Let's Play Doki Doki Literature Club Blind Part 6 – Raincloud [PC Gameplay] 2019

sigh Ori tell Monica I wasn't feeling well ok I'll see you tomorrow before I can say anything else Saori cheerfully walks out of the classroom humming to herself what hey hey no following that conversation me walking home with her that would have been the perfect timing to be like Saori I really like you do you want to be my girlfriend what's with that reaction something's wrong okay you three we're all done sharing poems right why don't we start figuring out hold on a second is it just me or did you say something strange just now you three something did sound a bit unusual that's right you deviated from your usual catchphrase when addressing the club catchphrase I don't have a catchphrase she has a catchphrase jeez why is it mood so weird today look even Yuri isn't immune to it huh stagnating air is common for shadowing that something terrible is about to happen oh don't tell me that in your books maybe look the only thing different is that Saori isn't here oh I'm telling you right now that my um my heart there is a bit weighing down on it because I am I'm feeling the shoe that's about to drop it's like about 1 centimeter from my ground right now it was about 2 inches beforehand look the only thing different is that Saori isn't here ah it seems you're right Saori always helps lighten the mood a little bit doesn't she it's almost like everyone's balance is thrown off a little when she's not around where the heck did she run off to anyway I thought she just went to pee Netsky please show some decency oh come on oh she actually wasn't feeling so well and went home early is that so I hope she's alright seriously of all the times to not go home with her you picked the time she's not feeling well so much for you to being all lovey-dovey unless she didn't want me to go with her huh no first of all stop misunderstanding my friendship with Saori oh my god and second she's kind of been avoiding me today so I didn't want to force it huh that curious expression coming from Yuri of all people calm down guys I talked to her earlier and everything is fine what did she say anyway we need to figure out the rest of the festival preparations so let's decide what everyone will be doing this weekend she just completely ignored me okay I already know what I'm doing that's right netsky will be making cupcakes but we might need a lot of them and different flavors can you handle all that by yourself NAT Sookie okay come on it doesn't have to be different flavors you're just being you're just being bossy now Monica challenge accepted and as for myself I'm going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets Saori will be helping me design them and as for Yuri Neri you can huh guys can you help me come up with something for Yuri I I'm useless no that's not it at all you're the most talented person here you know now NAT skis pouting sooo geez even I can tell now I guess I never gave Saori enough credit but I can tell that things are even harder on you when she's not around ah that may be the case but if I can't also be a leader on my own then I won't grow as a person so Yuri you have beautiful handwriting you know so you should make some banners and decorations to help set the atmosphere atmosphere um about that I I love atmosphere Yuri's expression suddenly changes as she stares at her desk in focus and starts nodding to herself you're mine is already racing I say that's great you'll be a wonderful help Yuri but anyway that just leaves you uhlans the one who is truly useless and don't say that in fact both Netsky and Yuri have some pretty heavy tasks to handle it would probably go a long way to give one of them a hand you could always help me out as well I would be really appreciative of that ah that's is Monica suggesting I spend the weekend with one of my club members one of my club members that's not so Yuri who is the closest person I have been yeah who is the person I've been closest to so far that's weird how on earth are they going to respond to a suggestion like that I suppose I wouldn't mind a bit of help well even if you don't know how to bake there's always some dirty work I could give you it's not like Monica's gonna give me a choice and you shouldn't be sitting on your butt anyway netsky tries to mumble a bunch of excuses like that okay hold on I feel like this might be a good spot to save cuz who knows what's gonna happen after this um if I recall Netsky you mentioned that you would like to handle the baking on your own sabotaging her Whelan's may not like to be around if you only make him out to be a nuisance so therefore he may be more suited to assisting with the decorations hold on I never said that how hard could it be to make a few decorations anyway sounds more like you're just making excuses for Whelan's so what are you saying it'll be extremely meticulous work Monica can I spend the weekend with you please and baking isn't just what do you think guys guys let's settle down for a moment in the end I think it's up for Whelan's to decide how he'd like to contribute besides he hasn't really gone the chance to spend any time with me yet you know so I'm sure he's interested in you literally just said I'm surprised as well sorry sorry I was just saying though I'm in I'm in Monica let's do this geez can we just settle this already yeah Whelan's you're okay with this right in the end it's up to you ah of course huh very well in that case maybe a closer say here kinda Monica's funny I like her everyone looks straight at me but of course I'm gonna oh oh I okay that that changes things a little bit oh no no if I go with Monica now she's gonna think I'm some disloyal F boy so I'm gonna I gotta I gotta stick with my one girl here I mean if it's going to be anyone then I prefer helping out sign Yuri although I'm really really curious about Monica so this was actually kind of a difficult choice for me but we always have a save there so we could go back later on if we ever want to she's kind of a mystery so far I mean we're already neighbors and but Monica said Monica said that Saori was helping her she Oh does I mean that I'm helping Monica anyway cuz I or II is sick geez or is she sick I don't know do you really hate us that much no sorry I didn't mean for this to be so difficult okay well just think of the club okay all right I'm in well I guess I should probably be helping Monica cuz sorry can't help it right now yeah I got an excuse yeah you picked me hold on one second yeah Monica you're the one who needs the least help out of all of us but I agree with nan Sookie not only as your work already most suitable for one person but you already have so Yuri as well the woollens was the one who that doesn't matter you're the one who scared him into picking you in the first place you're the club president Monica you're supposed to make responsible decisions for the club you guys are such sore losers I hate you guys Monica you shouldn't let any ulterior motives interfere with this decision I'll tear your motives what are you saying Yuri in fact it sounds like you guys are the ones with ulterior motives excuse me otherwise this wouldn't have been made into such a big deal in the first place that's completely false Monica yeah we have a lot of work to do you know we won't do as good of a job if you make us work alone ah maybe that's true think of the club Monica if you want our event to succeed then we need to appropriately distribute our resources um no no no no I can see where this is going already they're blocking me from talking to Monica I can't talk to her I'm not allowed to hang out with her so are you going to do the right thing president okay okay forget it it's technically a most logical for Whelan's to help one of you two so I guess that's what we'll do this is this is this is do I have a preference no no frankly you two are coming on too strong for me I'm not happy about this they gave me four choices but actually only two of them are pickable what is this no and I see what they're doing man they made Monica say oh we haven't spent time together before to make us want to pick her but what they're really doing is they're like building this anticipation for something to happen with Monica so I'm on to I'm on to all of you ah and that's can URI honestly I'm pretty ticked off at both of them right now but Tom we had a nice cutscene a reading cutscene with URI before so I think this time I will choose not ski because I like evenly distributing time between all the characters and stuff sure well baking sounds like it could be Han and you guys made it sound like a lot of work so it could probably use two people don't worry baking is a ton of fun you'll definitely agree uh just a minute ago you were saying that that's because nevermind okay well anyway you'll be fine by yourself right Yuri oh I'm sorry Yuri of course I'm used to it after all as much as I want to help out Yuri and be her friend I really don't like the whole self-loathing thing it's quite it's hard to deal with when you see it often that's good even though Yuri is being melodramatic it's a little hard to not feel bad you start feeling bad to begin with but if you keep hearing it you'll just feel angry so that's everything right anything else we need to talk about no I think that's it are you guys excited yes everything except the performance is gonna be awesome I don't think that really counts what about you Ellen's me huh I guess you could say I'm interested to see how it'll turn out that's good enough for me what about you Yuri Yuri she's still sulking Netsky start spouting – it's not I mean it's not that big of a deal or anything well it might not be just that I think that Yuri might just be feeling a bit underappreciated in general having to come up with something for her to do then nobody offering to help oh when you put it like that you make me feel bad – that doesn't mean Matt's key glances back and forth between everyone with a worried expression look netsky goes over and puts her hands down on Yuri's shoulders she's shorter Yuri you really are the most talented one here and and you're going to help make the events a lot more fun and welcoming I mean the cupcakes will probably help a lot – but you're gonna make the atmosphere special that'll be really important for the way that people feel during the performances so you need to stop being dumb and give yourself a little more credit Nats key releases her hands and turns around to face the other direction you didn't really mean that did you um not really but Yuri isn't the only one surprised Monica and I are also taken aback by not Skees words etske of all people to be seeing such encouraging things but I begin to understand nuts he was trying to sound like Saori even if it didn't work perfectly I can tell that she try to say something Saori would say at a time like this because I Yuri always helps everyone smile and feel good about themselves more importantly though shows then that's easy get kid a heart too despite the whole it's in the other thing I'm sorry for being dumb I'm going to do my best and all of us are going to make it a really great event yeah yeah I hope to see everyone do their best but with that there's nothing more for today so I guess it's time for us to head out okay but I'm staying here a bit longer I barely got to do any reading today so fair enough there's nothing wrong with that everyone packs up their things I start to follow Monika and Yuri out the door as they chat between each other um where are you going ah we still need to figure out our plans for this weekend you literally would have gone home and realized they didn't even have a way to contact me oh oh that that's true I have no idea how that slipped my mind it's not because I don't want to actually be here geez good thing I stopped you I'm giving you my number okay you'd better not make it weird or anything why would I do that huh Nats key gives me her number okay I'm coming over on Sunday oh I thought we were coming over to your house because you're the one baking you're the one with the equipment I'll bring all the ingredients wait you're coming to my house well yeah what's wrong with that I mean I just figured that since I'm the one helping I would be going to your house Yeah right like I could have a guy over in my house my dad would kill me I'm a classmate Pearlie that's kind of strict if you ask me yeah how do you think I feel I can't do anything when my dad is home oh so do you want to do something when you're at my place anyway I just needed to complain for a second we have each other's numbers now I didn't give you mine that's all I needed from you I guess I'll text you when I'm coming over set the time now all right fine by me yeah there's so last-minute I'm really gonna show you why I love baking so much so you better look forward to it Oh didn't you say you were just gonna give me the dirty work well I was just saying that it's not like I could act like in front of everyone that I was looking forward to this wait really well kind of just because I never got to bake with someone else before that's all it is so I feel like it would be so much more fun if we all met together over the weekend and we all did everything together all right I get it sorry for overreacting anyway I'll be heading on now see you on Sunday ah never mind what did you want to say I can't believe this not ski is going to be coming over to my house on Sunday even though I would have preferred to do this with Saori my anxiety still shoots through the roof I guess I've gone pretty used to handling her at this point but who knows what might end up happening when we're outside of school she even told me she was looking forward to it I shake my head why do I feel nervous that's why you already finds out about this that was the first thing I thought of too why don't we just tell sigh Yuri to begin with sigh Yuri wait she's going to hell Monica oh ok well it's not like we feel that way about each other besides like Monica said this is about the club I have nothing to worry about if I just go with it then I'll have a good time that's what you think that was fast it's already Sunday I've been getting increasingly anxious about NAT skis upcoming visit I keep telling myself that there's no reason to be nervous but it doesn't help much I wonder if she'll act any different when it's just the two of us will she come in her school uniform that's my number one question meanwhile she's been texting me a lot we send each other one after exchanging numbers to double-check but it turned into conversation she's almost a completely different personality on the phone using tons of emoji and cue language she also really likes complaining about things but I kind of saw that one coming but putting Natsuki aside I haven't heard a thing from Saori since she left club early the other day call her it's not like we text each other all the time or anything but I've been worried about her in the back of my mind you live next to her just go knock between what's I already said and what Monica said is it really okay for me to put saori's feelings aside when she might need me no it's not yes good job oh my god you are you've been dumped so far but this is the one good decision you've made I decide to visit Saori before Natsuki comes over wait why is there no music rather than asking I simply tell her I'm coming over much like we've done in the past once I reach Sayuri's house I knock on the door before entering it myself again we used to play so often that we've made it a habit of simply entering each other's houses like we were family I'm scared I'm scared the house is quiet Saori isn't anywhere on the first floor so I assume she's up in her room it's already strange of her not to run down and greet me I'm really scared I head up to her bedroom where I finally find her Saori oh oh huh oh okay I don't know why I thought something bad would happen here no I know exactly why cuz they made it all black and they were hyping up to it okay hi Mullins are you not alarmed that I'm in your house at all or like shocked or like surprised nothing I'm checking out my room right now hey just got some cute stuffed toys cute I sit down in her room Saori forces a smile but it's easy to tell that she's different there's a minute of silence between us you haven't come over like this in a long time have you huh I guess you're right it has been a long time not much has really changed has it saori's room is as messy as it's always been I also recognize the same stuffed animals and wall decorations that she's had for years now if you came over more often it wouldn't be such a mess cuz you'd be trying to impress me that's because I end up cleaning it for you oh that's right how come you suddenly wanted to come over today aren't you supposed to see Natsuki today oh you know yeah but wait how did you know about that so Yuri had already left by the time we decided that last meeting Monica told me it's only natural for her to keep me informed about the festival preparations right oh that's true but what about you aren't you going to be helping out Monica today of course but I'm just helping your online oh we didn't plan to meet up or anything oh so it's just me and Natsuki then hey why don't you come oh I guess you can't cuz you gotta help Monica online oh I feel like I don't know we could have sai yuri in the same room she can be on the computer we can be baking in the kitchen yep there is more silence between us Saori stares in a random direction come on this is a good chance you guys alone in her room come on everything about her behavior is really uncharacteristic I finally get to the point I just wanted to see how you were doing after you left on Friday when something's wrong you can't hide it from me I know you'd so well so sorry smiles shaking her head that's no good well ends yeah why can't it just be like it's always been she doesn't wanna what but that's breaking my heart this is all my fault if I didn't get so weak and accidently express my feelings if I didn't make that stupid mistake then you wouldn't have been worried about me at all hey that's not true you're my friend anyway you wouldn't have come here you wouldn't even have been thinking about me right now but this is just my punishment isn't it I'm getting punished for being so selfish I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today it just wants to torture me hey Saori I grabbed syuri by the shoulders what on earth are you saying are you listening to yourself right now I know something happened to you there is no other explanation for you to be like this so tell me already until I know I won't be able to stop thinking about it ah say or he gives me an empty smile you really put me in a trap Whelan's but you're wrong nothing happened to me I've always been like this you're just seeing it for the first time seeing what what are you talking about Saori Hey you're really just going to make me say it aren't you Ellen's I guess I have no choice this time the thing is I've had really bad depression my whole life did you know that they say that comedians a lot of comedians have depression so the people who've seen the most cherry on the outside yeah I can see that but no I didn't I didn't think about that why do you think I'm late to school every day because most days I can't even find a reason to get out of bed what reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am why go to school why eat why make friends why make other people put their energy and caring some waste by having them spend it on me I didn't know that this game had a mental health angle on it oh that's actually really interesting I thought all the warnings in the beginning were for stuff like jump scares and horror not this and I feel like they did it in a really relatable way too cuz sometimes it's like you notice that your friend doesn't feel like themself normally and then it's like hey are you just sad about something that something happened but depression that's like something ongoing something without with a cause that's what it feels like and that's why I just want to make everyone happy without anyone worrying about me I'm in shock I can't even figure out how to respond oh it's yeah that's if someone just says I have depression it is kind of a hard thing to respond so how is it possible that sy ory kept this from me the entire time that I've known her did she really want so badly for me to just not think about her why sy ory yeah why is it that you've never told me about this it almost feels like I've been betrayed as your close friend oh I know you didn't mean it like that but the way you say it is so like you focused because if I knew I would have done everything I could to support you even if there's only so much that I could do I would have tried a little bit harder to make every day a little better for you that's why I'm your friend all you had to do was tell me you don't understand at all well ins why do you think I didn't tell you because if I told you then you would have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things yeah it's not like something that you can just tell someone to get over so I don't realistically maybe a therapist would be more helpful than me I don't want to be cared about it's bittersweet when people try to care about me it feels nice sometimes but it also feels like a back being swung against my head that's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me but then I discovered something else too seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club it feels like a spear going through my heart so that's why that's why I decided the world just wants to torture me every path leads to nothing but hurt you're white that I don't understand I don't understand your feelings at all sigh Yuri but I don't need to understand whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting that's what I'll do no well is there's nothing nothing at all the only thing that could have helped is if everyone could be like it always was but I was selfish I finally showed you what a horrible person I am tears streak down sigh or ease face I made you join the literature club because I was selfish and I was punished by my heart hurting in a way that I couldn't understand and now you came here and I made you hurt too I'm just weak and selfish that's all I am and that's why I'm going to accept these punishments because I deserve every last one without thinking I once again grab saiary shoulders this time I pull her into a tight embrace ah Whelan's Saori i don't care if you feel selfish I'm really happy that you convinced me to join the club seeing you every day makes it worthwhile enough if I make friends with everyone else then that's just a bonus but please never underestimate how much I care about you I wouldn't have it any other way Welland's Saori isn't hugging me back despite my arms being wrapped around her saori's arms remain on her sides she starts sobbing next to my ear no don't do this to me please don't do this welland's hi Saori barely manages to speak between her sobs I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but all I want is for her to know that I care if you have it in you to call yourself selfish then you have to let me be selfish too no matter what it takes I'll figure out what needs to change I'll make these feelings go away and if there's anything that you need me to do then you'd better tell me I'll get mad if you don't I don't know you don't know I don't know gently Saori finally puts her arms around me in return I don't know anything it's all really scary I don't understand any of my feelings Wallens the only time I'm not feeling nothing is when I'm feeling pain but your hugs are so warm and that's really scary too so I already let's me go as she does so I let her go as well the festival is tomorrow yeah it's going to be fun right yeah how would you like for me to spend it all with you um uh it's what I want I promise I I think that would be nice then yeah sigh Ori wipes her eyes if I could spend the whole day here I would of all days this has to be the one where I have other plans maybe I should cancel no don't please don't if you did that then I really wouldn't forgive you but it's almost time for Natsuki to meet me at my house at the very least do you want to come along and help out it would be fun to my surprise Saori shakes her head I'm sorry I don't know if that would be very good for me today you understand right ah it's kind of hard for me to fully understand but I'm trying my hardest it's okay don't worry too much about it I'll see you tomorrow okay all right I look forward to it I say goodbye to sigh Yuri and exit her house okay you know what I came into this game expecting to be like oh it's April Fool's let's just play some game that's kind of Mimi or whatever but that whole segment with Saori just now legitimately impressed me because I felt like out of all the Autoport trails of mental health I've seen in games I mean there's a few stuff like um no I guess I shouldn't say it cuz I might be a spoiler but anyway my point is it's not the first time I've seen something like depression or other mental health issues being portrayed in games but this one just felt so despite it being some dating sim some crappy run-of-the-mill dating sim so far oh my god I am simultaneously legitimately impressed as well as uncomfortably upset it's too real all those signs from sigh Yuri routinely waking up late for school always thinking of other people ahead of herself always being cheery wanting everyone around her to be happy the poem about the bottles of happy thoughts individually none of these signs really mean much but when you add them all up and yet even when you add them all up I still had to have her spell it out to me this is something that I feel like is really difficult for someone on the outside to spot and our our protagonists reaction here I think as a generalization people humans are really not used to situations where we can't control or influence the outcome at all and so even if we're told that nothing in particular is causing this depression we still want to say stuff like what can I do to make it better there's gotta be something I can do right and if you ever notice one of your friends not feeling themselves that day they're not necessarily being a party pooper maybe it's just a day that they need to be left alone on again though these concepts are difficult for someone who doesn't experience it to understand I'm really impressed by how upsetting this is on the way home I find myself still feeling uneasy but it's hard for me to keep thinking about it when Nats key is about to come over so I think Saori is right I shouldn't be worrying too much and we're definitely going to have a great time tomorrow I should just focus on what's ahead of me you

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