Trump’s Dr. Seuss Book, Dunkin’s New Millennial Ad


-Here’s what people
are talking about. The big story today
was that Congress had just one day left to prevent
a government shutdown. But don’t worry —
it’ll only affect nonessential government employees,
like park rangers, museum guides,
and the President, so that’ll be fine.
[ Laughter and applause ] I guess Congress
had 24 hours to pass a short-term spending bill if
they want to avoid a shutdown. Trump told them
to do their jobs, then went back
to announcing the winners of a made-up awards show. [ Laughter and applause ] Did you see this? Last night, Trump tweeted a link
to his Fake News Awards page, but for a while,
it wouldn’t load. [ Laughter ] His I.T. guy was like, [ Russian accent ] “Sorry, my
trolls can only build so fast.” [ Laughter and applause ] “I’ll get back
to working on this thing.” Heh heh heh.” [ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] But Trump
named “The New York Times,” ABC News, and CNN as the top
three reporters of fake news. And his top three reporters
of real news were Fox News, his Magic 8-Ball,
and Snapple caps. [ Laughter and applause ] Real news. This is interesting. I read that Trump
actually has two cellphones, and his staff nicknamed them
Trump 1 and Trump 2. Sounds a little something
out of a Dr. Seuss book. [ Laughter ]
It’s actually no coincidence. Trump actually wrote his own
Dr. Seuss book about himself. We got a copy.
Check this out. It says… [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] That’s not
a great book for kids. ♪♪♪♪ ♪♪ Cov-fefe, cov… ♪♪ [ Laughter ] Ooh, check this out.
Dunkin’ Donuts. I love Dunkin’ Donuts.
-Oh, the Dunk. -Dunkin’ Donuts is opening some
new stores around the country that are just called Dunkin’.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] -They’re saying
they’re next-generation stores for younger customers. But I think they might
be trying a little too hard to appeal to millennials. Check out their latest ad. -‘Sup teens?
Can you even? We can, ’cause we’re Dunkin’. We’re not your parents’
coffee place. Lame! Our new stores
are totally tilted. ♪♪ Tilted ♪♪ That other coffee?
-Corporate. -Know what I meme? -I can has coffee, meow? -R-R-R-R-Reboot! [ Explosion ] [ Air horn blaring ] D-a-a-amn, Dunkin’! We’re so cool,
we’re coming to Hulu. -Stream! -So fidget spin on into Dunkin’. We’re the G.O.A.T.! [ Goat screams ] [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -What? ♪♪♪♪ [ Laughter ] -Wow!
-Yeah. -Yeah, I know. It’s like — I think they’re
trying a little too hard. -You think
they’re trying too hard? -A little bit, man.
-[ Laughing ] -Oh, my goodness.
[ Laughing ] Get this, you guys. [ Laughter ] It’s tilted, man. -“Fidget spin
your way over here.” -Yeah, fidget, yeah.
[ Air horn blaring ] -Yeah, I know.
[ Laughter ] I saw that —
I saw that two new axe-throwing bars
will open in Boston this year. [ Light laughter ] That’s right — Boston
is getting a new bar where people
can try axe-throwing. So far, all the customers
give it 1 1/2 thumbs up. [ Laughter and applause ] And finally,
a little sports news. Sunday is the
AFC Championship game between the Patriots
and the Jaguars. [ Cheers and applause ] But I saw that Tom Brady
injured his hand. People said, “What happened?” He said, “You know
that new axe-throwing bar?” We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!

58 thoughts on “Trump’s Dr. Seuss Book, Dunkin’s New Millennial Ad

  1. that you like trump is truly proof that you suffer and is more like a beast than a human. And its all do to the percieved failure of ppl, especiall christian americans that failed to make the coin given to them into 5 like a true bibleperson always should^^ Also this is why america has more money than reason and love. So sad for you america. You should live in more well balanced europe, but we dont want you here if you like trump ^^ haha

  2. Hello.Hi guys could you help me reach 1k Subs? Youtube is taking my channel down if I dont reach 1k within 30 days. I only have 25 days left. 😢 Thank you for those who will help me! Thank you

  3. Trump's Fakies Awards were the best attended awards show in American history… period!

  4. the commercial was so cringy it kinda desensitized you to the insanity………well played

  5. Jimmy has no good material he has to use Trump as his own personal punching bag. It’s so lame

  6. There was more memes on that Dunkin’ add than in the Swish Swish music video

  7. No Jimmy, it was the Madden NFL curse MUAHAHAHHA >:) I have seriously been waiting for that to happen for so long now!

  8. Who will Jimmy interview after all the Hollywood pedo's get arrested? Oh wait, Jimmy may not have a job…

  9. He caved!! Couldn't take the pressure of everyone else around him turning totally polarizing!! Sad, I've enjoyed escaping the drama with just a fun show

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