Pharaoh: The following cartoon is based on real events. Some names were changed in order to protect the innocent. All: Nngggh! Joey: Hey, why ain’t you guys helping? Téa: Get back to work, slave! Bakura: I’ve got a bloody good idea! Let’s use my gaydar in order to locate some gay people! They’ll be able to help us. Tristan: Why would there be gay people down here? Joey: Gay people like to hibernate in caves. I saw it on the Discovery Channel. Téa: Joey, that’s bats. Joey: Bats. Gay people. Same thing. Bakura: It seems my evil ring was pointing to this room. Joey: Oh my God! This is unbelievable! Bakura actually did something useful! *Y.M.C.A – Village People* Bakura: Oh my, I wonder if those are the gay people.
*song continues in background* Joey: There is a slight possibility. *Y.M.C.A – Village People* Kaiba: My brother is being held hostage,
but I don’t really feel like running. So I’m just gonna walk briskly towards Pegasus’ castle. Besides, he’s probably okay. Mokuba: I can’t feel my legs… Kaiba: This picture reminds me of when Mokuba and I were just small children. *Muppet Babies theme*
♪ Kaiba Babies, we make our dreams come true! ♫ Kaiba: We lived in an orphanage because I had fired our parents. It was a very depressing time in my life, since I didn’t have any money, so I was unable to screw the rules. Mokuba was often bullied. And when you’re getting picked on by orphans, you know you’re a loser. Lil’ Seto: Here’s your toy back, Mokuba. That’ll be five bucks. Kaiba: Whenever we felt slightly less miserable, we would play chess. But since it didn’t involve dragons or expensive holograms, I found it extremely boring. Lil’ Mokuba: I love you big brother. Lil’ Seto: Kay thanks. Kaiba: That’s odd. My kaiba senses are tingling. Hair Guy: Attention duelists! My hair is… being assaulted! Kaiba: Idiot. Next time you sneak up on somebody,
try keeping your mouth shut. Hair Guy: I knew those child grabbing classes were a waste of money! Para: We are the brothers Para-dox. Dox: And we love wearing women’s frocks. Para: As villains go we are kinda lame. Dox: But never mind that, let’s play a card game! Yami: We have to duel these guys as a team, Joey! That means you do everything I say. You got that? Joey: -Duhhh.. Okay. Para: We are villains who like to rhyme. Dox: In fact, we do it all the time. Para: You may think it’s rather crass. Dox: But you can stick your cards right up your nose. Para: You were supposed to say ass, brother. I thought we rehearsed this. Yami: Leave it to Beaver Warrior! Para: Wall Shadow! Destroy his Beaver Warrior! Joey: Let this be a lesson to you, Yugh. Never, under any circumstances,
leave your beaver exposed. Yami: You’re right, Joey.
My beaver was on full display. Next time I’ll take better care of my beaver. Téa: I didn’t know Yugi had a beaver. Hair Guy: Attention duelists! My hair has security clearance to get through this door! Kaiba: Why do you keep saying “Attention duelists”? I’m the only other person here. Hair Guy: Hey, shut up! It’s what I do, okay? *Everyone loves Magical Trevor – Mr Weebl* Para: You have tricked us with your magic box. Dox: We invite you to suck on our co Bakura: Cor Blimey! That was a smashing maneuver! Good show, chaps! Tristan: Stop being so British! Kaiba: So this is about the hundred and seventy-eighth time my brother’s been kidnapped. Thanks for listening, by the way. It feels good to get this stuff off my chest. Hair Guy: Attention duelist! My hair is definitely not leading you into a trap! Kaiba: Listen, if you say one more thing about your hair,
I’m gonna shave it off! Hair Guy: You wouldn’t have the guts! Kaiba: Try me, big boy! Para: Against our Gate Guardian you stand no chance, Dox: I’m not wearing any underpants. Para: Is that true, brother, or are you just rhyming? Dox: I didn’t want to throw off our timing. But it is true. Pharaoh: Joey. It’s time for a surprise attack. Joey: No worries Yug, I got your back Pharaoh: Hang on a second, are we rhyming too? Joey: Don’t ask me. I ain’t got a clue. Pharaoh: This is like something out of Dr. Seuss! Téa: I can’t stop staring at Yugi’s caboose. Bakura: Everyone seems to have gone all rhyme-y. Tristan: Shut the hell up, you stupid limey! Kaiba: So you wanna catch a movie later, or… Hair Guy: Rejected! *alarm*
Kaiba: The alarm! What the hell have you done?! *alarm*
Hair Guy: That’s for threatening my hair! *alarm*
Kaiba: I’ll never forgive you for this! ..Whoever you are.. Pharaoh: I activate a spell that allows our monsters to trade places. Which would be completely useless in any other situation. Joey: Our phasers are at the ready, Captain! Yami: Make it so, number one! *PEW PEW PEW* Téa: All right, they won! Tristan: Now they’ve got all 10 star chips. Bakura: And you know what that means? All: This crappy tournament is almost over! Para: It seems that we ran out of luck! Dox: It’s just a card game, who gives a f Mokuba: Big brother! You came to rescue me again! What the hell took you so long? Pegasus: Hello, Kaiba-boy. I’ve been expecting you. Kaiba: Pegasus! I’m gonna make you pay for stealing my cards! Mokuba: And for kidnapping me, right, Seto? Kaiba: Shut up, Mokuba. Mommy and Daddy are talking. Pegasus: I’m afraid your princess is in another castle, Kaiba Boy… Mokuba (slight echo): Big brother! Kaiba: What have you done now? Pegasus: I turned Mokuba into a monster card! And he doesn’t have any attack or defense points! Kaiba: You sick bastard!
That makes him even more worthless than Kuriboh! Please! I’ll do anything! Just don’t release that card to the general public. Pegasus: In that case I want you to have a rematch with Yugi-boy. And this time you have to win. Kaiba: I’ll do it. But only to avenge the death of my little brother! Mokuba: But I’m not dead, Seto. Kaiba: Shut up, Mokuba. *Muppet Babies by Tranzformer* *Victory Fanfare – Final Fantasy VI*