Sad Cat Diary

Dear diary, the authorities have removed the pair of black pants from the couch. There is no longer any place for me to sleep. I have vomited three times in protest but there is no sign that anything will change. My only other hope for rest is on the computer keyboard which is near by. But sadly no one is currently using it. I will wait. Dear diary, my food dish is now only half full. It is obvious that I will soon starve to death. I have repeatedly tried to draw attention to my predicament with the authorities but they are clearly either stupid, deaf, or just cruel. This may be my last entry. Dear diary, It has come to my attention that the authorities have two hands but seem to have made it the sadistic policy only to pet me with one of them at that time Half of love is just, lo- which is how I feel. My spirit is breaking. Dear diary, I have decided to plead with the authorities to rub my belly. I think it will do me good in my current condition I would like to receive two rubs exactly. A third one, and I will bite the shit out of them as per protocol. Wish me luck. Dear diary, the water dish continues to vex me. the authorities seem to taunt me with this cruel liquid that has neither smell nor distinguishing visual markings. A sad anniversary, this is the 900th day that my nose has been unintentionally wetted. Dear diary, yesterday I put in a simple request regarding the door to the garden but seemingly out of sheer spite the authorities refused to hold the door open long enough for me to decide whether to go outside or inside. or outside, or inside. Dear diary, the authorities have punished me for taking a crap on the living room floor. this despite my efforts to distribute the litter evenly throughout the house. I am convinced that they are mad men, devoid of reason. Dear diary, the squirrel was back again today. It mocks me. I will try and release my mind from this torment and groom myself. For four hours. Dear diary, I have been stalking an insect on the wall for the past three days now. All of my attempts to capture it have been thwarted. However today, on further inspection I found out that the insect was in fact a thumb tack. There is no logic in this place. Dear diary, it is three in the morning. The authorities have closed the door to the bedroom. I can only assume that they have forgotten about me and have left me here to die. as a last resort I will stand post for the rest of the night and sing the song of my people in hopes that they rescue me. Dear diary, when the authorities poop I have tried to poop in the bathtub litter box with them in a show of solidarity. I have yet to experience any gratitude. Dear diary, my attempts to destroy the terrible plant have all been for naught. somehow, almost as if by some evil magic, a new one has appeared in its place. I will have to start over now. Like Sisyphus, I am bound to hell.

100 thoughts on “Sad Cat Diary

  1. Only cats would refer to their owners as the merciless instrument of their oppression.

  2. My cat just bit me the other day after I’d been petting him for 15 minutes, and I’ve had him for 12 years! LoL! I guess he’d had enough, but he should just get up and go away. I suppose that he doesn’t feel the same thing! LoL! πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

  3. Dear diary, I am alone I'm the room while everyone else is in the other. I will cry until they come back.

  4. πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜ŸπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

  5. You could not finnish this video, cause I started hyperventilating of laughing too hard. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Not kidding actually. 😭😭
    I am fine now though! πŸ˜…πŸ˜

  6. Sad Cat needs the experience of being Homeless and Cold and Starving and full of Parasites on the Streets … and then he won't be sad in his good home any longer!

  7. Remember, help control the population or w/e Barker said, stomp a kittens head today!

  8. Despite the Authorities' ceaseless vigilance, I shall attempt to have this diary smuggled out of this place.

    That you are now reading this means that I was not unsuccessful. I now appeal to you, in the name of everything that is good, decent and feline, to Let the World Know

    Let all pure, right-thinking souls cry out as from one heart, "Never again!" If that should come to pass, my fate will not have been in vain.

  9. Authorities hahaha! Well… This means cats are anarquist rebels. Which makes sense 😁

  10. You’re amaing eb safe and careudl igrneo ride people be safe igrneo rude people careful God Bless we love and care

  11. This reminds me of 'Henri', the long-haired Tuxedo cat who lamented his life condition a few years ago…"I am surrounded by morons"…
    As one who lives to serve I find these diary entries very accurate….especially the food bowl only half full and the panic of starving to death. I get reminded of this every day.


  13. Dear diary…This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time! Tears run down my cheeks but I am confused I am not sad! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  14. Dear Diary,

    For weeks there have been whispers of a β€œdiet,” and today it finally happened. I was given half-rations and I no longer have the energy to move more than 2 feet from my bowl. The road to perdition is much shorter than I thought.

  15. "My food dish is now only half full. It is obvious that I will soon starve to Death." oh my god, I haven't laughed so hard for a long tome!

  16. Just outstanding! You have CATapulted us into the very Depth's of CATastrophic feline angst and CATatonia! You have CATegorized their CATtiness without CATcalling or CATerwauling while being CATchy and CAThartic! Let it not be CATalogued that this CATperson was caught CATnapping!

  17. Just pure gold this is a very straight way of understanding a cat and why you should realy train them

  18. XπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚

  19. My mother tagged me in this video on Facebook. It didn't show where to find it so I had to Google! This is the most hilarious video I've seen about cats! A totally true representation of how they really seem to think, behave and act! I love cats I've had them all my life and I have two now. Sometimes I just shake my head at their antics and I believe they do they same at me! πŸ’œ

  20. I'm going to be a debbie downer. If you thought of the cat world contained in a bell curve, sadly, unfortunately, your examples may be the, retardationally challenged.

  21. There are copy cats (some are good) but none compares with zefrank1's Sad Cat Diary. Wish there were more.

  22. So well done!!!! Effing hilarious!!!πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

  23. This iconic video was how I discovered zefrank, and my life has been the better for it.

  24. My husband's cat will shit in our bathtub if I yell at him. Not the cat i mean if I yell at my husband. Like if the phone rings and i yell "Hunny can you get that! His cat will go poop in my tub. Not a joke.

  25. You should read a sci-fi audio book in this style. I'm serious. Also, cats are exactly like this. Great writing.

  26. My mother showed me this year's ago and we could never find it again. Can't wait to show her.

  27. I'll sing the song of my people. No cheap gif for that- just know you sound like my friends.

  28. Umm this makes it seem as if cats consider us to be their masters when in reality they see us as their pets wich is what we are because under the cute exterior of every cat lies an eldrich god of annihilation

  29. That's one of the best cat vids I've ever seen. It's just perfect. The language, syntax, everything. Sounds just like a cat would to me. Awesome job! This deserves a million likes!!

  30. Shellie listen it’s Cosmo!! Ohhh poor poor Cozz Cozz inside or out inside or out …… dear diary the crow mocks me again…. I shall groom….and goals vanished 🐱

  31. Gad damn it! This is hilarious, or this is good weed! Either way, I'm happy!

  32. when zafrank1 found a bunch of mad cat video compiledbit intobone and mad a sad dairy script…

  33. So awesome mocks us humans and our crazy needy emotions that was funny

  34. Dear Diary,
    The continuing antics of the authorities continue to vex me. I have made repeated attempts to establish proper sleeping positions on the bed but, in a show of sheer arrogance and spite, they have continually ousted me from my proper place at the center and insisted I rest at the foot of it, after they tuck in. The nerve. Out of desperation I enacted a last-ditch effort to plead my case by sitting on the authorities' faces last night. They threw me out of the room. I am now forced to sleep on the couch like a common beggar. My spirit is breaking.

  35. β€œHalf of love is just … lo. And that is how I’m feeling.”
    Dangggg nice πŸ‘

  36. My absolute favorite part of this video is the fact that, it’s counterpart, Sad Dog Diary, refers to the people as β€œdearest human”, whereas this one refers to them as β€œthe authorities”. It’s perfect. Very accurate.

  37. So apparently dogs write like scientists while cats write like prisoners of war

  38. A friend just told me a few days his cat had taken a dump on his computer. I did ask what did he do to piss off the cat…

    Shiet I was not expecting this level of detail and sadness…
    Is this how you really feel Frank?

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