Zai Sadler – “Ls poem” @WANPOETRY

I thought the transition from the page to the stage would be simple Wish me now could have told me back then what I was getting myself into nothing about this was going to be easy Not knowing really showing you people who I am would lead to me needing you to believe me I’ve never needed anything so bad Being for this like my dad loved this life like I wish he had wish I could focus and pay attention like he hadn’t Never been good at dealing Not with hurt or havoc my money or mayhem love or fucking love is the part I don’t know nearly enough of, I won’t even risk the initial jump because I’m already worried about the break-up but that’s how I’ve been living waiting on this other size nine nike to drop been living this way for a minute And I’m gonna be honest with y’all. It ain’t likely I’ll stop hoping for the best but always always expecting the worst, knowing firsthand is that when that other foot hits the ground is when it hurts and I told y’all I don’t handle hurt so good so I stay with a good L Keep spitting and smiling and smoking, but if you looked through the fog, and my smile is broken I ain’t looking for y’all to fix it, only I can do that always been kind of fire at puzzles though, y’all It’s puzzling how sometimes something so small can set me off and then I’m up here, ablaze falling apart right in front of your face but you can’t stand to look away a wild fire of emotion so some time ago I got the notion to start sharing can’t pinpoint exactly when it got so fucking scary but we way past that part of the story now, but it seems stupid to start backtracking or really asking yourself How you got here? But you have to have to ask you to look at the parts of yourself that have you shook or shaking or trembling. Please believe me despite the weed I have no trouble remembering what really matters family matters like the Winslows cuz that’s who’s there when you’re wins low with good L’s and and love I guess I know more about life and love than I give myself credit for about the heats of hell and the heavens I knew my mother was destined for yeah, yeah, maybe I don’t give myself credit enough Two sides of the same coin, change and luck I just wish me now could have gave me back then some kind of heads up But I’m still out here living, living and loving

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