The other day, I was denied entry into
a movie that was rated R, because in the film they say the word fuck. Three
times. And apparently, I as a 16 year old girl still have enough shards of my mangled
innocence left to where I’d be disturbed by such an explicit script. Disturbed…as if
anybody my age cares about graphic language, violence, sexuality, drug use, or
anything else that would constitute a movie to be rated R. It’s as if they’ve
never set foot inside of a public high school before. We may not be able to see
these things on screen, however we grab our popcorn and go to class as we
watch these unholy events unfold right before our virgin eyes and you…You act like
we’ve never seen this shit before! Freshman year I saw a girl get the
morning, noon, and night get kicked out of her. Over money. When the sole of the shoe hit her face it felt soulless. From across the hall my mouth went copper with the taste of the
pennies owed and the blood lost teeth inhaled from the blow and then the bell
rang, and it was just another Monday, and you act like we’ve never seen this shit
before. Four months ago I found a trail of heroin needles in my school parking
lot. And I followed the yellow lined road down where my best friend lay. His hands
were purple, his lips were blue, his nose was white with red bloodlines, red green
Christmas colored eyes he looked like a holiday gone wrong. I tried to get him to throw
it all up but he wanted to keep it all inside. He had so many needles sticking
out of him he looked like a voodoo doll for a porcupine, and I asked him what was wrong.
He said he couldn’t tell his lefts from his rights. Because she left him and now he’s fucked up and he can’t do anything right He just wants to see the light and the next
morning he wakes up and he’s just fine. You can’t even track this track marks
and it’s just another Tuesday. And you act like we’ve never seen this shit before.
Some school banned us from reading The Hunger Games. On account of kids
killing kids is too grotesquely unimaginable. However kids killing kids wouldn’t be such a foreign concept had you looked at our own suicide statistics.
Because one of every six of us is walking around with candy cane tiger striped looking arms and glassy eyes. You say our generation’s entitled but that doesn’t entitle our genocide. Who’s side are you on?
when another 12 year old’s dead because he came out as gay and it’s just another Wednesday.
And when another 14 year olds dead because she thought she was fat when she was
really sixty pounds and six feet under and it’s just another Thursday. And when
another 14 year olds dead. For being black and “disorderly,” and it’s just
another Friday and you act like we’ve never seen this shit before. The greatest
lessons I ever learned didn’t come in the classroom. They came when my friend
gave herself a vitamin C pill abortion when she couldn’t find a coat hanger. When I was late to school for stopping a suicide. when my ex-girlfriend was
electro-converted so hard she forgot my damn birthday. When I was raped in the
school parking lot. When I saw a boy my age down a bottle of Everclear like it was spring
water and called Death bitch for not taking him right then and there. You act like
you don’t care about your own posperity. You act like we’ve never seen
this shit before. But oh…We have. And it wasn’t on no movie screen no…No it was
just another school day