I’m gonna read two poems about pirates for you. Er, the first poem is called ‘Pirates’. The vegetarian pirate has a carrot instead of a parrot. Which doesn’t make much sense but is handy if he ever needs
a nutritious snack halfway through the day. The other poem about pirates is called ‘Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Diet Coke Please Thank You Ever So Much (A Poem For Polite Pirates).’ And it’s like a little bit of a song, this one. Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest
the dead man growing flatter, you’d only fit seven on
if some of them were fatter. Er, so that’s the two pirate poems for you, thank you.