Mind Bending Language Talk: Attention vs. Intention


So, I’ve come, whether it’s a false conclusion
or a good conclusion or not, I think attention is one of our most valuable skills. Attention is the master skill. That’s what I think. I agree. Your ability to… But it’s not just attention, attention is
one side of the coin. Can I show you what I think the other side
of that coin is? Sure. Intention. That’s the difference between benign attention
and malign attention. Benign has a positive intention. Malign has a negative intention. I’m not even sure if we’re truly able
to go completely neutral, I don’t think that’s necessarily possible, even though
people say dissociated, neutral total thing. I think you’ll always have a slightly positive
or negative charge. So, it’s not just that you attend it’s
how you attend that counts. Does that make sense? Hmm. Because it makes sense, if you think about
the memory thing we just talked about. When you pay attention to it, whilst feeling
really crappy, you’re giving it crappy attention. Whereas, once you pay attention to it, even
if your body feels crappy but you say it’s okay. That’s a benign attention, an accepting
rather than rejecting mindset and that alone starts to erode the problem and this is the
genius, I think, of Buddhist psychology. It’s just the magic word it’s okay. If you want to boil it all down, even Mind
Bending Language, to the bare nub of it all is…. Step one pay attention
Step two it’s okay Step three, hang around long enough for your
body to do what it does best which is, resolve the problem. But don’t leave, because you can’t solve
the problem if you’re not there. Does that make sense? Now, we haven’t really gotten into content,
but as a quick reintegration because we’re going out into space a little here, in terms
of what you’ve come across in Mind Bending Language so far, do the concepts we’re discussing
right now suddenly simplify the whole formula to some degree? It doesn’t necessarily give you an exact
strategy. What’s the step-by-step process you do? Because that’s the point, you can no more
script the mind bending conversation than any other conversation. Has anyone here ever tried to script a conversation
with a friend, especially a hard one, a boss or colleague? When they don’t play their part it really
screws with you doesn’t it? That’s where you feel stuck with Mind Bending
Language. It’s because in your mind you’ve actually
already created a script and they’re not playing their part. That’s the bit that’s messing you up,
it’s not the Mind Bending Language, what do I say when they don’t do this. Well, give me the context. It’s not what you say that counts, it’s
being aware of the moment and understanding what the moment means, so each moment can
help you define how to shape the next moment. That’s all you care about in Mind Bending
Language, what is the next moment? I’ve never, in my entire life, had a Mind
Bending Language intervention where I knew at the start how I would finish up. I might have had a general sense of it, but
I have never known what would be the thing to say or the thing to do, that’s always
emerged organically in a conversation. Does that make sense? This is also why, going back to the Mind Bending
Language Mastery DVDs, have you noticed how most of the time we focus on asking questions
that explore different things? That’s why. You have to find out where has attention slipped?

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