Whose Body? (Version 2) | Dorothy L. Sayers | Detective Fiction | Talking Book | English | 2/5



chapter four of whose body by Dorothy Sayers this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recorded by Kerstin whoever Chapter four so there it is Parker said Lord Peter pushing his coffee cup aside and lighting his after-breakfast pipe you may find it leads you to something though it don't seem to get me any further with my bathroom problem did you do anything more at that after I left no but I've been on the roof this morning the deuce you have what an energetic devil you are I say Parker I think this cooperative scheme is an uncommon Lee good one it's much easier to work on someone else's job than one's own give someone that delightful feeling of interference and Boston about combined with some glorious sensation that another fellow is taken all one's own work off one's hands you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours what did you find anything not very much I looked for any footmarks of course but naturally with all this rain there wasn't a sign of course if this were a detective story there'd have been a convenient shower exactly an hour before the crime and a beautiful set of marks which could only have come there between 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning but this being real life in the London November you might as well expect footprints in Niagara I searched the roofs right along and came to the jolly conclusion that any person in any blessed flat in the Blessed Row might have done it all the staircases opened on to the roof and the leads are quite flat you can walk along as easy as a long chasteberry Avenue still I've got some evidence that the body did walk along there what's that Parker brought out his pocketbook and extracted a few shreds of material which he laid before his friend one was caught in the gutter just above tips his bathroom window another in a crack of the stone parapet just over it and the rest came from the chimney stack behind where they had caught in an iron stanchion what do you make of them Lord Peter scrutinized them very carefully through his lens interesting he said damned interesting have you developed those plates Bunter he added as that discreet assistant came in with the post yes my lord got anything I don't know whether to call it anything or not My Lord said Bunter dubiously I'll bring the prints in do said whimsy hello here's our advertisement about the gold chain in The Times very nice it looks right phone or call 110 Piccadilly perhaps it would have been safer to put a box number though I always think that the franker you are with people the more you're likely to see them so unused is the modern world to the open hand and the guileless heart what but you don't think the fellow who left that chain on the body is going to give himself away by coming here and inquiring about it I don't Fathead said Lord Peter with the easy politeness of the real aristocracy that's why I've tried to get hold of the jeweler who originally sold the chain see he pointed to the paragraph it's not an old chain hardly worn at all oh thanks Bunter now see here Parker these are the finger marks you noticed yesterday on the window sash and on the far edge of the bass I'd overlooked them I give you full credit for the discovery i crawl i grovel my name is Watson and you need not say what you were just going to say because I admit it all now we shall hello ello ello the three men stared at the photographs the criminal said Lord Peter bitterly climbed over the roots in the wet and not unnaturally got soot on his fingers he arranged the body in the bath and wiped away all traces of himself except to which he obligingly left to show us how to do our job we learn from a smudge on the floor that he wore India rubber boots and from this admirable set of fingerprints on the edge of the bath that he had the usual number of fingers and wore rubber gloves that's the kind of man he is take the fool away gentlemen he put the princess eye and returned to an examination of the shreds of material in his hand suddenly he whistled softly do you make anything of these Parker they seemed to me to be raveling zuv some coarse cotton stuff a sheet perhaps or an improvised rope yes said Lord Peter yes it may be a mistake it may be our mistake I wonder tell me do you think these tiny threads are long enough and strong enough to hang a man he was silent his long eyes narrowing just fits behind the smoke of his pipe what do you suggest doing this morning asked Parker well said Lord Peter it seems to me it's about time I took a hand in your job let's go around to Park Lane and see what larks sir rude and leafy was up to in dead last night and now mrs. penning if you would be so kind as to give me a blanket said mr. Bunty coming down into the kitchen and permit of me hanging a sheet across the lower part of this window and drawing the screen across here so so as to shut off any reflections if you understand me we'll get to work sir Reuben ladies cook with her eye upon mr. bunters gentlemanly and well tailored appearance hastened to produce what was necessary her visitor placed on the table a baskets containing a water bottle a silver-backed hairbrush a small roll of linoleum and the letters of a self-made merchant to his son bound in polished Morocco he drew an umbrella from beneath his arm and added it to the collection he then advanced a ponderous photographic machine and set it up in the neighborhood of the kitchen range then spreading a newspaper over the fair scrubbed surface of the table he began to roll up his sleeves and insinuate himself into a pair of surgical gloves sir Ruben Levy's valise entering at the moment and finding him thus engaged put aside the kitchen maid who was staring from a front-row position and inspected the apparatus critically mr. Bunter nodded brightly to him and uncorked a small bottle of grey powder odd sort of fish your employer isn't he said the Vallot carelessly very singular indeed said Mr bunting now my dear he added ingratiatingly to the parlormaid I wonder if you just pour a little of this gray powder over the edge of the bottle while I'm holding it and the same with this boot here at the top thank you miss what is your name price oh but you've got another name besides price haven't you Mabel eh that's a name i Mun commonly partial to that's very nicely done you've a steady hand miss Mabel see that that's the finger marks three there and two here and smudged over in both places no don't you touch a my dear or you'll rub off the boom will stand them up here till they're ready to have their portraits taken now then let's take the hairbrush next perhaps mrs. penning you'd like to lift him up very carefully by the bristles by the bristles mr. Bunter if you please mrs. penny and lay him here now miss Mabel another little exhibition of your skill if you please no we'll try the to black this time perfect couldn't have done it better myself ah there's a beautiful set no smudges this time that'll interest his lordship now the little book no I'll pick it up myself with these gloves you see and by the edges I'm a careful criminal mrs. penny I don't want to leave any traces dust the cover all over miss Mabel now this side that's the way to do it lots of prints and no smudges all according to plan oh please mr. graves you mustn't touch it it's as much as my place is worth to have it touched do you have to do much of this sort of thing inquired mr. graves from a superior standpoint any amount replied mr. Bunter with a groan calculated to appeal to mr. gravest heart and unlock his confidence if you'd kindly hold up one end of this bit of linoleum mrs. penning I'll hold up this end while miss Mabel operates yes mr. graves it's a hard life Vala ting by day and developing by night morning tea at any time from 6:30 to 11:00 and Criminal Investigation at all hours it's wonderful the idea of these rich men with nothing to do get into their heads I wonder you stand it said mr. graves now there's none of that here a quiet orderly domestic life mr. Bunter has much to be said for it means at regular hours decent respectable families to dinner none of your painted women and no Vala ting at night there's much to be said for it I don't hold with Hebrews as a rule mr. Bunter and of course I understand that you may find it to your advantage to be in a titled family but there's less thought of that these days and I will say for a self-made man no one could call Sir Reuben vulgar and milady at any reagan's County miss Ford she was one of perhaps sure Fords and both of them always most considerate ah agree with you mr. graves his lordship and me have never held was being narrow-minded why yes my dear of course it's a foot mark this is the wash stand the no Liam oh good you can be a good man that's what I've always said and regular hours and considerate habits have a great deal to recommend them very simple in his tastes now sir Reuben isn't he for such a rich man I mean very simple indeed said the cook the meals he and her ladyship have when they're by themselves with Miss Rachel well there now if it wasn't for the dinners which is always good when there's company I'd be wasting my talents in education here if you understand me mr. Bunter mr. Bunter added the handle of the umbrella to his collection and began to pin a sheet across the window aided by the housemaid admirable said he now if I might have this blanket on the table and another on a towel horse or something of that kind by way of a background you're very kind mrs. pemon ah I wish his Lords have never wanted balloting at night many's the time I've set up till three and four and up again to call him early to go off sure locking at the other end of the country and the mud he gets on his clothes and his boots I'm sure it's a shame mr. Bunter said mrs. penning warmly low I calls it in my opinion police work ain't no fit occupation for a gentleman not alone a lordship everything made so difficult to said mr. Bunty nobly sacrificing his employers character and his own feelings in a good cause boots chucked into a corner clothes hung up on the floor as they say that's often the case with these men as are born with a silver spoon in their mouths said mr. graves now sir Reuben he's never lost his good old-fashioned habits clothes folded up neat it's put out in his dressing room so as a man could get to them in the morning everything made easy he forgot them the night before last though the clothes it's not the boots always thoughtful for others is Saruman ah I hope nothing's happened to him indeed no poor gentleman chimed in the cook and as for what they're saying that he'd have gone out Suresh was like to do something he didn't not well I'll never believe it of him mister Bunter not if I was to take my dying oh the pond it ah said Mr bunting his art lab sent connecting them with the nearest electric light and that's more than most of us could say of them as pays us five-foot-ten said Lord Peter and not an inch more he peered dubiously at the depression in the bedclothes and measured it a second time with the gentlemen scouts of a de Maycomb parker entered this particular in a neat pocketbook I suppose he said a six foot two men might leave a five foot ten depression if he curled himself up have you any Scotch blood in you Parker enquired his colleague bitterly not that I know of replied Parker why because of all the cautious I'm generous deliberate and cold-blooded Devils I know said Lord Peter you are the most cautious ungenerous deliberate and cold-blooded here am i sweating my brains out to introduce a really sensational incident into your dull and disreputable little police investigation and you refuse to show a single spark of enthusiasm well it's no good jumping at conclusions jump you don't even crawl distantly within sight of a conclusion I believe if you caught the cat with her head in the cream jug you'd say it was conceivable that the job was empty when she got there well it would be all wouldn't it curse you said Lord Peter he screwed his monocle into his eye and bent over the pillow breathing hard and tightly through his nose here give me the tweezers he said presently go into heavens man don't blow like that you might be a whale he nipped up an almost invisible object from the linen what is it asked Parker it's a hair said wimzie grimly his hard eyes growing harder let's go look at ladies hats shall we and you might just ring for that fellow with the churchyard name do you mind mr. graves when summoned found Lord Peter Wimsey squatting on the floor of the dressing room before a row of hats arranged upside down before him here you are said that nobleman cheerfully now graves this is a guessing competitions a sort of three hat trick to mix metaphors here are nine hats including three top hats do you identify all these hats as belonging to Sir Reuben levy you do very good now I have three guesses as to which hat he wore the night he disappeared and if I guessed right I will if I don't you win see ready go I suppose you know the answer yourself by the way do I understand your lordship to be asking which hat sir Reuben wore when he went out on Monday night your lordship no you don't understand a bit said Lord Peter I'm asking if you know don't tell me I'm going to guess I do know your lordship said mr. graves reprovingly well said Lord Peter as he was dining at the Ritz he wore a topper here are three stoppers in three guesses I'd be bound to hit the right one wouldn't I that don't seem very sporting I'll take one guess it was this one he indicated the Hat next to the window am i right grades have I got the prize that is that in question my Lord said mr. graves without excitement thanks said Lord Peter that's all I wanted to know ask buncher to step up would you mister Bunter stepped up with an aggrieved heir and his usually smooth hair ruffled by the focusing cloth oh there you are Bunter said Lord Peter look here Here I am my lord said Bunter with respectful reproach but if you'll excuse my saying so downstairs is where I ought to be with all those young women about they'll be fingering the evidence my lord I cry your mercy said Lord Peter but I have quarreled hopelessly with mr. Parker and distracted the estimable graves and I want you to tell me what fingerprints you have found I shan't be happy till I get it so don't be harsh with me Bunter well my lord your lordship understands I haven't photographed them yet but I won't deny that their appearance is interesting my lord the little book off the night table my lord has only the marks of one set of fingers there's a little scar on the right thumb which makes them easy recognized the hairbrush to my lord has only the same set of marks the umbrella the toothed glass and the boots all have two sets the hand with the scarred thumb which I take to be Sir Rubens my lord and a set of smudges superimposed upon them if I may put it that way my lord which may or may not be the same hand in rubber gloves I could tell you better when I've got the photographs made to measure them my lord the linoleum in front of the wash stand is very gratifying indeed my lord if you will excuse my mentioning it besides the marks of Sir Rubens boots which your lordship pointed out there's the print of a man's naked foot smaller one my lord not much more than a 10 inch sock I should say if you asked me Lord Peters face became irradiated with almost a dim religious light a mistake he breathed a mistake a little one but he can't afford it when was the linoleum washed last Bunter Monday morning my lord the house maid did it and remembered to mention it only remark she's made yet and it's to the point the other domestics his features expressed disdain what did I say Parker 5 foot 10 and not an inch longer and he didn't dare to use the hairbrush beautiful but he had to risk the top-hat gentleman can't walk home in the rain late at night without a hat you know Parker look what do you make of it two sets of fingerprints on everything but the book and the brush two sets of feets on linoleum and two kinds of hair in the Hat he lifted the top hat to the light and extracted the evidence with tweezers think of it Parker to remember the hairbrush and forget the hat to remember his fingers all the time and to make that one careless step on the tell-tale linoleum here they are you see black hair and tan hair black hair in the bowler and the Panama and black and tan in last night's topper and then just make certain that were on the right track just one little auburn hair on the pillow on this pillow Parker which isn't quite in the right place almost brings tears to my eyes do you mean to say said the detective slowly I mean to say said Lord Peter that it was not Sir Reuben Levy whom the cook saw last night on the doorstep I say that it was another man perhaps a couple of inches shorter who came here in ladies clothes let himself in with Levy's latchkey oh he was a bold cunning devil Parker he had on levees boots and every stitch of Levy's clothing down to the skin he had rubber gloves on his hands which he never took off and he did everything he could to make us think that levy slept here last night he took his chances and won he walked upstairs he undressed he even washed and cleaned his teeth though didn't use the hairbrush for fear of leaving red hairs in it he had to guess what levy did with his boots and clothes one guess was wrong and the other right as it happened the bed must look as if it had been slept in so he gets in and lies there in his victims very pajamas then in the morning sometime probably in the deadest hour between 2:00 and 3:00 he gets up dresses himself in his own clothes that he has brought with him in a bag and creeps downstairs if anybody wakes he is lost but he is a bold man and he takes his chance he knows that people do not wake as a rule and they don't wake he opens the street door which he left on the latch when he came in he listens for the stray passerby or the policeman on his beat he slips out he pulls the door quietly to with the latchkey he walks briskly away in rubber soled shoes he's the kind of criminal who isn't complete without rubber soled shoes in a few minutes he is at Hyde Park Corner after that he paused and added he did all that and unless he had nothing at stake he had everything at stake either sir Rubin levy has been spirited away for some silly practical joke or the man with the auburn hair has the guilt of murder upon his soul dear me ejaculated the detective you're very dramatic about it Lord Peter has his hand rather wearily over his hair my true friend he murmured in a voice surcharge with emotion you recall me to the nursery rhymes of my youth the sacred duty of flippancy there was an old man of Whitehaven who danced a quadrille with Raven but they said it's absurd to encourage that bird so they smashed that old man of Whitehaven that's the correct attitude Parker here's a poor old buffer spirited away such a joke and I don't believe he'd hurt a fly himself that makes it funnier do you know Parker I don't care frightfully about this case after all which this or yours both I say Parker shall we go quietly home and have lunch and go to the Coliseum and you can if you like replied the detective but you forget I do this from my bread and butter and I haven't even that excuse said Lord Peter well what's the next move what would you do in my case I do some good hard grind said Parker I distrust every bit of works ugh ever did and I get the family history of every tenant of every flat in Queen Caroline mansions I'd examine all their box rooms and roof traps and I would invade them into conversations and suddenly bring in the words body and past nay and see if they wriggled like those modern psycho what's-his-name's you would would you said Lord Peter with a grin well we've exchanged cases you know so you just toddle off and do it I'm going to have a jolly time at Wyndham Parker made a grimace well he said I don't suppose you'd ever do it so I'd better you will never become a professional till you learn to do a little work whimsy how about lunch I'm invited out said Lord Peter magnificently I'll run round and change at the club can't feed Fredi Arbuthnot in these bags Bunter yes my lord pack up if you're ready and come round and wash my face and hands for me at the club work here for another two hours My Lord can't do with less than 30 minutes exposure the currents none too strong you see how I'm bullied by my own man Parker well I must Barrett I suppose Tata he whistled his way downstairs the conscientious mr. Parker with a groan settled down to a systematic search through sir Reuben ladies papers with the assistance of a plate of ham sandwiches and a bottle of bass Lord Peter and the Honorable Freddie Arbuthnot looking together like an advertisement for gents trouser rings strolled into the dining room at Wyndham haven't seen you for an age said the Honorable Freddie what have you been doing with yourself Oh fooling about said Lord Peter languidly thick or clear sir and choir the waiter of the Honorable Freddie which will you have wimzie said that gentleman transferring the burden of selection to his guests they're both equally poisonous well clear is less trouble to lick out of the spoon said Lord Peter clear said the Honorable Freddie consomme Paulina's agreed the waiter very nice sir conversation languished until the Honorable fede found a bone in the fileted soul and sent for the head waiter to explain its presence when this matter had been adjusted Lord Peter found energy to say sorry to hear about your Governor old man yes poor old buffer said the Honorable Freddie they say he can't last long now what oh the Montrachet Oh eight there is nothing fit to drink in this place he added gloomily after this deliberate insult to a noble vintage there was a further pause till Lord Peter said how's change rotten said the Honorable Freddie he helped himself gloomily too-sami of game can I do anything ask Lord Peter oh no thanks very decent of you but it'll pan out all rights in time this isn't the bad Sami said Lord Peter I've eaten worse admitted his friend what about those Argentines enquired Lord Peter here waiter there's a bit of quark in my glass cork cried the Honorable Freddie with something approaching animation you'll hear about this waiter it's an amazing thing a fellow who's paid to do the job can't manage to take a cork out of a bottle what do you say Argentines I've gone all to hell Oh levy bunking off like that's not the bottom out of the market you don't say so said Lord Peter well what to suppose has happened to the old man cursed if I know sandy honorable Freddy knocked on the head by the Bears I should think perhaps he's gone off on his own suggested Lord Peter double life you know get the old blighter some of these city men oh no said the Honorable Freddy faintly roused no hang it all wimzie i wouldn't care to say that he's a decent old domestic bird and his daughters a charming girl besides he's straight enough he do you down fast enough but he wouldn't let you down old anderson is badly cut up about it who's anderson chap worth property out there he belongs here he was going to meet levy on Tuesday he's afraid of those railway people getting in now and then it'll be all you P who's running the railway people over here and quired Lord Peter Yankee blighter John P Milligan he's got an option or says he has you can't trust these brutes Kent Anderson hold on Anderson isn't levy it hasn't got the shekels besides he's only one levy covers the ground he could boycott Milligan it's beastly railway if he liked that's where he's got the pole you see believe I met the Milligan man somewhere said Lord Peters thoughtfully ain't he yeah hulking brute with black hair and a beard you were thinking of somebody else said the Honorable Freddie Milligan don't stand any higher than I do unless you call five feet 10 hulking and he's bald anyway Lord Peter considered this over the gorgonzola then he said didn't know aleady had a charming daughter oh yes said the Honorable Freddie with an elaborate detachment met her and the MA last year abroad that's how I got to know the old man he's been very decent let me into this Argentine business on the ground floor don't you know well said Lord Peter you might do worse money's money ain't it and lady levy is quite a redeeming point at least my mother knew her people oh she's all right said the Honorable Freddie and the old man's nothing to be ashamed of nowadays he's self-made of course but he don't pretend to be anything else no side toddles off to business on a 96 bus every morning can't make up my mind two taxis my boy he says I had to look at every hip and knee when I was a young man and I can't get out of the way of it now though if he's taken his family out nothing's too good Rachel that's the girl always laughs at the old man's little economies I suppose they've sent for lady levy said Lord Peter I suppose so agreed the other I'd better pop round and express sympathy or something what wouldn't look well not to do you think but it's just awkward what am I to say I don't think it matters much what you say said Lord Peter helpfully I should ask if you can do anything thanks said the lover I will energetic young man count on me always at your service ring me up any time of the day or night that's the line to take don't you think that's the idea said Lord Peter mr. John P Milligan the London representative of the great Milligan Railroad and shipping company was dictating code cables to his secretary in an office in Lombard Street one card was brought up to him bearing the simple legend Lord Peter Wimsey marble club mr. Milligan was annoyed at the interruption but like many of his nation if he had a weak point it was the British aristocracy he postponed for a few minutes the elimination from the map of a modest but promising farm and directed that the visitor should be shown up good afternoon said that nobleman ambling genial Ian it's most uncommonly good of you to let me come round wasting your time like this I'll try not to be too long about it though I'm not awfully good at coming to the point my brother never would let me stand for the county you know said I wandered on so nobody know what I was talking about pleased to meet you Lord whimsy said Milligan won't you take a seat thanks said Lord Peter but I'm not the Duke you know that's my brother Denver my name's Peter it's a silly name I always think so old-world and full of homely virtue in that sort of thing but my Godfather's and godmothers in my baptism are responsible for that I suppose officially but she's really rather hard on them you know as they didn't actually choose it but we always have a Peter after the third duke who betrayed five kings somewhere about the wars of roses though come to think of it it ain't anything to be proud of still one has to make the best of it mr. Milligan thus ingeniously placed at that disadvantage which attends ignorant manoeuvered for position and offered his interrupter a Corona Corona thanks awfully said Lord Peter no you merely mustn't tempt me to stay here babbling on all afternoon by Jove mr. Miller and if you offer people such comfortable chairs and cigars like these I wonder they don't come and live in your office he added mentally I wish to goodness I could get those long toed boots off you house a man to know the size of your feet and a head like a potato it's enough to make one swear say now Lord Peter said mr. Milligan can I do anything for you well do you know said Lord Peter I'm wondering if you would and stamp cheek to ask you but fact is it's my mother you know wonderful woman but don't realise what it means demands on the time of a busy man like you we don't understand hustle over here you know mr. Milligan now don't you mention that said mr. Milligan I'd be surely charmed to do anything to oblige the Duchess he felt a momentary qualms as to whether a Dukes mother were also a duchess but breathed more freely as Lord Peter went on thanks that's uncommon ly good of you well now it's like this my mother most energetic self-sacrificing woman don't you see in stinking of getting up a sort of charity bazaar down at Denver this winter in aid of the church roof you know very sad case mr. Milligan fine old antique early English windows and decorated angel roof and all that all tumbling to pieces rain pouring in and so on vicar catch and rheumatism at early service Oh into the draught blowing in over the altar you know the sort of thing they've got a man down starting on it little beggar called Phipps lives with an agent mother in Battersea vulgar little beast but quite good on angel roofs and things I'm told at this point Lord Peter watched his interlocutor narrowly but finding that this rigmarole produced in him no reaction more startling than polite interest tinged with faint bewilderment he abandoned this line of investigation and proceeded I say I beg your pardon frightfully I'm afraid I'm being long winded fact is my mother is getting up just bizarre and she thought it would be awfully interest in sideshow to have some lectures sort of little talks you know by eminent businessmen of all nations how I did it's kind of touch you know a drop of oil with mr. Rockefeller cash and conscience by Cadbury's cocoa and so on it would interest people down there no end you see all my mother's friends will be there and we've none of us any money not what you'd call money I mean I expect our incomes wouldn't pay your telephone calls would they but we like awfully to hear about people who can make money gives us a sort of uplifted feeling don't you know well anyway I mean my mother be frightfully pleased and grateful to you mr. Milligan if you come down and give us a few words as a representative American it needn't take more than ten minutes or so you know because the local people can't understand much beyond shootin and huntin and my mother's crowd can't keep their minds on anything more than ten minutes together but we really appreciate it very much if you'd come and stay a day or two and just give us a little breezy word on the almighty dollar y-yes said mr. Milligan I'd like to Lord Peter it's kind of the Duchess to suggest it it's a very sad thing when he's find old antiques began to wear out I'll come with great pleasure and perhaps you'd be kind enough to accept a little donation to the restoration fund this unexpected development nearly brought Lord Peter up all standing to pump by means of an ingenious live they hospitable gentleman whom you are inclined to suspect of a peculiarly malicious murder and to accept from him in the course of the proceedings a large check for a charitable object has something about it unpalatable to any but the hardened Secret Service agent Lord Peter temporized that's awfully decent of you he said I am sure they no and grateful but you'd better not give it to me you know I might spend it or lose it not very reliable I'm afraid the vicar's the right person the reverend constantine Throgmorton saint john before the latin gate vicarage Dukes Denver if you like to send it there I will said mr. Milligan will you write it out now for a thousand pound scoot in case it slips my mind later the secretary a sandy haired young man with a long chin and no eyebrows silently did as he was requested Lord Peter looked from the bald head of mr. Milligan to the red head of the secretary hardened his heart and tried again well I'm know and grateful to you mr. Milligan and so my mother be when I tell her I'll let you know the date of the bazaar it's not quite settled yet and I've got to see some other businessmen don't you know I thought of asking Lord Northcliffe to represent English newspapers you know and a friend of mine promises me a leaden German very interested in if there ain't too much feeling against it down in the country and I'd better get Rothschild I suppose to do the Hebrew point of view I thought of asking levy you know only he's floated off in this inconvenient way yes said mr. Milligan that's a very curious thing though I don't mind saying Lord Peter that it's a convenience to me he had a cinch on my railroad combine but I had nothing against him personally and he turns up after I've brought off a little deal I've got on I'll be happy to give him the right hand of welcome a vision passed through Lord Peters mind of Sir Reuben kept somewhere in custody till a financial crisis was over this was exceedingly possible and far more agreeable than his earlier conjecture it also agreed better with the impression he was forming of mr. Milligan well it's a rum go said Lord Peter but I dare say he had his reasons much better not to him acquiring peoples reasons you know what especially as a police friend of mine who's connected with the case says the old Johnny dyed his hair before he went out of the tail of his eye Lord Peter saw the redheaded Secretary add up five columns of figures simultaneously and jot down the answer dyed his hair did he said mr. Milligan died had red said Lord Peter the secretary looked up odd thing is continued wimzie they can't lay hands on the bottle something fishy there don't you think what the Secretary's interest seemed to have evaporated he inserted a fresh sheet into his loose-leaf ledger and carried forward a row of digits from the preceding page I daresay there's nothing in it said Lord Peter rising to go well it's uncommon ly good of you to be bothered with me like this mr. bellington my mother will be no end pleased she'll write you about the date I'm charmed said mr. Milligan very pleased to have met you mr. scoot rose silently to open the door uncoiling as he did so a portentous length of thin leg hitherto hidden by the desk with a mental sigh Lord Peter estimated him at six foot four it's a pity I can't put scutes head on Milligan's shoulders said Lord Peter the emerging into the swirl of the city and what will my mother say end of chapter 4 recorded by Kirsten Webber Chapter five of whose body by Dorothy Sayers this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recorded by Kerstin Weber chapter five mr. Parker was a bachelor and occupied a Georgian but inconvenient flats at number 12 Great Ormond Street for which he paid a pound a week his exertions in the cause of civilization were rewarded not by the gift of diamond rings from Empress's or munificent checks from grateful prime ministers but by a modest though sufficient salary drawn from the pockets of the British taxpayer he awoke after a long day of arduous and inconclusive labour to the smell of burnt porridge through his bedroom window hygienic Lee opened top and bottom a raw fog was rolling slowly in and the sight of a pair of winter pants flung hastily over a chair the previous night fretted him with a sense of the sordid absurdity of the human form the telephone bell rang and he crawled vechicle out of bed and into the sitting-room where mrs. month so did for him by the day was laying the table sneezing as she went mister Bunter was speaking his lordship says he'd be very glad sir if you could make it convenient to step round to breakfast if the odor of kidney and bacon had been wafted along the wire mr. Parker could not have experienced a more vivid sense of consolation tell his lordship I'll be with him in half an hour he said thankfully and plunging into the bathroom which was also the kitchen he informed him is his mum's who was just making tea from a kettle which had gone off the boil that he should be out to breakfast you can take the porridge home for the family he added viciously and flung off his dressing gown with such determination that mrs. Mullins could only scuttle away with a snort a 19 bus deposited him in Piccadilly only 15 minutes later than his rather sanguine impulse had prompted him to suggest and mr. Bunter served him with glorious food incomparable coffee and Daily Mail before a blazing fire of wood and coal a distant voice singing the at a tea room vent or assess from box mass in B minor proclaimed that for the owner of the flat cleanliness and godliness met at least once a day and presently Lord Peter roamed in moist and verbena scented in a bathrobe cheerfully patterned with unnaturally variegated peacocks morning old dear said that gentleman beast of a day ain't it very good of you to trundle out in it but I had a letter I wanted to deceive and I hadn't the energy to come round to your place punter and I have been making a night of it what's the letter asked Parker never talked business with your mouth full said Lord Peter reproving me have some Oxford marmalade and then I'll show you my Dante they brought it round last night what ought I to read this morning Bunter Lord Aris collection is going to be sold my lord there is a column about it in the Morning Post I think your lordship should look at this review of Sir Julian freaks new book on the physiological basis of the conscience in The Times Literary Supplement then there is a very singular little burglary in the chronicle my lord and an attack on titled families in The Herald rather ill written if I may say so but not without unconscious humour which your lordship will appreciate all right give me that and the burglary said his lordship I have looked over the other papers pursued mr. Bunter indicating a formidable pile and marked your Lordships after breakfast reading Oh pray don't allude to it said Lord Peter you take my appetite way there was silence but for the crunching of toast and the crackling of paper I see they adjourned the inquest said Parker presently nothing else to do said Lord Peter nuts lady levy arrived last night and will have to go and fail to identify the body this morning for Suggs benefits time too said Mr Parker shortly silence fell again I don't think much of your burglary Bunter said Lord Peter competent of course but no imagination I want imagination in a criminal where is the morning post after a further silence Lord Peter said you might send for the catalogue banter that's apollonius rhodius might be worth looking at footnote apollonius rhodius lorenzo bode a lopa Firenze 1496 cuarto the excitement attendant on the solution of the battersea mystery did not prevent Lord Peter from securing this rare work before his departure for Corsica no I'm damned if I'm going to starch through that review but you can stick the book on the library list if you like his book on crime was entertaining enough as far as it went but the fellows got a bee in his bonnet thanks God's a secretion of the liver alright once in a way but there's no need to keep on about it there's nothing you can't prove if your outlook is only sufficiently limited look at sub I beg your pardon said Parker I wasn't attending Argentines are studying a little I see Milligan said Lord Peter oils in a bad way levees made a difference there that funny little boom in peruvians that came on just before he disappeared has died away again I wonder if he was concerned in it do you know at all I'll find out said the Lord Peter what was it Oh an absolutely dud Enterprise that hadn't been heard of for years it suddenly took a little lease of life last week I happen to notice because my mother got lit in for a couple of hundred shares long time ago it never paid a dividend now it's petered out again wimzie pushed his plate aside and lit a pipe having finished I don't mind doing some work he said how did you get on yesterday I didn't replied Parker I sluiced up and down those flats in my own bodily shape and two different disguises I was a gas meter man and a collector for a home for lost doggies and I didn't get a thing to go on except a servant in the top flat at the Battersea bridge road end of the row who said she thought she'd heard a bump on the roof one night asked which night she couldn't rightly say asked if it was Monday night she thought it very likely asked if it might not have been in that high wind on Saturday night that blew my chimney pot off she couldn't say but what it might have been asked if she was sure it was on the roof and not inside the flat said to be sure they did find a picture tumbled down next morning very suggestible girl I saw your friends mr. and mrs. Appledore who received me coldly but could make no definite complaint about Fitz except that his mother dropped her h's and that he once called on them uninvited armed with a pamphlet about anti-vivisection the Indian Colonel on the first floor was loud but unexpectedly friendly he gave me Indian curry for supper and some very good whiskey but he's sort of hermit and all he could tell me was that he couldn't stand mrs. Appledore did you get nothing at the house only lady's private diary I brought it away with me here it is it doesn't tell one much though it's full of entries like Tom and Annie to dinner and my dear wife's birthday gave her an old opal ring mr. Arbuthnot dropped into tea he wants to marry Rachel but I should like someone steadier for my treasure still I thought it would show who came to the house and so on he evidently wrote it up at night there's no entry for Monday I expect it'll be useful said Lord Peter turning over the pages poor old buffer I say I'm not so certain now he was done away with he detailed to mr. Parker his day's work Arbus not said Parker is that the Arbuthnot's of the diary I suppose so I hunted him up because I knew he was fond of fooling around the stock exchange as for Milligan he looks all right but I believe he's pretty ruthless in business and you never can tell then there's a red-haired secretary lightnin calculator man with a face like a fish keeps on saying nothing got the tar baby and his family triage think Milligan's got a jolly good motive for that any rate suspended levy for a few days and then there's a new man what new men ah that's the letter I mentioned to you and where did I put it here we are good parchment paper printed address of solicitors office in Salisbury and postmark to correspond very precisely written with a fine nib by an elderly businessman of old-fashioned habits Parker took the letter and read Salsbury solicitors Milford Hill Salsbury 17 November 1920 blank sir with reference to your advertisement today in the personal column of the times I am disposed to believe that the eyeglasses and chain in question may be those I lost on the Elbe and SC Electric Railway while visiting London last Monday I left Victoria by the 5:45 train and did not notice my loss till I arrived at Balam this indication and the opticians specification of the glasses which I am closed should suffice at once as an identification and a guarantee of my bona fide errs if the glasses should prove to be mine I should be greatly obliged to you if he would kindly forward them to me by registered post as the chain was a present from my daughter and is one of my dearest possessions thanking you in advance for this kindness and regretting the trouble to which I shall be putting you I am yours very truly Thomas Crimson Lord Peter Wimsey 110 Piccadilly West and closure dear me said Parker this is what you might call unexpected either it is some extraordinary misunderstanding said Lord Peter or mr. Krim felsham is a very bold and cunning villain or possibly of course they are the wrong glasses we may as well get a ruling on that point at once I suppose the glasses are at the yard I wish you'd just bring him up and ask him to send round an opticians description of them at once and you might ask at the same time whether it's a very common prescription right you are said Parker and took the receiver off its hook and now said his friend when the message was delivered just come into the library for a minute on library table Lord Peter had spread out a series of bromide prints some dry some damp and some but half washed these little ones are the originals of the photos we've been taking said Lord Peter and these big ones are enlargements all made to precisely the same scale this one here is the foot mark on linoleum we'll put that by itself at present now these fingerprints can be divided into five Lots I've numbered them on the prints see then made a list a the fingerprints of aleady himself off his little bedside book and his hairbrush this and this you can't mistake the little scar on the thumb B the smudges made by the gloved fingers of the man who slept in lady's room on Monday night they show clearly on the water bottle and on the boots superimposed on levees they are very distinct on the boots surprisingly so four gloved hands and I deduced that the gloves were rubber once and had recently been in water here's an interesting point Levy walked in the rain on Monday night as we know and these dark marks are mud splashes you see they lie over levees fingerprints in every case now see on this left boot we find the strangers thumb mark over the mud on the leather above the heel that's a funny place to find a thumb mark on a boot isn't it that is if levy took off his own boots but it's the place where you'd expect to see it if somebody forcibly removed his boots for him again most of the stranger's finger marks come over the mud marks but here is one stash of mud which comes on top of them again which makes me infer that the stranger came back to Park Lane wearing Levy's boots in the cab carriage or car but that at some point or other he walked a little way just enough to tread in a puddle and get a splash on the boots what do you say very pretty said Parker a bit intricate though and the marks are not all that I could wish a fingerprint to be well I won't lay too much stress on it but it fits in with our previous idea now let's turn to see the prints obligingly left by my own particular villain on the further edge of Fitz's bath where you spotted them and I ought to be scourge for not having spotted them the left hand you notice the base of the palm and the fingers but not the tips looking as though he had steadied himself on the edge of the bath while leaning down to adjust something at the bottom the pass nay perhaps gloved you see but showing no Ridge or seam of any kind I say rubber you say rubber that's that now see here D and E come off a visiting card of mine there's this thing at the corner marked F but that you can disregard in the original document it's a sticky mark left by the thumb of the youth who took it from me after first removing a piece of chewing gum from his teeth with his finger to tell me that mr. Milligan might or might not be disengaged D and E are the thumb marks of mr. Milligan and his red-haired secretary I'm not clear which is which but I saw the youth with the chewing gum hand the card to the secretary and when I got into the inner shrine I saw John P Milligan standing with it in his hand so it's one or the other and for the moment it's immaterial to our purpose which is which I boned the card from the table when I left well now Parker here's what's been keeping Bunter and me up till the small hours I've measured and measured every way backwards and forwards till my head spinnin and I've stared till I'm nearly blind but I'm hanged if I can make my mind up question one is C identical with B question two is D or E identical with B there is nothing to go on but the size and shape of course and the marks are so faint what do you think Parker shook his head doubtfully I think II might almost be put out of the question he said it seems such an excessively long and narrow thumb but I think there is a decided resemblance between the span of B on the water bottle and C on the bath and I don't see any reason why he shouldn't be the same as B only there's so little to judge from your untutored judgment and my measurements have brought us both to the same conclusion if you can call it a conclusion said Lord Peter bitterly another thing said Parker why on earth should we try to connect B with C the fact that you and I happen to be friends doesn't make it necessary to conclude that the two cases we happen to be interested in have any organic connection with one another why should they the only person who thinks they have is sugg and he's nothing to go by it would be different if there were any truths in the suggestion that the man bath was V V but we know for a certainty he wasn't it's ridiculous to suppose that the same man was employed in committing two totally distinct crimes on the same night one in Battersea and the other in Park Lane I know said wimzie now of course we mustn't forget the TV was in Battersea at the time and now we know he didn't return home at 12:00 as was supposed we've no reason to think he ever left Battersea at all true but there are other places in Battersea besides dips his bathroom and he wasn't in Fitz's bathroom in fact come to think of it that's the one place in the universe where we know definitely that he wasn't so what's tips bath got to do with it I don't know said Lord Peter well perhaps we shall get something better to go on today he leaned back in his chair and smoked thoughtfully for some time over the papers which Bunter had marked for him they've got you out in the limelight he said thank heavens ugh hates me too much to give me any publicity what a dull agony column darling pip see come back soon – you're distracted pop see and the usual young man in need of financial assistance and the usual injunction to remember thy creator in the days of thy youth hello there's the Bell oh it's our answer from Scotland Yard the note from Scotland Yard enclosed an opticians specification identical with that sent by mr. cripple 'some and added that it was an unusual one owing to the peculiar strength of the lenses and the marked difference between the sight of the two eyes that's good enough said Parker yes said whimsy then possibility number three is knocked on the head the remain possibility number one accident or misunderstanding and number two deliberate villainy of a remarkably bold and calculating kind of a kind in fact characteristic of the off or authors of our two problems following the methods inculcated at that university of which I have the honor to be a member we will now examine severally the various suggestions afforded by possibility number two this possibility may be again subdivided into two or more hypotheses on hypothesis one strongly advocated by my distinguished colleague professor snoop shed the criminal whom we may designate as X is not identical with crumpled sham but is using the name of chrimbus room as his shield or aegis this hypothesis may be further subdivided into two alternatives alternative a cripple 'some is an innocent and unconscious accomplice and X is in his employment X writes in crumpled shams name on cripple shims office paper and obtains that the object in question I the eyeglasses be despatched to cripple shams address he is in a position to intercept the parcel before it reaches cripple shim the presumption is that X is crumpled shims charwoman office boy clerk secretary or porter this offers a wide field of investigation the method of enquiry will be to interview crumpled shim and discover whether he sent the letter and if not who has access to his correspondence alternative B crumpled shim is under X's influence or in his power and has been induced to write the letter by a bribery B misrepresentation or C threats X may in that case be a persuasive relation or friend or else a creditor blackmailer or assassin crimson on the other hand is obviously venal or a fool the method of inquiry in this case I would tentatively suggest is again to interview cripple sham put the facts of the case strongly before him and assure him in the most intimidating terms that he is liable to a prolonged term of penal servitude as an accessory after the fact in the crime of murder ah-hem trusting gentlemen that you have followed me thus far we will pass on to the consideration of hypothesis two to which I personally incline and according to which X is identical with creme Folsom in this case crab Wilson who is in the words of an English classic a man of infinite-resource-and-sagacity correctly deduces that of all people the last whom we shall expect to find answering our advertisement is the criminal himself accordingly he plays a bold game of bluff he invents an occasion on which the glasses may very easily have been lost or stolen and applies for them if confronted nobody will be more astonished than he to learn where they were found he will produce witnesses to prove that he left Victoria at 5:45 and emerged from the train at Balam at the scheduled time and set up all Monday night playing chess with a respectable gentleman well-known in Balham in this case the method of enquiry will be to pump the respectable gentlemen in Balham and if he should happen to be a single gentleman with a deaf housekeeper it may be no easy matter to impugn the alibi since outside detective romances few ticket collectors and bus conductors keep an exact remembrance of all the passengers passing between Balam and London on any and every evening of the week finally gentlemen I will frankly point out the weak point of all these hypotheses namely that none of them offers any explanation as to why the incriminating article was left so conspicuously on the body in the first instance mr. Parker hand listened with commendable patience to this academic exposition might not X he suggested be an enemy of crumpled sham so designed to throw suspicion upon him he might in that case he should be easy to discover since C obviously lives in close proximity to crimp al-sham and his glasses and cripple shim in fear of his life will then be a valuable ally for the prosecution how about the first possibility of all misunderstanding or accident well well for purposes of discussion nothing because it really doesn't afford any data for discussion in any case said Parker the obvious course appears to be to go to Salsbury that seems indicated said Lord Peter very well said the detective is it to be you or me or both of us it is to be me said Lord Peter and that for two reasons first because if by possibility number two hypothesis one alternative a Crim poem is an innocent cat's paw the person who put in the advertisement is the proper person to hand over the property secondly because if we are to adopt hypothesis two we must not overlook the sinister possibility that crumples from X is laying a careful trap to rid himself of the person who so unwarily advertised in the Daily Press his interest in the solution to the Battersea Park mystery that appears to me to be an argument for our both going objected the detective far from it said Lord Peter why play into the hands of criminals from X by delivering over to him the only two men in London with the evidence such as it is and shall I say the Wits to connect him with the battersea body but if we told the yard where we were going and we both got nobbled said mr. Parker it would afford strong presumptive evidence of cripple Simms guilt and anyhow if he didn't get hanged for murdering the man in the bath he'd at least get hanged for murdering us well said Lord Peter if he only murdered me you could still hang him and what's the good of wasting a sound marriage' bilang mail like yourself besides how about old levy if you're incapacitated do you think anybody else is going to find him but we could frighten cripple shim by threatening him with the yard well – at all if it comes to that I can frighten him by threatening him with you which seeing you hold what evidence there is is much more to the point and then suppose it's a wild goose chase after all you'll have wasted time when you might be getting on with the case there are several things that need doing well said Parker silenced but reluctant why can't I go in that case Bosh said Lord Peter I am retained by old business tips for whom I entertain the greatest respect to deal with this case and it's only by courtesy that I allow you to have anything to do with it mr. Parker groaned will you at least take Bunter he said in deference to your feelings replied Lord Peter I will take Bunter though he could be far more usefully employed taking photographs or overhauling my wardrobe when is there a good train to Salsbury Bunter there is an excellent train at 10:50 my lord kindly make arrangements to catch it said Lord Peter throwing off his bathrobe and trailing away with it into his bedroom and Parker if you have nothing else to do you might get hold of ladies secretary and look into that little matter of the Peruvian oil Lord Peter took with him for light reading in the train sir Reuben ladies diary it was a simple and in the light of recent facts rather a pathetic document the terrible fighter of the stock exchange who could with one nod set this early bear dancing or bring the savage bull to feed out of his hand whose breath devastated whole districts with famine or swept financial potentates from their seats was revealed in private life as kindly domestic innocently proud of himself and his belongings confiding generous and a little tow his own small economies were duly chronicled side by side with extravagant presents to his wife and daughter small incidents of household routine appeared such as man came to mend the conservatory roof or the new Butler Simpson has arrived recommended by the Goldbergs I think he will be satisfactory all visitors and entertainments were duly entered from a very magnificent lunch to Lourdes Dewsbury the Minister for Foreign Affairs and dr. de bez ke wort the American planet potentially through a series of diplomatic dinners two eminent financiers down to intimate family gatherings of persons designated by Christian names or nicknames about May there came a mention of lady lady's nerves and further reference was made to the subject in subsequent months in September it was stated that freak came to see my dear wife and advised complete rest and change of scene she thinks of going abroad with Rachel the name of the famous nerve specialist occurred as a diner or lunch er about once a month and it came in to Lord Peters mind that freak would be a good person to consult about Levy himself people sometimes tell things to the doctor he murmured to himself and by Jove if levy was simply going round to see freak on Monday night but rather disposes of the baddest e'en that is doesn't it he made a note to look up sir Julian and turned on further on September 18th lady lady and her daughter had left for the South of France then suddenly under the date October 5th Lord Peter found what he was looking for Goldberg screener and Milligan to dinner there was the evidence that Milligan had been in that house there had been a formal entertainment a meeting as of to do shaking hands before the fight screener was a well-known picture dealer Lord Peter imagined an after-dinner excursion upstairs to see the two kuroh in the drawing room and the portrait of the eldest levy girl who had died at the age of sixteen it was by Augustus John and hung in the bedroom the name of the red-haired secretary was nowhere mentioned unless the initial s occurring in another entry referred to him throughout September and October Anderson of Windham had been a frequent visitor Lord Peters shook his head over the Diary and turned to the consideration of the Battersea Park mystery where as in the levee affair it was easy enough to supply a motive for the crime if crime it were and the difficulty was to discover the method of its carrying out and the whereabouts of the victim in the other case the chief obstacle to inquiry was the entire absence of any imaginable motive it was odd that although the papers had carried news of the affair from one end of the country to the other and a description of the body had been sent to every police station in the country nobody had as yet come forward to identify the mysterious occupant of mr. Fitz's bath it was true that the description which mentioned the clean-shaven chin elegantly cut hair and the past nay was rather misleading but on the other hand the police had managed to discover the number of molars missing and the height complexion and other data were correctly enough stated as also the date at which the death had presumably occurred it seemed however as though the man had melted out of society without leaving a gap or so much as a ripple assigning a motive for the murder of a person without relations or antecedents or even clothes is like trying to visualize the fourth dimension admirable exercise for the imagination but arduous and inconclusive even if the day's interview should disclose black spots in the past or present of mr. Krim Folsom how were they to be brought into connection with a person apparently without a past and whose present was confined to the narrow limits of a bath and a police mortuary Bunter said Lord Peter I beg that in future you will restrain me from starting two hairs at once these cases are getting to be a strain on my Constitution one hair has nowhere to run from and the other has nowhere to run to it's a kind of mental DT Bunter when this is over I shall turn pussyfoot force where the police news and take to an emollient diet of the works of the late Charles Garvey's it was its comparative proximity to Milford Hill that induced Lord Peter to lunch at the Minster hotel rather than at the White Hart or some other more picturesquely situated hostel it was not a lunch calculated to cheer his mind as in all Cathedral cities the atmosphere of the clothes pervades every nook and corner of Salisbury and no food in that city but seems faintly flavored with prayer books as he sat sadly consuming that impassive pale substance known to the English as cheese unqualified for there are cheese's which go openly by their names as Stilton camembert Briere Wensleydale or gorgonzola but cheese is cheese and everywhere the same he inquired of the waiter the whereabouts of mr. Krim Belgium's office the waiter directed him to a house rather further up the street on the opposite side adding but anybody will tell you sir mr. Krim Belgium's very well known hereabouts he's a good solicitor I suppose said Lord Peter oh yes sir said the waiter you couldn't do better than trust to mr. cripple Shem sir there's folks say he's old-fashioned but I'd rather have my love bits of business done by mr. compulsion than buy one of these flyway young men not but what mr. compulsion will be retiring soon sir I don't doubt for he must be close on 80 sir if he's a day but then there's young mr. Wickes to carry on the business and he's a very nice steady like young man is mr. compulsion really as old as that said Lord Peter dear me he must be very active for his years a friend of mine was doing business with him in town last week wonderful active sir agreed the waiter and with his game leg too you'd be surprised but there sir I often think when a man's once past a certain age the older he grows the tougher he gets and women the same or more so very likely said Lord Peter calling up and dismissing the mental picture of a gentleman of 80 with a game leg carrying a dead body over the roof of a baracy flat at midnight he's tough sir tough his old Joey bags talk tough and Ilic slide he added thoughtlessly indeed sir said the waiter I couldn't say I'm sure hi beg your pardon said Lord Peter I was quoting poetry very silly of me I got the habit at my mother's knee and I can't break myself of it no sir said the waiter pocketing a liberal tip thank you very much sir you'll find the house easy just afford you come to penny-farthing Street sir about two turnings off on the right hand side opposite afraid that disposes of crippled SIMEX said Lord Peter mine rather sorry he was a fine sinister figure as I have pictured him still his may yet be the brain behind the hands the aged spider sitting invisible in the centre of the vibrating web you know Bunter yes my lord said Bunter they were walking up the street together there's the office over the way pursued Lord Peter I think Bunter you might step into this little shop and purchase a sporting paper and if I do not emerge from the villains lair say within three quarters of an hour you may take such steps as your perspicuity may suggest mister Bunter turned into the shop and desired and Lord Peter walked across and rang the lawyer's bell with decision the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth is my long suit here I fancy he murmured and when the door was opened by a clerk he delivered over his card with an unflinching air he was ushered immediately into a confidential looking office obviously furnished in the early years of Queen Victoria's reign and never altered since a lean frail looking old gentleman rose briskly from his chair as he entered and limped forward to meet him My dear sir exclaimed the lawyer how extremely good of you to come in person indeed I am ashamed to have given you so much trouble I trust you were passing this way and that my glasses have not put you to any great inconvenience pray take a seat Lord Peter he peered gratefully at the young man over a past name obviously the fellow of that's now adorning a dossier in Scotland Yard Lord Peter sat down the lawyer sat down Lord Peter picked up a glass paperweight from the desk and weighed it thoughtfully in his hand subconsciously he noted what an admirable set of fingerprints he was leaving upon it he replaced it with precision on the exact center of a pile of letters it's quite all right said Lord Peter I was here on business very happy to be of service to you very awkward to lose ones glasses mr. crimp Wilson yes said the lawyer I assure you I feel quite lost without them I have this pair but they do not fit my nose so well besides that chain has a great sentimental value for me I was terribly distressed on arriving at balland that I had lost them I made inquiries of the railway but to no purpose I feared they had been stolen there were such crowds at Victoria and the carriage was packed with people all the way to Balam did you come across them in the Train well no said Lord Peter I found them in rather an unexpected place do you mind telling me if you recognized any of your fellow travelers on that occasion the lawyer stared at him not a soul he answered why do you ask well said Lord Peter I thought perhaps the the person with whom I found them might have taken them for a joke the lawyer looked puzzled did the person claimed to be an acquaintance of mine he inquired I know practically nobody in London except the friend with whom I was staying in Balham dr. Philpott's and I should be very greatly surprised at his practising jest upon me he knew very well how distressed I was at the loss of the glasses my business was to attend a meeting of shareholders in menlik aughts bank but the other gentlemen present were all personally unknown to me and I cannot think that any of them would take so great a liberty in any case he added as the glasses are here I will not inquire too closely into the manner of their restoration I am deeply obliged to you for your trouble Lord Peter hesitated pray forgive my seeming inquisitive nose he said but I must ask you another question it sounds rather melodramatic I'm afraid but it's this are you aware that you have any enemy anyone I mean who would profit by your decease or disgrace mr. cripples from sat frozen in Stony surprise and disapproval may I ask the meaning of this extraordinary question he inquired stiffly well said Lord Peter circumstances are a little unusual you may recollect that my advertisement was addressed to the jeweler who sold the chain that surprised me at the time said Mr compulsion but I begin to think your advertisement and your behavior are all of a piece they are said Lord Peter as a matter of fact I did not expect the owner of the glasses to answer my advertisement mr. Krim belgium you have no doubt read what the papers have to say about the Battersea Park mystery your glasses are the pair that was found on the body and they are now in the possession of the police at Scotland Yard as you may see by this he placed the specification of the glasses and the official note before chrimbus him good God exclaimed the lawyer he glanced at the paper and then looked narrowly at Lord Peter are you yourself connected with the police he inquired not officially said Lord Peter I am investigating the matter privately in the interests of one of the parties mr. Krim Belgium rose to his feet my good man he said this is a very impudent attempt but blackmail is an indictable offence and I advise you to leave my office before you commit yourself he rang the bell I was afraid you'd take it like that said Lord Peter it looks as though this ought to have been my friend detective Parker's job after all he laid Parker's card on the table beside the specification and added if you should wish to see me again mr. compulsion before tomorrow morning he will find me at the minster hotel mr. Krim Belgium dis changed to reply further than to direct the clerk who entered to show this person out in the entrance Lord Peter brushed against a tall young man who was just coming in and who stared at him with surprised recognition his face however aroused no memories in Lord Peters mind that baffles noblemen calling out Bunter from the newspaper shop departed to his hotel to get a trunk call through to Parker meanwhile in the office the meditations of the indignant mr. Krim Belgium were interrupted by the entrance of his junior partner I say said the latter gentleman has somebody done something really wicked at last what ever brings such a distinguished amateur of crime on our sobered doorstep I have been the victim of a vulgar attempt at blackmail said the lawyer an individual passing himself off as Lord Peter Wimsey but that is Lord Peter Wimsey said mr. Wickes there's no mistaking him I thought him give evidence in the Attenborough emerald case he's a big little pot in his way you know and goes fishing with the head of Scotland Yard oh dear said mr. Krim Belgium fate arranged that the nerves of mr. Krim Belgium should be tried that afternoon when escorted by mr. Wickes he arrived at the minster hotel he was informed by the porter that Lord Peter Wimsey had strolled out mentioning that he thought of attending evensong but his man is here sir he added if you like to leave a message mr. Wickes thought that on the whole it would be well to leave a message mr. Bunter on enquiry was found to be sitting by the telephone waiting for a trunk call as mr. Wickes addressed him the bell rang and mr. buncher politely excusing himself took down the receiver hello he said is that mr. Parker oh thanks exchanged exchanged sorry can you put me through to Scotland Yard excuse me gentlemen keeping you waiting exchange all right Scotland Yard hello is that Scotland Yard is detective Park around there can I speak to him I shall have done in a moment gentlemen hello is that you mr. Parker Lord Peter would be much obliged if you could find it convenient to step down to Salsbury sir oh no sir he's in excellent health sir just stepped round to Year evensong sir oh no I think tomorrow morning would do excellently sir thank you sir end of chapter five recorded by Kirsten Webber

1 thought on “Whose Body? (Version 2) | Dorothy L. Sayers | Detective Fiction | Talking Book | English | 2/5

  1. Whose Body? (Version 2) | Dorothy L. Sayers | Detective Fiction | Talking Book | English | 2/5

    3: [00:00:00] – 04 – Chapter 4

    4: [00:44:14] – 05 – Chapter 5

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