Hello! Again. Everybody once more. It is time to get into this adventure that we call: “Try Not to Laugh” And when we don’t laugh, we’re never gonna laugh again. Because laughing is the only thing that brings us joy in life. And we wanna make sure that there is no joy. There is no happiness. There is nothing waiting for us in the darkness! That’s sad, okay. Let me try it a little less depressing now. Hi guys! My name is Markiplier! Ready to not laugh? Me too! ‘Cause my life is a vacuum of.. *pausing* despair.. Okay, alright, went sad again. So the point of this video, is not to be sad. It’s to not laugh. Alright, whatever, enough bullshit. I don’t know, it’s good enough, let’s go for this. C’mon, what do you got for me? *toy squeaks rhythmically* *toy squeaks as an explosion plays* *video repeats* *inhales and struggles * *short, quiet snort* *sniffs* mmm-MMM Mmm-mmmm-MMMM! *Humming grows deeper and more frustrated as Mark goes through puberty* *Dory snoring in video* Marlin: Dory says a lot of things in her sleep, okay? Dory voice over: I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass. *snorting and trying to hide laugh* Nah, not funny. Mark: Okay – what is this the HD version of this? *Mark snorts as the toy makes helicopter-like sounds* *toy squeaks once* *more helicopter-esque squeaking* *heavy breathing* *loud exhale* Ah, I wasn’t laughing I was just breathing very rapidly, just like that thing was. *groaning* I’m barely through this. *Singing fish playing ‘Do Wah Diddy Diddy’* Mark: I think I’ve seen this one before. *sound gets more and more distorted, then briefly returns to normal* *audio distorts again* *Song continues going up and down in quality* Mark: *high pitched* But I’ve seen this before! *Song is completely distorted* *song returns to normal as Mark breaks into slightly restrained giggles* Ugh, I’ve seen that before, so it doesn’t count! ‘Cause I’ve seen it before! That’s how this works, right? *Loud crash of thunder in video* *heavily accented* “Oh my Jesus, come back here” “Oh my god, baby, the bloody lightning bolt just missed you!” “Holy bloody mother of god, Jesus, fucking, my god, baby!” “Come back, the lightning bolt nearly hit you!” “Oh my god, baby, are you alright?” *Mark snorts and starting to fail again* *Sniffs* *Groaning* What dialect is that? *Video of man with heavy accent plays again and Mark giggles* *high pitched* What fucking dialect is that? *Video starts, with licking and slurping noises* Robbie Rotten: What do I owe you? Cashier (also Robbie Rotten): Nothing, it’s for free! Robbie: *gasp, then enthusiastically* Free? *Soviet Anthem plays* *Anthem continues* *Mark loudly clears throat* Mm, nope, not funny. Nah, not funny! *Yammering senselessly* You done? Oh, you got more to ya, oh. Is this going to go on for a while? *Anthem continues, fading* All right okay, you done-? *loud and distorted* Free? *Mark snorts and begins to giggle* Ah – you caught me, you caught me. You caught me off guard with that one. *robotic voice reading onscreen words* Mark: Oh no. *Mark snorts* *another snort* *Markimoo starting to giggle* *Mark laughs continuously* *inhales loudly* *More laughter* *Sniffs* *Groaning, clearing throat* I’ve seen memes of that. I’ve never seen – I didn’t think it was a video. *Ninja Sex Party’s cover of “Take On Me” by a-Ha! plays* Mark: Ohh… Mark: What? Oh, no… Mark: Source Filmmaker thing. ♪ We’re talking away ♪ ♪ I don’t know what ♪ ♪ I’m to say, I’ll say it anyway ♪ ♪ Today’s another day to find you♪ ♪ Shying away ♪ ♪ I’ll be coming for your love, okay? ♪ ♪ Take on me, (take on me) ♪ *Mark starting to giggle* ♪ Take me on, (take on me) ♪ ♪ I’ll be gone ♪ *Mark still giggling* ♪ In a day or two ♪ *sniff* Ahhh, nope. *Strained* Nah. *Strained* Didn’t laugh. In-game text-to-speech: “John Madden!” “John Madden!” “John Madden!” “Football!” “Mark!” “Mark! Mark! Mark!” “UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH” “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” “aeiou!” “aeiou!” “aeiou!” “aeiou!” “aeiou!” “aeiou!” “Snake!” “Snake!” “Snaaake” *Mark starting to laugh* “nine, seven, two!” “nine, eight, five!” “Big Amerrikan T.T.S.!” *words overlapping* “seven, three, three, five, fi-!” “UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH” “one billion – four hundred fifty-six million – seven thousand – eight hundred and ninety!” Chinese: Some of these are not bad Chinese: This ball’s direction is….. BROCHURRRE! THIS BALL IS LONG GONE JUST LIKE THE EX-GIRLFRIEND WHO. WILL. NEVER RETURN!!! HOMERUN!! (repeats) *gasps* Ah! *more laughter* *gasping* *giggling* *laughter* *Carmen Habanera instrumental plays* *laughter* *Habanera continues* *continued laughter* *continued laughter* *continued laughter, louder* *continued laughter* *Continued music* Mark: Ohh, I don’t know if this is funny to you, but it’s funny to me ’cause Chica’s the same way! Get it! Get it! *more giggles* *Seal making sounds described on screen*
*Mark begins to giggle* *Mark laughing* *Continued laughter* Mark: “Breh”…? *Mark laughing* *hardcore guitar (Shine by Collective Soul) starts* FUCK *music continues* *Bicycle horn* *Mark laughs as hardcore guitar riff continues* *chair squeak* *Mark laughing louder* *Man in video yells* *Mark laughs loudly* *car honk* *Mark laughs* Man in Video: DICK! *Continued laughter and giggling* *Groaning* *Giggling* *Video replays* *Man in video yells* *still laughing* *Car honk* *Mark laughs* Man in Video: DICK! *Continued laughter* Oh, no! Agh! *blubbering sounds* Okay, I’m done. Alright, so, I lost, as usual, what else is new? I think I lasted longer than last time, but honestly who cares, it’s still a loss… But if you won at home, uh- congratulations! You didn’t laugh, you did it! Very proud of you! But if you laughed at home, I’m so sorry you just got too much joy inside you, I guess. But anyway, thank you everybody so much for watching! Let me know if you enjoyed this one down in the comments below, I had a lot of fun with this one. There was a lot of good stuff in here, and, uh, if you wanna see another one of these, let me know that as well. I gotta dig for videos again, but… Ah man, it’s always worth it for those few good ones, God, it’s worth it. So, Thanks again everybody for watching, and as always, I will see YOU, in the next video! Buh-Bye!