What’s up Greg I hope you’re all having a great day… Welcome back to another episode of… Cool moms This is a show called “Cool moms”™. Where we review moms… And talk about how cool they are. Specifically moms on Tik Tok. Specifically one mom on Tik Tok. This mom on Tik Tok. Seems like a lot of people are talking about Tik Tok these days… It sort of made this like huge resurgence in the popular culture from what I can tell.. and I haven’t talked about Tik Tok in a while. In fact, I haven’t talked about Tik Tok since it was Musical.ly. The last time I talked about Musical.ly… I feel like it was just this app full of cringey… like, 14 year-olds lip-syncing popular songs… but these days I feel like Tik Tok has gotten a lot better. I feel like it doesn’t get enough credit… there’s some legitimately funny stuff on Tik Tok. A lot of it is still very hard to find… because there is still all of that stuff from before… It’s just, now, there’s some funny stuff on there, too… so the funny stuff is sort of diluted… by all the weird stuff there’s also this thing where Tik Tok will just steal audio from, like, popular vines or popular youtube videos and put it on tik tok without crediting the person who made it and then people will just lip-sync…the audio.. from the video but recently a clip from one of my videos about troom troom became like “trending” on tik tok and everyone was just lip syncing a line from one of my troom troom videos “Hot glue a little cactus into an empty lipstick container.” This is a good example of one. Quick disclaimer as I’ve done before I’m gonna be covering all of the songs that are in these videos. since they’re tik-toks Obviously every single one has to have a popular song in it. So I’m going to have to do a cover of it, so I don’t get copyright claimed. Oh damn. Damn, don’t you hate it when that happens. Don’t you hate it when you’re about to shoot somebody and they were about to shoot you and then you both decide “Ah, Let’s not shoot each other. We got better things to do” And then just as you think you’re about to get away clean He dips you Like he’s about to kiss you and then shoots you in the chest five times. Damn. If I had a dollar for every time that happened to me, I’d have eight dollars. Or this one where this girl bends down to pick something up while she’s talking to her boyfriend I guess and then some other girl comes up and tries to give him her number and he’s like no I don’t want your number and then the girl gets up and they’re so happy together because they’re still dating. Totally relatable. This dude also made the exact same video Except a different girl comes up to him and it’s like an 11 year old. So that’s kind of weird. but while I was scrolling these deep, emotional tik toks I found one that really caught my eyes. It’s by a girl named “varlicious”, And the caption is “there’s no peace in drugs #saynotodrugs #choosetorefuse #nodrugskids.” So the caption is “there’s NO peace in drugs”, which I guess is a pretty good message. You know, don’t do drugs. Don’t abuse drugs That’s fine. I guess I’m just not really sure what she’s trying to act out here? like, what’s going on? She pulls up in the parking lot of this strip mall in her Mercedes. So right off the bat: big flex, and she’s like, “Okay. now that I’m alone in this parking lot It’s time for me to do every single drug ever.” But then she’s like putting every drug up to her mouth and she’s like “No I can’t do it.” Bottle of alcohol? “Can’t do it.” Cigarette? “Can’t do it.” A bunch of vitamin supplements? “Can’t do it.” I think that’s what the point is supposed to be is she’s like Realizing how bad all these drugs are for her like as she’s about to put them up to her mouth but what it looks like to me is that she just can’t figure out how to do these drugs like she Can’t figure out how to open the bottle so she’s like, oh, damn it, now I gotta find other drugs to do She’s holding up the cigarette to her mouth But there’s no smoke coming out because she hasn’t lit the cigarette and she’s like how the fuck does this thing work? She can’t figure it out. So she just has to Drive away. Actually, I’d like to imagine that she’s like a high schooler on her way to the biggest party of the year But all her friends told her that there’s gonna be drugs at this party and she wants to seem cool at the party but she’s never done any drugs before so on the way to the party she decides to stop in this parking lot and Practice doing drugs, but she just can’t figure it out. She can’t figure out how to do any drugs. I guess That’s the moral of the whole Tik Tok. Don’t do drugs. There is no peace in drugs. They’re too confusing. You won’t be able to figure it out and it’ll just make you more mad. Drugs will not solve your problems They’ll only present more problems. Like how do you open a bottle? How do you light a cigarette? How do you put a pill in your mouth? So when I saw this Tik Tok I was like hold up Who is this? Who is this lady? It just seems like this person has no grasp on Like reality or how people do drugs, like just driving to a parking lot with every drug to do every drug It just seemed like a weird concept. I had to figure out who this woman was So I went to her profile. I scoured it and I realized that Varley is basically the ultimate mom of Tik Tok She’s got all sorts of essential mom Tik Toks. Anything that you would expect a mom to be doing on Tik Tok, she does She’s got her daughter in her Tik Toks, as you can see here. They’re just sort of staring at the camera together and smiling She’s got inspirational tic TOCs like this one. Together we rise, people like us we gotta stick together. That’s the whole thing. That’s the whole Tik Tok. it’s just her staring at the mirror and then her looking at the camera. And then she’s got Tik Toks like this one, which Mmmmmm, I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be. That one’s not really like a mom Tik Tok. That’s just sort of Disturbing. She’s also got this video where she I guess shoots her daughter And then laughs maniacally about it so that’s a weird video to make. A video where you shoot your own daughter in the back and then laugh about it. Kind of Weird, but she’s also a big health guru. She’s a huge fitness nut As you can tell by this video called started my fitness journey in 2017. *sings* “Make me a you make me a believer, believer” She started her fitness journey in 2017 And she’s been getting punched in the stomach ever Since. Is it just me or does it seem like the dude is the one working out in this video? I mean, I guess she’s probably flexing her abs and that’s like what the workout is, but she’s just standing there You know while this dude is over here turning red like totally out of breath Just punching her over and over and Varley is just standing there Just flexing. hashtag getting stronger. Hashtag strong woman. Hashtag boxing man I don’t want to break it to you Varley But I don’t think I don’t think that this is what boxing is if this is how you box. I mean I Guess it’s actually very impressive Imagine stepping in the ring with this woman and the bell rings and you start you start throwing your punches and she just stands there And takes them her whole body is just tensed up and she’s just smiling at you You’re going all out and she hasn’t like moved an inch hahahaha you fool, you think you can defeat me? I started my fitness journey in 2017! When you love someone You open up your heart when you love Try to love the world, you’ll feel good. I mean it’s a good message I’ll give her that kind of a weird video just her dancing around in the snow I guess she’s showing that she loves the world even though it’s cold out. She’s like woooh i love snow And not to be that guy… But like if you’re gonna say love the world like love the whole world and then show yourself just loving snow That’s not very impressive because snow is pretty easy to love. It’s fun to play in. It’s fun to sled on snow There’s lots of good things about snow I would be impressed if she was doing this in like lava or something or like shark-infested waters or a giant landfill She’s just like throwing trash up in the air and being like I love the world every part of it even landfills That would be impressive I’d be like, holy shit This girl really does love the whole ass world The really weird thing about this video though is that she’s doing all of this in front of like what looks like a middle school, so Not sure what that’s about. Maybe this is the middle school her daughter goes to wow, that would be embarrassing Can you imagine being in middle school? Which I guess that that would be pretty bad on its own just being in middle school But imagine being in middle school and you’re all you know Sad cuz you’re 12 and you’re just sitting in class and suddenly you just hear someone in the back of the class. Yell Yo is that your mom and the whole class turns to the window and everybody kind of gets up and crowds around the window and low and behold outside in the snow, it’s your mom and she’s just Doing this just making tik toks just slipping and sliding around in the snow loving the world He’s got another one in front of this school This one’s a little more sad though. If you want to go there not be so lonely If you’re leaving, baby, let me down slowly. Let me Random little girl in the background. Maybe that’s one of her other daughters just like Mom, what are you doing? Can we go home? I’m cold! What happened to love the world and you’ll feel good this one’s this one’s hashtag love hashtag life Hashtag betrayal hashtag emotion damn This is so emotional I like that the drop of the song Happens like right when she’s going off the swing like it’s supposed to be this really cool moment I mean, I guess she does get pretty decent air. I’m pretty impressed I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody jump that high off a swing before How does this woman have so many tick toks in front of this school? Does she just chill here all day like she drops her daughter off at school and she kisses her Goodbye, and she’s like, all right. I’ll see you in a couple hours And then she just hangs around outside making tik toks all day. Obviously, I’m kidding. I know she doesn’t do that That would be ridiculous Plus she’s got other things to do like getting punched in the stomach and if she stood around making tik toks all day. It’s all day outside of her daughter’s middle school She wouldn’t have any time for that now would she oh, she’s got a video of her actually punching Thank goodness, cuz I was just kind of worried that she just went to the gym and got punched in the stomach all day Whoa, it’s so real. It’s like she’s really punching me the sound effects lined up So well, how is she doing that winners focus on winning losers focus on winners. Hashtag punched the haters Wait, wait what hashtag haters are insects Oh no Oh fuck Guys I’m not sure that this is actually such a good idea making a video making fun of this woman anymore I didn’t know that she felt felt this way about haters and I didn’t know that she could actually punch either way I think I better tread lightly for the rest of this video I don’t want this woman coming up into my house and Slow-motion punching me to death maybe instead of focusing on things to critique her on let’s see how she deals with all the hate that she gets it seems like she’s been getting a lot of hate on tick tock because she’s made a couple videos addressing the haters We saw that one where she’s punching the air and then she’s got this one called peace. Hashtag. Bye haters Hashtag haters are trash. Hashtag insects. Hashtag. Bye forever So it seems like she’s found a way to get rid of the haters, which is pretty impressive. So, let’s see what it is Hey guys, I’m back to share with you all that finally. I found the secret to end all the hate. Ah hell Yeah, let’s see what it is Now there won’t be any hate on my account that’s it peace Peace. Peace Oh, okay. That can’t be all it takes to get rid of the haters. Just laughing, right? Let’s see this other video where she addresses the haters dear haters And she just laughs like a crazy person, okay I’m still going what the fuck this is deeply troubling and I think I’m done looking at this profile She does have an entire YouTube channel as well full of strange videos including this music video That’s sponsored by a food distribution service the music video is Simultaneously very off-brand and very on brand but it’s entirely in a different language So I don’t feel comfortable reviewing it because I don’t understand what she’s saying one thing I do understand though is that she’s very sweaty. Alright guys. 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