Marcel Lucont – Merry Brexmas – poem with live band

Give to me a… Like a first dance… …at a funeral ‘Tis the year of your Brexmas And all through the land Not a creature’s concurring It’s all gone as planned Though the continent’s juiced you For all you are worth For a confidence boost You can enjoy this verse… May your cheese grow ever milder Your beer grow far more beery Your bananas ever curvier Your cabbages… …more spherey May you never, ever measure them In metric, stark and neat But conceptual, ineffectual terms Like inches, pounds and feet May your fishing quotas double While your chips grow doubly thick May your immigrants all emigrate To care for their own sick May you lose those tricky terms “Gesundheit,” “ciao,” “bon appétit” And say instead “grubs up” When you are sitting down to eat May your summertime stay British Unaffected by our clocks Should your Brexit be a hard one Or as soft as gerbils’ cocks May you never be dishevelled By a firm, full-on French kiss May your buses stay two-levelled So that they can hold more piss May your wattage only increase May your NHS grow rich May whoever’s now in charge of this Not end up Barnier’s bitch May Ms. May one day convey How much she loved being in charge By appearing wearing earrings Made from bollocks of Farage If life gives you foreigners May you cut out foreign aid But, most of all, may you happy With the choice that you have made MERRY BREXMAS

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