Kevin Kantor – “People You May Know” (CUPSI 2015 Finals)

When my rapist showed up under the ‘People
You May Know’ tab on Facebook It felt like the closest to a crime scene
I’ve ever been That is
If I don’t count the clockwork murder that I make of my own memory
Every time I drive down Colfax Avenue Still
I sit in my living room and sift for clues Click I see myself caught in his teeth
He is dancing with his shirt off In a city I’ve never been to Click He is eating sushi over a few beers with friends
And I Am under his fingernails Click I know that alley Click I killed the memory of that t-shirt Click This is an old photograph
It’s a baby picture There is also an older man – presumably
his father They are both round
And bright And still
Smiling Click He is shirtless again
And I catch my reflection in the weight room mirror
Hashtag #BeastModeSelfie I call him the Wolf
When I write about him: The Wolf
So as to make him as storybook as possible The Wolf
When I write about him Which is to say, when my memory escapes the
murder Or
When the internet suggests it Facebook informs me that we have 3 mutual
friends Which is to say
He is People You May Know
Which is to say I am
People You May Know And there are people that know
And people that don’t know And people that don’t know I want to know
I’m afraid to let know And probably people that know him that know
of me that know The word No
No NO The word No was flock of sleeping sheep sitting
in my mouth And now
I know the wolf’s middle name And what he listens to on Spotify
And the all too familiar company he keeps and
He can no longer be a wolf Or the nameless grave I dig for myself on
bad days We have 3 mutual friends on Facebook and now
it feels as if they are holding the shovel 64 people ‘liked’ the shirtless gym pic
and 4 people told me they’d rather I said nothing
2 police officers told me that I must give his act a name or
It didn’t happen That obviously
I Could have fought back Which is to say
No one comes running for young boys who cry rape When I told my brother
He also asked me why I
Didn’t fight back Adam,
I am
Right now I promise Every day I write a poem titled
‘Tomorrow’ It is a handwritten list of
The people I know Who love me And I make sure to put my own name at the top.

100 thoughts on “Kevin Kantor – “People You May Know” (CUPSI 2015 Finals)

  1. "every day I write a poem titled tomorrow", absolutely beautiful.

  2. I've listened to this an endless amount of times and I still cry wowee

  3. Shout out to all AMA Student who discover this video through OED. UCSP! It's a great poem by the way.

  4. It's been two years since I first saw this video, and I still cry everytime i watch it again. So much pain always take my words away.

  5. "… is a hand-written list of the people I know that love me, and I make sure to put my own name at the top." This part just killed me.

  6. I got so excited to see that this took place at the college my sister attends ! Then I cried during the poem

  7. Does anyone know any monologues like this from a published play? This is so raw and beautiful and powerful, I just need to perform something like it for my exam!

  8. out of curiosity, are there any published paper copy versions of Kevin Kantor's work? I know there are "lyric" blog posts but are there any actual books or published scripts? thank you in advance😊

  9. "Everyday I write a list of people that love me, and I make sure to put my own name at the top." THIS IS MY NEW MOTTO, PREACH KEVIN 🙌🏼🙌🏼

  10. my heart… man i was in tears from the first line. this was so brave

  11. This is so heart breaking! I hope you know there are people who love you and respect you for standing up to him!

  12. Mine sent me a message to try and offer his services as a photographer!
    He didn't even recognize me.

  13. Wow. i don't know what to say, I just want to leave this comment here to show that this poem was noted and beautiful/terrible beyond belief.

  14. i could feel every hair on my face stand up when he first opened his mouth. this poem is incredibly moving. as a survivor of sexual assault, i am an ally and listening ear and i am here to be present

  15. there is a girl on buzzfeed that copied great part of this poem,The video is called the same,you should tell her something,she is getting props for coping this…

  16. Same thing happened to me a couple years ago. I didn't tell anyone about it for many years because I was a college girl in the 80s who was drunk at a party. Three mutual friends.

  17. Don't fucking mind me, just sobbing slightly in the corner. That was really powerful/

  18. Please add my name to your list of people that LOVE you.
    C. Cleveland.

  19. This whole thing gave me chills but as soon as he said "Adam, I am right now." It absolutely killed me. I've been watching this like five times a day for a week and a half and I still cry every time. Absolutely no one deserves this.

  20. 2 years later I finally in and relate to this poem, I work with my rapist in a club, he's in my theatre major, and though I reported him and told friends no one out cast him and I just this poem speaks volumes I can even begin to talk of

  21. I just want to say I was going through poetry videos due to a recent break up. I found myself falling into all the ones I used to play to console my high school heart and then I found this one. This poem I used to play over and over again, I knew every word by heart because I lived every word by heart. And I just want to say – thank you for I never thought I would be here. I never thought I'd be in a relationship after my assault. I never thought I'd be able to fall in love so hard that my heart literally ached and sobbed because I never thought I'd be able to trust someone again. And to be honest, I never even thought I'd live this long. I tried to stop this eventual life to happen, but because of poems like this – I learned how to cope. I deleted my facebook after hearing this poem because I knew the all too familiar feeling of seeing his name pop up and feeling my heart be crushed. Now, it takes a little bit of time to even remember his name. So thank you for writing this poem, thank you for being a voice of reason to my solitude three years ago. I don't know where I'd be without it so I'm oddly happy to find it here, today.

  22. A few months ago after I was sexually assaulted I told my parents. They said that they were glad I didn’t tell anyone else because it wasn’t rape because I didn’t fight back. When I came clean again, My hand was held and I was looked in the eye and was told “I believe you. And I love you.” And guess what? I am no longer the victim. I am the survivor, I thought I would die because of this, but I am alive. And I know the word No more than ever. I love myself more than I ever thought possible. And I couldn’t have been here or overpowered this without the wonderful support I had.

  23. okay two things)
    uno: besutiful. this is so amazingly srtong and emotional and raw and i am so so so so so sorry that another human being has to go through that. you are a wonderful poet and a compelling storyteller. stay stong.
    dos: and im sorry to have to bring this up, it feels inappropriate but it just popped into my head… is your brother Adam Kantor, as in RENT's adam kantor?

  24. Does anyone else think its inapprioate, the hooting and the clapping from the crowd?

  25. this poem always makes me tear up. more beautiful work from Kevin Kantor!!

  26. Just another heads up that Kevin uses they them pronouns and no longer identifies as a boy.

  27. please someone let this guy read this comment… im sorry.. you are brave… sorry…i know it doesnt help but.. but sorry

  28. every time i watch this i get chills and i think about a person in my life who was assaulted and my heart aches for them . also i’m coming to terms with my own assault and this is just so powerful i cry every time .

  29. No one comes running for the girl passed out on a bed…who cried rape

  30. I absolutely love this poem, it is powerful and inspiring to those who have been there ❤

  31. "I call him the Wolf. To make him seem as story book as possible." That hit me deep. Because I call my rapist monster, to prove that they exist, but no one believes in them or the people that claim to see them

  32. I really love this poem,

    Sucks his brothers name is the same as my rapists and now I can't watch it without feeling as if I am back in the room with him, just as powerless as before

  33. You sweet, beautiful man. This poem broke my heart a thousand times, and it is so so horrifying what happened to you. You're so incredibly brave and the way you weave your words is crazy powerful.

  34. This poem means allot to me because I was raped when I was 13. Ever since I was raped the photo of him that shows up every time I open my friends request or every time facebook decides to suggest him as a friend plague me. I wonder about his life and his family I have even looked through his photos hoping to see pictures of his mother who was a parent to me. I wonder who he is now after 6 years and if he remembers me. I wonder what he would say to me if I accepted his request

  35. This shows everyone that some people try to fight back but no matter how hard they try, no matter how loud they are, no matter how many times they say 'NO!' it's harder than you think to fight back, no matter the gender. Rape is a serious matter and if you use rape and stereotypes/ gender roles, in the same sentence; take yourself back and start educating yourself and ASK OTHERS WHO PASSED THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE AND TO WHOM MANY FELT AT FUALT AND WANTED TO RUN AWAY FROM THEIR SKIN BUT COULDN'T! to those whom suffered for days. "How do you feel? Is there any way where you could feel comfortable in your own skin? How can I comfort you? Is there anything you would like to tell everyone?"

    Every question can be interpreted any way. So can anything else. But sometimes they aren't looked in the purpose they're supposed to be looked and taken.

  36. Finished it and now going back to the beginning because I have to hear it again

  37. oh sugar. im sorry for what happened to you. but here you are, strong and graceful and glorious in spite of it. you are a wonder and you are so loved <3

  38. oh i may be a female but ohhhhh i felt this.. especially the last line

  39. 4 years later and I still get the same chills I did when I first heard it

  40. I long for more of this. THIS is what is needed! Love yourself and tell your story

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