Jesse Parent – “To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter”


To the boys who may one day date my daughter: I have been waiting for you.
Since before her birth, since before my spark took hold
and ignited the fire in her mother’s belly, I have been training
to kill you. When you took your first steps,
I was preparing to make it so you never walked again.
When you played at war I was perfecting my headshots.
You can’t catch up at this point. And when you first meet my daughter
and fall in love with the look she sends over her shoulder,
her crescent moon eyes framing her laughing smile,
you are going to want to talk to her. And when those hours pass by like sprinters
during that first timeless conversation you will also know, with a deep and impending
sense of dread, that you are going to have to talk to me. When you first come to my home
and see the bone carving over my threshold, try not to imagine your own femurs so expertly
carved. Pay no attention to my ample crawlspace,
my room with the rubber mat and drain. Be careful only to approach me
with love for my daughter. See, I have been seeding her childhood
with tap root hugs to weed out indifference and apathy.
There will be no daddy issues for your teenaged talons to latch upon. If you break her heart,
I will hear it snap with the ear I pressed against her mother’s
belly. The elbow I cradled her head in
will send a message to my fist. My cheeks are attuned to her lips,
I will know if they tremble. I have taught her that a man should never
hit a woman. Now, her mother would add that you really
shouldn’t ever hit anybody, but I have taught her that a man should NEVER
HIT A WOMAN! Consider my genes a mark of Cain,
you will suffer seven times whatever you do to her.
And she will not keep your secret, you can’t make fire feel afraid. I have been teaching her love all of her life,
and all that I ask is that you continue the lesson.
Love her, befriend her, protect her. Be there when I can’t.
And when my body gives up to the grave let the grin that eternity carves into my
face be a reflection of the peace that your love
brings to her, and we should get along just fine. ADDENDUM To the girls who may one day date my daughter: My wife is a better shot than I am.

100 thoughts on “Jesse Parent – “To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter”

  1. Biological imperitives may fuel your hostility, but don't you dare threaten anyone without just cause and an eye for the greater scope of things.
    A real man doesn't use love as an excuse to power trip. I'm sure your wife is a good shot Sir, but I suggest another stint in the military. Maybe then you won't need your wife to shoot a gun for you. A little discipline goes a long way.

  2. My dad sent me this. I loved the poem and the meaning behind it. Best of wishes to you Jesse Parent <3

  3. My older sister watched this 4 years ago and i spent 4 years trying to find it again. Thats how good it was

  4. "To the girls that one day might date my daughter…my wife is a better shot than I am" omg love that so much

  5. A simple solution to all the dumb feminists and people assuming all men are rapists. If the patents were to dictate who would partner up with the daughter it wouldn't be an issue. Children and young women ate too stupid and naive to be trusted with making sound decisions.

  6. “There will be no daddy issues for your teenage talons for you to latch onto” 😭❤️

  7. when he said "if u break her heart"
    i thought that after that line he will say:
    I will break u

  8. "TO THE GIRLS WHO ONE DAY DATE MY DAUGHTER,"
    silence
    "….my wife is a better shot then i am"

    Me laughing my ass off

  9. I could watch this over and over again- and I have, many times. I.. wish my dad had been like this. Good on you, sir. Your daughter is lucky to have you.

  10. Why does this man remind me of my dad???
    1. My dad is a veteran and is very protective

    2. The other day i was talking to my mate (he is in college) my dad walked up and went "who are you talking to?" So i said how he was in colloege and my dad said "even more reason for me to be on the lookout"

    3. Him and his mate (who is also a veteran) bought me a £60 hoodie which says 'My dad risked his life saving strangers, imagine what he would to to keep me safe'

  11. As the poem began i was wondering if he'd mention girls dating his daughter and then at the end BOOM! There he comes with the best line! I loved this ❤

  12. I also write poetry, and I based a poem off the line about fire not being afraid. It’s probably in one of my top three poems. I loved this so much!

  13. “My cheeks are attuned to her lips I will know if they tremble” tears. immediately. no matter how many times i hear this damn poem.

  14. ONLY WOMEN FIND IT ROMANTIC… we all Guys think THIS IS WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF CREEPINESS. Chill, BOYS ARE NOT VILLAIN AS GIRLS ARE NOT SAINTS 🧖‍♂️🧖🏿‍♀️😂😂

  15. I’m a daughter, not yet a parent, and this still proceeds to make me cry.

    I want to show this to my dad.

  16. To the girls who may one day date my son, If you try to use him for money or hurt him I'll burn your house down while you sleep. For a mama bear am I. Thank you very much 🙂

  17. I love how he added "to the girls who may one-day date my daughter" because my dad has taught me that they don't care if I fall in love with a man or a woman

  18. This has never once failed to cheer me up because goddamn, I have gone through every letter in the acronym and my father hasn't changed since. I used to think I was lesbian! Then I had a crush on a guy and went 'Holy sh-t. I was wrong.' So I decided bi was right for me. Then I realize that oh my god I'm not a girl. I haven't had a crush on a girl since the second one I liked. My father has nonetheless stayed protective and supportive as I can imagine him being. I am one lucky man.

  19. reads title
    I think we have a case of a overprotective father here boys.

  20. Sir may you please adopt us??? We all wanna be your children.

  21. Every time I need to be reminded that there are good men in the world, I watch this video.

  22. We watched this in class, and throughout the entire one, my friend and I were saying "what is she's bi, or lesbian" and when he said "and to the girls who date my daughter" literally all of the gays in my class got up and clapped.

  23. Omg this is my parents 100 although instead of boys at the start it´s only to the girls that one day might date their daughter my mom will break someone for breaking me 100 percent

  24. I love that he says "To the girls who may one day date my daughter"
    Proving that he will accept the gender of his daughters future partner.

  25. My girlfriend’s father sent me this…He’s a former wrestler and had an amazing aim with a gun…Although I would never hurt her I feel as if I’m in danger.

  26. Can this man adopt me? As a bisexual girl with a, let's say unsavory (sexist and homophobic) father I would very much like it

  27. I have Brazilian roots and i dated an argentinian girls….her dad must have watched this video many times

  28. I first saw this 4 years ago! Now I have a son and a daughter and I get it! Thank you!

  29. It's so hilarious and entertaining but there really is something wonderful in his words. Love this 😊

  30. blah blah blah. you procreated. no one is good enough for my daughter. blah blah blah. sooooooo old!

  31. I love this but makes me sad at the fact I wish my father was around to teach me this i mean I have a mom and does try her best but I never really grew up in a loving home my dad was barely around, always got drunk, very abusive, and walk out… and I barely found out my dad does not like the fact if he finds out one of us (siblings including me) is part of LGBTQ+

  32. My headphones are weird and I was just watching cheers so right after he said “my wife is a better shot than I am” it paused the video and played the ending music

  33. Right. Except I don’t say anything. They just don’t answer the phone again.

  34. What if she is a lesbian

    Edit AMAZING

    I LOVE THIS FATHER HE IS AMAZING

  35. I couldn’t figure out why this kept showing up in my recommended: far too heteronormative. Then it got to the ending. I appreciated that.

  36. I love you. My daddy's just like you my daddy ate a lot of boys.

  37. To the 965 people who dislike this skit. This is comedy at it's finest.

  38. Out of all of the poems I've heard out all of the ones that mention suicide attempts and rape, this one mad me cry. It reminded me so much of my dad. And when he talked about dying an telling the boy that he needs to love his daughter, it hurt. A lot.

  39. My dad always says "your first boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend" and I want to tell him so badly, no dad, I'm going to marry a girl. An I never do. I never tell him. I'm afraid he's going to reject me. I'm afraid he's going to disown me. He's joked about how "homosexuals are unnatural" he sat me down at the dinner table and told me to not ever become one of those "gay emo goth motherfuckers" and here I am, a proud lesbian on the internet but at home a scared closeted person who doesn't want to upset or let down her father who demands she marry a man instead of a woman. It hurt me when he said the last bits. It hit hard.

  40. This kinda male insecurity.. maybe your daughter isn’t all that if she chooses to be with shit people.

    Heads up, hearts get broken, it is part of personal growth. So when they meet the one they are are stronger.

    I hope none my boys date a girl with a man-child father like this!

  41. I wish that i had a dad that would do this for me and i know that if my uncle (he is the only father figure that has ever been in my life) were still alive he would be saying the same things you are a amazing father and i hope that you will always be there for your child like that

  42. …i dont have dad…and my step dad laughed about me when he found out I have boyfriend…and then he broke me but he still didn't give a single frick about it….

  43. The 975 people who gave this a 👎must be all the boys that his daughter turned down when they asked her out.

  44. this is brilliant!!! this is so going to be my husband some day!

  45. I love the people in the background “mmmmmm” “uhhhhh” “yeahhhh mhhhmmm”

  46. "I have been teacher her love all of her life and all I ask is that you continue the lesson."
    felt that

  47. “To the girls who may one day date my daughter…..my wife is a better shot than I am” 😂😂

  48. “And all I ask so that you continue the lesson” I can truly hear my dad speaking through this. This poem brought tears to my eyes, reminding me that a bond between a father and daughter is beyond explainable, and you rlly showed that in this poem. Bless the man that gets with your daughter (or woman lol)

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