energy is high when your life is shining brightly you are automatically sharing it with everyone around you you can’t help not share it as I said it’s like a light bulb you don’t have to do anything you don’t have to forgive people or learn to love them unconditionally no your very presence like a lit light bulb will lighten them and that is your gift to them and to the universe it’s as easy as that so anyway I want to hear from you I want to hear your questions and also if you if you felt that what I said was really helpful I would love for you to share this video with anybody who you think would that it would help and I also love to know where are our viewers or our listeners I’m turning to my husband to ask him and oh and by the way I just have to share this this is a new mug and we’ve created some portable quotes my social media manager milena has helped me to design a bunch of merchandise and so if you feel called I’ll include the link in the comments under the videos but I love being reminded of a lot of the things you know I create my own mantras just like I did that that I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me I like creating my own mantras and I like keeping them around me as reminders so where are the people writing in from oh I’ve got people saying hello from New Zealand that little people saying hello from Australia I’ve got people saying hello from California Monica says a love from Chile yeah south america you’re up pretty late I think it’s pretty late in South America but thank you for tuning in Monica and also the people from California Olivia says hi from Australia hi Olivia Jack says he’s from New Jersey oh wow New Jersey that that’ll be like 12:00 midnight or after thank you for tuning in and so please you know if you’ve got any questions or if you want me to clarify anything I’ve just said I’m happy to do that Maria says do you think that when people trigger us it’s a sign that we need to heal an aspect of ourselves you know I wouldn’t focus – it’s a great question Maria thank you um I wouldn’t focus too much on what its triggering or what it’s trying to heal and usually when something is triggered in us it means that we have a button but I and forgive me because I know this might go against what a lot of spiritual teachers teach but I have spent a lifetime before I was sick in constantly trying to work out what is the lesson what am I supposed to get from this what does this mean I’m kind of done with all of that all I do today is focus on just charging my batteries and doing things that keep my batteries charged that’s all I do that is the reminder I of course it doesn’t mean I’m able to do it all the time but that is all I remind myself to do of course I get sucked down the rabbit hole every now and then and I and I see a negative comment and it drags me down or somebody triggers something or pushes a button but the one thing that I would that I consciously try and do to climb out of any kind of hole or pit I’m in is to remind myself like all I have to do is to charge my battery so that I get energized again so that my light is shining bright again what does it take to do that apart from engaging with people who are loving and appreciative towards me I ask myself what would bring me joy right now what do I feel like doing what do I love to do who do I want to spend time with who makes me laugh what is fun for me and so things like that like it’s it’s really to get back into that uplifted mode again and I want to say here and this is not related to your question Maria this is just generally because we are all connected many of you have heard of the term entrainment I mean I use it sometimes it’s like when you’re when your energy is high and you walk into a room with people who have lower energy their energy goes high because you your energy is high but if you don’t know how to keep your energy high if you’re not aware of how to receive how to find your joy how to only engage with people who are loving the danger is you start to get drained because other people’s energy is low and if you’re constantly second-guessing yourself in thinking they’ve pushed my button what am I supposed to work out here what am you know then your energy gets depleted and you’re down there again with everyone else instead of being the one to uplift everyone so when we are able to keep our energy high of what serves us and what serves everyone around us is to continue to keep our energy high and not buy into the beliefs that are going to make us second-guess ourselves and and drain ourselves and try and work out what did I do wrong what’s the button with and get sucked down that rabbit hole that drains our energy because all that’s going to happen is we’re also going to be down there with everyone and the best thing that we can do for everyone around us is to inspire them by being the light by uplifting ourselves you help other people by uplifting yourself and by inspiring yourself and by inspiring them not by getting down to where they are not saying other people are down but if other people are stuck if they’re stuck and if they’re in problem if they have problems and issues and they can’t see through it the way to help them out is not by going in there with them but by shining the light so that they can come to where you are that’s the way to do it you don’t help anyone by getting stuck in the problems with them and I want to also add something here if you are a parent if you are a healer if you are a teacher if you are a nurse if you are a doctor half your work is done if you uplift yourself and make yourself happy and shine your own light and charge your own batteries because your light will help the people around you it will heal the people around you it will calm the people around you instead of constantly trying to figure out how can I take care of these kids how do I do this how do I heal this patient how do I help this person because if you go in tired stressed angry your patience your students whatever your children they feel that they feel that so you make their lives better and your own life easier by uplifting yourself because you take yourself wherever you go I gather we have another question well you also have a whole bunch of hey hi hello’s hi if I had a Moche as I press them all right here a bunch of people are saying hello to milena as well oh yes they’re probably waiting for her to come and actually do the phone properly I know probably saying milena knows what she’s doing at least Malaysian you come high from joy anime Oh Joanna you’re you’re awake at this time well yeah it’s pretty early it’s like 9:30 or so you know the surprise surprise shout out from either Shivani in Hong Kong Aisha oh my gosh that’s so Dee’s daughter my goddaughter I see yeah you have a question from Kimberly who says how do you disengage from negativity if it’s from friends or from family okay I’m gonna be pretty tough on this one um you have to you have to take time out and charge your batteries I don’t care what anyone says because you are no good for anyone if you get worn down run down whether it’s close friends whether its family whether it’s your own children you’re not good to anyone if you are depleted you really do have to take time out you have to take time out for yourself and do stuff for yourself and they will understand if they love you they will understand if they don’t understand then I’ll kind of I would have to reevaluate their value in my life because anybody who loves you will want you to do well anybody who loves you will want you to thrive they’ll want you to recharge your batteries they’ll want you to be successful they’ll want you to be happy and when you are happy and you bring your energy there it uplifts all of them remember that anybody who loves you wants you to be happy and the other thing is that life is not a zero-sum game you know very often people can get competitive and they can get jealous or envious if somebody is doing well or somebody’s successful and they’re not the thing that I want to remind people out there and this is not for you who asked the question but generally is that always remember life is not a zero-sum game and what I mean by that is that when you have winners then there doesn’t need to losers a lot of people play life as though there have to be losers in order to be winners that’s not the case if I do well it doesn’t mean I’ve taken away from someone else and in fact the better you all do the more inspiring it is for other people to do better so think of it this way don’t play small allow yourself to shine because you will be an inspiration for other people you’re not taking away from anyone by being successful happy healthy and joyful any has a question does meditation help you to recharge your battery yes it does so here’s the thing I know people who are really stressed about meditation and if you’re stressed about it then no it doesn’t help you to recharge your battery so here’s how meditation does work is that if you can really make your life more of a meditation then that is really ideal so in other words if I’m living the kind of life that is so stressful then I really need to take 20 minutes a day to meditate to calm down then I would really eight my life the fact that I need meditation so badly it’s like it’s the life isn’t healthy for me to need it that badly but what I suggest is take time out to meditate absolutely absolutely take time out but if you are finding that it’s stressful to even carve the time out to meditate you need to re-evaluate your life it’s not that you just need meditation you need to reevaluate your whole life because it’s not serving you and also meditation is not the only way to charge your batteries because that’s another belief that people have they believe that if they don’t meditate they’re less connected and so they put this judgment or stress on themselves that I need to meditate more I need to meditate more not necessarily you know if for some people going out for a walk in nature going to the ocean listening to music spending time alone playing with a puppy or their baby and it’s very meditative to have a baby fall asleep on you all these things can be your meditation and all these things are your way to connect basically it’s about charging your batteries when your batteries are charged you are more connected to your Divine self to your higher self to God to your expression of God you’re much more connected when your batteries are charged and that’s when the guidance comes through you and and your life actually works out a lot better and we have more questions we do indeed Colleen has a very interesting question how can I shut off a feeling other’s emotions you can’t Colleen unfortunately that’s one of the gifts and curses of being an impact but you can do things to take care of yourself so it is a gift being an empath people have judged it as a weakness being sensitive being empathic but it’s actually a strength and a gift and the world needs more of us not less it’s because there aren’t enough of us the world is in the mess that that it is in so Colleen what you need to do it’s not about growing a thicker skin you don’t want to do that it’s not about necessarily about having stronger boundaries but sometimes you do need them but it is about embracing who you are and realizing that what you have those traits are actually strengths and their gifts their gifts because they allow you to see the world in a very different way and for you Colleen for anybody so what you’ve described feeling other people’s emotions that is what being an empath is all about and what you need to do more than other people who are not as empathic you need to be more diligent about recharging your batteries you need to be more diligent about making the commitment to yourself that you will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative of you you will only engage with those now I know what people are thinking you’re thinking but I have kids to take care of and they’re not always loving and appreciative of me or I I work in a company where people are not always loving and appreciate of me but I have to go I have to deal with these people I have to deal with them but here’s the thing you have to deal with them but you will have the energy to deal with them and it won’t even feel like you’re dealing with them if you honor yourself enough to if you honor yourself enough to tell yourself I will only put energy and effort when people are dealing with me in a loving and appreciative way when people are communicating with me in a loving and appreciative way that is when I will respond to them that is how you teach people how to treat you secondly of course you have to deal with kids or relatives who are not loving and appreciative when your battery is fully charged you’re able to be present for those people without letting it affect you they won’t notice that you’re not being loving towards them because your energy is so full and overflowing they will feel your love too they really will just by your presence but your focus needs to be on only dealing with people who are loving and appreciative towards you and you will have so much more energy and light at your disposal for the ones who I’m not so loving and not so appreciative of you okay let’s do one more question okay this one is wrong you’re really gonna like Betty asks what can we do to end a lack of money haha okay so first of all um when you when Betty asked that question I wish there was some way to ask her when she says end lack of money I am going to assume that she means it for herself and she’s not talking on a global scale because of each of us were able to alleviate it within ourselves we would be in a position to alleviate it in the whole world and people are struggling individually and this is why it’s hard to alleviate it in poverty-stricken countries so I truly believe that when you charge your own batteries you can alleviate poverty within yourself so I’m going to share with you a little story while I am you know and while we’re on this subject so when I had the near-death experience and I came back from the other side and I couldn’t go back to the job that I used to have I just couldn’t work again at a nine-to-five job and my husband had lost his job as well because he had been at home taking care of me for months on end so there we both were with no job we lived in a beautiful apartment which we couldn’t pay for anymore so we had to move out of the apartment we I’ve been sick for the last couple of years we’d had huge medical expenses and all our money had been going to helping care for my well-being right up to my last days I mean literally we had hired a nurse to come to our house because I could no longer go to hospital and so on so now here I was healed we had no jobs very little money and had to move had to leave our apartment so one thing I want to say is that we moved out of our home but I noticed one thing and that was there’s a lot of shame with being associated that is associated with being poor always being broke so in addition to struggling with money there’s a lot of Seamus associated with and I found it hard to go back to the community that I used to be in because I didn’t want to go back to the to working a nine-to-five that I hated I couldn’t do that my life had more meaning than that and my husband we’d both been through this together we both couldn’t go back to that life at the same time we could no longer fit into our old community because our old community were community that were pretty affluent and we were no longer there anymore we were we have to admit we were struggling financially we were living months to months and we went and lived in a little humble cottage out in the country when nobody knew us which was great because it offered me a level of freedom and in that freedom I was able to find myself but here’s where it gets more interesting is that I found that as I got to know myself and I got to know what I love doing and didn’t like doing and what my oh you know what made my heart sing and what my passions were I was still finding the money wasn’t coming that was still a real struggle for me and I started to feel fear and this is another thing that gets in the way of making money it’s the shame of not having money it’s the fear of not having money I mean it’s a it’s a really heavy subject it’s the fear of it and also there’s a lot of judgment many of us can have judgment towards people who do have money so I would say remove the judgment to people who do have money because life is not a zero-sum game people who do have money doesn’t take away from those who don’t so anyway one day there was a man I met at an event and he was very interested in my near-death experience he was very interested to know the story and I told him the whole story and I told him how my dad on the other side told me go back and live your life fearlessly and so he said to me well have you and I said I think so and he goes so you’ve been living your life completely fearless Lee since then and I said well there’s this one little fear I’ve had and he said what’s that and I said it’s the fear of not being able to make money because I can’t go back to being that person I used to be I can’t go back to my old job I stopped I I have this little fear that the money’s not coming and I we can’t go on like this forever and I don’t want to be you know on the streets and homeless and living in a cardboard box and I I feel I didn’t come back to just live like that and die and go back again I felt there was a bigger purpose and it scares me that I have no money and this man he said to me he said your dad said to you go back and live your life fearlessly and you insult that gift by fearing not having money and I thought how well money is a pretty big thing and he said you know you saw your physical body heal against all odds it wasn’t supposed to heal you came back from the coma against all odds your dad never proved you wrong the universe never proved you wrong he’d never proved you wrong when you trusted it why can’t you trust it this time and when he said that it was like wow and he said if I was your dad I would say how dare you how dare you waste the gift by becoming fearful again how dare you waste that gift and I thought wow okay and it like it hit me it was like a lightning bolt so I went home that night and I you know I was telling Danny what happened and I said you know I’ve decided to be journalist about my situation I’m just going to not worry about the money and go do what I have to do as if the money is there and it was from there what happened was that a friend of mine invited me to come and share my story and to speak it and I realized that’s what I’m supposed to do and that was when Wayne Dyer discovered my story on the Internet and my book got published and one thing led to another but the first thing that happened was I had to lose the fear I had to lose the fear so that I could charge my batteries and shine my light and that is when we start operating on a different frequency and when you’re operating on a different frequency different things happen to you sorry that was such a long message I was planning that one for another for another video but since that question came and I loved the question I gave it to you this time so thank you all for your questions thank you all so so much I’m going to be back next week I’m looking forward to seeing you and if you are ever at any of my events I’d love for you to come up and say hey just check out my website for upcoming events and we have lots going on all the time so thank you all see you all and if you think my video is helpful to anyone you know please share and I’d love to hear from you in the comments thank you have a great week and bye

100 thoughts on “How can I love those who have hurt me?

  1. Hey I am your new subscriber. Dear you are a wonderful gift of God to all here. I am so inspired to hear from you. We always feel lack of money as obstacle in our life path. Which is not so true. A happy New year. I am a lecturer here in India, so good to see you lightening.

  2. thank you Anita, i was one beating myself up about not doing morning and eve spiriTual practices .

  3. Iโ€™m from Miami Iโ€™m so grateful for your experience and sharing with all of us to learn from it and get Enlighten from your Love. Iโ€™m starting to read your book. May God bless you everyday. Thank you for your love and teachings. Iโ€™m turning 63 years now on Jan. 6 2019 wanted to share a little from me.

  4. yes yes yes this is powerful ! unconditional love doesn't mean getting on knees towards those who are nay sayings see me dark it's the board in their own perspective,,,,,, I will engage with those who see the love which I Am Kay La Do they recharge my batteries ? Kay La

  5. True there is shame & then ppl accuse you of not being generous They don't get it I decide to live fearlessly in regards to all I am so gifted & blessed Kay La

  6. Your comment Rocks! The statement that began with, "If you're a parent, a teacher, a healer, etc…half Your Work is Half Done if you… " and then you spoke of lifting ourselves up, charging our own batteries, caring for ourselves, making ourselves happy. It was very well put. A lightbulb moment. How much harder it all is when we do not make us a priority!!
    Also, So well said was your advice on being fearless about money!

  7. What if pretty much no-one is loving and appreciative of yoy (people who are empaths often attract narcissists – both in family & friendships)?

  8. Such gratitude for all you do and all that you are. I really needed to hear this today. Much love

  9. Thank You-Anita & Danny for this inspiring video ๐Ÿ˜God Bless you both ๐Ÿค—
    Iโ€™ll be re-visiting a place next week where I lived out The Doormat phase of my life
    Will keep listening to this downloaded video if I start feeling drained
    Luckily I will be therefor only 4 days ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

  10. Thank you so much Anita ! You are such a beautiful example for all of us ! Thank you for your presence in this world <3

  11. Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive YOU: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses Love your enemies Matthew 5:44

  12. Hello Lovely
    I am jila from London
    I love you and inspire by you and your experience and your knowledge
    I just wished I could find you earlier
    anyway I extremely happy to know you now
    I always seek the truth and follow some spiritual teachers but you are the most honest and truthful I ever cross on.
    Good bless you more and more
    Thank you so much ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผโค๏ธ

  13. After meditation, idk why I attract negative attention from family members for no cause. It's not cause of the meditation. It's almost as if they need a supply I.e they want to absorb my light with their darkness after meditation. It's very difficult to preserve this peaceful energy. It almost feels like I'm being choked under the pressure for not responding to negativity brought by others. This is the part I reach out to higher power thinking to maintain peace. "LET IT GO, BREATHE, RELAX".

  14. Your advice is to the core truth. It is as clear and clean as a drinkable glass of cold fresh water. Your advice derives from innate knowledge. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

  15. Shutting off other people's energy can work against us. As empaths, it's like going against our own true nature. Empaths are quicker in attracting the energy they project. As empaths, when you reject your nature. You project that in rejecting other people's energy. Positive and divergent thinking can really help you attract positive people. See your empathic nature as a gift. It's a curse when you abuse it. 24:55

  16. thank you so much ….soooo helpfull,your videos…..thank you for your beeing and your work….it gives me sooooooooomuch engergy….< 3

  17. who do you spend time with ,how do you spread the love ? videos and seminars is not connecting with people ,do you have meeting and get to know people you are helping ?

  18. Yes I am a people pleaser ๐Ÿ˜€โค many people use me and treat me bad, my husband from 20 years treat me bad I live in Italy โค Thank you๐ŸŒนโš˜๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒบ

  19. WOW DEAR Anita this is such a Beautiful and Powerful message thank you so much!!!!!!! this really confirms what I been thinking for a long time and also I want to send this to my ex wife who just told me after 8 years of being separated she is still hurting about what happened between us 8 years ago so I will send her this video and I hope it will help her live in the present not on what happened wrong in the with me and her I must say THANK YOU SOMUCH THIS IS SUCH A BIG HELP IN MY LIFE I THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR YOUR VIDEOS YOUR BIG FAN DENNIS

  20. This video is one of my favorite in your videos ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’•

  21. Anita you really cleared the idea of being in love with oneself. Thank you so much ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

  22. How to stop people from stealing your energy. And or block people from hurting you spiritually.

  23. Thanks Anita. I have read your book few years back. I m really impressed by you since then. I relate to you a lot. I look for my answers on you tube videos made by you. I want to meet you whenever you come to India

  24. From Florida๐Ÿ๏ธ, I had to leave my spouse in order to see the right perspective. With distance and no contact, I was able to give myself permission to be my own best friend and be happy. I'll never go back. I'm only interested in being with those who support and appreciate me. TY, Anita:-)

  25. I used to be so empathetic that it even hurt physically! I remember breaking out in rashes after disagreements with colleagues, boss , or my close loved ones! Because I was holding back to keep peace! Not anymore! After an important incident in my life I began trusting myself more and see others for who they are , not necessarily negative but I live with almost no expectations from anyone or myself! I learned to let go of my love to keep people close or happy at my own cost!

  26. From Switzerland. Anita, I had a childhood very similar of yours. I surely am a doormat people pleaser and I seems quite impossible to love myself. Nevertheless, since I read your books and listen to your videos, it's like the thuth stroke my heart. So I am trying to go toward more love for myself… but it turns that I am so often sad… how to connect with joy… just pure joy…? Thank you so much Anita for being at my side day by day ๐Ÿ’–

  27. I am from P.R. but I live in Homestead, Fl. You just described me totally! Thank you!

  28. Hello Anita, I love your messages, quotes, etc. I read your book and have watched you on various TV shows as well as your You tube NDE. I'm so happy you are helping us with this You Tube message on How to Love. I am 72 years old, I presently live in Florida, but am originally from the New England area of the U.S.A. I am 4th to the youngest in a family of 14 and have always been a people pleaser. I have always tried to help my older brothers and sisters in one way or another, and I am now worn out. I don't think it's that I don't love my family members, it's that every time I am around them I feel terrible about myself and totally worn to a frazzle. These past 10 years I had a lot of illnesses and surgeries and I have not told my family about them because of the criticism I receive. This past year, I had to stay away from family, stay by myself to seek peace and quiet. I spend my time praying more often, meditating, and working part time. I find it is very helpful. Thank you for verifying the need for time alone to reconnect to God, to prayer, to meditate. Still, I feel a bit guilt about staying away from them. Please continue with your lessons in love of ourselves and others.

  29. Anita you are a bright light in this world. Just love you and appreciate all of your information.

  30. ใซใปใ‚“ใงใ€ใฟใฆใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ€ใ™ใฐใ‚‰ใ—ใ„ใฒใจใงใ™ใญใ€‚

  31. I am only engaged with people who are loving and appreciated towards me

  32. You make my day. Lovely words. Keep uploading videos. Thanks a lot

  33. I noticed that what Anita is talking about is almost the same with what basher says.
    (Basher is a alien.)

    Thank you Anita.
    I learned deeply from you what loving myself is.
    Thank you!!
    From Japan

  34. Thank you, Anita!!! I looooved hearing this! I love you so much! You have helped me sooo much<3

  35. I was a door mat…..
    Love listening to your words. ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒธ

  36. As always Anita – thank you! I always hear from you the message I need to hear to move forward. You came back as a angel and you emanate so much trust and integrity. You are very inspiring โค๏ธ

  37. It's a very inspirational video.. I learned a lot from it. Thank you..๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

  38. Absolutely, I do identify with your comments. As an older woman I lie to get away from negative situations or decline invitations, making excuses not to socialize or attend various events.

  39. Hello from Carol of Forida. I plan on sharing your videos with my sisters. Thank you so very much for your story, for your enlightening comments. You're so inspiring and uplifting.

  40. Thank you for confirmation that we are all a part of the creator source, heaven and hell are lies created to keep us dumbed down and enslaved.

  41. the shame that accompanies the loneliness…โ€‹
    I've never experienced one without the other…
    โ€‹
    my biggest terror in life is I will end up totally alone. โ€‹
    โ€‹
    no real friendships.โ€‹
    โ€‹
    no true love.โ€‹
    โ€‹
    alone forever.โ€‹
    โ€‹
    that fear is paralyzing.โ€‹
    โ€‹
    I do everything I can to avoid getting lost in the deluge of it (often times in very unhealthy ways).

  42. You are So right!
    Thank you for doing this with your so wonderful own way!
    God bless you!

  43. I am in the process now,, being sick with cancer, I am learning to love myself unconditionally, it's all about me. Thank you so much!

  44. I am thrilled to have found your channel! I just came across it in my youtube feed yesterday. I was fascinated by your afterlife experience that I had heard some time ago. I am very interested in the topic of this video. I sometimes find it difficult identifying and implementing a balance between caring for myself and for others. I would enjoy even more in-depth exploration of the doormat, people-pleasing, loving-yourself topic. I envision discussion of specific examples of situations and compare/contrast of people handling the situation when being a doormat and someone handling it in a healthier way that is more kind to yourself and others. And the thought process behind it.

  45. Those who hold grievances will forget who they are, just as sure as, those who forgive will remember.

  46. So beautiful! Loved your honest clarity around a lot of my concerns where the bookish knowledge does not match the practical life. Happy to have found you here after so many years. Although, I must admit that reading your book was a strong contributor to initiate me onto the spiritual path. More power to you dear. Lots of love. โœจ๐Ÿ™Œ

  47. You are speaking about my very own experience!!! I've been going through "emotional fatigue" because emotionally and energetically I over worry and am far too emotionally invested in what's going on in certain other people's lives. Their level of feeling ok or happy I treat perhaps too importantly to the detriment and neglect of my own life and priorities. Thank you so much for these incredibly helpful, insightful, and inspiring videos! I look forward to many more in the future!!!

  48. Thank you Anita You inspire me and give me courage . May you be ever blassed.

  49. actually i was very happy because of my first dislike lol (it seems I've made a lot of progress), very best regards from Zagreb, Croatia ๐Ÿ™‚

  50. But if your parents are narcisistic and sabotaged your life and health ? How to deal with them?

  51. I am watching this on YouTube. Very practical and realistic. I would like yo tune in when yoh are talking.

  52. Many ppl are โ€œtrainedโ€ and conditioned to be desperate and depleted, during long years of childhood. Because there are such parents with poisoned personalities who can really show you what the bottom of the hell means. Your teaching gives great guidance to those whoโ€™re wearing such scars of early terrible experiences.

  53. Dear Anita, may god bless you, greetings to you for delivering a radiant purpose to the human mankind. When anybody empathize n loves family and largely the humanity, its personal interest/ selfishness becomes barrier to reciprocate and for that matter, that person ignores him/ herself and approach, which directs and tend to neglect itself. It's true nย rightly said, if you have something, only then you can share with others, so first allow your conciousness to fill that feel for our own to overflow for others. This is how bliss is going to radiate everywhere.

  54. You are an absolutely amazingly person. So wonderful to listen to. ๐Ÿ’•

  55. Thank you. Good to hear that I can stop analyzing myself all the time. Needed this message.

  56. Many of my 3.4 (b) billion "Fans" from around the world ~ADORE~ me. And for good reason ๐Ÿ˜‰ Let this "Beautiful" woman (Anita Moorjani) teach >YOU< how to love yourself. But, remember. I'm more important than you. -Bill "Gracious One" Howes.

  57. It's so true what Anita says! When I think back to all the truly beautiful people I've ever seen. (Beautiful in spirit.) {There's not that many.} Looking back, they NEVER engaged in confrontation or any kind of negativity. They always see the "Positive" in their surroundings and forecasts. There's something to this LAW OF ATTRACTION "Thing". Thank-You Anita. -Bill Howes.

  58. If you're a sexy well-built woman with low self-esteem and can't say "No". Then, let's have sex. After which I'll allow you to watch this video on "Self-Esteem" building. -Bill Howes, Making America better by getting laid. If I'm happy I'll better serve you.

  59. Iโ€™m in Connecticut and I was a doormat. Iโ€™m learning how to protect myself. I am an empath.

  60. Hi Anita , you have made a huge impact on my life ! I watch your videos daily . You are a blessing to us . Thank you for all the light that your spread . Love you and so grateful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผfor you

  61. Beautifully said as you put it you waste energy trying to unconditionally love others: put energy into loving yourself and doing that will bring love to everyone around. Thank you again much love from los รngels

  62. thank you so much , i understand many things through yours Videos , you make it easy but really deep

  63. I so do recognize what you're saying! Trying to please everyone out of fear and questioning myself the whole time. I also came to the same conclusion: the hell with trying to love and forgive everyone, i have to put myself first. I don't have to keep seeing people that don't care about me, even if they are family. Even if the whole world thinks otherwise. This insight relieved me so much. There is a big trap indeed in "spirituality" concerning forgiveness. But in the Dao, i also found a verse about garding yourself like a fortress! This and your video are really heartening to me, as i get so much resistance in real life when i chose for myself (meaning recharging myself and not wasting my time anymore, i'm not going to live forever). Sadhguru also says you have to distinct between your actions and your being: in your actions you need to discern. In your being you can include everyone and everything (i'm paraphrasing). I'm not there yet, but i think, as you point out, it comes automatically when we concentrate on our inner wellbeing. I think you could also call this grounding. And if our foundation is strong, we can include more and more, and we can even forgive sadism and all the most horrible things humans are capable of. I don't know if you follow this metaphore, but i saw a video of "little Krishna", where he and his friends were attacked by a giant bull. He just swallowed it and they were saved from it. I thought this was a beautiful illustration of inclusion. I hope one day i will be capable of doing the same. Thank you for the mantra: "I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me". I'm not there yet, but i'm defenitely on my way. Keep up the good work!

  64. ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใŒใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
    ๆœ€่ฟ‘ใ€ใ‚ขใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚ฟใ•ใ‚“ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ใ€็Ÿฅใ‚Šใ€ๆœฌใ‚‚ไบŒๅ†Š่ชญใพใ›ใฆใ„ใŸใ ใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
    ใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใŒใ€ไบกใใชใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
    ๆœฌใฎๅญ˜ๅœจใ€
    ใใ‚Œใฏใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใ‹ใ‚‰ๆ•™ใˆใฆใ„ใŸใ ใ„ใฆใ€็Ÿฅใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚

    ใ“ใ“ใ€ไฝ•ๅนดใ‹ใ€
    ใšใฃใจ่‹ฆใ—ใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใŒใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ๆ—ฅใ€ใตใจใ€ๆฅฝใซใชใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ๅฎ‰ใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใชใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
    ใใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ—ใฐใ‚‰ใใ—ใฆใ€ไบกใใชใฃใŸ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใ‚’ใใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
    ๆถ™ใŒใ€ใจใ‚ใฉใชใใงใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€
    ใ‚ขใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚ฟใ•ใ‚“ใฎๆœฌใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ‚€ใจใ€ใชใœใ€ๅฎ‰ใ‚‰ใ‹ใซ็งใฎๅฟƒใŒใชใฃใŸใฎใ‹ใ€ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
    ใคใชใŒใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™ใญ
    ไฝ•ๆ•…ใ‹ใ€็งใฎๅฟƒใŒๅฎ‰ใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใชใฃใŸใจใใฏใ€ไบกใใชใฃใŸใจใใ ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใญใ€‚
    ใ™ใ”ใ„ไฝ“้จ“ใจใ€ๅคšใใฎๆฐ—ไป˜ใใ‚’ใคใฅใฃใŸๆœฌใ‚’ไธ–ใซๅ‡บใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใŒใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚

    ใŠ้‡‘ใฎ่ฉฑใฏใ€้ข็™ฝใ‹ใฃใŸใงใ™ใ€‚
    ๅคงๅค‰ๅ‚่€ƒใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚

    ใŠ็คผใ‚’ใ€่จ€ใ„ใŸใใฆใ€ใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚

  65. There is sooo much goodness and helpfulness in this video. I almost can't believe it. It's given so gently and smoothly, it feels easy but it's dealing with issues that people deeply struggle with. Sooo helpful.

  66. Yes…I,ve been an empathic doormat my whole life…Thankyou for this Video Anita ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒน

  67. You're such an inspiration to millions of people globally,I think I'm an imphath though I have so much to learn,people take advantage of the way I am,I'm mostly grateful to the universe for giving your life back.

  68. Thank you! Perfect collection of messages for me at the perfect time. Awesome. You are so kind to do this work.

  69. I agree that Sprituality and Religion can encourage one to be a doormat. But I disagree about being an empath. I don't think it's a gift. I think being an empath basically means choosing to feel or experience the negative consequences of someone else's choice to be negative, ungrateful or uncharged. I think empathy and doormat go hand in hand. It shouldn't be praised and I do believe you can and should turn that switch off because it's not self loving.

  70. Thanks for sharing your story. Much appreciated pearls of wisdom and insight.

  71. Where ate your pictures of you dead. Ate you selling a story to make money o did you really die?

  72. I had the same experience as yours, and I made life changes, but I found myself recycling because I didnโ€™t eliminate certain items like self – sacrifice / refusing to hold on to my wealth ( I give it all away ) ~ and I maximized my RELENTLESS GIVING & DOING, it took a tragic accident to stop me., for like a minute.~ Now, Iโ€™m taking care of me. Finally !! / Iโ€™ve heard of your book before, & of course I am a big fan of Wayne Dyer. ๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’‹ So glad I found you today, on YouTube. Watching from NYC. Love & Light ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ซ

  73. Thank you Anita! I just know you recently because my sister bought me your first book. I loved your book and then I started to search you online.now I cannot stop watching all your videos! These are really inspiring! I loved your mantra and I decided not being people pleaser anymore ๐Ÿ˜€ God bless you ๐Ÿ’•

  74. Thanks Anita! Sending Love from South-Africa : ) I love the part about the sun at 8:45 โค๏ธ "for he maketh

    his sun to rise on the evil and on the good,

    and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" – Matthew 5: 45
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbCBJ05gdwc

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