I’m Out of Ideas

I’m a person who makes a lot of things. In fact, it’s what I want to do with my life; make things. Sometimes I can’t make things though. It’s just not happening in the brain and I’m just left there, sitting there, pondering my entire existence with frustration and anger. You know. This is usually followed my sadness and then restlessness after that. And then I’m back to anger. So. And that’s where we are now. *coughs* Gotta clear my throat. I’m a little hard on myself as a person, just as a general concept. If there’s something in anything that I make that sucks, I’m gonna see it. I’m gonna zero in on it and I’m gonna judge the whole thing based on that. It’s really confusing sometimes to be a person who always wants to make things but is then scared to make those things, do you know what I mean? I know I’m not alone in these feelings and I actually recently got a question about the issue of writer’s block and I wanna talk about it a little bit. This person identified themselves very similarly to me in that they’re a person who identifies their whole experience based on what they make. They have to be making things at all times to feel productive. It’s like, “woah did you send that anon message to yourself to make you feel popular?” Maybe. Maybe I did. I don’t know. Sometimes I forget. Here’s what I responded to this person, and I was actually talking to myself too. It’s okay to not make things sometimes. The way that I work on things is I’m “go go go” at all times. Eventually, that catches up to me and I need to have a few nothing days where I recharge myself. The problem with that is when I have those nothing days, I feel like utter crap because I’m not doing anything. And one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do is learn to accept my nothing days, to be okay with them. Because you can’t be on all the time, especially as a creative person. And if what you create is deeply emotional, you definitely can’t be on all the time. I think as someone in his early transitioning into mid-20s, I’m starting to see people around me get successful. I’m starting to see people get stable. And I’m starting to feel like I’m not doing enough as a person. This also happened to me at the end of high school. You see these people who YOU see them having it together, knowing exactly what’s going on, and then following through and doing what they’re doing. And I could be wrong here, but my interpretation of adulthood so far is that you’re always just guessing. You’re just guessing the entire time. You don’t know anything. And that’s true of every single person regardless of their financial standing, relationship status, perceived stability. Everyone is guessing. Nobody knows. If you were to go back 5 years and look at yourself, would you have ever predicted that life and the world would be as it is right now. No, because you can’t do that. That’s a scary thought. It scares me a lot, but I’m learning to be okay with it because that’s the reality. And all we can do is all we can do. We can work when we can work. We can head towards goals we set for ourselves. And when we don’t have the energy to do that, that’s okay. It’s okay. You can’t be on all the time. You can’t always have videos all the time. And so sometimes, you make videos about not having video ideas. It’s a little bit meta is what it is. I love y’all a lot. That’s about it for me. I’m gonna get off of here. And I will see you next time on Friday. I know! I’m embarrassed! There’s still no outro. There still is no outro. I know. I’m working on it. There will be one soon. If it’s not there on Friday, you have permission to demand I slap myself 10 times. That’s the deal. And I’m not talking about little slaps. Hard slaps. HORD slaps.

100 thoughts on “I’m Out of Ideas

  1. we're all just winging it. nobody knows! allow yourself time to breathe and it will be okay.

  2. this is so incredibly similar to +justmargaret and +blakerhiner 's latest videos about not having ideas or just not having drive. is this semi inspired by those videos?

  3. I see you with the chin thing. Is this a meta cake because this thing has layers 🤗

  4. Oh my god so many # relatable quotes tbh
    when I get writers block I do something that isn't massively productive but feels like I'm accomplishing something like reading or playing a video game or writing something down or drawing something cause it helps and it can also help drum up some inspiration for more things to make

  5. something my sister said to me (she's about your age Connor) "adults don't know what they're doing, they're just pretending they do. that's what being an adult is"

  6. something my sister said to me (she's about your age Connor) "adults don't know what they're doing, they're just pretending they do. that's what being an adult is"

  7. As a creator this spoke to me so deeply. I spend about half of my life in writer's block.

  8. This is so relatable to me! It is so frustrating. I want to create but constantly struggle to create. So thank you for this video.

  9. I honestly need this video right now. I always feel bad when I take time off from writing or drawing stuff. I feel like crap after a day of not doing anything, even when i know i need to rest that day. In many ways im much like you in this. Im sure a lot of us creative types are.

  10. I used to be a much more creative person than I am now but I just got a bit blocked then lost all confidence in what I could do so now am stuck wanting to restart but just hesitating with that first step.
    This video kinda helped?

  11. Usually this kind of meta, "I don't know what videos to make" sort of video come across as really whiny and boring and annoying and pointless, but you somehow managed to still be interesting and creative while talking about not being creative. You're such a quality youtuber man!

    Anyway yes its ok not to make amazing stuff 100% of the time, sometimes it's ok to lower the bar to 83% or whatever and that's all good 🙂

  12. Connor, it's okay that you don't have an outro yet. I have full confidence that you will finish it and put it in when you feel it's good and ready. Also, please don't slap yourself. It's okay if stuff takes time.

  13. I struggle a bit with the being on all the time a lot. Because whenever I'm hypomanic I'm very, very, very on and I kinda like that feeling of having so many ideas but then I don't finish anything or really get enough sleep or I skip meals. It's hard to force myself to realize, "Hey, no, you need to slow down. You need to take a break. You need to at least eat a sandwhich." But then I struggle with having no ideas at times and feeling, like, useless for it. So I get, like, both sides of that coin.

  14. I am much older than you are.. I am 41 and a single mom. There are times that I still feel like I know nothing and I feel like I'm guessing my way through life. I keep thinking I should have things figured out by now! But.. my boy is a healthy kid, we have a roof over our head, food in our stomach, and lots of love so I'm not doing too bad. I don't know if people ever reach an age when they don't feel like they don't know what the heck is going on heh. It is a myth of adulthood that you believe when you are younger!

  15. Speaking of stuff you have made, I loved seeing you in the recent Buzzfeed video. I thought you did great in it and also you're definitely now my internet crush if you weren't already before that.

  16. holy MOLY dude I feel this on. all of the levels. I'm one of those people who will make things that I like, and then go back and look at those things and completely pick them apart until I completely hate them, so then I just don't make things because I stop having the motivation. I'm sort of learning to be ok with not being able to make things 24/7? I dunno. great video, as usual. you get out that outro shit. 🙂

  17. Aptness of timing, my friend. I have a short writing assignment due this week, and even though the professor literally said "there's no wrong answer" I keep worrying that my idea is too cliche and overdone and boring and dumb and just keep not writing it because I'm afraid it won't be "right." As a result I haven't done very much for the past two days, just sitting and worrying and feeling crappy.

  18. I get the whole adulthood thing, waay too hard.. anywho, I loved when you played guitar dude.. If it's still something you do you should upload some of that from time to time 🙂

  19. Jiminy!
    This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Like, honestly, did you read my soul's diary?
    Thank you for this, Connor.

  20. "All we can do is all we can do." Please put this on a wristband or something so I can wear encouragement with me all the time.

  21. You should do a look book. I would love to see rock some of your favorite outfits. i don't know just a idea.

  22. You should do a look book. I would love to see rock some of your favorite outfits. i don't know just a idea.

  23. Yes I do know what you mean and writers block makes me feel very bad because my career to become requires me to make things daily

  24. I count how many things I've accomplished to judge my worth each day. There are days that I question my usefulness to society. You're right, we all need time off. But I usually use it to plan my attack of tomorrow.

    BTW, at 49 I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Being creative, I don't have a "job" and don't know where the next paycheck will come from. But I make it happen every time.

    I love your work!

  25. if you dont have the outro by friday upload 2 videos: the normal one, and one of you slapping yourself 10 times. that or put the slapping video in as the outro

  26. I would rather another "Dance Break" instead of you physically harming yourself. This way we enjoy your punishment and it's still hard on you.

  27. As a photographer I always feel like I have to post whatever I shoot which is not wise when I'm in a rut. So like you I have to constantly remind myself that I can't be on 24/7 and need to recharge every once in awhile. What sometimes helps when I'm in a rut with photos is I'll pick up a different medium such as painting. even though I'm a photographer 90% of the time cycling the mediums allows me to create constantly and not get worn out with one. bc sometimes not doing anything makes my creative block worse haha -Meghal

  28. I don't know if you're interested in musical theatre at all, but if you are then you should check out "Sunday in the Park with George", especially the song "Move On". It's all about the creation of art and comments on the feeling that one has "run out" of creativity or artistic value. One of the things that make it so special is that it shows how lessons about life and art intersect. These lyrics sum it up pretty nicely: "Stop worrying where you're going, move on. If you can know where you're going, you've gone. Just keep moving on. I chose and my world was shaken…so what? The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not. You have to move on". It's a really beautiful show.

  29. Talk about heteroflexible , bicuriousity and bisexuality differents please AconMan ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡

  30. It is OK to simply be.

    The people who "know", know nothing. Those who know they know nothing know.

  31. Thank you so much. Today was an alternating productive/nothing day and even when I was completely exhausted and needed that nothing, if I wasn't distracting myself with YouTube, I had this inner monologue of "wow, you're awful, must produce things all of the time" , so there really was no such thing as relaxation. This helped me realize that if I don't get every little thing done, I'm going to be okay. Thanks.

  32. I have tons of ideas, but a lot of times I'm worried that they're not good enough to make into videos, or that people won't enjoy watching them :/ So I just go for it and learn what works and what doesn't, and that's how you grow 🙂

  33. i have a lot of respect for a creator who can put something out even when their mind is blank. seriously, good job and keep going xx

  34. You should read "Standing at Water's Edge" by Dr. Ann Paris. She's a psychiatrist who looks at the creative and artistic processes of her clients over the years. She talks about the ebbs and flows of creative energy, and the natural progression between the creative and noncreative states, plus the things outside art that nurture our creativity. It's really an amazing book.

  35. Dem cut-aways! This was another super solid video, man. I can never have enough people reminding me that "everyone is just guessing." And it's true that when you're work is emotional in nature – for god's sake, it can be hard to be consistent because emotions just are not that way.

    P.S You looked even more fab than usual in this vid. Babe game on point…

  36. I RELATE SO HARD. I make stuff for work. I make stuff for my hobbies. I. make. stuff. And when I don't make stuff, I feel like a loser. And when I DO make stuff, it's so hard for me to put it out there in the world (I wanted to make YouTube videos for years and only started doing it last summer.) "Do nothing" days are wonderful but then I get antsy to make more stuff.

  37. Though I can't find it online because the interview was in 2001, comedic actor Mike Myers said something to James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio that has stuck with me all these years. He said something along the lines of —

    "I think of creativity as a cycle. First, you ingest a lot of stuff, bits and pieces of inspiration. Then you let them digest for a really long time – sometimes years. Finally, you make something out of them and hope that you're shitting gold bricks."

    For some reason, I find this perspective comforting. It means that the periods where you're not visibly producing stuff are still essential parts of the creative process. They too are fecund and full of rich possibilities – as long as you're ingesting lots of good, interesting ideas and inspiration. The breaks are when you take time to invest in the next round of production.

  38. My problem is that I have a lot of ideas, but I don't want to make them/post them unless they are up to my standards. I, too, am hard on myself with that kind of stuff.

  39. You and my therapists have very similar ideas and I really enjoy listening to you

  40. Good video man, this is definitely something I've dealt with so many times, so it's glad to know I'm not alone.

  41. Conner is my spirit animal. like we are the same. i have no idea what i am doing with my life at age 23. what?

  42. sings "all you can do is all you can do, is all you can do, is all you can do"

  43. Jeez, this is so freaking relatable. Going into my last semester in college, and the idea of not having anything after that is WEIRD. That's partly why I make videos: I need to do stuff.

    But the recharging: yeah, I know exactly how it feels

  44. Honestly I constantly feel like this. I've started a blog because I want to be a writer And I can't do that unless I write, but it's frustrating seeing everyone else just all set up with their shit together when I'm only just figuring myself out.

  45. I loved the old outro with you dancing it was funny and cute and awesome. But I understand the need to create something better and newer. You'll figure it out and it will be your best outro ever. Until you make another one.

  46. looking forward to friday connor 😉
    and is it just me for i feel like you and crabstickz (chris kendall) would either love or hate each other..?

  47. wowowow I can relate to this so much. I always have soo many ideas but I'm always worried they won't turn out how I want them to or other people won't like them. No one I've talked to has ever understood what I meant. they just say "you just gotta do it!" or "you'll never know till you try!" or something else encouraging but unhelpful. It's crazy how stuck it can make you feel.

  48. This was so helpful! I've been thinking about this a lot lately, very helpful for sure.

  49. I don't usually watch male youtubers but you are something else! I like how real you are and how real you deal with life stuff.I think your videos are kind of small TED Talks.I like you, keep making videos man.Thumbs up!

  50. You know what's funny is that I'm at the end of high school and even before, it just seemed like everyone knew what they were doing with their lives, which only makes people who are clueless like me even more depressed about the world. I wish people would show their vulnerability more. Maybe I would show mine and then people could stop stressing and comparing and competing, if we all new we were the same. Or there were more clueless people out there. Like I just don't feel like I have anything together. Yeah I'm top 10% of my senior class rn, yeah I applied to colleges yeah I say I'm going for engineering and shit but it still is completely uncontrollable and I have like zero confidence. So way to finally put the word out there.

  51. I love your videos but I still can't shake how I'm feeling lately. just been so depressed lately and feeling alone. nothing help and it's hard to get motivated to do anything. all I can say is life and situations haven't been good to me. moving last year and leaving everyone and everything I've know still is tough. part of my problem is I have no clue what I'm going to with my life and it scares me.all my plans for college got undone with the move. then I started to do things I never in a million years I would. now cause of this my parents are upset at me and way my brothers have acted. well I guess I just wanted to let it out and see what you thought about. you may ask anything else you'd like to know thanks Tyler 🙂

  52. I love your videos but I still can't shake how I'm feeling lately. just been so depressed lately and feeling alone. nothing help and it's hard to get motivated to do anything. all I can say is life and situations haven't been good to me. moving last year and leaving everyone and everything I've know still is tough. part of my problem is I have no clue what I'm going to with my life and it scares me.all my plans for college got undone with the move. then I started to do things I never in a million years I would. now cause of this my parents are upset at me and way my brothers have acted. well I guess I just wanted to let it out and see what you thought about. you may ask anything else you'd like to know thanks Tyler 🙂

  53. Adulthood seems pretty scary from down here in teenaged-years-land. But hey, it's cool. Those faces were perfect representations for those emotions. 8)

  54. As a writer of screenplay I know what you mean Connor and it is frustrating, that creative block. I can take several things away from this video and one of them is new facial expressions to make the next time I don't know what kind of story I want to set. Love the new profile pic by the way 🙂 ♥ ♥

  55. The whole 'guessing thing' is me right now. I graduated high school (a year early) in September and I still have no idea what I'm gonna do. People keep asking me when I'm gonna start college and what I'm gonna major in and I just do not know. 😐

  56. You are there for me so I'm here for you. Anything you say to me will not be heard by others from me. So please feel free message me. Id love to help you if you need someone to be a reminder of the truth and of what matters.

  57. "…if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice…" Give yourself a break! It's absolutely ok to NOT DO STUFF.

  58. love you, man. really, you are hot, clever, sincere. about the video: i feel the same sometimes – i will define like a pressure to be "great" so we pressure ourselves when not fully chasing the greatness. but anyway, it's part of understanding who you are going to be.
    (love from buenos aires)

  59. Connor, you are not alone. Sometimes I get in a creative rut. That may be why I have 12 journals. It does feel like we're sort of making it all up as go.

  60. I think an important thing to do with writer's block or really any sort of creator's block is to accept all ideas, no matter how "stupid" or undeveloped they may seem. I went to a workshop that was really interesting that talked about a sort of obscure way to generate ideas when writing, and it's really cool if you're open to it. You think about a memory or a time period, and lie down, focusing your energy very simply upon that memory. Indulge in that memory, acting like you are in its present. Use a recorder (we used other people to write, but you could use a voice recorder) and start talking. Describe your emotions in that memory or time period as if it is the present. Be raw, and don't work to embellish things. Even if you don't use those ramblings as your next biggest hit, some of the best lines and ideas can come out of those simplified raw feelings, because you aren't working to embellish them or add figurative language. It's not for everyone, but it's cool.

  61. I was hoping to get a grasp on the whole adult thing by 21. Guess that's unrealistic.

  62. I do literally everything you discuss in this video. I wish I could take my own advice sometimes – I feel crap on the nothing days – still not accepting them.

    Great video – thanks 🙂

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