Scenes of Clerical Life | George Eliot | General Fiction | Audiobook Full | English | 4/9

chapter four of mr. Gill fools love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter four in three months from the time of Catarina's adoption namely he in the late autumn of 1773 the chimneys of several manor were sending up unwanted smoke and the servants were awaiting in excitement of the return of their master and mistress after a two years absence great was the astonishment of mrs. Bellamy the housekeeper when mr. Warren lifted a little black eyed child out of the carriage and great was mrs. sharps a sense of superior information and experience as she detailed Catarina's history interspersed with copious comments to the rest of the upper surface that evening as they were taking a comfortable glass of grog together in the housekeeper's room a pleasant room it was as any party need desire to muster and on a cold November evening the fireplace alone was a picture a wide and deep recess with a low brick altar in the middle where great logs of dry wood sent myriad sparks up the dark chimney throat and over the front of this recess a large wooden and tablature bearing this motto finely carved in old English letters fear God and honor the king and beyond the party who formed a half moon with their chairs and well furnished table around this bright fireplace what a space of chiaroscuro for the imagination to revel in stretching across the far end of the room what an oak table high enough surely for Homer's gods standing on four massive legs bossed and bulging like sculptured urns and lining the distant wall what vast cupboards suggestive of inexhaustible apricot jam and promiscuous Butler's perquisites astray picture or two had found their way down here and made agreeable patches of dark brown on the buff colored walls high over the loud resounding Dumbledore hung one which from some indications of a face looming out of blackness might buy a great synthetic effort he pronounced a Magdalene considerably lower down hung the similitude of a hat and feathers with portions of a rough stated by mrs. Bellamy she represents Sir Francis Bacon who invented gunpowder and in her opinion might have been better implied but this evening the mind is but slightly arrested by the great very alum and is in the humour to think a dead philosopher less interesting than a living gardener who sits conspicuous in the half circle around the fireplace mr. Bates is habitually a guest in the housekeeper's room of an evening preferring the social pleasures there the feast of gossip and the flow of grog to a bachelors chair in his charming thatched cottage on a little island where every sound is remote but to the calling of rooks and the screaming of wild geese poetic sounds doubtless but humanly speaking not convivial mr. Bates was by no means an average person to be passed without special notice he was a sturdy York Sherman approaching forty whose face nature seemed to have colored when she was in a hurry and had no time to attend to nuances for every inch of him visible above his neck cloth was of one impartial redness so that when he was at some distance your imagination was at liberty to place his lips anywhere between his nose and chin seemed closer his lips were discerned to be of a peculiar cut and I fancy this had something to do with the peculiarity of his dialect which as we shall see was individual rather than provincial mr. Bates was further distinguished from the common herd by a perpetual blinking of the eyes and this together with the red rose tint of his complexion and away he had of hanging his head forward and rolling it from side to side as he walked gave him the air of a Bacchus in a blue apron who in the present reduced circumstances of Olympus had taken to the management of his own vines yet as gluttons are often thin so sober men are often rubicund and mr. Bates was sober with that manly British churchmen like sobriety which can carry a few glasses of grog without any perceptible car of ideas dang my Bouton's observed mr. Bates who at the conclusion of mrs. sharps narrative felt himself urged to his strongest interjection it's what I shouldn't have looked for from Sir Christopher and my Letty to bring a Ferrand child into the country and depend on it whether you and me lives to see it her knew it'll come to some harm the first situation if her I held it was a hold hinge and happy with the biggest orchard of apples and pears you ever see there was a French valet and he stools silks tucán and shirts and rings and everything he could lay his hands on and run away at last with the mrs. jewel box they're all alike them foreigners it ruins in the blood well said mrs. sharp with the air of a person who held liberal views but knew where to draw the line I'm not going to defend the furnitures for I've as good reason to know what they are as most folks and nobody will ever hear me say but what they're next door to heathens and the Heil they eat with their vittles is enough to turn any Christian stomach but for all that and for all is the trouble in respect to Washington and managing has fell upon me through the journey I can't say but what I think is my lady as Sir Christopher's done a great thing by a Hinna Sancho this doesn't know his right hand from its left you're bringing it where it'll learned to speak somewhat better nor Jewish and be brought up here the true religion for as for them fur and churches as Sir Christopher is so unaccountable mad after with pictures of men and women are showing themselves just for all the world as God made him I think for my part it's as Welli a sin to go into him you're likely to have more foreigners however said mr. warren who liked to provoke the gardener for sir christopher has engaged some italian workmen to help in the alterations in the house alterations exclaimed mrs. Bellamy in alarm what alterations why answered mr. Warren Sir Christopher as I understand is going to make a new thing of the old manor-house both inside and out and he's got portfolios full of plans and pictures coming it is to be cased with stone in the Gothic style pretty near like the church as you know as far as I can make out and the ceilings are to be beyond anything that's been seen in the country sir Christopher's been giving a deal of study to it dear heart alive said mrs. Bellamy we shall be poisoned with lime and plaster and have the house full of workmen coloca with the maids and making no end of mischief that she may lay your life on mrs. Bellamy said mr. Bates however I'll knit de neige that the Gothic stay is privy enough and it's wonderful how near them student Carver's cut suit the shapes of the pineapples and shamrocks andrews's I dare say Sir Christopher owned like an eighth thing of the matter and there won't be many gentlemen's houses in the country as will come up to it with such a garden and pleasure grooms and wild fruit as King George may to be pruned on well I can't think as the house can be better nor it is gothic or no gothic said mrs. Bellamy and I've done the pickling and preserving that fourteen year Michaelmas was a three weeks but what does my ladies say to it my lady knows better than cross'd Sir Christopher and what he set his mind on said mr. Bellamy who objected to the critical tone of the conversation Sir Christopher will have his own way that you may take your oath and do the right on it too he's a gentleman born and got the money but come mr. Bates fill your glass and will drink health and happiness to his honor and my lady and then you shall give us a song Sir Christopher doesn't come home for Italy every night this demonstrable position was accepted without hesitation as ground for a toast but mr. Bates apparently thinking that his song was not an equally reasonable sequence ignored the second part of mr. Bellamy's proposal so mrs. sharp who had been heard to say that she had no thoughts at all of marrying mr. Bates though he was a sensible fresh colored man as many a woman at snap at for a husband and forced mr. Bellamy's appeal come mr. Bates let us hear Roy's wife I'd rather hear a good old song like that nor all the fine Italian to de lijn mr. Bates urged thus flatteringly stuck his thumbs into the armholes of his waistcoat threw himself back in his chair with his head in that position in which he could look directly towards the zenith and a remarkably staccato rendering of Roy's wife of a lava lock this melody may certainly be taxed with excessive iteration but that was precisely its highest recommendation to the present audience who found it all the easier to swell the chorus nor did it at all diminish their pleasure that the only particular concerning Roy's wife which mr. Bates's enunciation allowed them to gather was that she cheated him whether in the matter of garden stuff or of some other commodity or why her name should in consequence be repeatedly reiterated with exaltation remaining an agreeable mystery mr. Bates's song formed the climax of the evenings good fellowship and the party soon after dispersed mrs. Bellamy perhaps to dream of quicklime flying among her preserving pans or of lovesick house maids reckless of unswept corners and mrs. sharp to sink into Pleasant visions of independent housekeeping in mr. Bates's cottage with no bells to answer and with fruit and vegetables ad libitum catarina soon conquered all prejudices against her foreign blood for what prejudices will hold out against helplessness and broken prattle she became the pet of the household thrusting Sir Christopher's favorite bloodhound of that day mrs. Bellamy's two Canaries and mr. Bates's largest Dorking hen into a merely secondary position the consequence was that in the space of a summers day she went through a great cycle of experiences commencing with the somewhat acidic goodwill of mrs. sharps nursery discipline then came the grave luxury of her ladyship's sitting-room and perhaps the dignity of a ride on Sir Christopher's knee sometimes followed by a visit with him to the stables where Caterina soon learned to hear without crying the baying of the chained bloodhounds and say with ostentatious bravery clinging to sue Christopher's leg all the while they not hurt Tina then mrs. Bellamy would perhaps be going out to gather the Rose leaves and lavender and Tina was made proud and happy by being allowed to carry a handful in her pinafore happier still when they were spread out on sheets to dry so that she could sit down like a frog among them and have them poured over her in fragrant showers another frequent pleasure was to take a journey with mr. Bates through the kitchen gardens and the hot houses where the rich bunches of green and purple grapes hung from the roof far out of the reach of the tiny yellow hand that could not help stretching itself out towards them though the hand was sure at last to be satisfied with some delicate flavored fruit or sweet scented flower indeed in the long monotonous leisure of that great country house you may be sure there was always someone who had nothing better to do than to play with Tina so that the little southern bird had its northern nest lined with tenderness and caresses and pretty things a loving sensitive nature was too likely under such nurture to have its susceptibility heightened into unfitness for an encounter with any harder experience all the more because there were gleams of fierce resistance to any discipline that had a harsh or unloving aspect for the only thing in which Katarina showed any precocity was a certain ingenuity in vindictiveness when she was five years old she had revenged herself for an unpleasant prohibition by pouring the ink into mrs. sharps work basket and once when lady several took her doll from her because she was affectionately licking the paint off its face the little minx straightway climbed on a chair and threw down a flower of Oz that stood on a bracket this was almost the only instance in which her anger overcame her ah of Lady several who had the offended see always belonging to kindness that never melts into caresses and is severely but uniform the beneficence by and by the happy monotony of Chevron Manor was broken in upon in the way mr. Warren had announced the roads through the park were cut up by wagons carrying loads of stone from a neighboring quarry the green courtyard became dusty with lime and the peaceful house rang with the sound of tools for the next 10 years Sir Christopher was occupied with the architectural metamorphosis of his old family mansion thus anticipating through the prompting of his individual tastes that general reaction from the insipid imitation of the Palladian style towards a restoration of the Gothic which marked the close of the 18th century this was the object he had set his heart on with a singleness of determination which was regarded with not a little contempt by his foxhunting neighbors who wondered greatly that a man with some of the best blood in England in his veins should be mean enough to economize in his cellar and reduce his studs to to old coach horses and a hack for the sake of riding a hobby and playing the architect their wives did not see so much to blame in the matter of the cellar and stables but they were eloquent in pity for poor lady several who had to live in no more than three rooms at once and who must be distracted with noises and have her Constitution undermined by unhealthy smells it was as bad as having a husband with an asthma why did not sir Christopher take a house for her at Bath or at least if he must spend his time in overlooking workmen somewhere in the neighbourhood of the manor this pity was quite gratuitous as the most plentiful pity always is for the lady several did not share her husband's architectural enthusiasm she had too rigorous of view of a wife's duties and too profound a deference for Sir Christopher to regard submission as a grievance as force' Christopher he was perfectly indifferent to criticism an obstinate crotchety man said his neighbours but I who have seen several manner as he bequeathed it to his heirs rather attribute that unswerving architectural purpose of his conceived and carried out through long years of systematic personal exertion to something of the fervor of genius as well as in flexibility of well and in walking through those rooms with their splendid ceilings and their meager furniture which tell how all the spare money had been absorbed before personal comfort was thought of I have felt that there dwelt in this old English baronet some of that sublime spirit which distinguishes art from luxury and worships Beauty apart from self-indulgence while several manner was growing from ugliness into beauty Caterina too was growing from a little yellow bantling into a whiter maiden with no positive Beauty indeed but with a certain light airy grace which with her large appealing dark eyes and a voice that in its low toned tenderness recalled the love notes of the stock dev gave her a more than usual charm unlike the building however Catarina's development was the result of no systematic or careful appliances she grew up very much like the primroses which the gardener is not sorry to see within his enclosure but takes no pains to cultivate lady several taught her to read and write and say her catechism mr. warren being a good accountant gave her lessons in arithmetic by her ladyship's desire and mrs. sharp initiated her in all the mysteries of the needle but for a long time there was no thought of giving her any more elaborate education it is very likely that to her dying day Ekaterina thought the Earth Stood Still and that the Sun then stars moved round it but soul for the matter of that did Helen and Dido and Desdemona and Juliet whence I hope you will not think my Katerina less worthy to be a heroine on that account the truth is that with one exception only talent lay in loving and there it is probable the most astronomical of women could not have surpassed her orphan and protege though she was this supreme talent of hers found plenty of exercise at several Manor and Katerina had more people to love than many a small lady and gentleman affluent and silver mugs and blood relations I think the first place in her childish heart was given to Sir Christopher four little girls are apt to attach themselves to the finest looking gentleman at hand especially as he seldom has anything to do with discipline next to the baronet came Dorcas the merry rosy cheeked damsel who was mrs. sharps lieutenant in the nursery and thus played the part of the reasons in a dose of sin aye it was a black day for Catarina when Dorcas married the coachman and went with a great sense of elevation in the world to preside over a public in the noisy town of Sloviter a little China box bearing the motto though lost to sight to memory dear which Dorcas sent her as a remembrance was among Catarina's treasures ten years after the one other exceptional talent you already guests was music when the fact the Caterina had a remarkable ear for music and a still more remarkable voice attracted Lady Charles notice the discovery was very welcome both to her and sacristy fur her musical education became at once an object of interest Lady several devoted much time to it and the rapidity of Tina's progress surpassing all hopes an Italian singing master was engaged for several years to spend some months together at several Manor this unexpected gift made a great alteration in Caterina's position after those first years in which little girls are petted like puppies and kittens there comes a time when it seems less obvious what they can be good for especially when like Caterina they give no particular promise of cleverness or beauty and it is not surprising that in that uninteresting period there was no particular plan formed as to her future position she could always help mrs. sharp supposing she were fit for nothing else as she grew up but now this rare gift of song endeared her to Lady several who loved music above all things and its associated her at once with the pleasures of the drawing-room insensibly she came to be regarded as one of the family and the servants began to understand that mrs. Aarti was to be a lady after all and the rate on it too said mr. pace for she hasn't the cut of a galas must work for her bread she's as nishan delicate as a page blossom well II like a Linnet were only juste body enough to hold her voice but long before Tina had reached this stage of her history a new era had begun for her in the arrival of a younger companion than any she had heavy to known when she was no more than seven award of Sir Christopher's a lad of fifteen Maynard Gill fall by name began to spend his vacations at several Manor and found there no playfellow so much to his mind as katarina Maynard was an affectionate lad who retained a propensity to white rabbits pet squirrels and guinea pigs perhaps a little beyond to the age at which young gentlemen usually looked down on such pleasures as pure oil he was also much given to fishing and to carpentry considered as a fine art without any base view to utility and in all these pleasures it was his delight to have Katerina as his companion to call her little pet names answer her wandering questions and have her toddling after him as you may have seen a blenheim spaniel trotting after a large setter whenever maynard went back to school there was a little scene of parting you won't forget me Tina before I come back again I shall leave you all the whipped cord we've made and don't you let you need I come give me a kiss and promise not to freak as the years were on and Maynard passed from school to college and from a slim lad to a stalwart young man their companionship in the vacations necessarily took a different form but it retained a brotherly and sisterly familiarity with Maynard the boyish affection had insensibly grown into ardent love among all the many kinds of first love that which begins in childish companionship is the strongest and most enduring when passion comes to unite its force too long affection love is that it's spring tide and Maynard Gill foals love was of a kind to make him prefer being tormented by katarina to any pleasure apart from her which the most benevolent magician could have devised for him it is the way with those tall large limbed men from samson downwards as for tina the little minx was perfectly well aware that Maynard was her slave he was the one person in the world whom she did as she pleased with and I need not tell you that this was a symptom of her being perfectly heart whole so far as he was concerned for a passionate woman's love is always overshadowed by fear Maynard a GILF 'l did not deceive himself in his interpretation of Catarina's feelings but he nursed the hope that some time or other she would at least care enough for him to accept his love so he waited patiently for the day when he might venture to say Katarina I love you you see he would have been content with very little being one of those men who passed through life without making the least clamor about themselves thinking neither the cut of his coat nor the flavor of his soup nor the precise depth of a servant's bow at all momentous he thought foolishly enough his lovers will think that it was a good augury for him when he came to be domesticated at several manner in the quality of Chaplin there and cure it of a neighbouring parish judging falsely from his own case that habit and affection were the likeliest avenues to love Sir Christopher satisfied several feelings in installing Maynard as chaplain in his house he liked the old-fashioned dignity of that domestic appendage he liked his wards companionship and as Maynard had some private fortune he might take life easily in that agreeable home keeping his hunter and observing a mild regimen of clerical Duty until the Cumbre more living should fall in when he might be settled for life in the neighbourhood of the manor with Katharina for a wife to Sir Christopher soon began to think for though the good baronet was not at all quick to suspect what was unpleasant and opposed to his views of fitness he was quick to see what would dovetail with his own plans and he had first guests and then ascertained by direct inquiry the state of maynard's feelings he at once leapt to the conclusion that Catarina was of the same mind or at least would be when she was old enough but these were too early days for anything definite to be said or done meanwhile new circumstances were arising which though they made no change in Sir Christopher his plans and prospects converted mr. gills hopes into anxieties and made it clear to him not only that Catarina's heart was never likely to be his but that it was given entirely to another once or twice in Catarina's childhood there had been another boy visitor in the manor younger than Maynard GILF Oh a beautiful boy with brown curls and splendid clothes on whom Catarina had looked with shy admiration this was Anthony why brow the son of Sir Christopher's youngest sister and chosen heir of Jerell Manor the baronet had sacrificed a large sum and even straightened the resources by which he was to carry out his architectural schemes for the sake of remove the inhale from his estate and making this boy his heir moved to the step I am sorry to say by an implacable quarrel with his elder sister for a power of forgiveness was not among Sir Christopher's virtues at length on the death of Anthony's mother when he was no longer a curly-headed boy but a tall young man with a captain's Commission several manner became his home to whenever he was absent from his regiment Katharina was then a little woman between 16 and 17 and I need not spend many words in explaining what you perceived to be the most natural thing in the world there was little company kept at the manor and captain why brow would have been much duller if Katharina had not been there it was pleasant to pay her attentions to speak to her in gentle tones to see her little flutter of pleasure the blush that just lit up her pale cheek and the momentary timid glance of her dark eyes when he praised her singing leaning at her side over the piano pleasant too to cut out of that chaplain with his large calves what idle man can withstand the temptation of a woman to fascinate and another man to eclipse especially when it is quite clear to himself that he means no mischief and shall leave everything to come right again by and by at the end of 18 months however during which captain why brow had spent much of his time at the Manor he found that matters had reached a point which she had not at all contemplated gentle tones had led to tender words and tender words had called forth a response of looks which made it impossible not to carry on the crescendo of lovemaking to find oneself adored by a little graceful dark-eyed sweet singing woman whom no one need despise is an agreeable sensation comparable to smoking the finest Latakia and also imposes some return of tenderness as a duty perhaps you think that captain why brow who knew that it would be ridiculous to dream of his marrying Katharina must have been a reckless libertine to win her affections in this manner not at all he was a young man of calm passions who was rarely led into any conduct of which he could not give a plausible account to himself and the tiny fragile Katharina was a woman who touched the imagination and the affections rather than the census he really felt very kindly towards her and would very likely have loved her if he had been able to love anyone but nature had not endowed him with that capability she had given him an admirable figure the whitest of hands the most delicate of nostrils and a large amount of serene self-satisfaction but as if to save such a delicate piece of work from any risk of being shattered she had guarded him from the liability to a strong emotion there was no list of youthful misdemeanors on record against him and Sir Christopher and Lady several thought him the best of nephews the most satisfactory of heirs full of grateful deference to themselves and above all things guided by a sense of duty captain why brow always did the thing easiest and most agreeable to him from a sense of duty he dressed expensively because it was a duty he owed to his position from a sense of duty he adapted himself to see Christopher 'he's inflexible will which should would have been troublesome as well as useless to resist and being of a delicate Constitution he took care of his health from a sense of duty his health was the only point on which he gave anxiety to his friends and it was owing to this that's-i Christopher wished to see his nephew early married the more so as a match after the baronet's own heart appeared immediately attainable Anthony had seen and admired miss aster the only child of a lady who had been Sir Christopher's earliest love but who as things will happen in this world had married another baronet instead of him miss Esther's father was now dead and she was in possession of a pretty estate if as was probable she should prove susceptible to the merits of Anthony's person and character nothing could make Sir Christopher so happy as to see a marriage which might be expected to secure the inheritance of several manor from getting into the wrong hands Anthony had already been kindly received by Lady as sure as the nephew of her early friend why should he not go to Bath where she and her daughter were then residing follow up the acquaintance and win a handsome well borne and sufficiently wealthy bride Sir Christopher's wishes were communicated to his nephew who at once intimated his willingness to comply with them from a sense of duty Katarina was tenderly informed by her lover of the sacrifice demanded from them both and three days afterwards occurred the parting scene you have witnessed in the gallery on the eve of captain why Brow's departure for bath end of chapter 4 of mr. Gill fools love story you Chapter five of mr. Gill Phil's love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter five the inexorable ticking of the clock is like the throb of pain two sensations made Keen by a sickening fear and so it is with the great clockwork of nature daisies and buttercups give way to the brown waving grasses tinged with the warm red sorrel the waving grasses are swept away and the meadows lie like emeralds set in the bushy hedgerows the tawny tipped corn begins to bow with the weight of the full ear the Reapers are bending amongst it and it's soon stands and she's then presently the patches of yellow stubble lie side by side with streaks of dark red earth which the plow is turning up in preparation for the new thrashed seed and this passage from beauty to beauty which to the happy is like the flow of a melody measures for many a human heart the approach of foreseen anguish seems hurrying on the moment when the shadow of dread will be followed up by the reality of despair how cruelly hey Steve at summer of 1788 seemed to Katharina surely the roses vanished earlier and the berries on the mountain ash were more impatient to redden and bring on the autumn when she would be face to face with her misery and witness Anthony giving all his gentle tones tender words and soft looks to another before the end of July captain why brow had written word to that lady as sure and her daughter were about to fly from the heat and gaiety of Bath to the shady quiet of their place at Farley and that he was invited to join the party there his letters implied that he was on an excellent footing with both the ladies and gave no hint of arrival so that Sir Christopher was more than usually bright and cheerful after reading them at length towards the close of August came the announcement that captain Y brow was an accepted lover and after much complimentary and congratulatory correspondence between the two families it was understood that in September lady astor and her daughter would pay a visit to several manor when Beatrice would make the acquaintance of her future relatives and all needful arrangements could be discussed captain why brow would remain at Farley till then and accompany the ladies on their journey in the interval everyone at Chevron Manor had something to do by way of preparing for the visitors Sir Christopher was occupied in consultations with his steward and lawyer and in giving orders to everyone else especially in spurring on Francisco to finish the saloon mr. Gilfoyle had the responsibility of procuring a lady's horse missis sure being a great writer lady several had unwanted calls to make and invitations to deliver mr. Bates's tirtha and gravel and flowerbeds were always at such a point of neatness and finished that nothing extraordinary could be done in the garden except a little extraordinary scolding of the under gardener and this addition mr. Bates did not neglect happily for Caterina she too had her task to fill up the long dreary day time it was to finish a chair cushion which would complete the set of embroidered covers for the drawing-room Lady several year-long work and the only noteworthy bit of furniture in the matter over this embroidery she sat with cold lips and a palpitating heart thankful that this miserable sensation throughout to the daytime seemed to counteract the tendency to tears which returned with night and solitude she was most frightened when Sir Christopher approached her the baronet's I was brighter and his step more elastic than ever and it seemed to him that only the most leaden or churlish souls could be otherwise than brisk and exulting in a world where everything went so well dear old gentleman he had gone through a life a little flushed with the power of his will and now his latest plan was succeeding and several manner would be inherited by a grand nephew whom he might even yet live to see a fine young fellow with at least the down on his chin why not one is still young at sixty Sir Christopher had always something playful to say to Caterina now little monkey you must be in your best voice you're the minstrel of the manor you know and be sure you have a pretty gown and a new ribbon you must not be dressed in russet though you are a singing bird or perhaps it is your turn to be courted next Tina but don't you learn any naughty proud airs I must have Maynard let off easily Catarina's affection for the old baronet helped her to summon up a smile as he stroked her cheek and looked at her kindly but that was the moment at which she felt it most difficult not to burst out crying Lady Charles conversation and presence were less trying for her ladyship felt no more than calm satisfaction in this family event and besides she was further sobered by a little jealousy at Sir Christopher's anticipation of pleasure in seeing Lady Astor and shrined in his memory as a mild eyed beauty of sixteen with whom he had exchanged lakhs before he went on his first travels lady chevre would have died rather than confess it but she couldn't help hoping that he would be disappointed in lady Esther and rather ashamed of having called her so charming mr. Gill fool washed Catarina through these days with mixed feelings her suffering went to his heart but even for her sake he was glad that a love which could never come too good should be no longer fed by false hopes and how could he help saying to himself perhaps after a while Catarina will be tired of fretting about that cold-hearted puppy and then at length the much expected day arrived and the brightest of September Suns was lighting up the yellowing lime trees as about five o'clock lady s shears carriage drove under the portico Caterina seated at work in her own room heard the rolling of the wheels followed presently by the opening and shutting of doors and the sound of voices in the corridors remembering that the dinner hour was 6:00 and that lady several had desired her to be in the drawing-room early she started up to dress and was delighted to find herself feeling suddenly brave and strong curiosity to see miss Astor the thought that Anthony was in the house the wish not to look unattractive were feelings that brought some color to her lips and made it easy to attend to her toilette they would ask her to sing this evening and she would sing well miss Astor should not think her utterly insignificant so she put on her grey silk gown and her cherry coloured ribbon with as much care as if she had been herself the betrothed not forgetting the pair of round pearl earrings which Sir Christopher had told Lady chevreul to give her because Tina's little ears were so pretty quick as she had been she found Sir Christopher and Lady several in the drawing-room chatting with mr. Gilfoyle and telling him how handsome miss Astor was but how entirely unlike her mother apparently resembling her father only ha ha said Sir Christopher as he turned to look at Caterina what do you think of this Maynard did you ever see Tina look so pretty before why that little gray gown has been made out of a bit of my ladies hasn't it it doesn't take anything much larger than a pocket handkerchief to dress the little monkey lady several too serenely radiant in the assurance a single glance had given her of Lady asters inferiority smiled approval and Katerina was in one of those moods of self-possession and indifference which come as the ebb tide between the struggles of passion she retired to the piano and busied herself with arranging her music not at all insensible to the pleasure of being looked at with admiration the while and thinking that the next time the door opened captain why brow would enter and she would speak to him quite cheerfully but when she heard him come in and the scent of roses floated towards her her heart gave one great leap she knew nothing till he was pressing her hand and saying in the old easy way well Katarina how do you do you look quite blooming she felt her cheeks reddening with anger that he could speak and look with such perfect nonchalance ah he was too deeply in love with someone else to remember anything he had felt for her but the next moment she was conscious of her folly as if he could show any feeling then this conflict of emotions stretched into a long interval the few moments that he lapsed before the door opened again and her own attention as well as that of all the rest was absorbed by the entrance of the two ladies the daughter was the more striking from the contrast she presented to her mother a round shouldered middle sized woman who had once had the transient pink and white beauty of a blonde with ill-defined features and early on Bawa missis sure was tall and gracefully though substantially formed carrying herself with an air of mingled graciousness and self-confidence her dark brown hair untouched by powder hanging in bushy curls round her face and falling in long thick ringlets nearly to her waist the brilliant carmine tint of her well rounded cheeks and the finely cut outline of her straight nose produced the impression of splendid beauty in spite of commonplace brown eyes a narrow forehead and thin lips she was in mourning and the dead black of her crepe dress relieved here and there by jet ornaments gave the fullest effect to complexion and to the rounded whiteness of her arms bare from the elbow the first coup day was dazzling and as she stood looking down with a gracious smile on Catarina whom Lady chevre was presenting to her the poor little thing seemed to herself to feel for the first time all the folly of her former dream we are enchanted with your place Sir Christopher said Lady Astor with a feeble kind of pompous Ness which she seemed to be copying from someone else I'm sure your nephew must have thought Farley wretchedly out of order poor Sir John was so very careless about keeping up the house and grounds I often talked to him about it but he said poopoo as long as my friends find a good dinner and a good bottle of wine they won't care about my ceilings being rather smoky he was so very hospitable was Sir John I think the view of the house from the park just after we passed the bridge particularly fine said miss Astor interposing rather eagerly as if she feared her mother might be making in felicitous speeches and the pleasure of the first glimpse was all the greater because Anthony would describe nothing to us beforehand he would not spoil our first impressions by raising false ideas I long to go over the house Sir Christopher and learn the history of all your architectural designs which Anthony says have cost you so much time and study take care how you set an old man talking about the past my dear said the baronet I hope we shall find something pleasant here for you to do then turning over my old plans and pictures our friend mr. Gill fool here has found a beautiful mayor for you and you can scour the country to your heart's content Anthony has sent us word what a horsewoman you are miss Astor turned to mr. Gill fool with her most beaming smile and expressed her thanks with the elaborate graciousness of a person who means to be thought charming and is sure of success pray do not thank me said mr. Gill phone till you have tried the mayor she has been written by Lady Sarah linter for the last two years but one lady's taste may not be like another's in horses any more than in other matters while this conversation was passing captain why brow was leaning against the mantelpiece contenting himself with the responding from under his indolent eyelids to the glances miss Astor was constantly directing towards him as she spoke she is very much in love with him thought Catarina but she was relieved that Anthony remained passive in his attentions she thought too that he was looking paler and more languid than usual if he didn't love her very much if he sometimes thought of the past with regret I think I could bear it all and be glad to see Sir Christopher made happy during dinner there was a little incident which confirmed these thoughts when the sweets were on the table there was a mould of jelly just opposite captain why brow and being inclined to take some himself he first invited miss a sure who coloured and said in rather a sharper key than usual have you not learned by this time that I never take jelly don't you said captain why brow whose perceptions were not acute enough for him to notice the difference of a semitone I should have thought you were fond of it there was always some on the table at Farley I think you don't seem to take much interest in my likes and dislikes I'm too much possessed by the happy thought that you like me was the ex-officio reply in silvery tones this little episode was unnoticed by everyone but Caterina sir Christopher was listening with polite attention to Lady asters history of her lust man cook who was first-rate had gravies and for that reason pleased Sir John he was so particular about his gravies was Sir John and so they kept to the man's six years in spite of his bad pastry lady several and mr. Gilfoyle were smiling at Rupert the Bloodhound who had pushed his great head under his master's arm and was taking a survey of the dishes after snuffing at the contents of the baronet's plate when the ladies were in the drawing room again Lady Astor was soon deep in a statement to lady several of her views about burying people in woollen to be sure you must have a woolen dress because it's the law you know but that need him did no one from putting linen underneath I always used to say if Sir John died tomorrow I would bury him in his shirt and I didn't and let me advise you to do so by Sir Christopher you never saw Sir John Lee deed several he was a large tall man with a nose just like Beatrice and so very particular about his shirts miss Astor meanwhile had seated herself by katarina and with that smiling affability which seems to say I am really not at all proud though you might expect it of me said Anthony tells me you sing so very beautifully I hope we shall hear you this evening oh yes said Catarina quietly without smiling I always sing when I am wanted to sing I envy you such a charming talent do you know I have no ear I cannot hum the smallest June and I delight in music so is it not unfortunate but I shall have quite a treat while I am here captain why browses you will give us some music every day I should have thought you wouldn't care about music if you had no ear said Katerina becoming epigrammatic by force of grave simplicity oh I assure you I dote on it and Anthony is so fond of it it would be so delightful if I could play and sing to him though he says he likes me best not to sing because it doesn't belong to his idea of me what style of music do you like best I don't know I like all beautiful music and are you as fond of writing as of music no I never ride think I should be very frightened oh no indeed you would not after a little practice I have never been in the least timid I think Anthony is more afraid for me than I am for myself and since I have been riding with him I have been obliged to be more careful because he is so nervous about me Caterina made no reply but she said to herself I wish she would go away and not talk to me she only wants me to admire her good nature and to talk about Anthony miss Asher was thinking at the same time this miss Artie seems a stupid little thing those musical people often are but she is prettier than I expected Anthony said she was not pretty happily at this moment ladyasher called her daughter's attention to the embroidered cushions and massage her walking to the opposite sofa was soon in conversation with Lady several about tapestry and embroidery in general while her mother feeling herself superseded there came and placed herself beside Catarina I hear you are the most beautiful singer was of course the opening remark all Italians sing so beautifully I travelled in Italy with Sir John when we were first married and we went to Venice where they go about in gondolas you know you don't wear powder I see no more will Beatrice though many people think her curls would look all the better for powder she has so much hair hasn't she our last maid dressed it much better than this but do you know she wore Beatrice's stockings before they went to the wash and we couldn't keep her after that could we Caterina accepting the question as a mere bit of rhetorical effect thought it's superfluous to reply till lady astor repeated could we now Assaf Tina's sanction were essential to her repose of mind after a faint no she went on maids are so very troublesome and Beatrice is so particular you can't imagine I often say to her my dear you can't have perfection that very gown she has on to be sure it fits her beautifully now but it has been unmade and made up again twice but she is like poor Sir John he was so very particular about his own things was Sir John his lady several particular rather but mrs. sharp has been her maid 20 years I wish there was any chance of our keeping Griffin 20 years but I am afraid we shall have to part with her because her health is so delicate and she is so obstinate she will not take bitters as I want her you look delicate now let me recommend you to take chamomile tea in the morning fasting Beatrice is so strong and healthy she never takes any medicine but if I had had twenty girls and they had been delicate I should have given them all chamomile tea it strengthens the Constitution beyond anything now will you promise me to take chamomile tea thank you I'm not at all ill said Katerina I've always been pale and thin Lady Astor was sure chamomile tea which make all the difference in the world Katerina must see if it wouldn't and then went dribbling on like a leaky shower bath until the early entrance of the gentleman created a diversion and she fastened on Sir Christopher who probably began to think that for poetical purposes it would be better not to meet ones first love again after a lapse of 40 years captain why brow of course joined his aunt and miss Astor and mr. Gil 'full tried to relieve Katerina from the awkwardness of sitting aloof and dumb by telling her how a friend of his had broken his arm and staked his horse that morning not at all appearing to heed that she hardly listened and was looking towards the other side of the room one of the tortures of jealousy is that it can never turn its eyes away from the thing that pains it by-and-by everyone felt the need of a relief from chitchat Sir Christopher perhaps the most of all and it was he who made the acceptable proposition come Tina are we to have no music tonight before we sit down to cards your ladyship plays at cards I think he added to recollecting himself and turning to lady Astra oh yes poor Sir John would have a whist table every night Katarina sat down to the harpsichord at once and had no sooner begun to sing than she perceived with delight that captain why brow was gliding towards the harpsichord and soon standing in the old place this consciousness gave fresh strength to her voice and when she noticed that Miss Astor presently followed him with that air of ostentatious admiration which belongs to the absence of real enjoyment her closing bravura was none the worse for being animated by a little triumphant contempt why you are in better voice than ever Katerina said captain why brow when she had ended this is rather different from Miss Hibbert's small piping that we used to be glad if at Farley is it not Beatrice indeed it is you are a most enviable creature miss Archie Katerina may I not call you Katerina for I have heard Anthony speak of you so often I seem to know you quite well you will let me call you Katerina oh yes everyone calls me Katerina only when they call me Tina come come more singing more singing little monkey sir Christopher called eight from the other side of the room we have not had half enough yet Katerina was ready enough to obey for while she was singing she was queen of the room and miss Astor was reduced to grimacing admiration alas you see what jealousy was doing in this poor young soul Katerina who had passed her life as a little unobtrusive singing bird nestling so fondly under the wings that were outstretched for her her heart beating only to the peaceful rhythm of love or fluttering with some easily stifled fear had begun to know the fierce palpitations of triumph and hatred when the singing was over Sir Christopher and lady several sat down to whist with Lady Astor and mr. Gil fo and Katharina placed herself at the Annette's elbow as if to watch the game that she might not appear to thrust herself on the pair of lovers at first she was glowing with her little triumph and felt the strength of pride but her I would steal to the opposite side of the fireplace where captain y brow had seated himself close to massager and was leaning with his arm over the back of the chair in the most loverlike position catarina began to feel a choking sensation she could see almost without looking that he was taking up her arm to examine her bracelet their heads were bending close together her curls touching his cheek now he was putting his lips to her hand Katharina felt her cheeks burn she could sit no longer she got up pretended to be gliding about in search of something and at length slipped out of the room outside she took a candle and hurrying along the passages and up the stairs to her own room locked the door oh I cannot bear it I cannot bear it the poor thing burst out aloud clasping her little fingers and pressing them back against her forehead as she wanted to break them then she walked hurriedly up and down the room and this must go on for days and days and I must see it she looked about nervously for something to Klutch there was a muslin kerchief lying on the table she took it up and tore it into shreds as she walked up and down and then pressed it into hard balls in her hand and Anthony she thought he can do this without caring for what I feel oh he can forget everything how he used to say he loved me how he used to take my hand and his as we walked how he used to stand near me in the evenings for the sake of looking into my eyes oh it is cruel it is cruel she burst out to gain aloud as all those love moments in the past returned upon her then the tears gushed forth she threw herself on her knees by the bed and sobbed bitterly she did not know how long she had been there till she was startled by the prayer bow when thinking lady several might perhaps send someone to inquire after her she rose and began Heastie Lee to undress that there might be no possibility of her going down she had hardly unfastened her hair and thrown a loose gown about her before there was a knock at the door and mrs. sharps voice said miss Tina my lady wants to know if you're ill Katarina opened the door and said thank you dear mrs. sharp I have a bad headache please tell my lady I felt it come on after singing then goodness me why aren't you in bed instead of standing shivering they're fit to catch your death come let me fasten up your hair and tuck you up warm Oh No thank you I shall really be in bed very soon good night dear sharpy don't scold I will be good and get into bed Katarina kissed her old friend coaxingly but mrs. sharp was not to be come over in that way and insisted on seeing her firmer charge in bed taking away the candle which the poor child had wanted to keep as a companion but it was impossible to lie there long with that beating heart and the little white figure was soon out of bed again seeking relief in the very sense of chill and uncomfort it was light enough for her to see about her room for the moon nearly at fall was riding high in the heavens among scattered hurrying clouds Katarina drew aside the window-curtain and sitting with her forehead pressed against the cold pane looked out on the wide stretch of Park and lawn how dreary the moonlight is robbed of all its tenderness and repose by the hard-driving wind the trees are harassed by that tossing motion when they would like to be at rest the shivering grass makes her quake with sympathetic cold and the Willows by the pool bent low and white under that invisible harshness seemed agitated and helpless like herself but she loves the scene the better for its sadness there is some pity in it it is not like that hard unfeeling happiness of lovers flaunting in the eyes of misery she set her teeth tight against the window frame and the tears fell thick and fast she was so thankful she could cry for the mad passion she had felt when her eyes were dry frightened her if that dreadful feeling were to come on when lady several was present she should never be able to contain herself then there was Sir Christopher so good to her so happy about Anthony's marriage and all the while she had these wicked feelings oh I cannot help it I cannot help it she said in a loud whisper between her sobs Oh God have pity upon me in this way Tina wore out the long hours of the windy moonlight till at last with weary aching limbs she lay down in bed again and slept from mere exhaustion while this poor little heart was being bruised with a weight too heavy for it Nature was holding on her calm inexorable way in unmoved and terrible beauty the stars were rushing in their eternal courses the tides swelled to the level of the last expectant weed the Sun was making brilliant day too busy nations on the other side of the Swift earth the stream of human thought and deed was hurrying and broadening onward the astronomer was at his telescope the great ships were laboring over the waves the toiling eagerness of commerce the fierce spirit of revolution were only ebbing in brief rest and sleepless statesmen were dreading the possible crisis of the morrow what were our little Tina and her trouble in this mighty torrent rushing from one awful unknown to another later than the smallest center of quivering life in the water drop hidden and uncared far as the pulse of anguish in the breasts of the tiniest bird that has fluttered down to its nest with the long-sought food it has found the nest torn and empty end of chapter 5 of mr. Gill fools love story you Chapter six of mr. Gill fools love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter 6 the next morning when Katarina was waked from her heavy sleep by Martha bringing in the warm water the Sun was shining the wind had abated and those hours of suffering in the night seemed unreal and dreamlike in spite of weary limbs and aching eyes she got up and began to dress with a strange feeling of insensibility as if nothing could make her cry again and she even felt a sort of longing to be downstairs in the midst of company that she might get rid of this benumbed condition by contact there are few of us that are not rather ashamed of our sins and follies as we look out on the blessed morning sunlight which comes to us like a bright winged angel beckoning us to quit the old path of vanity that stretches its dreary length behind us and tina little as she knew about doctrines and theories seemed to herself to have been both foolish and wicked yesterday today she would try to be good and when she knelt down to say her short prayer the very form she had learned by heart when she was 10 years old she added Oh God helped me to bear it that day the prayer seemed to be answered for after some remarks on her pale looks at breakfast Katarina passed the morning quietly miss aster and captain wiper how being out on a riding excursion in the evening there was a dinner party and after Katerina had sung a little lady several remembering that she was ailing sent her to bed where she soon sank into a deep sleep body and mind must renew their force to suffer as well as to enjoy on the morrow however it was rainy and everyone must stay indoors so it was resolved that the guests should be taken over the house by Sir Christopher to hear the story of the architectural alterations the family portraits and the family relics all the party except mr. Gil faux were in the drawing-room when the proposition was made and when Miss sure rose to go she looked towards captain Brou expecting to see him rise too but he kept his seat near the fire turning his eyes towards the newspaper which he had been holding unread in his hand are you not coming Anthony said lady several noticing miss askers look of expectation I think not if you'll excuse me he answered rising and opening the door I feel a little chilled this morning and I am afraid of the cold rooms and drafts Monsieur reddened but said nothing and passed on lady several accompanying her Katerina was seated at work in the Oriole window it was the first time she and Anthony had been alone together and she had thought before that he wished to avoid her but now surely he wanted to speak to her he wanted to say something kind presently he rose from his seat near the fire and placed himself on the Ottoman opposite to her well Tina and how have you been all this long time both the tone and the words were an offense to her the tone was so different from the old one the words were so cold and unmeaning she answered with a little bitterness I think you needn't ask it doesn't make much difference to you he is that the kindest thing you have to say to me after my long absence I don't know why you should expect me to say kind things captain why Bravo was silent he wished very much to avoid allusions to the past or comments on the present and yet he wished to be well with Katerina he would have liked to caress her make her presence and have her think him very kind to her but these women are plaguey perverse there's no bringing them to look rationally at anything at last he said I hoped you would think all the better of me Tina for doing as I have done instead of bearing malice towards me I hoped you would see that it is the best thing for everyone the best for your happiness too Oh pray don't make love to miss Astor for the sake of my happiness answered Tina at this moment the door opened and missus sure entered to fetch her reticule which lay on the harpsichord she gave a keen glance at Catarina whose face was flushed and saying – captain why bruh with a slight sneer since you are so chill I wonder you like to sit in the window left the rim again immediately the lover did not appear much discomposed but sat quiet a little longer and then seating himself on the music stool drew it near to Catarina and taking her hand said come Tina looked kindly at me and let us be friends I shall always be your friend thank you said Catarina drawing away her hand you are very generous but pray move away miss Asher may come in again miss a seer be hang'd said Anthony feeling with fascination of old habit returning on him in his proximity to Catarina he put his arm round her waist and leaned his cheek down to hers the lips couldn't help meeting after that but the next moment with heart swelling and tears rising Catarina burst away from him and rushed out of the room – six of mr. Gill fools love story Chapter seven of mr. Gill Phil's love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter seven Catarina tore herself from Anthony with the desperate effort of one who has just self recollection enough to be conscious that the fumes of charcoal will master his senses unless he bursts away for himself to the fresh air but when she reached her own room she was still too intoxicated with that momentary revival of old emotions too much agitated by the sudden return of tenderness in her lover to know whether pain or pleasure predominated It was as if a miracle had happened in her little world of feeling and made the future all vague a dim morning haze of possibilities instead of the sombre wintry day light and clear rigid outline of painful certainty she felt the need of rapid movement she must walk out in spite of the rain happily there was a thin place in the curtain of clouds which seemed to promise that now about noon the day had a mind to clear up Catarina thought to herself I will walk to the moss lands and carry mr. beats the comforter I have made for him and then lead each Avril will not wonder so much as my going out at the ball door she found Rupert the old bloodhound stationed on the mat with the determination that the first person who was sensible enough to take a walk that morning should have the honor of his approbation and society as he thrust his great black and tawny head under her hand and wagged his tail with vigorous eloquence and reached the climax of his welcome by jumping up to lick her face which was at a convenient licking height for him Katharina felt quite grateful to the old dog for his friendliness animals are such agreeable friends they asked no questions they passed no criticisms the moss lands was a remote part of the grounds and circled by the little stream issuing from the pool and certainly for a wet day Katarina could hardly have chosen a less suitable walk for though the rain was abating and presently ceased altogether there was still a smart shower falling from the trees which arched over the greater part of her way but she found just the desired relief from her feverish excitement in laboring along the wet paths with an umbrella that made her arm ache this amount of exertion was to her tiny body what a day's hunting often was to mr. Gil foe who at times had his fits of jealousy and sadness to get rid of and wisely had recourse to nature's innocent opium fatigue when Katarina reached the pretty arched wooden bridge which formed the only entrance to the mosque lands for any but webbed feet the Sun had mastered the clouds and was shining through the boughs of the tall Elms that made a deep nest for the gardener's cottage turning the raindrops into diamonds and inviting the nasturtium flowers creeping over the porch and low thatched roof to lift up their flame-coloured heads once more the rooks were calling with many voiced monotony apparently by a remarkable approximation to human intelligence finding great conversational resources in the change of weather the mossy turf studded with the broad blades of Marsh loving plants told that mr. Bates's nest was rather damp in the best of weather but he was of opinion that a little external moisture would hurt no man who was not perversely neglectful of that obvious and providential antidote rum and water Katarina loved this nest every object in it every sound that haunted it had been familiar to her from the days when she had been carried thither on mr. Bates's arm making little calling noises to imitate to the rooks clapping her hands at the green frog sleeping in the moist grass and fixing grave eyes on the gardeners fouls cluck clucking under their pens and now the spot looked prettier to her than ever it was so out of the way of miss aster with her brilliant beauty and personal claims and small civil remarks she thought mr. Bates would not become into his dinner yet so she would sit down and wait for him but she was mistaken mr. Bates was seated in his armchair with his pocket handkerchief thrown over his face as the most eligible mode of passing away those superfluous hours between meals when the weather drives a man indoors roused by the furious barking of his chained bulldog he described his little favorite approaching and forthwith presented himself at the doorway looking disproportionately tall compared with the height of his cottage the Bulldog meanwhile unbent from the severity of his official demeanor and commenced a friendly interchange of ideas with Rupert mr. Bates's hair was now gray but his frame was nonetheless stalwart and his face looked all the redder making an artistic contrast with the deep blue of his cotton neckerchief and of his linen apron twisted into a girdle round his waist why dang my Bouton's miss tini he exclaimed who come you takumu to dabble in your fate like a little Muscovy duck such a day as this not but what I am delighted to say here Hester he called to his old humpbacked housekeeper Tech the young lady's umbrella and spread it out to dry come come in Miss tini as said she doin by the fire and dray your fate and have somewhat warm to keep you from catching cold mr. Bates led the way stooping under the door places into his small sitting-room and shaking the patchwork cushion in his armchair moved it to within a good roasting distance of the blazing fire Thank You uncle Bates Katerina kept up her childish epithets for her friends and this was one of them not quite so close to the fire for I am warm with walking yeah but your shoes are fain and wet and you must put up your feet on the fender rare big fete paint him aboot the size of a good big spoon I wonder you can make a shift to stand on him now what did he have to warm your inside I drop a hot elder Wayne now no not anything to drink thank you it isn't very long since breakfast said Katerina drawing up the comforter from her deep pocket pockets were capacious in those days look here uncle Bates here is what I came to bring you I made it on purpose for you you must wear it this winter and to give your red one to old Brooks hey miss teeny this is a beauty and he made it all with your little fingers for an old feller Lake may I take it very caned on ye and I believe you I'll wear it and be prude on it too these three blue and wait now they make it uncommon pretty yes that will suit your complexion you know better than the old scarlet one I know mrs. sharp will be more in love with you than ever when she sees you in the new one my complexion ye little rogue you're laughing at me but talking a complexions what a beautiful color the bride has is to be has on her cheeks dang my Bouton's she looks feign and handsome a Hospit sits his up rate as a dart with a figure like a statue mr. sharp has promised to put me behind one of the doors when the ladies are cumin doon to dinner so as I may say the young and a full dress who all her curls in that mr. sharp says she's almost beautiful urn or my lady was when she was young and I think you'll new to theme man and the country hasn't come up to that yes massager is very handsome said Katerina rather faintly feeling the sense of her own insignificance returning at this picture of the Impressionist asked sure made on others well and I hope she's good too and I'll make a good nice – Sir Christopher and milady mistress Griffin the maid says as she's rather tachi and fine felting aboot her clothes lake but she's young she's young after we're off when she's got a husband and children and someone else to think hon so Christopher's vain and elated I can see he says to me the other morning says he well Bates what do you think of your young mistress as is to be and I says wait your honor I think she's as vain alas as ever I said eyes on and I wish the captain luck in a fain family and your honoured life and health to see it mr. Warren says as the Masters all for for adding the wedding and it'll very Lake be a for though autumn suit as mr. Bates ran on Katharina felt something like a painful contraction at her heart yes she said rising I dare say it will sir Christopher is very anxious for it but I must go uncle Bates lady chevre will be wanting me and it is your dinnertime nay my dinner do in cinah fie a bit but I'm loosen kPa if my lady wants you though I haven't thanked she hath enough for the comforter the rascal as they call it my effect as it's a beauty but ye look very wait and sadly misty knee I doubt year portly and this walkin in the wet isn't good for ye oh yes it is indeed said Katharina hastening out and taking up her umbrella from the kitchen floor I must really go now so goodbye she tripped off calling Rupert while the good gardener his hands thrust deep in his pockets stood looking after her and shaking his head with rather a melancholy air she gives more nation' delicate than ever he said half to himself and half to Hester I shouldn't wonder if she fades away Lake them SiC lemons as I transplanted she puts me a mind on them somehow hanging on their little thin stalks so wait and tinder the poor little thing made her way back no longer hunger in for the cold moist air as a counteractive of inward excitement but with a chill at her heart which made the outward she'll only depressing the golden sunlight beamed through the dripping boughs like a Shekinah or visible divine presence and the birds were chirping and trilling their new autumnal song so sweetly it seemed as if their throats as well as the air were all the clearer for the rain but Katarina moved through all this joy and beauty like a poor wounded Leverett painfully dragging its little body through the sweet clover Tufts for it sweet in vain mr. Bates's words about Sir Christopher's joy miss asters beauty and the nearness of the wedding had come upon her like the pressure of a cold hand rousing her from confused dozing to a perception of hard familiar realities it is so with emotional nature's whose thoughts are no more than the fleeting shadows cast by feeling to them words are facts and even when known to be false have a mastery over their smiles and tears Katarina entered her own room again with no other change from her former state of despondency and wretchedness than an additional sense of injury from Anthony his behavior towards her in the morning was a new wrong to snatch a caress when she just Lee claimed an expression of penitence of regret of sympathy was to make more light of her than ever end of chapter 7 of mr. Gill Phil's love story chapter 8 of mr. Gill Phil's love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter 8 that evening miss Astor seemed to carry herself with unusual haughtiness and was coldly observant of Katerina there was unmistakably Thunder in the air captain why brow appeared to take the matter very easily and was inclined to brave it out by paying more than ordinary attention to Katerina mr. Gill fell had induced her to play a game at drafts with him lady Oscar being seated at pique with Sir Christopher and miss Astor in determined conversation with Lady several Anthony thus left as an odd unit sauntered up to Katarina's chair and leaned behind her watching the game Tina with all the remembrances of the morning thick upon her felt her cheeks becoming more and more crimson and at last said impatiently I wish she would go away this happened directly under the view of Miss Esther who saw Catarina's reddening cheeks saw that she said something impatiently and that captain why brow moved away in consequence there was another person to who had noticed this incident with strong interest and who was moreover aware that Miss Ashur not only saw but keenly observed what was passing that other person was mr. Gill fell and he drew some painful conclusions which heightened his anxiety for Katerina the next morning in spite of the fine weather massager declined riding and lady several perceiving that there was something wrong between the lovers took care that there should be left together in the drawing-room massager seated on the sofa near the fire was busy with some fancy work in which she seemed bent on making great progress this morning captain Webber house at opposite with a newspaper in his hand from which he obligingly read extracts with an elaborately easy air willfully unconscious of the contemptuous silence with which she pursued her filigree work at length he put down the paper which he could no longer pretend not to have exhausted and Monsieur then said you seem to be on very intimate terms with mrs. RT with Tina oh yes she has always been the pet of the house you know we have been quite brother and sister together sisters don't generally color so very deeply when their brother's approached them does she color I never noticed it but she's a timid little thing it would be much better if you would not be so hypocritical captain why brow I am confident there has been some flirtation between you miss Sarty in her position would never speak to you with the petulance she did last night if you had not given her some kind of claim on you my dear beatrice now do be reasonable do ask yourself what Grilli probability there is that i should think of flirting with poor little Tina is there anything about her to attract that sort of attention she is more child than woman one thinks of her as a little girl to be petted and played with prey what were you playing at with her yesterday morning when I came in unexpectedly and her cheeks were flushed and her hands trembling yesterday morning oh I remember you know I always teased her about GILF oh who is overhead in two years in love with her and she is angry at that perhaps because she likes him they were old playfellows years before I came here and Sir Christopher has set his heart on their marrying captain why bruh you are very false it had nothing to do with mr. Gill fool that she colored last night when you leaned over her chair you might just as well be candid if your own mind is not made up pray do no violence to yourself I am quite ready to give way to missus artis superior attractions understand that so far as I am concerned you are perfectly at liberty I decline any share in the affection of a man who forfeits my respect by duplicity in saying this massage arose and was sweeping haughtily out of the room when captain why brow placed himself before her and took her hand dear dear Beatrice be patient do not judge me so rashly sit down again sweet he added in a pleading voice pressing both her hands between his and leading her back to the sofa where he sat down beside her possessor was not unwilling to be led back or to listen but she retained her cold and haughty expression can you not trust me Beatrice can you not believe me although there may be things I am unable to explain why should there be anything you are unable to explain an honorable man will not be placed in circumstances which she cannot explain to the woman he seeks to make his wife he will not ask her to believe that he acts properly he will let her know that he does so let me go sir she attempted to rise but he passed his hand round her waist and detained her now Beatrice dear he said imploringly can you not understand that there are things a man doesn't like to talk about secrets that he must keep for the sake of others and not for his own sake everything that relates to myself you may ask me but do not ask me to tell other people's secrets don't you understand me oh yes said mrs. Astor scornfully I understand whenever you make love to a woman that is her secret which you are bound to keep for her but to just follow to be talking in this way captain why brow it is very plain that there is some relation more than friendship between you and mrs. Aarti since you cannot explain that relation there is no more to be said between us confound it Beatriz you'll drive me mad can a fellow help a girl's falling in love with him such things are always happening but men don't talk of them these fancies will spring up without the slightest foundation especially when a woman sees few people they die out again when there is no encouragement if you could like me you ought not to be surprised that other people can you ought to think the better of them for it you mean to say then that mrs. Aarti is in love with you without your ever having made love to her do not press me to say such things dearest it is enough that you know I love you that I am devoted to you you naughty Queen you you know there is no chance for anyone else where you are you are only tormenting me to prove your power over me but don't be too cruel for you know they say I have another heart disease besides love and these things bring on terrible palpitations but I must have an answer to this one question said miss a seer a little softened has there been or is there any love on your side towards Miss Aarti I have nothing to do with her feelings but I have a right to know yours I like Tina very much who would not like such a little simple thing you would not wish me not to like her but love that is a very different affair one has a brotherly affection for such a woman as Tina but it is another sort of woman that one loves these last words were made doubly significant by a look of tenderness and a kiss imprinted on the hand captain why brow held in his massager was conquered it was so far from probable that Anthony should love that pale insignificant little thing so highly probable that he should adore the beautiful miss ass sure on the whole it was rather gratifying that other women should be languishing for her handsome lover he really was an exquisite creature poorness Sarty well she would get over it captain why brow saw his advantage come sweet love he continued that has talked no more about unpleasant things you will keep Tina's secret and be very kind to her won't you for my sake but you will ride out now see what a glorious day it is for riding let me order the horses I'm terribly in want of the air come give me one forgiving kiss and say you will go this asks your complied with the double request and then went to equip herself for the ride while her lover walked to the stables end of chapter 8 of mr. Gill Phil's love story chapter 9 of mr. Gill Phil's love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter 9 meanwhile mr. Gill fell who had a heavy weight on his mind had watched for the moment when the two elder ladies having driven out Catarina would probably be alone in ladies several sitting-room he went up and not at the door come in said the sweet mellow voice always thrilling to him as the sound of rippling water to the thirsty he entered and found Katerina standing in some confusion as if she had been startled from a reverie she felt relieved when she saw it was Maynard but the next moment felt a little pettish that he should have come to interrupt and frighten her oh it is you Maynard do you want lead several no Katerina he answered gravely I want you I have something very particular to say to you will you let me sit down with you for half an hour yes dear old preacher said Katerina sitting down with an air of weariness what is it mr. Gill Phil placed himself opposite to her and said I hope you will not be hurt Katerina by what I am going to say to you I do not speak from any other feelings than real affection and anxiety for you I put everything else out of the question you know you are more to me than all the world but I will not thrust before you a feeling which you are unable to return I speak to you as a brother the old Maynard that used to scold you for getting your fishing line tangled ten years ago you will not believe that I have any mean selfish motive in mentioning things that are painful to you no I know you are very good said Katerina abstractedly from what I saw yesterday evening mr. Gill Phil went on hesitating and colouring slightly I am led to fear pray forgive me if I am wrong Katerina that you that captain why brow is based enough still to trifle with your feelings that he still allows himself to behave to you as no man ought who is the the cleared lover of another woman what do you mean maynard said Katerina with anger flashing from her eyes do you mean that I let him make love to me what right have you to think that of me what do you mean that you saw yesterday evening do not be angry Katerina I don't suspect you of doing wrong I only suspect that heartless puppy of behaving so as to keep awake feelings in you that not only destroy your own peace of mind but may lead to very bad consequences with regard to others I want to warn you that miss aster has her eyes open on what passes between you and captain why brow and I feel sure she is getting jealous of you pray be very careful Katerina and try to behave with politeness and indifference to him you must see by this time that he is not worth the feeling you have given him he's more disturbed at his pulse beating one too many in a minute then at all the misery he has caused you by his foolish trifling you ought not to speak so of him maynard said Katerina passionately he is not what you think he did care for me he did love me only he wanted to do what his uncle wished Oh to be sure I know it is only from the most virtuous motives that he does what is convenient to himself mr. Gill fell paused he felt that he was getting irritated and defeating his own object presently he continued in a calm and affectionate tone I will say no more about what I think of him Katerina but whether he loved you or not his position now with Monsieur is such that any love you may cherish for him can bring nothing but misery God knows I don't expect you to leave off loving him at a moment's notice time and absence and trying to do what is right are the only cures if it were not that Sir Christopher and Lady Cheryl would be displeased and puzzled that your wishing to leave home just now I would beg you to pay a visit to my sister she and her husband are good creatures and would make their house a home to you but I could not urge the thing just now without giving a special reason and what is most of all to be dreaded is the raising of any suspicion in so Christopher z' mind of what has happened in the past war of your present feelings you think so too don't you Tina mr. Gill fell paused again but Caterina said nothing she was looking away from him out of the window and her eyes were filling with tears he rose and advancing a little towards her held out his hand and said forgive me Catarina for intruding on your feelings in this way I was so afraid you might not be aware of how miss Asher watched you remember I entreat you that the Peace of the whole family depends on your power of governing yourself only say you forgive me before I go dear good Maynard she said stretching out her little hand and taking two of his large fingers in her grasp while her tears flowed fast I am very cross to you but my heart is breaking I don't know what to do goodbye he stooped down kissed the little hand and then left the room that curseth scoundrel he muttered between his teeth as he closed the door behind him if after enough Ursa Christopher I should like to pound him into paste to poison puppy's like himself end of chapter 9 of mr. Gill Phil's love story chapter 10 of mr. Gill Phil's love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter 10 that evening captain wine Browne returning from a long ride with Musashi went up to his dressing room and seated himself with an air of considerable lassitude before his mirror the reflection there presented of his exquisite self was certainly paler and more worn than usual and might excuse the anxiety with which he first felt his pulse and then laid his hand on his heart it's that devil of a position this for a man to be in was the train of his thought as he kept his eyes fixed on the glass while he leaned back in his chair and crossed his hands behind his head between two jealous women and both of them as ready to take fire as tinder and in my state of health too should be glad enough to run away from the whole affair and go off to some Lotus eating place or other where there are no women or only women who are too sleepy to be jealous here am i doing nothing to please myself trying to do the best thing for everybody else and all the comfort I get is to have fire shot at me from woman's eyes and Venom's berta – me from women's tongues his Beatrice takes another jealous fit into her head and it's likely enough Tina is so unmanageable I don't know what storm she may raise and any hitch in this marriage especially of that sort might be a fatal business for the old gentleman I wouldn't have such a blow fall upon him for a great deal besides a man must be married some time in his life and I could hardly do better than marry Beatrice she's a nun commonly fine woman and I'm really very fond of her and as I shall let her have her own way her temper doesn't signify much I wish the wedding was over and done with for this fuss doesn't suit me at all I haven't been half so well lately that scene about Tina this morning quite upset me poor little Tina what a little simpleton it was to set her heart on me and that way but she ought to see how impossible it is that things should be different if she would but understand how kindly I feel towards her and make up her mind to look on me as a friend but that is what one never can get a woman to do Beatrice is very good-natured I'm sure she would be kind to the little thing it would be a great comfort if Tina would take to Gilfoyle if it were only in anger against me he'd make her a capital husband and I should like to see the little grasshopper happy if I had been in a different position I would certainly have married her myself but that was out of the question with my responsibilities to Sir Christopher I think a little persuasion from my uncle would bring her to accept GILF oh I know she would never be able to oppose my uncle's wishes and if they were once married she's such a loving little thing she would soon be billing and cooing with him as if she had never known me it would certainly be the best thing for her happiness of that marriage were hastened hey how those are lucky fellows that have no women falling in love with them it's a confounded responsibility at this point in his meditations he turned his head a little so as to get a three-quarter view of his face clearly it was the dono in falesha della bellezza that laid these onerous duties upon him an idea which naturally suggested that he should ring for his valet for the next few days however there was such a cessation of threatening symptoms as to allay the anxiety both of captain y brow and mr. Gill fill all earthly things have their law even on nights when the most unappeasable wind is raging there will be a moment of stillness before it crashes among the boughs again and storms against the wind and Howl's like a thousand lost demons through the keyholes monsieur appeared to be in the highest good humor captain why bruh how was more assiduous than usual and was very circumspect in his behavior to Katerina on whom Monsieur bestowed unwanted attentions the weather was brilliant there were riding excursions in the mornings and dinner parties in the evenings consultations in the library between Sir Christopher and Lady Astor seemed to be leading to a satisfactory result and it was understood that this visit at several Manor would terminate in another fortnight when the preparations for the wedding would be carried forward with all dispatch at Farley the baronet seemed everyday more radiant accustomed to view people who entered into his plans by the pleasant light which his own strong will and bright hopefulness were always casting on the future he saw nothing but personal charms and promising domestic qualities in miss Astor whose quickness of eye and taste in externals formed a real ground of sympathy between her and sakra Stoffer Lady Charles enthusiasm never rose above the temperate mark of calm satisfaction and having quite her share of the critical acumen which characterizes the mutual estimates of the fair sex she had a more moderate opinion of massagers qualities she suspected that the fair Beatrice had a sharp and imperious temper and being herself on principle and by habitual self-command the most deferential of wives she noticed with disapproval miss asters occasional air of authority towards captain why brow a proud woman who has learned to submit carries all her pride to the reinforcement of her submission and looks down with severe superiority on all feminine assumption as unbecoming lady Charl however confined her criticisms to the privacy of her own thoughts and with a reticence which I fear may seem incredible did not use them as a means of disturbing her husband's complacency and Katerina how did she pass these sunny autumn days in which the skies seemed to be smiling on the family gladness to her the change in mrs. shears manner was unaccountable those compassionate attentions those smiling condescension –zz were torture to Katarina who was constantly tempted to repulse them with anger she thought perhaps Anthony has told her to be kind to poor Tina this was an insult he ought to have known that the mere presence of mrs. Shearer was painful to her that mrs. shears smiles scorched her that massagers kind words were like poison stings in flaming her to madness and he Anthony he was evidently repenting of the tenderness he had been betrayed into that morning in the drawing-room he was cold and distant and civil to her to ward off beatriz's suspicions and Beatrice could be so gracious now because she was sure of Anthony's entire devotion well and so it ought to be and she ought not to wish it otherwise and yet how he was cruel to her she could never have behaved so to him to make her love him so to speak such tender words to give her such caresses and then to behave as if such things had never been he had given her the poison that seemed so sweet while she was drinking it and now it was in her blood and she was helpless with this tempest pent up in her bosom the poor child went up to her room every night and there it all burst forth there with loud whispers and sobs restlessly pacing up and down lying on the hard floor courting cold and weariness she told to the pitiful listening night the anguish which she could pour into no mortal year but always sleep came at last and always in the morning the reactive calm that enabled her to live through the day it is amazing how long a young frame will go on battling with this sort of secret wretchedness and yet show no traces of the conflict for any but sympathetic eyes the very delicacy of Catarina's usual appearance her natural paleness and habitually quiet most liked ways made any symptoms of fatigue and suffering less noticeable and her singing the one thing in which she ceased to be passive and became prominent lost none of its energy she herself sometimes wondered how it was that whether she felt sad or angry crushed with the sense of Anthony's indifference or burning with impatience under massagers attentions it was always a relief to her to sing those full deep notes she sent forth seemed to be lifting the pain from her heart seemed to be carrying away the madness from her brain the lady several noticed no change in Catarina and it was only mr. Gil fel who discerned with anxiety the feverish spot that sometimes rose on her cheek the deepening violet tint under her eyes and the strange absent glance the unhealthy glitter of the beautiful eyes themselves but those agitated nights were producing a more fatal effect than was represented by these slight outward changes end of chapter 10 of mr. Gill Phil's love story chapter 11 of mr. Gill fools love story from scenes of clerical life by George Eliot this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by bruce pirie chapter 11 the following Sunday the morning being rainy it was determined that the family should not go to Cumbre more church as usual but that mr. Gill fell who had only an afternoon service at his curacy should conduct the morning service in the chapel just before the appointed hour of eleven Katerina came down into the drawing-room looking so unusually ill as to call forth an anxious inquiry from Lady several who on learning that she had a severe headache insisted that she should not attend service and at once packed her up comfortably on a sofa near the fire putting a volume of Tillotson sermons into her hands as appropriate reading if Katerina should feel equal to that means of edification excellent medicine for the mind are the good Archbishop's sermons but a medicine unhappily not suited to Tina's case she sat with the book open on her knees her dark eyes fixed vacantly on the portrait of that handsome lady several wife of the notable Sir Anthony she gazed at the picture without thinking of it and the fair blonde Dame seemed to look down on her with that benignant unconcerned that mild wonder with which happy self possessed women are apt to look down on their agitated and weaker sisters Katerina was thinking of the near future of the wedding that was so soon to come of all she would have to live through in the next month's I wish I could be very ill and die before then she thought when people get very ill they don't mind about things poor petit Richards looked so happy when she was in a decline she didn't seem to care any more about her lover that she was engaged to be married to and she liked the smell of the flowers so that I used to take her oh if I could but like anything if I could but think but anything else if these dreadful feelings would go away I wouldn't mind about not being happy I wouldn't want anything and I could do what would please Sir Christopher and lady Chevron but when that rage and anger comes into me I don't know what to do I don't feel the ground under me I only feel my head and heart beating and it seems as if I must do something dreadful oh I wonder if anyone ever felt like me before I must be very wicked but God will have pity on me he knows all I have to bear in this way the time wore on till Tina heard the sound of voices along the passage and became conscious that the volume of Tillotson had slipped on the floor she had only just picked it up and seen with alarm that the pages were bent when ladyasher Beatrice and Captain Y brow entered all with that brisk and cheerful air which a sermon is often observed to produce when it is quite finished lady astor at once came and seated herself by katarina her ladyship had been considerably refreshed by a doze and was in great force for monologue well my dear Miss Sarty and how do you feel now a little better I see I thought you would be sitting quietly here these headaches now are all from weakness you must not overexert yourself and you must take bitters I used to have just the same sort of headaches when I was your age and old dr. Samson used to say to my mother madam what your daughter suffers from his weakness he was such a curious old man was dr. Samson but I wish you could have heard the sermon this morning such an excellent sermon it was about to the ten virgins five of them were foolish and five were clever you know and mr. Gil Phil explained all that while a very pleasant young man he is so very quiet and agreeable and such a good hand a twist I wish we had him at Farley Sir John would have liked him beyond anything he is so good tempered at cards and he was such a man for cards was Sir John and our rector is a very irritable man he can't bear to lose his money at cards I don't think a clergyman ought to mind about losing his money do you do you now Oh pray that yes sir interposed to Beatrice in her usual tone a superiority do not weary poor Catarina with such uninteresting questions your head seems very bad still dear she continued in a condolence own to Katerina do take my vinaigrette and keep it in your pocket it will perhaps refresh you now and then No thank you answered Katerina I will not take it away from you indeed dear I never used it you must take it Monsieur persisted holding it too close to Tina's hand Tina coloured deeply pushed the vinaigrette away with some impatience and said thank you I never used those things I don't like vinaigrettes Monsieur returned the vinaigrette to her pocket in surprised and haughty silence and kept in why brow who had looked on in some alarm said hastily see it is quite bright out of doors now first time for a walk before luncheon come Beatrice put on your hat and cloak and let us have half an hour's walk on the gravel yes do my dear said Lady Astor and I will go and see if Sir Christopher is having his walk in the gallery as soon as the door had closed behind the two ladies captain why brow standing with his back to the fire turned towards catarina and said in a tone of earnest remonstrance my dear Caterina let me beg of you to exercise more control over your feelings you are really rude to miss us sure and I can see that she is quite hurt consider how strange your behavior must appear to her she will wonder what can be the cause of it come dear Tina he added approaching her and attempting to take her hand for your own sake let me entreat you to receive her attentions politely she really feels very kindly towards you and I should be so happy to see you friends Catarina was already in such a state of diseased susceptibility that the most innocent words from captain y brow would have been irritating to her as the whir of the most delicate wing will afflict a nervous patient but this tone of benevolent remonstrance was intolerable he had inflicted a great and unrepented injury on her and now he assumed an air of benevolence towards her this was a new outrage his profession of goodwill was insolence Catarina snatched away her hand and said indignantly leave me to myself captain why brow I do not disturb you Catarina why will you be so violent so unjust to me it is for you that I feel anxious miss a sir has already noticed how strange your behavior is both to her and me and it puts me into a very difficult position what can I say to her say Catarina burst forth with intense bitterness rising and moving towards the door say that I am a poor silly girl and have fallen in love with you and am jealous of her but that you have never had any feeling but pity for me you have never behaved with anything more than friendliness to me tell her that and she will think all the better of you Tina uttered this as the bitterest sarcasm her ideas would furnish her with not having the faintest suspicion that the sarcasm derived any of its bitterness from truth underneath all her sense of wrong which was rather instinctive than reflective underneath all the madness of her jealousy and her uncover noble impulses of resentment and vindictiveness underneath all this scorching passion there were still left some hidden crystal dues of trust of self reproof of belief that Anthony was trying to do the right love had not all gone to feed the fires of hatred Tina still trusted that Anthony felt more for her than he seemed to feel she was still far from suspecting him of a wrong which a woman resents even more than inconstancy and she threw out this taunt simply as the most intense expression she could find for the anger of the moment as she stood nearly in the middle of the room her little body trembling under the shock of passions too strong for it her very lips pale and her eyes gleaming the door opened and miss a seer appeared tall blooming and splendid in her walking costume as she entered her face wore the smile appropriate to the exits and entrances of a young lady who feels that her presence is an interesting fact but the next moment she looked at Catarina with grave surprise and then threw a glance of angry suspicion that kept in why brow who wore an air of weariness and vexation perhaps you are too much engaged to walk out captain why brow I will go alone no no I am coming he answered hurrying towards her and leading her out of the room leaving poor Catarina to feel all the reaction of shame and self-reproach after her outburst of passion end of chapter 11 of mr. Gill Phil's love story

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