I’m a person who makes a lot of things. In fact, it’s what I want to do with my life; make things. Sometimes I can’t make things though. It’s just not happening in the brain and I’m just left there, sitting there, pondering my entire existence with frustration and anger. You know. This is usually followed my sadness and then restlessness after that. And then I’m back to anger. So. And that’s where we are now. *coughs* Gotta clear my throat. I’m a little hard on myself as a person, just as a general concept. If there’s something in anything that I make that sucks, I’m gonna see it. I’m gonna zero in on it and I’m gonna judge the whole thing based on that. It’s really confusing sometimes to be a person who always wants to make things but is then scared to make those things, do you know what I mean? I know I’m not alone in these feelings and I actually recently got a question about the issue of writer’s block and I wanna talk about it a little bit. This person identified themselves very similarly to me in that they’re a person who identifies their whole experience based on what they make. They have to be making things at all times to feel productive. It’s like, “woah did you send that anon message to yourself to make you feel popular?” Maybe. Maybe I did. I don’t know. Sometimes I forget. Here’s what I responded to this person, and I was actually talking to myself too. It’s okay to not make things sometimes. The way that I work on things is I’m “go go go” at all times. Eventually, that catches up to me and I need to have a few nothing days where I recharge myself. The problem with that is when I have those nothing days, I feel like utter crap because I’m not doing anything. And one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do is learn to accept my nothing days, to be okay with them. Because you can’t be on all the time, especially as a creative person. And if what you create is deeply emotional, you definitely can’t be on all the time. I think as someone in his early transitioning into mid-20s, I’m starting to see people around me get successful. I’m starting to see people get stable. And I’m starting to feel like I’m not doing enough as a person. This also happened to me at the end of high school. You see these people who YOU see them having it together, knowing exactly what’s going on, and then following through and doing what they’re doing. And I could be wrong here, but my interpretation of adulthood so far is that you’re always just guessing. You’re just guessing the entire time. You don’t know anything. And that’s true of every single person regardless of their financial standing, relationship status, perceived stability. Everyone is guessing. Nobody knows. If you were to go back 5 years and look at yourself, would you have ever predicted that life and the world would be as it is right now. No, because you can’t do that. That’s a scary thought. It scares me a lot, but I’m learning to be okay with it because that’s the reality. And all we can do is all we can do. We can work when we can work. We can head towards goals we set for ourselves. And when we don’t have the energy to do that, that’s okay. It’s okay. You can’t be on all the time. You can’t always have videos all the time. And so sometimes, you make videos about not having video ideas. It’s a little bit meta is what it is. I love y’all a lot. That’s about it for me. I’m gonna get off of here. And I will see you next time on Friday. I know! I’m embarrassed! There’s still no outro. There still is no outro. I know. I’m working on it. There will be one soon. If it’s not there on Friday, you have permission to demand I slap myself 10 times. That’s the deal. And I’m not talking about little slaps. Hard slaps. HORD slaps.