How to Change the Way You See Yourself | Rock Thomas | Goalcast

– I had to feed 22 horses every morning before I earned the
right to have breakfast. Imagine an 8.5-year-old kid
getting up in the dark in Canada and going outside and
opening the barn door, and I remember, there
would be like 30 rats every time I opened the barn door, and they would scurry around, and I would hope that none
of them would stay around. And, one time I went back
to the house and I said, “Dad, can you come with me?” And he locked the door and he says, “Go out and do your chores. And don’t come back until they’re done.” It was kinda the beginning
of me realizing that I wasn’t in a supportive environment. And I learned one thing,
and one thing only, is that if I was willing to work hard, then I could get my dad’s attention. I remember waking up, I was
about 13 or 14 years old, and this was the day
my dad had promised me it was gonna be yes. This was the day we were
gonna play together. We were gonna throw the
football back and forth, and I was super excited. I popped out of my bed
and I ran down the stairs, and I saw my father where he always is. His ankle is chained to the desk. But as I got closer, I
knew something was wrong. It was like I could feel there
was a heaviness in the air and I started to get nervous. And I went, “Dad?” And went, “Yes?” I went, “Uh, you ready to go play?” And the weirdest thing
happened is he turned, he looked at me, and I
felt myself shrinking down. And he stood up, and this shadow
cast over me, and he goes, “Do you have any idea what it takes to put food on the table?” Do you think that this roof
just puts itself there? Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know? One day you’re gonna have
to work hard for money. Now, get out and play on your
own before I put you to work.” And I turned around and I walked out, and I never asked him again to play, ever. I don’t have one memory of
playing with my dad, not one. The only way I connected with him was when he was working
around the house doing chore, I’d say, “Dad, can I help you?” I’d hand him the nails, or
I’d hold the measuring tape. It was the only way. He never once, he never
came to my hockey games. He dropped me off in the
car and stayed in the car. All the other parents
were tying the skates, I was there alone. I would try to score as
many goals as I could so I could go and then tell
him I scored the winning goals so he’d want and come
look, but he never did. I remember winning honors in school for academic achievement,
looking out in the crowd hoping to see my dad,
but he was never there. So the only solace I had was to work hard. So, I doubled down on that. And I worked hard. And, I’d call him out to
look at the task being done and invariably, it was never good enough. So, I doubled down again and work harder. It didn’t feel good at the time. But, in life if you do what is easy, life will be difficult. But, if you do what is
difficult, life will be easy. I got the difficult part out front. And I got really good at it. By the time I was 14, I saved up enough money to get a scooter. By the time I was 16 I had my first car. By the time I was 17, I
thought; you know what? I’m outta here, this sucks. I mean, I could go out and
make four times the amount of money living on my own even if I have to pay rent, I don’t care. So, I moved out, I drove a taxi. I did carpentry, I cut
lawns, I washed windows, I did anything that was hard work. Because that’s all I knew. Then, my life changed. I got a call from my stepmom and she said, “You’re dad has cancer.” So, I jumped on a plane and
I did everything I could. I took care of the house. He said to me he had some back taxes from Canada that were unpaid. I said, “Yes, I’ll pay them for you”. I did everything I possibly could. I remember the day I had to leave to back to take care of my family, I
had a young son at the time. And they had nothing left. And I asked my dad, he was
probably about 98 pounds, Laying in the bed, and I said, “Dad, can you think of a
time when I made you proud?” and I’m thinking to myself, my
god, there was a whole bunch. I was almost a millionaire by that time. I had done so many things, I had risen up, I’d opened a restaurant,
I’d learned a new language, I’d done so many things. This was gonna be the
time that was gonna go, “Of course son, let me read from a list.” But instead, he said, “Nothing that I can think of.” And I don’t know if it broke my spirit, or if I thought I’d hit rock
bottom I hit another layer, but when I got back home
actually, I was fired from my job, my marriage had fallen apart, I had no money left, that
I’d paid to support him, so got evicted from my
apartment, and I moved back in with my mom at the age of 30. So, there I am, 30 years
old working 16 hours a day for 20 years and I have
absolutely nothing to show for it, except maybe a skill
set on how to work hard. But, I’ll tell you what, when you’re down there and
think there’s nothing left, it’s the foundation to grow from. I thought, what am I gonna do now? And some little bird,
mentioned real estate. So, I thought I’d get into real estate. And I got into real estate
and that’s when I met my first mentor that transformed my life. I was in my office one night really late and I was having a
conversation with my mentor. And he walks in and he leans
against the door, and he goes, “You’re still here?” and I said, “Yeah.” And he goes, “you really
have a great work ethic.” And I went, “You talkin’ to me?” He said, “Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.” He goes, “You’re awesome.” I’m like, “Are you still talking to me?” I guess I never had anybody tell me that they believed in me. My father certainly was always, “You could do better. You could do better. You could do better.” Ya, it drove me, but it
didn’t make me feel confident. And I doubted it at first. And we started to talk, and he goes, “Oh, so you’ve labeled
yourself stupid, as a loser, and a skinny little kid.” He goes, “How do you feel about that?” and I said, “I still feel that way.” He says, “You’re 30 years old.” I go, “Yeah, I know.” But, I still felt that way inside. He says, “Okay, well,
we’re gonna change that. Who’s an idol that you have?” I said, “Well, one of my
favorite is Clint Eastwood. He’s like, rugged. I’m kind of rugged, I feel rugged.” He goes, “Perfect, how does
that feel when you say that?” I said, “It feels pretty good.” He goes, “That’s it! I want you to say that a 1000 times. A 1000 times everyday,
or more if you want. Loser out, ruggedly handsome in. So, now what we’re gonna do, is we’re gonna reprogram your brain. Your brain is like software,
we’re just gonna reprogram it.” I said, “How do I do that?” He goes, “Just every
time you have a chance, just say, I’m ruggedly handsome,
I’m ruggedly handsome.” He said, “The words that
follow I am, follow you, you just didn’t know it. You had shitty programming. But, now we’re gonna change
that and change that forever.” And I remember driving
home, I was so excited. I was so excited because I
could change my programming. I didn’t know it. I thought I was stuck
that way my whole life. And all I had to do was have the energy to put into changing the way I see myself. And it was so.. I just said it over and over,
I was screaming in the car, “I’m ruggedly handsome,
I’m ruggedly handsome, I’m ruggedly handsome.” I’d get up in the morning,
I’d say it over and over and over again. I’d say it as much as I possibly could. And then spontaneously, one
morning, I was in the shower and I said, “I’m the greatest
real estate agent in my area. I’m the greatest real
estate agent in my area.” I went from one sale in my first year to, in a few years, a 100 sales. I broke every record there was and then I bought the fricken company. I went from farm boy to financially free. I became resourceful, I
became capable of doing things I didn’t know I was gonna do. The most powerful force
in the human psyche is how we describe ourselves to ourself. Who’s giving you labels? You’re too short, you’re too tall, you’re quite, you’re introverted. You take on those labels, and you wear them like
they’re your persona. Then, you live into them. Like a role that you were given in life. You can rewrite that. You can make it whatever you want. Insert it and then program it. I am, I am, you are what? Gifted, guided, grateful,
powerful, passionate, playful, sexy, sensual, sensitive,
blessed, what are you? Today is the first day
of the rest of your life. You get to redefine
yourself, so who are you? And who do you wanna be? The words that follow I am, follow you. (intense music)

100 thoughts on “How to Change the Way You See Yourself | Rock Thomas | Goalcast

  1. You are a tough basterd! You are someone who has made the world proud!

  2. This hurts a lot because it describes my childhood and youth pretty well. Mum and step-dad only ever gave me any attention when it was about work. Then last year, I opened up completely and asked my step-dad what I could do so he'd hate me less. He flipped out. Then my mum was on the phone. Told her I didn't believe she was able to stay so calm. She said she was proud her husband protects her. (from me?) I asked her in turn if she was proud of me. She answered "she'd be proud of me if I behaved like her son." That was the first time I yelled at my mum in my life. It hurt a lot.

    I understand this guy's story. Graduated top of the faculty. Awarded a prize for my masters thesis in maths. My mum gave half-assed excuses that she wouldnt be able to come. Already at the high-school ceremony, her chair was the only one available because she had used my Dad's presence as a spontaneous excuse to not appear.
    It hurts when the parents of your friends tell you theyre sorry for you. It fu*k*ng hurts.

    If you have the time, please leave a comment. I could really use it, because I am coming out of denial after years of running away from my feelings and it is painful and exasperating at times.

  3. If I can't substantiate your claims then I can't take you seriously and will only bother to pay mind to those whom I can, case closed!

  4. Please. U do your chores, u eat breakfast. Animals on a farm make money. U have to feed them in order to make money. Quit throwing a potty party. Lots of kids worked on a farm or ranch for their family. It's family

  5. Why is his father not acknowledging or admitting to his son that he is doing wonderful in school. This is a pathetic father.

  6. Actually his Dad is a genius. Because of him this guy drove himself to achieve perhaps his dad had the forethought even on his deathbed to give him one more boost to top achievement. It’s all about perspective. So stop your winning you skinny tweerp.

  7. I know this won't help, because you sound far wiser than I. But it's not your fault. Your dad was an asshole. It was and is not your fault.

  8. I moved out of state for almost three years. I come back home and stay with my parents for a few weeks and at first my dad was smiling and glad I was back, just days later he was nothing but mad.

  9. I know it's off point, but thank you for making me a better father. I know my little 9 year old feels my love but I pray I continue to make conscious efforts to include him in everything. I would NEVER sit in the car while my boy was in a game sweating. I'm very sorry your dad refused to look past himself. You succeeded without him and that's ok.

  10. Your father's attitude had nothing to do with you, it probably was all he knew. Sadly it was his loss !!

  11. "The words that follow 'I am', follow you" THIS IS NOW MY NEW DIRECTION ❤️

  12. I'm sooo sorry that this man did not get the emotional support he needed so he felt the need to try to meet unattainable standards from his parent and always came up short … I can imagine this is very traumatizing…..

  13. I personally learned as an adult that a lot of times your validation is your own self reassurance that you know what you're capable of and can't no one tell you different a lot of times you have to learn to build your own character

  14. He is the only person that looks ruggedly handsome without eyebrows

    Jefree Star has left the chat

  15. if he dont have gf i will take him his strong attitude is so sexy
    all these comments suck .i m.proud of you everyone is and after hearing ur story we all believe in u and believe in myself

  16. I'm glad i grew up without a father. I'm glad i grew up in extreme poverty. I remember the day my mother left my father i was 7, he was a drunk and a wife beater. I remember having water in my goodwill shoes because they had holes. I remember being homeless more times in my childhood than i had a place to call home. I also remember waiting till nightfall so we could go ride our bikes to the local food bank so we could dig through the trash and pick our food around the mold, i was 10. Government assistance wasn't enough to feed a single mother and her children. All this has made me the father/dad I am today. My kids know not what a grumbling tummy feels like. When they go to their eye exams they leave with a fresh pair of ray bans. Their shoes, i buy name brand whether it be converses or pumas they choose. I vow never to fail them and show them unconditional love. Peace and God bless.

  17. His father's effect on him also seemed to also contribute to his failed marriage. Sad!

  18. I am 36, I have lost everything but this is my new beginning. I am rich , I earn and make 5000 USD a week. That's my new programming

  19. I don't remember a time when my mom hugged or kissed me – I have children now and I smother them with love 💘 – I don't ever want to repeat the way my mom was with me.

  20. What if you are too "weak" to move away from what destroyed you as a child? What if your pain is something you cannot live away from?

  21. Such an amazing story of overcoming what others would have him be and powerfully recreate his life.

  22. Why tf would you dislike this? How is it even possible? This man sharing his life, this man is motivating you, this man is motivation. Mad respect for him

  23. So sad. The father had an amazing son that many could dream of but he never understood it. Must have been very unhappy man.

  24. You only never say you're proud when they you're healthy and they're young. When on your death bed you should always be proud and tell them that unless they're dead or a criminal or homeless.

  25. Me: feels motivated for couple of minutes

    Few minutes later

    Watching random stupid videos on YouTube

  26. I think the father didn’t want to admit that his son was any good because then he would have no excuse for his inability to love him. Such a sad story.

  27. If you can’t tell your son you are proud of him when you die, you have failed not only as a father but failed as a supporter, a helper and a parent

  28. It is a good training ,earning daily food and drink from doing righteous. For you will be called the peoples of heaven.

  29. It's good that he learned responsibility at early age but having breakfast shouldn't be earned by a child. It's the parent's responsibility. His dad sounds a narcissist and this usually results to addicted and emotionally baggaged children. Good for him for going past his shitty childhood.

  30. Same like my dad ..
    I did High school Diploma and thought my dad will be proud but he wasn't then LLB Hons then LLM but he wasn't. Now in BPTC for Barrister but still says. . Your stupid and i dont know how you studied so much … thank you for this video..i will change myself fro. Today..

  31. It's really sad, but this guys father probably had a horrible father as well that was mean and bitter. Sometimes parents get too caught up trying to provide for their kids but they don't know it's the quality of providing not the quantity.

  32. This is so sad. How some people are treated this way. And the unfortunate thing is that not everyone can come back from it. This was very inspiring.

  33. This is the first motivational speech I have ever listened to. That was 3 months ago, I really didn't realize what message he was trying to give out. I only got emotional from the parts where he tried to get his dad to spend time with him but only got yelled at. I cried because I can relate to that my dad never spent good quality time with me. My dad would physically abuse me. Physical abuse didn't hurt as bad as verbal abuse. I still have that evil deep voice in my head of him telling me that I'm stupid, I will never succeed, I will never go back to school because of my bad choices. Right now I'm trying to win the abuse case. I believe that I will win. Now that he's out of the house I have felt very safe, happy, motivated. I will succeed and I will never give up because that little voice in my head is keeping me from succeeding. He also called me a screw up as I said but at the age of 13 years old that hurts.

  34. That was powerful. I needed to feel that and I did. I found tears welling up in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I appreciate you. Gracias!

  35. Wow that's literally what happened to my dad so he tries to be a better father than he had

  36. I could only pray for this man..I wish he only moves forward..may god always watch over him

  37. If his father told him he’s proud of him he wouldn’t of had motivation to push harder.

  38. I can relate to this guy so much, the only way my dad and I “bonded” was through working, we didn’t really hangout too much, I can count how many times he has said he was proud of me with one hand, growing up I always felt so small, like I never did enough because no matter what i did, my father always had a “but.” However I made the decision to make success my priority to prove to myself that I am not that weak low confidence kid anymore even though I’m 19, I too am planning on investing in real estate after I save enough money from an oilfield job I’m in the process of getting. I never realized how my dad had impacted me until I saw others just like that man who had gone through what I did and I thought “hmmm that sounds a lot like my father and I” I guess I always thought it was normal as I didn’t know anything else.

  39. Dads loss IM PROUD OF YOU how you have turned out after all that mental abuse.pls give back to people who have similar stories

  40. If you really think about it he never would’ve got to where he is if not for his father treating him that way and him trying to get his approval

  41. This niggas dad is the worst kind of person and deserves all the pain and suffering in the world.

  42. I just cried… I just clicked the video randomly and ended crying. I can't even believe it.

  43. I’ve seen a lot of motivational videos, but this one was the closest to making me cry.

  44. A lot of people watch these hoping to gain inspiration to do better in their life. What those don't realize is that you can't find it here. You find it yourself. These people are explaining that moment when they found it within themselves.

  45. Baby l know l heard that…
    chile he's preaching
    "lf you are down there n think there's nothing left,that's your foundation"…

  46. Who wants to play with someone who whines about every dumb little thing for attention? This is a grown man whining.

  47. I don't mean to sympathize with your father but… I could at the very least pick up he wasn't someone who know what love is or how to show it… People aren't bad… They just don't know the right way… You find the right way so walk on it and teach…

  48. This is the saddest video clip I have ever seen in a LONG TIME. I am so happy for his success but what his father did to him is almost unforgiveable.

  49. I did the difficult part and now i get to sit and watch the sunrise on a grateful universe

  50. Watch this video in Spanish over at Goalcast Español!

  51. When he moved away and started a family and made six figures, he was doing it to please his father, and guess what? His father still didn’t acknowledge all that he did and after he died, it all came crashing down. When he finally started doing things for himself, it sustained and he succeeded in real estate. Do not do things with the goal of pleasing or getting approval for others, it is a temporary fix. Great video!

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